This one happened the second week of classes:
This kid in one of my ENGL 204 courses had been arriving to class late with the excuse that he was coming from the music building. In his defense, it is way across campus and certain music professors hold their students over, making it really hard for them to get to classes on time. Anyway, this particular day he shows up just after I've finished giving a reading quiz. (FYI: I give the questions out loud, always at the beginning of class, collect them immediately and go over them immediately.)
Anyway, I've just collected all the quizzes and I'm going back and forth in my head: do I let him take it (quickly repeat the questions--taking maybe 2 minutes) or just move on? If I didn't let him take it, it wouldn't have been a zero for him--I just wouldn't have counted it, but if he had done the reading, then it seemed unfair not to give him the chance to take it. I already had a great report with this class, so I joke out loud, "Hmmm...should I let him take it? You ran all the way here, didn't you?"
"Well, I walked, I didn't run," he answers.
Honestly, that ticks me off a bit. Because he should have been hauling ass to get to class, you know?
"Okay. In that case, you can't take it," I say.
After class, he comes up to talk to me, and I can tell he was nervous. He started to explain that he didn't mean to sound snarky or rude--he was joking and is worried that it sounded wrong. And I believe him and don't feel ticked off anymore.
But then he keeps talking...
"You see, I'm in [insert name of music class--I can't remember which one] and we are doing a play this semester and for part of it, I am actually being held up in the air and it gets uncomfortable. When class is over, I am completely sore."
I must confess, I have no idea what he is talking about at this point.
"I mean, sore on my...man-parts. So it would have hurt to run to class."
Man-parts? Seriously?
In what universe did that kid think it would be a good idea for one second to make me even think about his man-parts?
"Talk to your teacher," I say, "tell him you missed a quiz today and that he needs not to keep you over anymore, okay?"
Then, mercifully, the conversation is over and he hasn't been late since that day.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
TMI from Students: Part One
The first of two funny stories I've been meaning to post, collected from the first four weeks of this semester:
1) One of our English majors (someone I don't know all that well at all, although we've had a number of friendly conversations) stops by my office to get a registration form for the upcoming conference. "I'm going home this weekend and I'm going to ask my parents for the money. I am trying to keep busy since I'm going through a bad break-up."
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that," I say. But I didn't want any more details. I try to stay way the heck away from students' relationship problems--especially if I hardly know the student.
"Yeah, well, lots of people know about it," she goes on. "I keep talking about it." And she's kind of laughing and loud and not at all private about any of this.
"Oh. I see." And I'm thinking, "please don't say any more."
"Well, it's just because of the way he broke up with me."
I have to say, this piqued my interest, if only a bit. Plus, I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable and felt the need to make a joke. (Yeah, I am one of those people.) So I say, "What, did he send you a text or something? Break up with your voicemail?"
"No--he told me he was gay."
I don't even miss a beat here: "Well, then, sweetheart," (where the heck did the "sweetheart" come from? I dunno...), "you couldn't have done a thing about that."
"But you see," she says (as I am thinking, "Really, we're not done yet?"), "he's not. He just said that. He doesn't go to this school, but I asked a friend goes to his school, 'Okay--tell me the name of the guy he's seeing' and my friend says, 'He's not seeing a guy. He's seeing a girl.'"
My response? A loud burst of uncomfortable laughter followed by, "Well, I sure am sorry about that, but you don't need him." That's my girl-power/feminist refrain to any girl who gets dumped.
Some more awkward conversation followed, but really only awkward in my perception--which only made it more awkward for me. The girl was fine with all of this--telling someone she barely knows that essentially her boyfriend would rather have her think he was gay than just tell her he wanted to break up with her. If he worried she would be the type who just wouldn't go away, then I've got to hand it to the guy: that's a pretty smart strategy. Too bad she's got an informant at his school.
1) One of our English majors (someone I don't know all that well at all, although we've had a number of friendly conversations) stops by my office to get a registration form for the upcoming conference. "I'm going home this weekend and I'm going to ask my parents for the money. I am trying to keep busy since I'm going through a bad break-up."
"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that," I say. But I didn't want any more details. I try to stay way the heck away from students' relationship problems--especially if I hardly know the student.
"Yeah, well, lots of people know about it," she goes on. "I keep talking about it." And she's kind of laughing and loud and not at all private about any of this.
"Oh. I see." And I'm thinking, "please don't say any more."
"Well, it's just because of the way he broke up with me."
I have to say, this piqued my interest, if only a bit. Plus, I was starting to feel a bit uncomfortable and felt the need to make a joke. (Yeah, I am one of those people.) So I say, "What, did he send you a text or something? Break up with your voicemail?"
"No--he told me he was gay."
I don't even miss a beat here: "Well, then, sweetheart," (where the heck did the "sweetheart" come from? I dunno...), "you couldn't have done a thing about that."
"But you see," she says (as I am thinking, "Really, we're not done yet?"), "he's not. He just said that. He doesn't go to this school, but I asked a friend goes to his school, 'Okay--tell me the name of the guy he's seeing' and my friend says, 'He's not seeing a guy. He's seeing a girl.'"
My response? A loud burst of uncomfortable laughter followed by, "Well, I sure am sorry about that, but you don't need him." That's my girl-power/feminist refrain to any girl who gets dumped.
Some more awkward conversation followed, but really only awkward in my perception--which only made it more awkward for me. The girl was fine with all of this--telling someone she barely knows that essentially her boyfriend would rather have her think he was gay than just tell her he wanted to break up with her. If he worried she would be the type who just wouldn't go away, then I've got to hand it to the guy: that's a pretty smart strategy. Too bad she's got an informant at his school.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Moments
Also in late August, I bookmarked the video below. I found it on The Daily Dish, whose guest blogger had found it at Jonah Lehrer's site. Lehner's words say it perfectly: "I won't waste too many words trying to explain this stunning video, which is by Will Hoffman and the folks at Radio Lab. At first glance, it's a mere collection of ordinary moments - a falling teardrop, an escaped balloon, a dive into a pool - but I think it's also evidence that the things we see everyday, when carefully framed, can ache with ignored beauty."
You could so use this in a composition or creative-writing class, couldn't you? It reminds me of that quotation from Tobias Wolf that I posted back in July. Just substitute "art" or "film" or any other medium for "fiction" and you'll see what I mean: “In fact, we’re always living next door to worlds that we don’t suspect and the best fiction suddenly illuminates that thing that’s been beside us all along and makes us see it for the first time and makes us enter another world.”
You could so use this in a composition or creative-writing class, couldn't you? It reminds me of that quotation from Tobias Wolf that I posted back in July. Just substitute "art" or "film" or any other medium for "fiction" and you'll see what I mean: “In fact, we’re always living next door to worlds that we don’t suspect and the best fiction suddenly illuminates that thing that’s been beside us all along and makes us see it for the first time and makes us enter another world.”
God and stuff on a Wednesday night...
(As I attempt to catch-up on my blogging a bit and finally post some of the links I've been saving...)
Back in late August, the ELCA (the synod of the Lutheran Church I grew up in) adopted a statement that will, quoting from the column I'll link to below, "allow congregations to bless and hold publicly accountable those in same-sex, lifelong, monogamous relationships, as well as to call GLBTQ pastors in such relationships to serve as their clergy." Not surprisingly, there's been some mixed responses to this decision and I won't say too much about it one way or the other. But I will point you towards this piece by Nadia Bolz-Weber.
A long excerpt:
"The debate on the floor between those at the green microphones who support these steps and those at the red microphones who reject these steps was sometimes inspired and sometimes insipid. Those in support urged the church to be open and loving as Jesus had been. Those opposed urged the church to heed the Bible. Both sides were passionate and faithful, and I’m proud to say that throughout the debate the assembly paused every 20 minutes to pray together. I watched people say prayerful things, hurtful things, thoughtful things, and idiotic things on both sides of the aisle.
And then a young pastor got up to speak at the green microphone and the first thing he said, in a quivering voice, was “Anyone else frightened to speak? I’m shaking. Please pray for me.” And the man standing right next to him at the red microphone reached over and laid his hand on him and prayed while his brother of the opposing viewpoint spoke.
Then I knew Jesus was really in between the red and green microphones. Not in some sort of neutral Jesus-as-Switzerland sort of way, but in the you-must-lose-your-life-to-gain-it sort of way. Jesus is between the red and the green microphones, between the red and the blue states offering us life and salvation in the words of eternal life and in the sacrament of his own body and blood. Jesus right there between the liberals and conservatives speaking the word that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. Jesus standing there saying forgive as you have been forgiven."
That's good stuff, no?
And then there's this fantastic poem I found on (yes, you guessed it) the Poem of the Day podcast, called "Staying Power," by Jeanne Murray Walker.
In appreciation of Maxim Gorky at the International Convention of Atheists, 1929
Like Gorky, I sometimes follow my doubts
outside to the yard and question the sky,
longing to have the fight settled, thinking
I can't go on like this, and finally I say
all right, it is improbable, all right, there
is no God. And then as if I'm focusing
a magnifying glass on dry leaves, God blazes up.
It's the attention, maybe, to what isn't there
that makes the emptiness flare like a forest fire
until I have to spend the afternoon dragging
the hose to put the smoldering thing out.
Even on an ordinary day when a friend calls,
tells me they've found melanoma,
complains that the hospital is cold, I say God.
God, I say as my heart turns inside out.
Pick up any language by the scruff of its neck,
wipe its face, set it down on the lawn,
and I bet it will toddle right into the godfire
again, which—though they say it doesn't
exist—can send you straight to the burn unit.
Oh, we have only so many words to think with.
Say God's not fire, say anything, say God's
a phone, maybe. You know you didn't order a phone,
but there it is. It rings. You don't know who it could be.
You don't want to talk, so you pull out
the plug. It rings. You smash it with a hammer
till it bleeds springs and coils and clobbery
metal bits. It rings again. You pick it up
and a voice you love whispers hello.
You can read more from and about Jeanne Murray Walker here.
Back in late August, the ELCA (the synod of the Lutheran Church I grew up in) adopted a statement that will, quoting from the column I'll link to below, "allow congregations to bless and hold publicly accountable those in same-sex, lifelong, monogamous relationships, as well as to call GLBTQ pastors in such relationships to serve as their clergy." Not surprisingly, there's been some mixed responses to this decision and I won't say too much about it one way or the other. But I will point you towards this piece by Nadia Bolz-Weber.
A long excerpt:
"The debate on the floor between those at the green microphones who support these steps and those at the red microphones who reject these steps was sometimes inspired and sometimes insipid. Those in support urged the church to be open and loving as Jesus had been. Those opposed urged the church to heed the Bible. Both sides were passionate and faithful, and I’m proud to say that throughout the debate the assembly paused every 20 minutes to pray together. I watched people say prayerful things, hurtful things, thoughtful things, and idiotic things on both sides of the aisle.
And then a young pastor got up to speak at the green microphone and the first thing he said, in a quivering voice, was “Anyone else frightened to speak? I’m shaking. Please pray for me.” And the man standing right next to him at the red microphone reached over and laid his hand on him and prayed while his brother of the opposing viewpoint spoke.
Then I knew Jesus was really in between the red and green microphones. Not in some sort of neutral Jesus-as-Switzerland sort of way, but in the you-must-lose-your-life-to-gain-it sort of way. Jesus is between the red and the green microphones, between the red and the blue states offering us life and salvation in the words of eternal life and in the sacrament of his own body and blood. Jesus right there between the liberals and conservatives speaking the word that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. Jesus standing there saying forgive as you have been forgiven."
That's good stuff, no?
And then there's this fantastic poem I found on (yes, you guessed it) the Poem of the Day podcast, called "Staying Power," by Jeanne Murray Walker.
In appreciation of Maxim Gorky at the International Convention of Atheists, 1929
Like Gorky, I sometimes follow my doubts
outside to the yard and question the sky,
longing to have the fight settled, thinking
I can't go on like this, and finally I say
all right, it is improbable, all right, there
is no God. And then as if I'm focusing
a magnifying glass on dry leaves, God blazes up.
It's the attention, maybe, to what isn't there
that makes the emptiness flare like a forest fire
until I have to spend the afternoon dragging
the hose to put the smoldering thing out.
Even on an ordinary day when a friend calls,
tells me they've found melanoma,
complains that the hospital is cold, I say God.
God, I say as my heart turns inside out.
Pick up any language by the scruff of its neck,
wipe its face, set it down on the lawn,
and I bet it will toddle right into the godfire
again, which—though they say it doesn't
exist—can send you straight to the burn unit.
Oh, we have only so many words to think with.
Say God's not fire, say anything, say God's
a phone, maybe. You know you didn't order a phone,
but there it is. It rings. You don't know who it could be.
You don't want to talk, so you pull out
the plug. It rings. You smash it with a hammer
till it bleeds springs and coils and clobbery
metal bits. It rings again. You pick it up
and a voice you love whispers hello.
You can read more from and about Jeanne Murray Walker here.
Rethinking "Helicopter Parents"
Although over-involved parents aren't much of an issue at Shepherd (so far, anyway), this column from insidehighered.com got me thinking a bit. I know that helicopter parents are the topics of jokes and conversation among teachers these days--and with some good justification--but this writer's unique perspective certainly complicated those easy dismissals.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Monday, August 31, 2009
Total Eclipse of the Heart
So the clip below just put me in a much better mood on this very-busy, very-stressful, non-stop Monday. It's that good.
Awesome. And apparently there is a whole series of these.
Awesome. And apparently there is a whole series of these.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Boys' Favorite New Spot
Sorry posting's been so light lately. We are a week and a half into the new semester at Shepherd and I've been going non-stop. This semester, service obligations (department and university-wide) threaten to drown me, but I have no desire to dwell on that. For now, how about a quick picture of Bing and Wes in their new favorite spot--the house's front window?
Saturday, August 15, 2009
D.C. with Erin and Kelsie
After Christian and Aidan left on Monday morning, Kelsie and I headed to DC to meet up with Erin and hit some museums.
It was Kelsie's first ever subway ride (well, Metro, technically), so we marked the occasion. Oh and that black stuff on her hands came from her sunglasses case, we think. Cute but cheap sunglasses case combined with sweaty hands (it was HOT out!) made for a mess.
On the National Mall.
Facing the Capitol. See how thick and unpleasant the air looks? That's the heat, not just usual Washington noxiousness.
Our first stop was the American History Museum. Kelsie really enjoyed this one because she's a bit of a history nerd. (I say this as a bit of a history nerd myself.) This shot is of her placing her own hand on plaster casts of Lincoln's hand. Abraham, as she calls him, is her favorite president.
This book in the bookstore made us laugh. Can you see the part Kelsie is pointing to?
Remember what I said in the previous post about my brother's kids and their silly faces? Here's Kelsie posing in front of a display on the skeletons of frogs and toads. Turns out frogs are her favorite animals, closely followed by monkeys.
That's better!
After the museums, we decided to walk over to the Lincoln Memorial, since Abraham, after all, is Kelsie's favorite. It is a bit of a walk, but Erin and I were up to the challenge. Kelsie, though, pooped out on us halfway there. "It's too hot," she said. Since Erin and I were all about the kid having fun, we didn't push her. Plus, did I mention that it was freakin' hot? So we headed back to Erin's place to cool down and wait for Eric to get home from work. Then he took us to Faccia Luna for dinner. Fortunately, they had what Kelsie said she had been craving all day...
It was Kelsie's first ever subway ride (well, Metro, technically), so we marked the occasion. Oh and that black stuff on her hands came from her sunglasses case, we think. Cute but cheap sunglasses case combined with sweaty hands (it was HOT out!) made for a mess.
Kelsie on the Metro, making a silly if cute face.
On the National Mall.
Facing the Capitol. See how thick and unpleasant the air looks? That's the heat, not just usual Washington noxiousness.
Our first stop was the American History Museum. Kelsie really enjoyed this one because she's a bit of a history nerd. (I say this as a bit of a history nerd myself.) This shot is of her placing her own hand on plaster casts of Lincoln's hand. Abraham, as she calls him, is her favorite president.
This book in the bookstore made us laugh. Can you see the part Kelsie is pointing to?
After lunch in the American History Museum's cafeteria, we headed over to the Museum of Natural History, which is right next to the History Museum.
Remember what I said in the previous post about my brother's kids and their silly faces? Here's Kelsie posing in front of a display on the skeletons of frogs and toads. Turns out frogs are her favorite animals, closely followed by monkeys.
That's better!
After the museums, we decided to walk over to the Lincoln Memorial, since Abraham, after all, is Kelsie's favorite. It is a bit of a walk, but Erin and I were up to the challenge. Kelsie, though, pooped out on us halfway there. "It's too hot," she said. Since Erin and I were all about the kid having fun, we didn't push her. Plus, did I mention that it was freakin' hot? So we headed back to Erin's place to cool down and wait for Eric to get home from work. Then he took us to Faccia Luna for dinner. Fortunately, they had what Kelsie said she had been craving all day...
...spaghetti and meatballs, which she proudly documented. The grown-ups had some delicious pizza. After dinner, it was back to Virginia for Kelsie and I. It was a good but exhausting day!
New house: visit with the family
As I mentioned below, Christian and his kids were my first houseguests and Erin and Eric visited as well on this past Sunday. Some pictures from that day, most of which I've left uncropped to give you a good view of the yard and the neighborhood.
Kelsie, complete with J-Lo glasses, at the Shepherdstown Farmers Market.
Aidan at Home Depot, where Christian helped me pick out a lawn mower. He encouraged me to pick out a self-propelled model (but not a ride-on, despite what my nephew would have wanted) and even did the lawn for the first time himself.
Erin and Eric on the back deck. Behind them, you can see the door that leads into the large living rooom/dining room (it's one long room that can serve as both).
Even though it was hotter than heck outside, we played a bit of wiffleball outside. Here's Erin at the bat.
Aidan and Kelsie. It is very hard to get my brother's kids to make normal faces in pictures, especially both of them in the same shot.
Wonder where they get it? Here's Christian at the grill. He's standing in the fenced-in patio in the backyard. You walk down the deck and onto this patio.
More wiffleball. This is the backyard sort of facing the side street.
Kelsie, complete with J-Lo glasses, at the Shepherdstown Farmers Market.
Aidan at Home Depot, where Christian helped me pick out a lawn mower. He encouraged me to pick out a self-propelled model (but not a ride-on, despite what my nephew would have wanted) and even did the lawn for the first time himself.
Erin and Eric on the back deck. Behind them, you can see the door that leads into the large living rooom/dining room (it's one long room that can serve as both).
Even though it was hotter than heck outside, we played a bit of wiffleball outside. Here's Erin at the bat.
Aidan and Kelsie. It is very hard to get my brother's kids to make normal faces in pictures, especially both of them in the same shot.
Wonder where they get it? Here's Christian at the grill. He's standing in the fenced-in patio in the backyard. You walk down the deck and onto this patio.
More wiffleball. This is the backyard sort of facing the side street.
Did I mention it was hot? Look at how red Aidan's face is!
More pictures to come later...
New house: photo shoot and a backyard visitor
It's been very busy here around here lately, with family visiting from out of town and prep work for Monday (first day of classes). But I do have some photos to share. My brother Christian, my niece Kelsie, and my nephew Aidan got here last Saturday. Then Erin and Eric came for a visit and cookout on Sunday. One of Erin's birthday gifts to me was a really pretty wooden frame that she said I should put a picture of me and the house in. That, of course, required a photo shoot. So here you go...
The classic "It's All Mine!" pose.
Okay...I was just getting silly here.
I really like this one.
So those are some views of the front yard. This evening, though, I had reason to get some film of the backyard (or at least the wooded area behind my backyard). On Sunday, we saw two deer in the trees, but I wasn't able to get my camera. Today, though, I was luckier.
The classic "It's All Mine!" pose.
Thumbs up, baby!
Okay...I was just getting silly here.
I really like this one.
So those are some views of the front yard. This evening, though, I had reason to get some film of the backyard (or at least the wooded area behind my backyard). On Sunday, we saw two deer in the trees, but I wasn't able to get my camera. Today, though, I was luckier.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
That's just about right...
With classes starting a week from Monday, it's finally time to post this recent favorite from GraphJam.
Actually, I have an awesome car and a great new house, but this made me laugh anyway.
Actually, I have an awesome car and a great new house, but this made me laugh anyway.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
First view of the new house...
...courtesy of Bing's antics in the kitchen.
So people are asking for pictures of the new house--a very sweet and understandable request. However, I don't feel like it is quite ready for a photo session yet. But I can offer the video below, which in addition to showing off Bing's crazy acrobatic feats, also gives you a first view of the kitchen.
Some background: on Saturday, I heard Bing yelling in the kitchen. He does this when he is excited and wants you to notice him, I think. So I go in there thinking he's on the fridge, but instead, I find he's someplace even higher.
I still don't know how he got up there. Did he go from the fridge to the top of the cabinets, then leap over the sink to the top of the rest of the cabinets? Also, about 40/45 seconds in, you can hear Wesley asking for some attention, too. (And yes, this video is even more evidence that he does not know his name.)
So people are asking for pictures of the new house--a very sweet and understandable request. However, I don't feel like it is quite ready for a photo session yet. But I can offer the video below, which in addition to showing off Bing's crazy acrobatic feats, also gives you a first view of the kitchen.
Some background: on Saturday, I heard Bing yelling in the kitchen. He does this when he is excited and wants you to notice him, I think. So I go in there thinking he's on the fridge, but instead, I find he's someplace even higher.
I still don't know how he got up there. Did he go from the fridge to the top of the cabinets, then leap over the sink to the top of the rest of the cabinets? Also, about 40/45 seconds in, you can hear Wesley asking for some attention, too. (And yes, this video is even more evidence that he does not know his name.)
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
What's new?
Well, unpacking is still going on--and going quite well. I am scheduled (because, yes, I write a daily schedule for myself) to finish up today. Well, except for hanging stuff on walls. I need some time to plan that out.
But, as noted below, I am also packing--that is, packing up my office at school. It's sort of depressing to do, but I keep reminding myself that there is a good reason: that shiny new office. One problem: said shiny new office is totally not ready and no one can tell when it will be ready. Blame the bats, who put construction about two weeks behind schedule.
Anyway, in the meantime, I am working on my fall syllabi (I can't believe they aren't done yet--I usually have them done well before now) and getting back into a somewhat normal routine. I've got tons and tons of links and things saved up to post, but can't devote time to them right now (see paragraph one, re: daily schedule). But for now, how about a cool video? (Via Andrew Sullivan.)
Does that look like fun?
But, as noted below, I am also packing--that is, packing up my office at school. It's sort of depressing to do, but I keep reminding myself that there is a good reason: that shiny new office. One problem: said shiny new office is totally not ready and no one can tell when it will be ready. Blame the bats, who put construction about two weeks behind schedule.
Anyway, in the meantime, I am working on my fall syllabi (I can't believe they aren't done yet--I usually have them done well before now) and getting back into a somewhat normal routine. I've got tons and tons of links and things saved up to post, but can't devote time to them right now (see paragraph one, re: daily schedule). But for now, how about a cool video? (Via Andrew Sullivan.)
Does that look like fun?
Friday, July 31, 2009
And one more move to do...
As I write this, I am sitting in my office on campus which also has to be packed up and moved in the next week. This is a good thing--a new shiny office (with windows and brand-new furniture) up on the second floor with the rest of the department awaits me, but the very thought of packing another box (with books!) is cringe-inducing.
Also, this is my 500th post! Cool.
Also, this is my 500th post! Cool.
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