The cats were sleeping downstairs...

31 July 2022: Texted Vogel today that I was reading Alcott while listening to the Yankee game--which is pretty much quintessentially me (minus the bit alluded to in this post's title). 

"eccentric Bereavment"

30 July 2022:

"To lose what we

never owned

might seem an 

eccentric Bereavement

but Presumption 

has its Affliction

as actually as

Claim--"

-Emily Dickinson in a letter to Sue, mid-1870s

Rereading Open Me Carefully for my entry on Dickinson...

College tour

29 July 2022: Chris, Jen, and Aidan were in town today so that Aidan could tour Shepherd. Hard to believe he is about to be a senior. He's a great kid and I think he'll really come into his own and find his people at college, wherever he decides to go. Can't wait to see it!

"I was still thinking about the last poem..."

28 July 2022: "Participants at the community reading  [a 2004 marathon reading of Dickinson's works] were seriously engaged as they read; one organization after another took its place in the circle of chairs and became absorbed in the poetry as if settling into a study group. One of my favorite moments was when a young woman's turn came to read and she sat studying the page. 'Oh,' she said, when she looked up and saw us waiting for her, 'I was still thinking about the last poem'" (Hart 81).

Can you tell I am onto my Dickinson entry now? 

Work Cited

Hart, Ellen Louise. "May the Circle Be Unbroken: Reading Emily Dickinson After 9/11." Wider Than the Sky: Essays and Meditations on the Healing Power of Emily Dickinson, edited by Cindy MacKenzie and Barbara Dana, Kent State UP, pp. 69-82.

Morrison and Chopin

27 July 2022: Finished up my entry on The Awakening today, so it's on my mind this evening, particularly Joyce Dyer's superb reading of the novel through the lens of Toni Morrison and Playing in the Dark. This passage, from the piece's final paragraph, sums it up pretty well: 

"In her novel and in her stories, Chopin knows there can be no freedom--in the South, anywhere in the nation, not in a single heart--without the recognition that black servitude in any form dare not remain. And there can be no artistic freedom without finding a way--perhaps encoded, nuanced, contradictory, hidden in the shadows of black Americans--to say this. The message is full of danger and the potential for sabotage, but it is vital to the identity of America's history and of American literature itself. The black presence is never on the edges of a text by white writers, because it lives powerfully at the center of the white imagination. The subject of the dream is the dreamer. This is the message Toni Morrison forces us to hear" (Dyer 152-153).

Work Cited

Dyer, Joyce. “Reading The Awakening with Toni Morrison.” Southern Literary Journal, vol. 35, no. 1, 2002, pp. 138–54. EBSCOhost.  

Nope

26 July 2022: We saw Nope today to celebrate Amy's birthday in the low-key way she prefers. Holy cow, what a fun movie, especially because you just know there are layers there and things you'll be thinking and talking about for a long time. It was also more joyful and funny that I was anticipating, which was a nice surprise. 

"As Cool As I Am..."

25 July 2022: After a full day on campus, I came home (already hitting my 10K steps) and realized that the rain that was supposed to come this afternoon and evening wasn't coming. And that, even though it was still gross out, the heat had broken a bit. And that it was maybe the only chance I'd have to mow the lawn (which was long) for several days. So I did it reluctantly, even though I knew I would be glad when I was done. 

Another incentive? I knew I had the first episode of Mark and Sarah Talk About Songs' new season on the "Lilith Fairest of Them All" waiting for me to listen to while I mowed. What a fun episode of a season I am so excited to hear! Like Mark suggested for himself, this song--which is at the top of the rankings for now--might just go all the way in my rankings.

"Emmylou," again...

24 July 2022: Feeling a bit "Sunday evening melancholy and anxious" and need to get it together in ten minutes for a work dinner (yes: on a Sunday in July). Made a wish that Pandora would play something soothing next to make it a bit better. And Pandora came through with this gem.

Not the first time I've written about this song, as indicated in this post's title. Different vibes for that day, but I like that it's come back around as "working" for the moment. 

"cause it's worth it"

23 July 2022: What a delight Marcel the Shell with Shoes On is! Funny, sweet, visually interesting--just a joy to watch. 

Marcel: Guess why I smile a lot.

Dean: Why?

Marcel: Uh, 'cause it's worth it.

Does listing it all out make it better? Not sure...

22 July 2022: Work stuff I did today:

• Read a bunch for my entry on The Awakening
• Typed up a bunch of notes for that entry
• Research for my Dickinson entry 
• Got some books from the library for the Dickinson entry (and returned a bunch more)
• Assistant Dean work, specifically regarding IELP
• Senate President work
• Revised/updated documents for my ENGL 301 course
• Sigma Tau Delta work 
• (Light) work on a possible certificate our department might offer
• Attended a reception for a (fabulous) VP who is retiring--and this was lovely
• Attended a search committee meeting for her replacement
• So many emails...

Got to campus around 7:45 a.m. Left after 6:00 p.m. Long day, but at least I got stuff done. 

"I'm in love with your grandmother"

21 July 2022: Doing the research for my entry on The Awakening and really enjoyed Emily Toth's essay (cited below) where she includes this little story: When Per Seyersted--the scholar who played a huge role in the Chopin revival--reached out to Chopin's grandson, he confessed to him, "I am in love with your grandmother" (Toth 19). Of course, this makes sense--loving and studying literature can feel like falling in love. It seems especially relatable with a figure like Chopin.

That anecdote, charming as it is, is only some of what Toth's essay does so well, as she recreates that time when young scholars had to fight and fight to even study women writers--and did so in the midst of great social upheaval and change. It's a great piece.

Work Cited

Toth, Emily. "My Part in Reviving Kate Chopin." Awakenings: The Story of the Kate Chopin Revival, edited by Bernard Koloski, Louisiana UP, 2009, pp. 15-31.

"on a bus with my team"

20 July 2022: Long and kind of stressful day, but I did manage to get some stuff done. And the podcasts I listened to on my morning walk has been on my mind all day: You Are Good's episode about A League of Their Own. When Sarah said, "I think all I really want is to be on a bus with my team," I thought, "same!" and have been thinking it ever since. 

Being on the bus (well, van) was 100% my favorite part of being on a team when I was a (very bad) junior/senior high athlete. It's great anytime I am driving somewhere with my (non-athletic) "teams." It something I am always up for. Sounds amazing right about now. 

"Dance With Me"

19 July 2022: Really seeking out calming tunes these days, especially in the evenings when I have time to think and worry. Anyway, this one is working tonight. Been a fan since I was little kid.

Stay or go...

18 July 2022: At several points today, I found myself thinking about how young people decide whether to leave their childhood homes (meaning areas, not necessarily a single structure) or stay (or perhaps come back after college). I guess it had been on my mind in abstract ways since my trip to NY last weekend. 

It came up today at the dentist, when the hygienist asked me if I miss NY. I told her that I missed some things, but was pretty happy with where I am now. I thought about it later, realizing what a privilege it was to have options--to have choices about what I would do, to have the luxury of leaving without great amounts of guilt or obligations and try to make some new, different version of myself.

And then this evening, it came up (as it frequently does in discussions of Appalachia) at a reading I attended by Gretchen Moran Laskas. She pointed to this debate as central to Appalachian literature (which is spot-on). 

It's always kind of humbling to think about the dramatic ways privilege, luck, and chance shape your life. 

Travel days...

17 July 2022: Travel days like today (I left NY at 9:30, made it home by 3:30) always strike me with how different opposite ends of the day are. Woke up in my very first childhood bedroom on a twin bed, with my brother's old dog sleeping on the floor next to me. I had breakfast with my parents, Erin, and the girls and then hit the road. Thirteen hours later, I am in my own home, with Wes and Veronica, having  unpacked, done some laundry, mowed the lawn, and shifted back into "normal." I haven't had a really good night's sleep in several days, so I am hoping to sink into slumber easily tonight and get back to writing tomorrow. 

Graduation party...

16 July 2022: 

[Catch-up post...]

The reason for my quick trip up to NY? Olivia's high school graduation party, which was on Saturday. It was nice to celebrate this achievement for a remarkable kid. 

"Changing Your Mind"

15 July 2022: 

[Catch-up post...]

Listened to a Patreon episode of You're Wrong About on my drive up to NY on Friday. These drives always give me lots of time for Big Thoughts. This episode, in which listeners called in to share what they were wrong about, had some great connections to those thoughts. This particular part stood out to me: ""You can change your mind and have consistent values. In fact, that may be a hallmark of it." It's simply and elegantly put and something I've come to see the wisdom of more and more with each year. 

"Tupelo"

14 July 2022: It doesn't make complete sense given the lyrics, but this song always calms me down a bit. (And maybe there's something meta there: a version of what the singer is telling himself--that it will be okay soon.) Anyway, a lot on my mind tonight after a kind of strange day, so "Tupelo" it is...

Pottery class...

13 July 2021: Picked up my finished pottery pieces today. They aren't good, but I made them and that's kind of cool. The two best ones will work fine as cat bowls. After we picked them up, Emily, Mel, Amy, and I (the four of us took the classes together) got dinner. Without a doubt, spending time with them (and watching them work) was the best part of the whole experience for me. I am pretty sure I won't take any more lessons, but I am glad I took these. 

"tell us we don't have to"

12 July 2022: "I can’t say I have much faith in the utility of pointing out the contradictions within homophobia and transphobia. Moral panics feed on illogic. What I do hope is that no one who considers themselves an ally stays silent but, instead, speaks up against this creeping hate. So many of us feel the old instinct to make ourselves invisible; tell us we don’t have to." --John Paul Brammer, in this powerful piece in The Washington Post.

Guest hosting again...

11 July 2022: Guest hosted at trivia again tonight and it was, as it always is, fun. With rising cases numbers everywhere, I worry about exposure, so I am glad it's not a regular gig (for now). But if we ever get back to something close to normal (long-term), it would be nice to do it every week again. 

Setting the standard...

10 July 2022: Felt entirely too much suburban dad satisfaction today when my neighbor told me about a conversation between her and a bunch of other neighbors about how I set the standard for when to mow the lawn. I half explained that it was (for me) more about anxiety over it getting too long and clogging up the mower, but stopped myself from being too revealing. Ha. (So many things I am fastidious about grow out of little anxieties...)

Eurydice

9 July 2022: Spent most of today (a Saturday) in my office working on book stuff. Made some slow and steady progress on my next entry, this one on Sarah Winnemucca. I am actually surprised at how much I've gotten done in a week when I took Monday and Tuesday off. 

I stopped at 3:00 to step over to Reynolds to see the Rude Mechanicals' production of Sarah Ruhl's Eurydice. I was really impressed by the play (the text) and by the performances. There weren't many people in the audience--just two of us, in fact, not counting the crew--but that made it kind of special, in a way. Crazy lucky to live in a town and work in a place where you can pop out of your office to see a show like that for $2 on a Saturday afternoon. 

"fiddle with the knobs..."

8 July 2022: "Oh, man. Like, really sensitive, emotionally aware kids just feel responsible for everything. Like, if they'd fiddle with the knobs, like - and they were more this or they were less that, then they can make their home lives, you know, better or more manageable in some way." --Gene Demby, in a kind of aside in this episode of Code Switch.

First, this is a great episode: interesting, moving, and funny and about a culture I don't know much about. But Demby's insight stood out to me. Sensitive, "weird," little kids stand out to me, no doubt in part because I was one. Some kids feel so much that you just want to lift it from them. 

Pages and pages...

7 July 2022: Certainly got back on track with the Uncle Tom's Cabin entry today, writing nearly 2500 words, most of them (I hope?) pretty decent. I'll give it a careful read-through and some revision tomorrow, but then it's onto the next one. Whew!

A bit behind...

6 July 2022: A rough night's sleep (triggered by an achy stomach that lingered all day) and the inability to focus much led to a less-than-productive writing day. I am feeling behind where I wanted to be on this Uncle Tom's Cabin entry, but I am hopeful that a better night's sleep tonight and a more or less uninterrupted day will lead to some progress. I am also telling myself that I should have counted at least half of today as a "vacation" day, of which I have had precious few this summer. 

Home again...

5 July 2022: Back home after a great mini-vacation with the McNetts. It's great to be home, but these in-between days (of all kinds) are always weird for me. Hard to settle down or feel quite normal, but I'm working on it. Back to normal (for real) tomorrow.

Bald Eagle State Park

4 July 2022: 

[Catch-up post...]

Got to do some swimming, boating, and tubing. Nice way to spend the 4th when it's hard to feel that great about the country right now.

Delgrosso's

3 July 2022: 

[Catch-up post...]

Living her best summer life at Delgrosso's Amusment Park.

Spikes Game!

2 July 2022: 

[Catch-up post...]

Little vacation in PA with the McNetts kicked off with my first baseball game since the pandemic. Felt great, even with the Spikes' loss.

Little Man

1 July 2022: A lot on my mind today, but I just had a phone conversation with Little Man (my nephew Colin) who turned 18 today. It's hard to believe. He's a good kid: works hard, moves through the world with generosity and respect, and has a nice sense of humor. He's been a blessing in our family and I am eager to see what the future holds for him. 

One of my favorite pictures of him, watching geese down at Harpers Ferry back in 2009.