Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Rethinking "Helicopter Parents"
Although over-involved parents aren't much of an issue at Shepherd (so far, anyway), this column from insidehighered.com got me thinking a bit. I know that helicopter parents are the topics of jokes and conversation among teachers these days--and with some good justification--but this writer's unique perspective certainly complicated those easy dismissals.
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4 comments:
All I can say is that I would have died if my mother called any of my professors. I understand what the author is saying about students with real psychological problems but the majority don't have such problems. At least I don't think they do. I thought it was bad enough to deal with this type of parent in elem. school. I can't imagine them in college!
I don't think the author would disagree with your statements at all. I just appreciate her reminding us that there are exceptional cases and knee-jerk reactions aren't always the right ones. And, unfortunately, more and more students entering college have real psychological or emotional problems that (in the past) might have prevented them from attending college. Not so anymore, which brings up a whole new set of questions/concerns.
So yes--the parent of a perfectly normal kid (whatever that is) hovering around is annoying, but sometimes, every once in a while, there's a valid reason for the hovering. That's all.
And yes, I would have died too had my mom called any of my professors. Yikes!
I had one really horrible semester at RC--I was taking Seminar, Shakespeare, 19th Century American lit, Contemporary poetry, a German lit class, and PE. It was horrible and I was miserable. I was also--though I didn't know it at the time--struggling with depression. Mom and Dad found out what a hard time I was having (thanks to Jane having the sense to tell them) and called the school Chaplain. He called me late one night, and asked me to come in & talk with him the next day. If they hadn't done that, I probably would have kept ignoring the problem--which included much skipping of classes, regular crying jags, etc. I'm very grateful that they did interfere.
I do think that I'm one of the exceptions, though (and frankly, that semester was an exception. Any other time I would have been upset to have Mom & Dad call someone to help me). Under normal circumstances, the Flegals are not remotely helicopter-ish. Part of the lesson is that parents need to know when to get involved and when to stay out. I suspect that's one of the hardest things for a parent to do.
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https://blog.mindvalley.com/helicopter-parents/
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