Unexpected poetry...

31 January 2024: Met with fifteen students today for conferences, all between 20 and 30 minutes. Like Monday, it wore me out, but was also exhilirating. And I had to stop and write down a line from one of them, an English 102 student talking about a video game he loves to play: "I looked up," he said, "and saw a galaxy." 

Best committee on campus...

30 January 2024: The Common Reading Selection Committee met today to narrow our field down to five finalists for next year's book. This is never an easy process, but consistently this is the best committee on campus. So wonderful to be surrounded by people who are passionate about good books. 

Conference Week...

29 January 2024: Conferencing with my ENGL 102 students this week--and my seminar students have a paper due on Friday, so needless to say, I will spent a big part of this week in one-on-one meetings with them. One day down and it's the same as always: on-your-(mental)-toes work that wears you out but is also often so much fun. 

"You need to know the difference"

28 January 2024: “The thing about the dead, some come because they miss you, some come because they need to tell you something you need to hear, some of them just want to take you with them. You need to know the difference.” 

Rewatching episode two of True Detective: Night Country before episode three airs tonight. The quotation above--from Rose, played by the terrific Fiona Shaw--is pretty darn good writing. That turn it takes in the final clause of the first sentence! Reminds me of Maxine Hong Kingston's "No Name Woman." 

Another win...

27 January 2024: Got to see the women's basketball team score another win today. It was a terrific game from start to finish. Two pretty evenly matched teams and close throughout. 

January Late-Afternoon Loop

26 January 2024: It got into the 70s today. By about 4:00, after working or teaching non-stop since 9:00 and know I had a couple of hours of work in front of me still, I was like, "I gotta get out there, if only for a bit." So, for the first time in a while, I did a late-afternoon version of my mid-day loop, complete with this playlist. 

Worked like a charm: took in those lovely (if weird!) temperatures, got some more steps, and was energized to get back to work. 

(Now I am still here working at 7:00, but it's almost done and I am heading home soon--with my steps almost all done, too.)

Dreams become memories...

25 January 2024: I dreamt of my brother last night. 

We were in a car, driving back from I don't know where. Felt like we were in North Carolina, heading into Greensboro from Rockingham County, but we were also heading "home," though it wasn't the house we grew up in. He was the Ryan of maybe 20/25 years ago, maybe--much more "himself" than he was in the last years. 

(For the record: I do keep thinking about this--the idea that I keep refusing to see the "him" of those last years as "him." I think that might be problematic for a bunch of reasons, but I can't help it, at least not yet.) 

Anyway, as we drove down this long, straight, and shade-covered road, we could see the sky changing to a dark grayish-purple, a sure sign of stormy weather again. Like so many southern storms, we came upon it like passing through an invisible border: I could see the sheet of rain in front of us before we got to it. And then we were in it. Pouring rain, winds--the whole thing, including trees down in the roadway. Ryan was driving. He maneuvered through it all with easy skill--no stress, no anxiety. I never really felt afraid. I knew he had it. In those days before his steep decline, I always marveled at his (sober) driving skills. 

Then we got home--again, not our house, but some kind of home. I was unloading groceries or the dishwasher--can't remember which. He went off to do something else. It was fine. Ordinary. Kind of nice.

Anyway, that was it. No idea what it all means, though I can trace out bits that resonate with symbolism. 

As I lay in bed this morning, I found the phrase "dreams become memories" running through my mind. There will be no new actual memories of my brother. But this dream, I think, works well as a new kind of memory. It's not "real," but it sure felt true. And I think (hope?) that I will hold onto this dream memory.  

Update: just found this post, from only a couple of months ago. Looks like I got a version of what I asked for. My goodness...

Getting the rhythm down...

24 January 2024: It's awfully early (week 3) to make any judgments that speak to weeks beyond this one, but so far, I feel like I have a good grip on the rhythm of the semester. Very productive writing day yesterday. Busy, busy teaching day today, but managed to get everything graded and then prepped for Friday. Made it home by 5:30 and even read some pages from my book club selection before dinner. (Normally, I am getting in at 6, 7, or later and then it's a mad rush to do the chores and dinner and all that.) My daily list is just about done, too. 

I sure would love to get used to this, but throw in some meetings or big stacks of grading and I know it will change. Still, I appreciate this rhythm tonight. 

Down to nine!

23 January 2024: Just absolutely powered through my Rose Terry Cooke entry today, courtesy of a day with no other commitments. And now I am down to just nine more entries to complete. It feels pretty darn good: I've already completed my three entries for this month, which is great considering I have ENGL 102 conferences next week. Moreover, I showed myself that I can do the outlining, drafting, and (initial) revising of an entry from start to finish in one day. That makes me even more determined to carve out as many complete "writing days" as possible this semester. 

Done (for now)...

22 January 2024: Finished the last week of guest-hosting trivia this evening. Glad it's done in some ways, but also still grateful for the chance to do it once in awhile. The people are so lovely and it's nice to fall back into the role. 

"Dely's Cow"

21 January 2024: "There are two sorts of people in the world — those who love animals, and those who do not. I have seen them both, I have known both; and if sick or oppressed, or borne down with dreadful sympathies for a groaning nation in mortal struggle, I should go for aid, for pity, or the relief of kindred feeling, to those I had seen touched with quick tenderness for the lower creation,—who remember that the 'whole creation travaileth in pain together,' and who learn God’s own lesson of caring for the fallen sparrow, and the ox that treadeth out the corn. With men or women who despise animals and treat them as mere beasts and brutes I never want to trust my weary heart or my aching head; but with Dely I could have trusted both safely, and the calf and the cat agreed with me" (Cooke 187).

Sitting here this afternoon, typing up notes on Cooke's stories while BabyCat and Jo chase each other around the room, these words from "Dely's Cow" sure ring true to me, just as they have every day of my conscious life. 

Work Cited

Cooke, Rose Terry. "How Celia Changed Her Mind" and Selected Stories. Edited by Elizabeth Ammons, Rutgers UP, 1986.

Poor Things

20 January 2024: Finally got to see Poor Things. My goodness, Emma Stone is so amazing. The film itself is so weird and funny. It does sort fall apart in the third act, but definitely worth seeing. 

Snow ducks...

19 January 2023: I think Jane got me this duck snowball (?) maker two years ago and I had no chance to use it. Busted it out today for the fresh snow that fell, canceling classes for another day. 

After all these years, when it comes to groups of youngsters, I still think in fives.  

"ungrandiose, concrete art..."

18 January 2024: “...the form permits women to offer ungrandiose, concrete art, shaped, more often than not, by the rhythm of domestic and feminine experience, which is cyclical, repetitive, and often inconclusive” (Ammons xxii).

This is one of the best and most moving description of the ninteenth-century, woman-authored, regional sketch that I have come across. And it's precisely why this genre is so rich and rewarding.  

Work Cited

Ammons, Elizabeth. Introduction. “How Celia Changed Her Mind” and Selected Stories, by Rose Terry Cooke, edited by Elizabeth Ammons, Rutgers UP, 1986, pp. ix-xl.

"Mrs. Flint's Married Experience"

17 January 2024: 

"There is nothing so attractive to a woman who is no longer young as the idea of a home. The shadow of age and its infirmities affrights her ; loneliness is a terror in the future; and the prospect of drifting about here and there, a dependent, poor, proud, unwelcome, when flesh and heart fail, and the ability to labor is gone, makes any permanent shelter a blessed prospect, and draws many a woman into a far more dreadful fate than the work-house mercies or the colder charity of relatives" (Cooke 99).

I haven't read this story, "Mrs. Flint's Married Experience," in years, but it still moves me, no doubt even more than it did when I was younger. 

Rose Terry Cooke (the subject of the entry I am working on now) is a complicated woman, but I am glad to return to her. 

Work Cited

Cooke, Rose Terry. "How Celia Changed Her Mind" and Selected Stories. Edited by Elizabeth Ammons, Rutgers UP, 1986.

Snow day...

16 January 2024: We got about 3 or 4 inches of snow here last night into today, enough to delay and eventually close campus. So, that means it's been pretty quiet. I helped my neighbor shovel the driveway of the older couple of who lives across the street and then he helped me finish mine. The snow is the kind that just pushes very easily, so it wasn't hard. Still, extra hands make the work go faster. It felt very, well...neighborly.

Then I walked up to school to do a bit of work, including a Zoom call with my practicum students. Headed back home, watched some TV, did some reading. Making dinner right now. Will probably watch some more TV, take my bath, read for fun, and get to bed early-ish. 

That's about it. Didn't get everything on my "to do" list done, but I am going to give myself a break here in the name of a gosh-darn snow day. (Plus, finished my latest entry super quickly on Monday, so I feel a bit more entitled to breathe. Ten more to go!)

Maybe she thinks I need more protein?

15 January 2023: Always very sweet when Jo comes bounding in and drops a toy mouse near me, but her placement here is top notch.

"whatever somebody else was willing to pay for it"

14 January 2024: "The value, the auctioneer said, was whatever somebody else was willing to pay for it."

Been thinking all day about the last line of this piece in the Washington Post. Just a fascinating story about the cost of one man's obsession. 

"My Love Will Keep"

13 January 2023: 

Nice to hear this one come across the speaker while I'm working on a cold and windy night.

One week down...

12 January 2023: A pretty great first week of classes! Right now I am sitting here thinking about things to do a bit better in my ENGL 102 class (like...more writing in class, duh!), but feeling pretty good overall. I said to Tim (more than once this week), "I just love these kids."

Freedom National

11 January 2024: “The real moral dilemma of the Civil War, however, arises from the fact that it was about slavery; the tragedy of the war lies not in its pointlessness, but in its necessity” (Oakes xvi).

Really moved by this passage from Oakes's book, which I've been reading for my entry on Slavery and Abolition.

Work Cited

Oakes, James. Freedom National: The Destruction of Slavery in the United States, 1861-1865. W.W. Norton, 2013.

“These are the Nights that Beetles love—”

10 January 2023: 

"A Bomb upon the Ceiling

Is an improving thing —"

The lines above are some of my favorite from the Dickinson poems we discussed in class today. In fact, I laughed out loud when the student read them. Just so freaking weird and delightful. 

Matthew 25:40

9 January 2024: Clicked on a "trending" topic on Twitter--the name of a high school, fearing the worst had happened--another school shooting. But it's instead (and thank God) a story about about nearly 2000 migrants being housed in the school (in NYC) for one night because of the impending storm. The students will learn remotely tomorrow. 

And right-wingers are losing their minds over it. What in the world has happened to people? None of this ideal, but to villify people who have lost so much and risked so much...to view acts of compassion and humanity as crimes against "our" people...it's just so far from Christian values. Stunning and sad. 

"'Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me."

Spring 2024 Semester: Off We Go!

8 January 2024: One day of teaching in the books and it went pretty darn well. It's always so energizing (verging on overwhelming) on the first day and I managed to get everything on my list done--and guest-hosted trivia this evening. Not bad! 

"The Bees: Part I"

7 January 2024: Listened to Aleksandar Hemon's story today while finishing my walk and taking down the Christmas lights (the last bit of de-decorating). That's always a bittersweet and not particulary fun task, but this (also bittersweet and also funny) story made it go by quickly.

Snowy day...

6 January 2024: If we have to have a snowy day, I am okay with it happening on a Saturday. Took my walk early (thank you, YakTrax), worked on finishing up my next entry (all done!), walked up to the basketball game (thank you again, YakTrax), and got all of my chores done. Having the game to walk to helped my mood quite a bit--it kept me from feeling so isolated, which a big reason I don't like snow. Settled in now for some TV and maybe some reading before bed. So...a good snowy day. 

Spring 2024 Convocation

5 January 2024: Opening convocation is always a lovely way to welcome a new semester--and look around a room and see the faces of new students. It's also fun to see folks back on campus and (more or less) ready to go. As for me, syllabi are done and ready. Monday's classes are planned. One more weekend and then it's off we go. 

One year ago today...

4 January 2024: One year ago today, Jo March Hanrahan joined our little household. I've posted about her a lot lately, but she deserves it. Today, after a stressful and annoying conversation at work, I was like, "Well, at least I can go home to Jo and Veronica soon." And it made me feel better. They are magic that way. 

Emma and the oil change...

3 January 2024: A former student who I am very fond of, Emma, basically runs the service department at the Subaru dealer. Every time I go, it's fun to see her and catch up. The last time I went (over the summer, I think?) she had just found out the gender of her second baby. Social media updates let me know when her baby arrived (another girl). 

When I scheduled my appointment yesterday to get an oil change/tire rotation today, I wondered if she would be back from maternity leave. And she was--in fact, it was her first day back. So, we got to catch up again, this time with lots of baby and big sister updates.

Always grateful for chances to connect with former students. Just more evidence for how lucky I have been. 

"St. Peter's Autograph"

2 January 2024: I'm spending this afternoon and this evening reading for my next entry, using some Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit's albums as my soundtrack. I've also been thinking about how best to help and comfort a friend who is going through grief and mourning. This song--though about a specific situation that doesn't exactly fit--offers some guidance, I think. 

New Year's Day 2024

1 January 2024: Spent the afternoon with Tim and Kevin. We had lunch (every part of it delicious--a spicy pumpkin soup, simple but amazing salad, crusty bread, and homemade pumpkin pie and ice cream for dessert). We played a few games. And we talked and talked and talked. 

This holiday season wasn't ideal, but it sure was lovely to end it with two of my favorite people on the planet.