Submitted, almost submitted, almost done...

28 February 2023: Today, I hit "submit" on one grant application today, am now one signature away from submitting another one, and have a contract for the new Honors Director one signature away from being fully executed. Add to that finishing my annual report and merit pay letter on Sunday and submitting our NWP site report on Monday. 

In other words, making some good progress on the million things hanging over my head. It feels good.

"Something there is that doesn't love a wall..."

27 February 2023: Robert Frost came to mind on my walk today...

"full of boredom..."

26 February 2023: "Herland, as a piece of utopian fiction, sits neatly at the intersection of these two insights, framed as an ethnographic account which despite its interesting premise is full of boredom for its protagonists as well as for (some of) its readers" (Awkward-Rich 339).

This passage made me laugh; I am one of those readers who found Herland pretty boring, even as I acknowledge its importance. Awkward-Rich (what a name!) does make a cool argument here--that boredom is part of the point--but I appreciated also feeling seen in my boredom.

Speaking of boredom, someone seems to be feeling better today, though not thoroughly entertained by me typing notes...

Work Cited

Awkward-Rich, Cameron. “The Fiction of Ethnography in Charlotte Perkins Gilman’s Herland.” Science Fiction Studies, vol. 43, no. 2 [129], July 2016, pp. 331–50. EBSCOhost.

Midterm grades: DONE!

25 February 2023: Weird day here. Jo also seems to be a bit sick (and has worms--for which the vet can't see her until late March), so I am worried about her. But! I just clicked "submit" on my last midterm grades and "weird day/anxiety about the kitten" be damned. We need a bit of chair-dancing, even if just for a moment.

Saying goodbye...

24 February 2023: Said goodbye to someone who I haven't known that long but who had a huge impact on my life. I am staying vague for privacy reasons, but the whole situation is tragic. Knowing him has been a gift, though. The fact that it's so sad only makes that clearer. 

Home early on a 70 degree day...

23 February 2023: I have been dealing with a sore throat since Monday (but also...kind of all the time, on and off, for a long time...). This afternoon, it was enough of a thing that I came home a bit after 3:00 to take (another) COVID test. Negative. Again. Thank God.

But it was also nice to get home early, open the windows and back door for the girls so they could enjoy this lovely weather, and just work from here. I got so much done today (mostly before coming home), but I am also reminding myself that I can be productive at home. And it's nice to come home with some pep still in my step, not mentally exhausted. 

Let's see if I can make myself let this happen more...

Last home game...

22 February 2023: Last home game of the women's basketball season today. They didn't win, but it is very clear how much they have grown this season. They will all be back next year, so I am already excited about that. 

Cooking time...

21 February 2023: I have so much to do over the next month or so. It's overwhelming. And I felt kind of run down and really tired all day. But I knew I had to get home and get some cooking and baking done for a "meal train" meal that I volunteered to deliver tomorrow. I am a slow cook, so it took me a long time to get everything done, but that ninety minutes or so of work, listening to some podcasts, took me out of my own head for a good stretch of time. So that part? Kind of nice!

Nobel Prizes

20 February 2023: Got to listen to the annual tradition of the President's Lecture Series on the recent Nobel Prizes. It's always wonderful to hear my colleagues talk about their areas of expertise and realize once again how lucky our campus is to have them on board. 

"Little Rock"

19 Feburary 2023: Hoping to call up some grad-school-intense-writing-session vibes, I am listening to my  Collin Raye albums on shuffle. In the old days, I'd put six of his CDs in the changer and dive into hours and hours of writing. But it's been years (I think?) since I've done this, so I decided to attempt a digital version. 

Anyway, just found myself tearing up at "Little Rock," a song that has always gotten to me but hits differently ever since I lost my brother to addiction. 

The line that gets me every time? "Sorry that I cried when I talked to you last night...," which just quietly crashes into what has come before and then leads to the first chorus. 

But every line of it works so well. The specificity of the references ("selling VCRs in Arkansas at a Walmart"), and devastating other stories lurking in the lyrics ("Jesus would forgive, but a daddy don't forget") hint at the whole world of pain before the song's opening. The song's build--classic country ballad stuff--feels so earned. So, too, does the muted shakey determination of its ending. How will things turn out for this speaker? Who knows? He thinks he's on a roll "here in Little Rock" and that he's "solid as a stone," but is he? It hangs there. 

"Sorry that I cried when I talked to you last night." It's just so much; an apology, a plea, a hand reaching out. Shew. 

And there goes 15 minutes of writing, but not on my book. Oh well. Back to work I go. The mix has shuffled on to another song. Sorry that I cried when I was supposed to be writing. 

Kinky Boots

18 February 2023: For Christmas, Tim and Kevin got tickets for all of us (them, me, Hannah, and Cory) to see Kinky Boots at the Olney Theater. We had lunch first, which was amazing (the food and the company). The show was great, too. Carpooled with the kids and treated them to some Dairy Queen treats when we got back, which made it and end-to-end perfect time. 

Inspired...and worried...

17 February 2023: Thinking this evening about how many people work so hard every day to support the university and our students, particularly after being in the room when the person I was meeting with got a call about a student being discovered in a state of distress. (Keeping it vague.) The support team was already springing into action, but I kept thinking how tired this woman must be. But she keeps working, like so many others do. It's amazing and inspiring. At the same time, I wonder how long it is sustainable without more support.  

"If I Can't Have You"

 16 February 2023: On another busy, meeting-filled, "big to-do list," day, this song had me doing some chair-dancing. Always grateful for that. 

Decompression time...

15 February 2023: No matter how busy, long, and overwhelming a day is, getting over to watch a basketball game makes me happier and soothes me. And the women really seem to be playing better the past few games, even if they aren't racking up wins. 

Writing partner...

14 February 2023: A student came to see me to talk about her ENGL 301 Annotated Bibliography. There were long stretches of time when she just worked on her own, quietly revising based on what we had just discussed. During one stretch, I turned my attention to a paragraph I had been trying (unsuccessfully) to draft in the time before she showed up. And darn it if I didn't have a mini-breakthrough. I told her as much and said it reminded me of dissertation writing dates at Panera with my grad school friends. Maybe I need to find a way to make some version of that come back for me.

If you gotta do a Monday...

13 February 2023: If you gotta do a Monday, one like I got to do today works. Took a long walk, taught a couple of classes, got a bit of book work done, attended a fun Sigma Tau Delta event, gave Hannah a birthday present, and had Galentine's Day dinner at IHOP with Amy. Now home with my girls and watching some TV. Tired as heck, but in a pretty good way. 

I Capture the Castle

12 February 2023: “When I read a book, I put in all the imagination I can, so that it is almost like writing a book as well as reading it - or rather, it is like living it.” --Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

So glad to have finally read this book, which I have heard so many praise over the years. And excited to talk about it with my little book club in about ten minutes. Not a bad way to spend a chilly, rainy Sunday night. 

Counter offender...

11 February 2023: Well, it took her awhile, but today Jo started jumping on the kitchen counters, which isn't great. One thing I realized the day she arrived: it has been so long since I've had a (non-semi-feral) kitten in the house that I am out of practice and keep bring surprised by what she gets into. And, as Jane suggested, maybe it's not best to have your kitten's name rhyme with "no." Ha. 

Good thing she's super-cute and loving and just a joy bomb running through this place. And seeing her play with Veronica? It fills my heart with such happiness. 

Facebook tells me this was three years ago today. It's a memory emblazoned in my mind. Miss my boy so much, but grateful for new life in the house.

Big sister's day...

10 February 2023: Today is my sister Tara's birthday and without a doubt, the nicest part of the day was talking with her on the phone when I took my walk (delayed until the afternoon because of a morning meeting). She's pretty amazing and it's just nice to remember that and say it. 

A keg of what?

 9 February 2023: 

Weddings sure have changed since 1828. (From Lydia Moland's new book, Lydia Maria Child: A Radical American Life.)

First win!

8 February 2023: It's been a long and rough road this rebuilding season for the women's basketball team, but they got their first win today in a really exciting game. So glad I got to see it!

"Child's unfinished revolution..."

7 February 2023: "Child's long career of activism continues to resonate with meaning as new groups come forward to carry on the struggle for a just world. Her legacy embodies the best of the American heritage. It reminds us that a national history tarnished by Indian genocide, black slavery, and white supremacy has also been contested by progressive Americans of all races, committed to translating the inspiring words of the Declaration of Independence into practice. Child's heroic fidelity to the vision of a multiracial, egalitarian America and her tenacity in the face of obstacles and defeats challenge her successors to emulate her example. We who inherit Child's unfinished revolution can take courage from the watchword that encapsulates her indomitable idealism: 'Men's highest aspirations are prophecies'" (Karcher 614).

I spent some time today reading for my entry on Lydia Maria Child, a complicated and complex woman who I feel great admiration for. This passage--the closing paragraph of Carolyn L. Karcher's terrific book--seems appropriate tonight, as the State of the Union approaches. I won't be watching; news coverage after will be enough, but Karcher's book makes it clear that we if we had been listening to Child (like Alcott), we'd be in a better place as a country.

Work Cited 

Karcher, Carolyn L. The First Woman in the Republic: A Cultural Biography of Lydia Maria Child, Duke UP, 1994. 

"I've been thinking about it non-stop since you said it..."

6 February 2023: The post's title comes from one of my ENGL 301 students when we were talking about Lacan and psychoanalytic literary theory (particularly the "mirror stage") in class today. It's so fun to see their minds get absorbed in this stuff. And this is a particularly fun and enaged group of students. Best part of the day!

"Here We Go Again"

5 February 2023: Late Sunday afternoon vibes, courtesy of Mark and Sarah Talk about Songs. 

Skinamarink

4 February 2023: 

[Catch-up post]

Kind of a perfect evening: ordered Thai food, laughed a lot, and watched Skinamarink (fun and creepy but also maybe 20ish minutes too long?) with Amy, Hannh, and Cory at the kids' house. 

Conferences...

3 Feburary 2023: Spent a lot of today (and yesterday) holding conferences with my ENGL 301 students to go over the first entries from their Annotated Bibliographies. (This is a big assignment in the course.) They went pretty well and I loved being able to tell them they were off to great starts (even the ones who needed the most help are--I think?--making good progress). It's also always a delight to tell them they should be proud of what they've done so far. And the parts they struggle with? It's cool to get to tell them that those are almost always the hard parts so the struggle makes sense. 

"Give Me This"

2 Feburary 2023: It's really wonderful to be stopped in your tracks by a poem early in the day. This one, by Adam Limón, did it. 

"No nose biting!"

1 February 2023: File this post's title under "things I have to say to my kitten that I never had to say to my other cats." The nose she is biting, I should point out, is mine. 

She's still such a blast, but I am feeling guilty because a lot of long days at work have kept me away from home, including nearly 14 hours the past two days. 

I need to keep this from happening too much. It sounds silly, but she's little and time flies and 14-hour days are trash anyway. And Veronica doesn't like them, either, even if she won't show it.