"in the midst of human stories, God reveals himself"

30 June 2026: Quite moved by Pope Leo's comments here.

"Leo also explained that writing, as a human exercise, ultimately leads to God.

'When we delve into the very depths of our humanity, we are not far from God; for there, in the midst of very human stories, God reveals himself,' Leo said."

That's it, right? That's the beauty and power and the point of it all. 

"Hot Pants Rain Dance"

29 June 2026: Sitting here now watching the Bob's Burgers episode "Paraders of the Lost Float" This one never jumped out at me before, but tonight I am loving how it's ultimately about embracing joy and fun when it comes to us. "Hot Pants Rain Dance" epitomizes this vibe, of course--a vibe that I welcome this evening. 

Strange, silly, but ultimately true that this show has gotten me through so much hard stuff. 

"Nature is not yours until you are more hers"

28 June 2026: Still working my way through Laura Dassow Walls's biography of Thoreau. The section on Margaret Fuller's death provides moving details that I didn't know before (some of them disturbing). Walls concludes that section with an idea that really struck me: 

"Once again harrowed by tragedy, Thoreau turned not away from the things of nature, but towards them, voicing again his awe before the fundamental strangeness of materiality. Nature is not yours until you are more hers: that sympathy had been part of Fuller's legacy to him" (294).

Work Cited

Walls, Laura Dassow. Henry David Thoreau: A Life. The U of Chicago P, 2017.

"Boulder to Birmingham" (Live)

27 June 2026: On my drive back to WV today, this version of "Boulder to Birmingham," one I had never heard before, really moved me. And made me think of my dad.

Three nights of dinner...

26 June 2026: 

[Catch-up post]

Every night that I was in New York, Chris, Jen, and Aidan invited me to join them for dinner. Twice, they cooked. And on Friday night, they took me to "Food Truck Fridays" at a local park. 

(I think I type the next seven words all the time, but here it goes again...) So much is so hard right now, but I am blessed beyond measure that my brother and his family are sources of light and literal and figurative sustenance. 

In my rearview...

25 June 2026: 

[Catch-up post]

Someone was very good for her vet visit.

Her anthem...

24 June 2026: 

[Catch-up post]

It's very hard that all my mom wants is to go home and she can't accept that we can't just make that happen. It's very hard that she keeps saying, "I want to go home." It breaks your heart.

Every once in while, though, she reveals a sense of humor still there. "You want me to hoist up the John B sails?" I asked her. And she smiled just a bit.

(The next day, after a long period of silence, she said, "Hey, Heidi: guess where I want to go?" I realized she was being just a bit cheeky, so I answered her, "Hawaii?" And again, she smiled ever so slightly.)

Sunshine just in time...

23 June 2026: Taking it as a good sign that the rain stopped and the sun came out in just enough time that I could mow the lawn this afternoon. Had to get it done today or it would have had to wait until Sunday or Monday...and even those days might not have worked. In the grand scheme of things, that's not a crisis, but I do get fixated on stuff. Having one less thing to fixate on? I'll take it. 

So yeah: that sunshine was quite welcome.  

Fixed!

22 June 2026: Finally got a long-delayed home repair completed today, thanks to some well-prepared, compentent professionals. It's always so cool to interact with folks who are so very good at what they do and take real pleasure in doing things right. 

Porch reading...

21 June 2026: Didn't expect Father's Day to hit me the way it has; I'm okay, but it's...hard, especially because of everything going on with my mom. 

Earlier today, I fought off some weepiness by going outside to read on the porch. (Would be weird to sit on the porch in broad daylight and cry.)

Sitting there with my big old Thoreau bio, I realized that wasn't a bad tribute to my dad, who would take his books out to the deck to read, often with Sugie or Snow with him. My girls stayed inside, but one of them wasn't happy about it. 

Saturday phone call

20 June 2026: Grateful for a long-delayed phone conversation today. And to my brother, who facilitated it. 

Left it all on the field...

19 June 2026: Site visit is done. Proud of us and the work we've done. Left it all on the field, as they say. Now we wait. 

And, after I clean up the classroom, I am heading home to crash and try to relax this evening. 

Ready for tomorrow...

18 June 2026: Valerie and I set up a classroom for our site visit for a grant to support the SUWP. The room looks pretty good, considering it's hard to "show" a lot of what our NWP site does. I like this picture, though, based on an idea the third member of our team came up with last week: we asked the teachers in our current Summer Institute to respond to the prompt. They did great. I mean, present company excluded, teacher have great handwriting--but beyond that, their comments are golden. 

Boxcars!

17 June 2026: It's sometimes hard not to feel guilty about doing "fun" things these days, but man, I had a great time tonight at my first Boxcars' game of the season with Carrie and Amy. Perfect night for baseball (even if the home team couldn't pull off a win).

"Secret of Life"

16 June 2026: Listening to Faith Hill's 1998 album Faith while I get some work done this afternoon. This was a major soundtrack of my summer of '98, when I was doing Summer Scholars research at Roanoke. Anyway, there's a lot of gems on this one, including "Secret of Life," which always struck me as wise in its simplicity. 

Maybe my favorite lines?

"The secret of life is to try not to hurry,

But don't wait, don't wait..."

Love that tension in the ideas and the way she repeats that second "don't wait."

I find myself navigating that tension (internally) a lot. 

Anyway, kind of cool to return to this album 18 years later. And Faith is so cute in this era! (She's always beautiful, but this late 90's cute is really something.)

Disclosure Day

15 June 2026: I really enjoyed Disclosure Day. A lot of fun and filled with hope and light. I'll take all the hope and light the world offers these days.

Knicks, Revolution, and Lil Soups...

14 June 2026: Checking in with the girls?

Jo had Knicks Fever last night, just like me.

Veronica, earlier this afternoon, about five minutes after I freed her from the office, where I had trapped her to apply Revolution. (Yes, another "Revolution on Cats" day.) From freak-out mode to staring at me from the coffee table in five minutes...

Not pictured, the Lil Soups they will both enjoy later this evening, a belated birthday treat for BabyCat.

Summer Institute 2026 and Christian's Birthday

13 June 2026:

Two things make today special. 

First, it's Christian's birthday. Every year, I am more grateful for how amazing he is. 

Second, we had the in-person portion of our Summer Institute today. Like every year, it's simply inspring to be surrounded by talented teachers who give so much.

Respites...

12 June 2026: A quietly dark day here, with a lot of uncertainty up in New York. It was also a busy day. Today that combination felt overwhelming at times--so much to do and all so soon. 

But other moments were respites: a phone call with a friend, a drink (mocktail for me) and some conversation with a couple of friends. So grateful for those moments that let me catch my breath. 

"Cracklin' Rosie"

11 June 2026: Since it popped up in an episode of Deadloch, "Cracklin' Rosie" has been on my mind. It's a great little song, but it also makes me think of my mom, who really loves Neil Diamond.

"I can't believe this. They f****** forgot my birthday..."

10 June 2026: After our regular post-Common-Reading-meeting-lunch, Hannah and I were walking back to her office. She mentioned something about the day's date and I stopped and gasped. 

"I forgot BabyCat's birthday!" (On Monday...)

Hannah, who is always the best, a) didn't call me out for being ridiculous, b) didn't miss miss a beat, telling me, "I am sure she understands. She knows you've been going through it."

BabyCat, of course, is the cat who is least likely to understand, but I'll see if I can make it up to her. I'll give her some extra treats tonight and get her a Lil Soup over the weekend. And she can freely imagine her own little movie, Eleven Candles. 

In the meantime, here's a picture from mid-May that illustrates just how gorgeous she remains at age 11. 

Good luck, little one!

9 June 2026: This little baby was on my back patio when I started mowing the lawn today. Watched me just about every time I passed her. 

Worried, worried, worried that she was sick or injured or abandoned the whole time.

Put the mower away, swept the driveway and sidewalks, and then checked again. She was gone. 

Watering watcher...

8 June 2026: Caught someone watching me water the flowers this morning. 

Culture Gabfest

7 June 2026: I always wondered how I'd feel when the Culture Gabfest called it quits--which I could kind of sense coming?--but to have the news come right now? Well, I literally cried. 

So grateful for eighteen years (!!!) of top-notch entertainment. 

Home...

 6 June 2026: 

[Catch-up post...last one...]

Drove through blinding downpours in the homestretch, but made it. Grateful always to have this place to come home to. 

The Anna Karenina principle proven (again) in a single day

5 June 2026: 

[Catch-up post]

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

By the end of Friday, I couldn't get these lines out of my head. 

[Hospital] Room with a View

4 June 2026: 

[Catch-up post]

When I first noticed the view from my mom's hospital room, I almost gasped. 

An image of such peace and beauty from a perch that is anything but. 

(I was born here in this hospital, but can't remember being there since.)

A minor miracle...

3 June 2026: 

[Gotta get through a series of "catch-up" posts...]

This is a silly picture, but an less than an hour before it was taken, I was sobbing because I saw that this sweet dog would be okay. So much is awful, but the months-long dread and despair that I felt around all things Snow-related has lifted.

Internal timeline cleanse...

2 June 2026: So much on my mind, but it does my heart and head good to catch these glimpses of my girls, peacefully oblivious. 

"Salt Then Sour Than Sweet"

1 June 2026: Very, very hard days here. Finding comfort once again in Sara Bareilles, whose music always comes to me at just the right times. (That this is also a Brandi Carlile collaboration is a lovely bonus.)