Humming the old hymn...

18 July 2025: Praying for a friend tonight whose mother is facing a medical challenge. Just another situation when all you can do is try to be there for your friend and support her and pray, pray, pray. Trying to remind myself of the strange comfort being able to "take it to the Lord in prayer." 

3:00 bells...

18 April 2025: It's been a strange, long, and at times very hard week (filled, too, with moments of joy and satisfaction). 

Sitting here working with a student this afternoon, I noticed a church bell that kept ringing and ringing. Then I realized it was 3:00, the time of Jesus's death in the Bible. The bells mark that profoundly sacred moment.

The realization--the holy interruption--threw me off for a moment, but in a blessed way. The pain of Good Friday points to the light and healing of Easter. But we must stop, acknowledge, and some how gesture at imagining that pain and loss. The bells made me do that and continue to do so right now, hours after they stopped. 

"Love (III)"

9 January 2024: Found myself tearing up listening to a reading of George Herbert's "Love (III)" this morning. I've been such a fan of Herbert ever since I first read him, but I don't think I've thought about this poem in years. But this morning, as I drove to an appointment, filled with anxiety and so tired already, it moved me more profoundly than ever before. "You must sit," God tells us. He loves us. That is enough.

(Grateful for the magnificant In Our Time podcast for this moment of grace.)

"Do not be afraid"

17 December 2024: "And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.'" Luke 2: 8-12.

Thinking this afternoon about the words of the angel: comfort and joy delivered amidst fear and awe to men who must have felt so overwhelmed: "Do not be afraid."

Amen. 

Light at the end of the day...

11 November 2024: Today was rough. Long and complicated and stressful. A lot of my students are in bad places. At one point, I kind of broke down, overwhelmed and feeling worried about them. 

Right as I was packing up to go home at about 6:30, a former student who I am so fond of appeared in my office door. He's been dealing with a very serious cancer diagnosis for years. He told me had just gotten some results: his first "cancer free" scan. As it all sunk in, I hugged him twice, overcome with the unexpected good news. My eyes filled with tears again. I thanked him again and again for giving me this lovely news.

Everything is still really hard and bad, but once again, the Lord sends some joy and light. Walking to my car, I looked up and said, "Thank you." 

John 14:27

13 July 2024: "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." 

Troubled heart tonight as dark news plays across the TV, but praying, praying, praying for peace.

Women Talking

5 November 2023: “Doubt and uncertainty and questioning are inextricably bound together with faith.” --Miriam Toews, Women Talking

This morning, I pulled into my driveway at just the moment that the audiobook of this tremendous novel concluded--with a chorus of women singing "Just a Closer Walk With Thee." Sat there in my car, listening as tears filled my eyes. This one will stay with me for a long time. 

1402 good things...

25 October 2023: 1402 good things...

1400 straight days of 10K+ steps, which really is something. 

1 former student/current Shepherd employee who I am very fond of, telling me she prayed for me last night. I almost wept right there in the hallway.

1 current student who used the phrase "thunderstorms and fireflies" in place of "apples and oranges" and I just thought that was the most wonderful thing. "That's your Appalachain showing, my friend!" I told him.

"Just because" flowers...

27 September 2023: Moved practically to tears this morning when two students brought by these flowers and this card--just because. Can't say how much it means to me and how much I needed it (more than I realized). 

The Lord provides...

Mrs. Morgan

7 June 2023: Attended a funeral service for a friend/colleague's mom today and found myself quietly overwhelmed emotionally: a life well-lived, so much love, so many loved ones, and a path shaped by love and faith. 

"he who watches over you will not slumber..."

3 May 2023: 

"I lift up my eyes to the mountains— where does my help come from?

My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip— he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you— the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm— he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." -Psalm 121

Lifting up a loved one in prayer, asking God to take care of her and help her find her way.

"Here I Am, Lord"

25 April 2023: Working on the department newsletter in my office, with Youtube just playing music in the background. This song came up and I found myself singing along and getting a bit teary. This song has always meant so much to me, and to hear it again in this moment gave my soul a bit of restoration. The sweet comfort and assurance that we are seen, called, lead, and loved--and called upon to love others. 

"Thank you for everything..."

13 March 2023: I found myself saying the words in this post's title out loud as I pulled into a parking spot today. I was thinking about--of all things--how many great podcast episodes I had to listen to and the specific ones I'd play on my walk. I just felt grateful for little things like that: people talking about ideas, art, and culture. 

As soon as I said it, I was struck by how seemingly silly it was to thank God for something like that, but I also realized the "everything" was a gesture outward--to all the wonderful parts of this life, all the gifts God gives us (and how they help us through the hard times). The moment stretched into more moments, and this gratitude has been on my mind all day. 

Actually feeling a bit melancholy today--cloudy weather, work stress, a long list of work to do on this "Spring Break," and a this lingering illness are all bringing me down. But having this gratitude running alongside all that is itself such a gift. 

"As the deer pants for streams of water, / so my soul pants for you, my God..."

28 January 2023: 

"Why, my soul, are you downcast?

    Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

    for I will yet praise him,

    my Savior and my God" (Psalm 42:5)

Attended a funeral mass for a friend/colleague's mother today and found the service quite moving, particularly being reminded of the Psalm above, which was sang as a response (in slightly different form). I found myself crying for my friend as he deals with this loss. I found myself thinking about all the people I love and care about who are in pain or scared or sick or are dealing with similar losses. And these words brought comfort.  

So long, 2022...

31 December 2022: Looking forward and looking back, with Big Thoughts abounding, I am thinking about these words tonight:

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." --Philippians 4:4-7

(Also: seven years of at least one post per day here--admittedly some of them "catch-up posts." Not sure what kind of record I am assembling here, but that's a pretty good streak.)

Job's "outraged honesty"

14 March 2022: "In the face of all that appears to be in front of the world today, amid all the calamities we are hurtling toward or already enduring, I’ve found no choice but to share Job’s outraged honesty. Job provides a framework for why it’s worth it to keep going." --Abraham Riesman, in this terrific essay about the book of Job

I read Riesman's essay last night and I think it colored both my dreams and my mindset today. As I continue to think about loss, grief, anger, death, injustice--as we have no choice but to do so--there is something rich to be found digging into what he says here. 

"But maybe that's where God meets us..."

7 February 2022: "But maybe that's where God meets us, she thinks, in that broken, uncertain place." --writer Emma Green, talking about Rebecca Schrader and her evolving thoughts on faith, life, and the abortion debate, in this powerful This American Life segment.

Listened to Rebecca's story on my walk this morning and found it surprising and moving. Green does a lovely job treating everyone involved with humanity and compassion. And this move at the end--quoted above--is profound and profoundly important as we move through what feels like a very broken and uncertain place. 

Anticipating Spring

 8 March 2021: Just the other day, I noticed these flowers working their way up on a patch of garden near my front door. A literal and metaphorical sign of better times, I think.

I have never anticipated a spring like this one. In "normal" times, it's my favorite season. This year, the promises of better weather, more time outside, this vaccine in my veins, and so many signs of hope out there fill me with a quiet thrill. (Less and less "quiet" each moment, I suppose.)

The CDC's new guidelines for vaccinated people, released just today, almost made me weep. I texted Erin, saying "we can hang out without masks and distancing!" I texted Hannah that, in a few weeks, we can hang out with an (unvaccinated) Cory. Even before today's guidelines, I was elated over getting to hang out with just a (fully vaccinated) Hannah. 

Come on, spring! Come on, hope!

Christmas Eve, 2020

24 December 2020: "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:1-5

Feeling so much today. Finding comfort in the words above. 

"because he cares for you..."

6 November 2020: "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7.

Will keep it vague, but praying tonight for a loved one. Today was non-stop, affairs local and national, personal and professional, hitting all of the emotions, sometimes at the same time. But these words from 1 Peter remind me of who is in charge and there to lift us up.