So long, 2021...

31 December 2021: Hard to think of a better encapsulation of New Year's Eve 2021 than this moment--home alone, with some take-out, waiting for Jeopardy! to start, and getting mildly excited because Amazon just delivered my new KN95 masks. 

Two years in a row spending NYE this way. Missing celebrations of years' past. Feeling sad and grim and resigned, but also hopeful for what 2022 might bring. 

Jane-Christmas

30 December 2021: Got together with Jane today to do the whole present thing. We just basically hung out at her place, got some lunch delivered, took a walk, and just chilled. It was wonderful. 

"Safe Place to Land"

29 December 2021: 

"The ocean is wild and over your head

And the boat beneath you is sinking

Don't need room for your bags, hope is all that you have

So say the Lord's Prayer twice, hold your babies tight

Surely someone will reach out a hand

And show you a safe place to land"

This song came on Pandora today and it hit me so hard. I've heard it so many times before, but something about this specific moment--where I (and we) are right now--just got to me. 

(I am holding off on posting about the Sara Bareilles song that has been my official pandemic anthem until we are really on the other side of this. But when I decided to wait, I don't think I ever dreamed we'd need over two years to get to that point. Something to look forward to, I guess?) 

Paint job

28 December 2021: Before and after of my bedroom, which Hannah helped me paint today.

 

Look: painting a room is never my idea of a super-fun way to spend a day. But with Hannah, who makes everything fun? It was great. 

(For the record, she also helped me pick the color, which is perfect and really makes the new furniture look even better.)

Two years and three days...

27 December 2021: Today marks 733 days for my 10,000 step streak or two years and three days. Yes: it would have made more sense to use the exact two year mark for a blog post, but that was Christmas and the holiday seemed a bit more important. When I got some of my steps in on this cold, rainy, and sometimes snowy/sleety day, I felt the twinge of winter threatening to end the streak sometime soon. If it happens, it happens, but for now, it goes on. 

Home again...

26 December 2021: After a breakfast of my mom's French toast (which is so simple but inexplicably good), I had a pretty great drive back from NY today: pretty weather, very little traffic, a car packed with presents from folks I love, and a good phone conversation with Vogel. 

When I got home, I was greeted by an almost-desperately-happy-to-see-me Wesley (BabyCat also lives here), a really cool and creative gift left by Anna (who visited the cats yesterday), and a huge bag of cookies left by two former students. 

Lots of time for long stretches of thinking today, including while driving, unpacking, and taking a walk this evening. Looking at everything I've noted above, you might guess what I thought about: how blessed I am. 

Christmas 2021

25 December 2021: Christmas morning with Erin, Eric, the girls, and my parents was lovely. After Erin and her crew left, it was a quiet day with the folks capped off with the new-ish holiday tradition I have foisted on them of watching the Call the Midwife holiday special.

Christmas Eve

24 December 2021: It was loud and chaotic and over-the-top, but I love these folks so much and am grateful to have been able to spend Christmas Eve with them (and the not-pictured parents and Jennifer) once again.

MARB

23 December 2021: Making some progress--slow and steady--on the entry on Maria Amparo Ruiz de Burton for my book. She is a fascinating and complicated figure. I knew very little--almost nothing--about her before starting this project, but she strikes me as incredibly human, flaws and all.  I am already thinking about how to get some sense of that into my entry, which is limited by space. 

Having the time to read about her and do this thinking? It feels pretty good. My goal is to have this entry outlined and maybe even drafted by the opening of the semester. We'll see.  

[My post's title comes from the acronym Rosaura Sánchez and Beatrice Pita use for her in their edited collection of her letters. They called it an "inelegant" moniker, but it makes sense and is silly enough to make me smile.]

"Lines for Winter"

22 December 2021:

"...Tell yourself

as it gets cold and gray falls from the air

that you will go on

walking, hearing

the same tune no matter where

you find yourself—" --Mark Strand, "Lines for Winter"

Pushing on through...

21 December 2021: Still working on push, push, pushing the uneasiness away, but today has been better than yesterday. Got my haircut, ran a couple errands, got some work done. Not as much work as I would have wanted, but some. Going to go a bit easy on myself tonight and maybe watch a movie on Netflix.

Creeping back in...

20 December 2021: My goodness, the combination of regular holiday anxiety, the weird inter-semester time, and (most importantly) Omicron has my anxiety creeping back in so hard. Trying to stay busy, stay cozy, and stay away from too much Twitter and news. 

Also glad to have lots of books on my mind today: two novels by Maria Amparo Ruiz de Burton (working on my entry about her for my book), A Piece of the World, which I just finished yesterday (possible Common Reading selection), and Pregnant Girl, which I just started (another possible Common Reading selection). 

He's coming to town...

19 December 2021: Santa and Mrs. Claus just drove by on the back of a fire truck and 44-year-old me jumped up, threw open the bedroom window, and waved so hard...and I also might cry? Holiday 2021 emotions are wild, y'all.

Spiderman: No Way Home

18 December 2021: What a fun movie this is! Spiderman has always been my favorite superhero. I don't really care about the others, but a scrappy kid from NY who believes that "with great power comes great responsibility" and who just always feels more grounded (not literally, ha) and real? That works for me. And this movie--for so many reasons--really gives a person who loves Spiderman exactly what they want. 

Every once in a while, I think I should add something to these entries for the sake of a "historical" record of sorts--but less grandiose that that sounds. So here's the thing I am feeling compelled to note: with COVID on the verge of surging everyone again thanks to Omicron, it feels like we are on the verge of something really bleak and that this might be the last time I am willing to go into a semi-crowded theater for a while. Kept my mask on almost the whole time, but still... 

Lord, I miss the old world so much sometimes. And the fact is, if I posted every time I felt that way over these past 19 months, that's all I would post about. It's still just too big and too much. That sadness, fear, and despair brought on by this plague--it's always right there. So we push on and, for the most part, I post about the stuff that sustains us--like fun movies and Spiderman. 

Little reunion

17 December 2021:

[Catch-up post]

Got together last night with some friends--including some I haven't seen in years--to remember our friend, Krista, who recently passed away. The best part of the night was just crying with laughter remembering how funny she was. That is tinged with pain, of course, but the bright moments still bring comfort.

New position...

16 December 2021: Signed some papers today to be Shepherd's first ever Assistant Dean of Interdisciplinary and Integrative Studies. Yay and yikes!

bell hooks

15 December 2021: "The academy is not paradise. But learning is a place where paradise can be created. The classroom, with all its limitations, remains a location of possibility. In that field of possibility we have the opportunity to labor for freedom…to transgress." --bell hooks

Rest in peace to a truly transformative thinker, writer, and teacher. 

Joe Pera Talks With You, Season 3

14 December 2021: I know I just blogged about Joe Pera Talks With You less than a month ago, but I watched the Season 3 finale last night and it's been on my mind ever since. It is such an extraordinary show and the conclusion--Joe sitting in his chair, Sarah walking through the land he bought, Joe's final expression--just got to me in so many ways. What a gift of a show, especially for these quieter and darker winter evenings. 

Secret meeting...

13 December 2021: Got home from guest-hosting trivia to find these two having a secret meeting. I texted the pic to Hannah and said they were plotting, Succession-style. We decided BabyCat has Shiv vibes while Wes is a Connor. Bing would have been a Roman. 

I do think Veronica is trying to figure out Wes's diminished vision. (Look here how she is looking at me, but he isn't.) She can sneak up on him--which makes him hiss and swat at her. I think it also confuses her (and him). Anyway, it's interesting, if a bit sad, to watch her work through it. 

Low-key lovely...

12 December 2021: Took a walk and did a couple of hours of work this morning. Then spent the rest of the day doing fun stuff with Amy: Christmas shopping in Shepherdstown, lunch at an Indian place in Hagerstown, more Christmas shopping, and seeing Encanto. Made it home by just before 6:00, watched some Bob's Burgers Christmas episodes, filled out my Christmas cards, got some packages ready for the mail, and watched the last episode of Succession. Kind of a low-key lovely day.

I am feeling an itch, though, to get some serious work done tomorrow. No meetings or need to be on campus tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.

Watch party...

11 December 2021: Cheered on the Rams at an on-campus watch party as they played in the semi-finals in Michigan. They lost, but they had a great season. Can you tell we are a bit sad in this pic? Ha.

Fall 2021 Grading--DONE!

 10 December 2021: Just finished up. Still some little things to do, but officially, that's a wrap on my Fall 2021 teaching. Commence chair-dancing, hopefully followed by an early showing of West Side Story.

Ghostbusters

9 December 2021: Played a bit of hooky this evening, not getting everything on my list done in favor of seeing Ghostbusters. It's a fun little movie and I was surprised by how much nostalgia I carry with me from the original. 

It is funny to accuse myself of playing hooky, though, when I left campus at nearly 5:00 (9.5 hour day up there!) and when I am (temporarily) caught up on my grading. There is, as always, so much more work I could be doing, but every once in a while it's nice to remember this thing called Project Balance. 

Beginning to feel a bit like Christmas...

8 December 2021: Long and somewhat busy day with a lovely ending. Got some dinner with Amy (Indian food in Martinsburg) and did a bit of Christmas shopping. The holidays are really sneaking up on me this year, but tonight I felt that warm glow of it all. 

Did my best; we'll see...

7 December 2021: Completed the last step in pursuing a new professional opportunity today. Now there's nothing to do but wait. I did my best and feel some peace about whatever happens next. 

Farewell dinner

6 December 2021: Some folks in our department got together for a good-bye dinner for our friend and colleague Eva, who is leaving us at the end of the semester. I don't think this has fully hit me yet, but I sure will miss her. Grateful that she won't be too far away and that we can keep in touch.

We find each other...

5 December 2021: Recently realized that at nearly 18, this sweet boy has lost most of his sight. I think I could see little signs for a while now (not making eye contact, slipping or missing a jump every once in a while, knocking into a toy on the floor while walking), but it all came together in my head over the past few days. 

He's still happy and perfect, though, and knows how to find his favorite places, including right here on my arm. It's where he is right now, having jumped back up on and off throughout the day. 

Some moments, the realization makes me weep a bit, a sign that his days are winding down. Moreover, he used to focus in with such precision on whatever he was watching, like his favorite little toys before I tossed them. And though I know it is silly, it makes me sad that he can't see them or me.

But most of the time, I just grateful that he adjusted to his new reality with me even noticing and that he remains comfortable and happy. And I am profoundly grateful that he's still here with me and we can find each other. What a gift.  

A very good one...

4 December 2021: Today has been a very good day. Started with a bit of grading this morning, culminating in finishing the ENGL 307 class's Major Projects. Then Amy and I went to the Shepherdstown Christmas Parade, back after a year off thanks to COVID. After that, we grabbed some lunch from Maria's and watched the football team win their playoff game via live-stream. From there, we worked on revising an article we're publishing. Off to the women's b-ball game after that (another win), then back home to finish the article and send it off.

A whole bunch of my favorite kinds of things (yes, including work) makes for a good Saturday. 

PB&J

3 December 2021: Whirlwind of a day that ended with the Sigma Tau Delta holiday party, this year held on campus. (Didn't feel quite right to have folks over given the pandemic--not enough space.) 

Earlier in the day, I also got to work a shift at PB&J Day with some of my favorite people.

Granted...

2 December 2021: A whirlwind day that included meetings, lunch with my parents, and the reception for newly tenured faculty. It was a bit overwhelming, to tell the truth, but some of it sure was nice. 

Something very exciting: I got word that the grant I wrote with a couple of colleagues was awarded: $37K for water bottle filling stations on campus! First big grant I've tried, so I think I ready to try another. 

Light show

1 December 2021: I put up all the Christmas decorations--including the lights outside--on Sunday. It was a busy day overall, but I pushed myself to get it done, saying it would feel good to just have it done. And sure enough, each night this week, when I drive up to my house at the end of an 11+ hour day on campus, I feel this tiny shock of surprise and delight when I see the Christmas lights are on.*

*Thank you, timer device!