Clueless

6 November 2026: Ended a super-long week with a super-long day. But the end of that day was an SUWP event where we screened Clueless and talked about it as an adaptation of Jane Austen's Emma. The movie is still a delight, though watching it through "2026 eyes" is really something.

Busy day tomorrow, too, but maybe Sunday will bring some rest. 

Shepherd Commons

5 November 2026: This evening, I got to be a part of the first "official" dinner in the new dining hall/athletic building. It's an impressive place...not quite ready to open yet, but it's close.

That's more than a wave...

4 November 2026: Hard to believe that I don't want to go to sleep on election night because I am so happy, not because I am devastated. 

Eyes filling with tears again and again. 

Ordinary people from all over the country saying, "no more." 

Hearing that Susan Collins might have conceded might be what it takes for me to turn in. 

Voted

3 November 2026: If they gave out a medal for "fastest to lose their 'I Voted'" sticker, I would win. Every time. Today, I stuck mine on my shirt as I was to the car from the polling place. Drove to school. Got out of the car. It was gone.

Beyond that...we'll see what happens. Praying, praying, praying for change.

A whole mood...

2 November 2026: Feeling very connected to this guy, who showed up on my Bird Buddy today.

"The Better Part of Bravery"

1 November 2026:

"The only truth that can remain
The better part of bravery
Is in the letting go" 

Wildwood is astonishing. 

Halloween 2026

31 October 2026: Dug out some of Bing and Wes's old gear for Annie and Jo. (Annie was much more compliant and, as I write this, still has hers on.)

And then, what a delight to see Theo (and his family) a little later!

Investiture Day!

30 October 2026: Perfect day to celebrate President Wesson!

Providence...

29 October 2026: Attended a really lovely reception this evening for President Wesson on the eve of his official investiture ceremony. In some brief remarks, he shared that he believes in divine providence--that he's come to Shepherd as part of that plan. Boy, does that feel right. 

Late October sunset...

28 October 2026: 

Snapped this after a stop at Kohl's on my way to Wednesday trivia. Picture doesn't do it justice.

Take the motivation where you can get it...

27 October 2026: I am working on a writing project right now that is so boring and strange that I am not enjoying it at all. (It's a paid gig--and good money, so that's why I am doing it.) Right now, though, I am deciding to think about how good it will feel to have it done and using that as motivation. Let's hope it works!

"After Words"

26 October 2026: 

"I stood at the door and flashed
on a day the week before
he died, when I asked him
what was he living for, really, what
was left for him?, a question borne
of bone-deep exhaustion and fear." --Kelly Beard, "After Words"

There's been a kind of gloominess hovering over me these last few days. Lots of strange dreams and thoughts about my parents. Guilt and sadness on a loop. 

Nothing dire; I'm okay. It's just there.

Beard's poem, which is new to me, and the little "About This Poem" segment, found me welling up here in my office this morning. Grateful for this moment. 

Caroline

25 October 2026: "Carefully, Caroline closed the Bible around the splinter and slipped it back into the trunk. She felt the way she had felt when her brother died, and when her children were born. Open, so that everything reached straight through to her heart. Entirely conscious of the current of life coursing through her. Until this day, she hadn't noticed the concordant notes between the two. This was the feeling that came over her each time the veil between this world and the next was lifted" (Miller 329).

This morning, I finished Caroline, my book club's selection for this month. I am not quite sure what I think about it, but this passage felt true to me. It's how I've felt over this last year: kind of cracked open to life, death, pain, joy...like a live nerve. 

Work Cited

Miller, Sarah. Caroline: Little House, Revisited. William Morrow, 2018.

"The Zit"

24 October 2026: It's so strange to rewatch My So-Called Life at age 49, with both of my parents gone...

I rewatched "The Zit" this evening and moved all over again--though in ways that hit differently than in 1994. 

Anyway, here's Angela's closing monologue: "Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while. And admit the truth. That when you really looked closely, people are so strange, and so complicated, that they're actually... beautiful. Possibly even me." 

Volleyball!

23 October 2026: It's been such a busy semester that only tonight was I able to see my first Shepherd volleyball game. Felt great to see them back in action--and to see them win.

Fall Break Vibes...

22 October 2026: Won't be a work-free Fall Break, but I am grateful for a chance to catch up on some stuff when I can and just...be grateful in general. On my way home from getting my hair cut this morning, I actually said out loud, "You are having a good day." 

Also...cutest (and mostly hidden) attendee at the BOG Finance Committee meeting.

First place!

21 October 2026: After a long, non-stop day at work, I barely had time to feed the cats, change the litter boxes, and pull the trash can down to the curb before heading out to the casino for Wednesday night trivia. But I had been looking forward to it all day. 

Had a blast today even before we came in first. That's the first time it's happened since I've been playing with these folks. The win is just the cherry on top, though. 

Sometimes brave, sometimes not...

20 October 2026: An HVAC tech came by this morning to do the yearly inspection. Jo stood at the door when he arrived, went right up to him, and was generally pretty nosy for the first half of his visit here. Something must have changed, though--maybe too many loud noises?--because after I had been working at the table for awhile, I realized I had some company hiding on the chair next to me.

I love this about her; sometimes she's so audacious and sometimes she just a scaredy cat. And when she's the latter, I love that she finds comfort near me.

Dinner with Lee

19 October 2026: Way back in July, Valerie, Sadie, and I planned on taking Lee, our SUWP admin, out for a meal to thank her once her position ended (when the grant ended). Then...life intervened. 

Tonight, we finally made it happen. Felt really good to thank Lee and just catch up with her. 

(Sadie's daughter was sick so she had to miss...)

The Midlife Plot Twist...

18 October 2026: Listened to this episode of Depresh Mode on my walk this morning and once again found myself thinking how often John Moe's work makes me think and moves me.

"Frederick Douglass and the Freedom of Writing"

17 October 2026: Our SUWP/Common Reading "Pop-Up" event was a real success today. Still barely keeping my head above water, but it's really something to see kids happily write their own stories.

 

Founders Day

16 October 2026: Didn't take any pictures, but Shepherd celebrated Founders Day today for the first time in a few years. I was so busy today, but am glad I took the time to join the festivities. Find that joy when you can!

Gonna fly now!

15 October 2026: What's the nerd equivalent of running up the Rocky stairs?

Seriously, though: Slate's "Pears" game is a daily delight for me. 

"Run"

14 October 2026: Last weekend, I listened to Vampire Weekend's Contra from start to finish for the first time in years. Man, did these songs come right back to me. I've been humming tracks all week since then.

Busy Tuesday...

13 October 2026: Two meetings, one doctor appointment, one presentation/pitch, and fourteen essays graded. Not bad for one day. Even more encouraging is that part of me found the rush exciting and even energizing. 

The sunshine and warm temperatures certainly helped, even as the leaves covered the sidewalks on walk this morning. 

Doing all the appointments and meetings on (and around) campus before 2:00 and then getting home to grade and do other work from 2:00-6:00 also helped--a lot. 

I was sort of dreading this week, but so far, I am handling it and can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Sort of...

"Maybe we lived between hurting and healing..."

12 October 2026: On my walk this morning, I was thinking about sadness, anger, and guilt, emotions that I wrestle with these days in the aftermath of the last ten months. This morning, I found myself wondering about the relationship between the three. Does one drive the others? Does one feed the others? Do the roles switch? I feel like figuring that hierarchy out is important--but not to get past them. Just to understand and keep going. 

When I got back to my office, I looked over my notes for the Young Adult Lit class. We were finishing up Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, which included a discussion of the line that gives this post its title. 

Seeing that line in my notes seemed important. Trying to figure out if that's where I am...I think so? And that's a good space for thinking and thinking and thinking...

World Series...

11 October 2026: Got up really early to drive back from Pennsylvania in time to play with my Wednesday trivia friends on the "World Series." We came in 11th out of 50 teams (and were only 2 points away from 10th place). I had a blast, too. 

Favorite person/favorite place...

10 October 2026: Longwood Gardens might not be my favorite place, but it's high on my list, mostly because I am always there with Vogel. 

I thought springtime with the tulips was the best, but holy cow, the fall flowers are beautiful, too.

Cucina Massi

9 October 2026: Joined Tim, Michael, and Nina tonight in Frederick for dinner at the restaurant where Denis works. He's leaving both the restaurant and Shepherd next week we had never visited him there. It was a really lovely, fun, and bittersweet time. 

Almost 52...

8 October 2026: The days before October 9 are always bittersweet. Tomorrow would have been Ryan's 52 birthday. 

I wonder what he'd be like today if he were still here. 

I wonder what these last years would have been like if he had been with us. 

Mostly, I just miss him and find myself wondering, wondering, wondering...

Late afternoon sun...

7 October 2026: With fall kinda-sorta-maybe starting to settle in, it was nice to get home before 4:30 today, open the windows, and spend some time with the girls before heading back out for trivia at the casino.

 The days are getting shorter and the mornings colder. Sunlight and open windows are on their way out...things that aren't great for my mood. Feels good to seize the chances I still have.

Badges...

6 October 2026: If I knew how easy it was to document and process badges (micro-credentials) through NWP, I would have started doing it long ago. It's my own fault and I am kicking myself, but now I am ready to transition to a badge evangelist.

(Issued 24 "Teacher Consultant" badges this morning...)

Monday madness...

5 October 2026: Wild to have spent so much of Sunday getting caught up and even ahead on some projects and tasks and then spend today feeling very behind and overwhelmed. Managed to wrestle the to-do list down quite a bit, but man...what a tough stretch this will be. 

Alma mater bummer...

4 October 2026: Earlier this morning, I read through Roanoke's latest magazine. Man, did it bum me out. 

A story about a new three-year degree and a story about a human-looking AI agent as a "virtual engagement officer" focused on fundraising. 

What the heck are we doing? Chasing every shiny trend. Chipping away at what made the place great... 

Still grateful for what Roanoke did for me, but if "Rose" (the AI) asks me for money, I'm done. How can one ethically invest in a future so antithetical to the place I loved? 

Yankees and spiders...

3 October 2026: Watching the Yankees play in game one of the ALDS. As always, excited to see them in the playoffs and grateful no matter how far they go. 

An otherwise quiet day (in a good way). Cleaned the house, ran some errands, took a walk, watched some TV, and got some work done. 

Also got bit by a spider, who I caught in the act (and then squished). The squishing got in the way of any identification, but considering it's been a few hours, I suspect I am fine. I would make a Spiderman joke, but honestly, I am too tired for the great responsibility that comes with great power. 

The path ahead...

2 October 2026: I'm in the middle of another stretch of relatively non-stop weeks (though notably, this particular weekend is like an eye in the storm). It's a combination of work stuff and personal obligations; some good stuff/fun stuff and some not-so-fun. 

Regardless, part of me hates stretches like this so much, in part because I don't like life unfolding like something to be "got through." I know I do it to myself--the commitments and the way I frame them--and I need to change that. But until then, I just hate it.

I keep thinking of last year, with its own marathon through late October and early November. I felt so good when I was done with it and the very next day, my dad went into the hospital. It's a pattern that's repeated since then, too: I think I have made it out of a tough stretch and think, "okay, I can breath now" ...and the bottom falls out.

This morning on my walk, I was going over all of this in my head. Then I looked up and found myself moved by the simple beauty of this stretch of High Street that I've admired so many times before. 

I know it's cringey and cheesy, but I said to myself, "the path might be long, but there's also beauty." Gotta try to remember that. 

Hang it in the Louvre!

1 October 2026: My genius cat created a version of me in pasta and I won't accept any other answers. (I just helped her finish it a bit with some digital assistance.)

Like bison...

30 September 2026: According to Saeed Jones on the episode of Vibe Check that I listened to this morning, folks say that bison walk (or run) towards storms, somehow knowing that they'll get out faster when they do than if they run from them. "If you go toward the storm," he explained, "you can get to the other side instead of being chased by it."

Maybe, he and Zach suggested, this is how we should treat grief. 

Zach noted, "If you go through it, you'll get through it."

"Keep walking," Saeed added.

Walking up High Street, on a morning when my parents had been on my mind, I thought to myself, "Amen"...and kept going. 

Good morning, moon...

29 September 2026: The combination of feeling sick, stressed, and low-key sad, mixed with a super-long to-do list and another busy week, with (I am guessing?) a splash of the "hormone fun that comes at 49" means that I was wide awake and out of bed before 5:00 and on campus as the sun came up and the moon was still out.

I don't hate it. Like I said, I am wide awake and will get a much earlier start on my list. But I do wonder when the fatigue bill will come due...couldn't have gotten much more than 4 hours sleep last night.

Back at Bender's

28 September 2026: This cold is still giving me a hard time and it's another busy week with a to-do list that isn't getting any shorter. So...I wasn't thrilled about substitute hosting at Bender's tonight. 

But, just like every time, those friendly folks make it a good time. I'm tired, but I had fun.

Done with Rednecks...

27 September 2026: I finished Rednecks this morning, just in time for my book club's discussion tonight. I found it a compelling read. I wanted more about and more time with these characters, but that's not a criticism. Brown does a good job making some of them really pop without a lot of time on the stage. 

He can also write some sentences that stop you in your tracks. Here's a couple about a "touched" miner/explosive expert called Boom, setting up a bomb for a bridge: "The old dynamiter spread his hands across the broad flap of the mailbag and looked to the sky over the bridge, as if envisioning a work of art. 'High as heaven, baby. Gonna tickle the angel's feet'" (254).

Work Cited

Brown, Taylor. Rednecks. St. Martin's, 2024.

On to the World Series!

26 September 2026: After a rough night, I felt well enough today to join my Wednesday night trivia friends for the semi-final round of this season's tournament. And darn it if we didn't come in second again and qualify for the World Series in two weeks. 

So much fun. Playing with them is the unqualified thing that has made me happy lately.

Head cold...

25 September 2026: Well, I didn't factor a head cold into my weekend plans, but here it is. Ugh. So much to do. Not just work, but also some fun stuff that I was/am looking forward to. 

Decided to skip the volleyball game (the first I would have caught this season) because I am sure I am contagious (and I feel lousy). 

I've been trying to grade the first annotated bibliography in my stack since about 4:00. It's hard to focus. 

I am fine; just bummed. Here's hoping tomorrow is better.

A reunion for Jo...

24 September 2026: At the vet today for Jo and Veronica's annual visit, the tech asked me, "Can I ask you a weird question?" Since she was looking Jo, I was ready to hear, "How did she lose her eye?" But nope! 

"Did you get her from Briggs?"

Turns out, she was the adoption coordinator when I got Jo. I thought she looked familiar, but figured it was just from her working at the vet. 

She said she remembered my name and, of course, Jo (and remembered her name was Hunny). 

I mean, who could forget Jo? 

WISH Reception

23 September 2026: Today was a very long day in the middle of a very long week. 

But the Shepherd Writing Project got to celebrate our WISH grant tonight and it was pretty darn awesome. 

(Might update this post later when I see the pictures they took at the event.)

"Hold On"

22 September 2026: 

"It's the storm not you that's bound to blow away..."

Listened to The Secret Garden's original cast recording today while grading ENGL 101 essays. I've always been able to get a lot of work done (usually big writing projects) while listening to this album.

Found this track on my mind the rest of the day. Not a bad message for less-than-easy times.

Add that dinge...

21 September 2026: "They paid to add dinge to this letter!" --a student in my ENGL 101 class, sharing his observations of a charity mailing I gave them to use to practice rhetorical analysis. He was so tickled by the idea of making something look dirty to motivate folks to make a donation. 

(This was a fun activity--one that I got from one of our adjuncts and that I've been meaning to try for ages.)

Not quite two months...

20 September 2026: Yesterday, Hannah asked me how long Annie had been in WV. I was surprised that I struggled to come up with an answer. Everything from June on is such a blur. 

But when I had a chance to think about it, I see that it's just a bit under two months. Not a lot of time. And that made me feel better about how she's getting on with Jo and Veronica. 

That aside, she's just...happy? Like, contented and happy. Jo and Veronica are happy, too (most of the time). 

And that's enough for me.

Community Kick-Off

19 September 2026: Really happy with how our community "kick-off" for the Common Read went today--and love any excuse to hang out in the Shepherdstown Public Library.

Hannah and Mayor Gatz, with a proclamation!

Posing for the Library's  "Reading Looks Good on You" campaign.

Conferencing...

18 September 2026: Finished up a week full of conferences, first for ENGL 101 and then 301. I must be extra lucky this semester, because just about every student is doing what needs to be done and is on the right traack. A very rewarding week in that way. 

The what part of the library?

17 September 2026: 

Student in my ENGL 301 class, during our on-one-one conference today: "I got this book from the wet part of the library--"  

Me: "Wait--the what part of the library?"

And that's how I learned the library had a flood. 

(Apparently happened last week and mostly impacted carpets and not books. If students need books from the impacted sections, librarians do the fetching.)

4 weeks in a row...

16 September 2026: Second place again at trivia. Even without the winning, I've enjoyed it all so much. (And low-key bummed that I'll have to miss the next two weeks for work obligations...)

Common Reading Keynote

15 September 2026: What an absolute delight to see Nathan Richardson perform as Frederick Douglass this evening! It was unlike any Common Reading event we've ever done and students seemed to love it. 

Estrenar

14 September 2026: Spent a lot of time today conferencing with my ENGL 101 students as they work on their Literacy Narratives. Hard, interesting, and fulfilling work—for me and them (I hope).

My last meeting was with a student whose essay is about how writing got her through a very difficult time: a move to a new town when she was in high school. She writes about having to figure out how she was in this new space. How to move through new spaces. How to figure out a new version of herself.

She is also bilingual and, in her draft, mentioned that, as she wrote during that time—especially as she wrote music, some words felt right in Spanish, some in English, etc. She also mentioned words that have no direct translation to English, but didn’t give any examples in the essay.

“What’s one of them?” I asked her.

She paused. “It’s hard to think of one on the spot…”

Then she said, “Well, there’s estrenar, which mean to use or wear something for the first time…”

I got so excited and really nerded out. “You mean like trying something new? Seeing how it feels? Like…what your essay is kind of about?”

Bless her heart: she got excited, too.

Best job in the world.

Hope

13 September 2026: What a cool movie Hope is! Terrific non-stop action, genuinely funny, and the good kind of weird. Fun time!

Saturday to-do list...

12 September 2026: I swear, at least two times today I thought, "Gotta call Mom" and once thought, "Gotta call Mom and Dad." 

The other day, I was telling Erin that I never really adjusted to writing just "Call Mom" on my Saturday list. And that I only had to write that from December to early June. 

Every time I think it--before I am even done processing the thought--I realize the reality. And it's okay. Just really strange, surreal, and sad. 

25 years

11 September 2026: It seems foolish to even try to say something significant 25 years later. Most of my students weren't even born then. They've grown up hearing their teachers talk about "what it was like" every year. Today I just said to them, "It was awful. It sucked. It was really sad." That's all I've got.

Otherwise, grateful today for how much I've grown, changed, and learned since then, even as I know acutely how far I still have to go. 

Grateful for a full day of teaching, progress on some projects, two fresh vaccines (COVID and flu) in my arm, a fun stop at a faculty happy hour, and a night at home with the girls.

Living up to its name...

10 September 2026: Stopped when I got home from work today to admire the butterfly bush doing its thing. Perfect little moment. 

3 weeks in a row...

9 September 2026: Three weeks in a row of playing trivia at the casino. Three weeks in a row of us coming in second and winning $50. Three weeks in a row of feeling pretty good about having something fun to do in the middle of the week. 

Tomatoes and sweets...

8 September 2026: Walked out of trivia this evening with a couple of home-grown tomatoes and some sweets from London and Paris, gifts from two of my favorite teams. (They are all my favorites...) 

At least once a month, I leave with little gifts the teams give me. It's just a lovely reminder of how kind they all are.

Grateful, grateful, grateful. 

Labor Day Breakfast

7 September 2026: Really wonderful to start the day with breakfast at Hannah, Cory, and Theo's. Good food, cool cats, two of my best friends, and their super-fun baby? What more could I ask for?

Rednecks

6 September 2026: "Sid had dug the black veins of West Virginia cola that made hte companies rich that hired these men. Money that could buy mansions on teh shores of cold, clear lakes and twelve-cylinder Italian automobiles and murder in muddy streets behind the gleaming badges of private detective agencies. Coal money, God-strong in Mingo County. Sid smiled because he was risen from the mud of this place, born to meet such men in the street" (9).

Started reading Rednecks, my book club's current selection, today. Digging it so far. And just in time for Labor Day.

Work Cited

Brown, Taylor. Rednecks. St. Martin's, 2024.

Catching up on the social front...

5 September 2026: I've got a list (admittedly not very long, but still) of friends I need to catch up with because I didn't get a chance to see them this summer. Get-togethers delayed, canceled, never scheduled to begin with because I felt too uncertain about where I'd be on any one day.

Got a chance to cross a couple of names off the list tonight, meeting my friends Steve and Kit for dinner in Frederick. We talked for hours, like we always do. Felt wonderful.

Literacy Narrative proposals...

4 September 2026: I spent a big portion of this afternoon reading through my ENGL 101 students' proposals for their literacy narratives. So many good ideas percolating and real depth hiding in some of them. Already, too, evidence of rich and complicated lives.

Lots of work to do--both for them as writers and me as their teacher. But we can do it. 

Sometimes it hits you...

3 September 2026: I really am managing everything well and have been since December. I'm kind of proud of myself about it.

But sometimes it just crashes into me. 

Both gone in less than nine months. So much...just gone. 

I think the thing to do is just feel it. 

And I'll be okay.

Out again on a "school night"

2 September 2026: Second week in a row that I've played Wednesday night trivia at the casino with some friends. Second week in a row that we came in second and won $50. (My friends have been playing every week for longer, but this part of the experience is still new and exciting to me.)

Low-key proud of myself for going out on a school-night and making myself have fun. 

Writing progress...

1 September 2026: I am pleased to be making good progress on a writing project that isn't fun, but is kind of satisfying--and pays. I got to spend most of today making my way through it at home, a luxury I want to both appreciate and protect. 

Mary Oliver: Saved by the Beauty of the Soul

31 August 2026: My goodness, this Mary Oliver documentary precisely the right thing for me to watch right now. 

Such beauty. 

Such attention to the self and the world. 

So necessary.

Annie's Burgers

30 August 2026: Another sign that Annie is settling in as an official member of this family (despite the fightin' with Jo and Veronica): she has been the subject of a "cat and Bob's Burgers" picture.

"Can I get some of that?"

29 August 2026:

ENHANCE!

One week down...

28 August 2026: One week down...and it went pretty well. I was anxious about the usual excitement not coming back, but it did (mostly). Very grateful for that.

Bingo!

 27 August 2026: Just had a blast being the (alleged) "celebrity" caller at Big Bucks Bingo on campus. I was, alas, underdressed, especially compared to Rambo.

The student taking the picture (and the students watching) kept telling me to "do a pose." I did, but I swear that I aged ten years doing so. 

They worked...

26 August 2026:

[Catch-up post]

Grateful to my dear friend, Monica, who left these outside my office door yesterday. They did, indeed, brighten my day.

Back to trivia...

25 August 2026: First time back at trivia since August 4. 

The teams were so kind. Just like when my dad died, I was overwhelmed by their kindness. 

One team brought a big birthday cake for me on August 11, when I couldn't host because I was waiting to hear about my mom's passing. They asked the Rumsey Tavern to keep it in the freezer until the next week. And then the week after.  Today, it thawed wonderfully and was delicious.

They also sang "Happy Birthday" to me. I realized no one else had this year, which is silly, I guess, but also...noteworthy. My parents used to call every year with a "singing telegram," after all. 

I see these folks once a week (and some, just once a month), but they make me feel loved and appreciated. It's such a gift. 

First day...

24 August 2026: A very busy first day was probably what I needed today--and it's what I got. Students seem great (as always). Good to see the halls (and campus) full of life.

So much still seems off...but today I am grateful, grateful, grateful. 

80

23 August 2026: My dad would have turned 80 today. 

Just hard to believe how much has changed since his last birthday. 

Tiny Meritus Park...

22 August 2026: Had a really nice time at the Boxcars game with a group from Flagship Trivia. And this giveaway--a Lego(ish) kit to build your own stadium--is one of the coolest I've ever gotten.

Welcome Back Lunch

21 August 2026:

[Catch-up post...]

Friday was a long day, but falling back into the rhythms and seeing folks again felt pretty good at times. 

A definite highlight? Spending time with Hannah, even if most of it was on the very long line to get dirty sodas.

New old table

20 August 2026: 

[Catch-up post...]

Since he wanted to get the boat from the Martinsburg house, Colin also brought down my parents' dining room table for me on Thursday. Very strange and surreal to have it here, but it looks good. 

Bonus, of course, was getting to spend some time with Little Man.

All ready...

19 August 2026: Copied all the syllabi. Prepped for all of Monday's classes. So I am, basically, all ready for Monday.

Honestly, the summer felt like it was so long, but didn't feel a bit like a break. Not sure how well this bodes for the new semester, but a "normal" schedule should be a good thing.

The beach this morning...

18 August 2026: Up early for a long walk before a long day. Marveled at how different the beach can look every time I am down there.

Grateful for a lovely funeral service, for the friends and family who showed up to honor my mom, and to be back in WV tonight.

Where else?

17 August 2026: Where else was I going to visit on my walk this morning?

A couple of long and strange days kicking off today, but grateful for some time to be alone and think before the rest of the day unfolds.

Soaked through...

16 August 2026: Took a long walk before driving up to NY today. Probably should have had an umbrella with me. Mostly, though, it just sprinkled.

Then the skies really opened for the last block or so. 

Felt appropriate. 

And maybe a bit renewing?

Walked through the door soaked, but it was okay. 

(Symbolism aside, I had to change and shower anyway before hitting the road anyway.) 

These two...

15 August 2026: Where would I be without these two? They have been kind of perfect through all of this. And they are navigating having Annie join us with more patience than I could have imagined. 

That picture of BabyCat was taken about ten minutes after Annie chased her all the way down the upstairs hall and down the stairs. Her face show she's mostly recovered from the "WTF?" of it and is in "I hate this, but okay..." mode. 

Exploring...

14 August 2026: Cat paws on the TV. Cat paws behind the TV.

Annie's exploring range is expanding. 

Pushing on...

13 August 2026: A dull headache persisted all day today, having set up shop on Monday. But it's okay. Very busy day, which is also okay. Lots of kindness from friends, which is more than okay.

49

12 August 2026: 49 years ago, my mom brought me into this world. This morning, she slipped past its bounds and gained her heavenly home. 

I am so grateful for all that she gave me and grateful that she is at rest. 

"Softy and Tenderly"

11 August 2026: Praying for her heavenly homecoming and so many joyful reunions.

Jo at 4

10 August 2026: Lil Soups for everyone today as we celebrated Jo turning 4! I woke up with her sleeping hard by my legs. On days like these, when I wake up sad, it means so much to feel her there.

Here's a photo that summarizes the big excitement in her life lately: being intrigued and intimidated by and sometimes angry at her new housemate. Really, she's been remarkably patient and easy-going about Annie's arrival, as has BabyCat. Very proud of them both. (Proud of Annie, too, but really hoping she gives up her aggressive colonizer attitude soon!)

There at 4:30 a.m.

9 August 2026: Made it back to WV by 2:00. 

Keep thinking about the wonder that is hospice. Called them at 4:30 this morning because my mom had a fever. There they were, ready to tell me and Yasmine what to do, what to look for, and to tell us to "get some rest." I can't even think about that kind of beautiful service without crying. 

As for the time between that call and when I left four hours later...it was like an alternate reality. Quiet. Profound. Ordinary. Sad. Normal. Just sat with her and thought and thought and thought and prayed. 

Saturday morning at Rocky Point Beach

8 August 2026: Back yet again. Took my walk early this morning as it's hot and humid here. 

The guy heading out in his kayak reminded me so much of Ryan that it almost took my breath away.

Another surreal day.

I leave tomorrow morning and thinking about how that will feel is almost beyond my imagination.

Yasmine

7 August 2026: Tonight, I watched my mom's caregiver feed her an entire Glucerna drink with a teaspoon.  In the midst of so much sadness, it was beautiful to witness.

Not even a year ago...

6 August 2026: Headed up to NY tomorrow for what will be a very hard visit. 

I was scrolling through blog entries from last August just to be sure I was right about Jo's birthday. (I was; it's on Monday.)

Felt my breath catch when I scolled by this post. Less than a year ago. 

Surreal.

She's home...

5 August 2026: For the first time since early June, my mom is home in her own bed tonight. So grateful.

Not Quite a Ghost, again...

4 August 2026: I am trying to get as much day-to-day course prep done ahead of time as possible, which is why I have spent the past couple of days rereading Not Quite a Ghost. I am teaching it for the first time, including it in the Young Adult Lit class. It's been fun working through it again through the lens of teaching and I find myself looking forward to diving into it with my students in October.

Comfort

3 August 2026:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 14: 1-3. 

My favorite superhero...

2 August 2026: Spider-Man remains my favorite superhero and I really enjoyed Brand New Day today. A kid from New York who wants to the right thing...

It was also good to get out for a bit after a couple of mostly solo and quiet days here. I just wasn't up for "cheap" society, to paraphrase Walden a bit. I even skipped a fundraiser last night that I had already bought a ticket for...but I just couldn't do it. 

Too sad. Too in my own head. 

But also okay. 

And (I think?) maybe more okay because I didn't go. I gave myself permission to stay home and just be. 

Then Spider-Man was a great way to get out for a bit. 

One day at a time...

"After My First Breakup, My Father Writes His First Email"

1 August 2026: This poem, by Emily Jungmin Yoon, has been in my inbox since it arrived via the Poem-a-Day email on Tuesday. I keep coming back to it. 

These last three stanzas, man...

How easy it was to forget this man’s sensitivity,
his love for music, that he took saxophone lessons,

             coming home to an unlit apartment.
             A taciturn man, who sings alone.
             Who, when years later asked 

what instrument he likes listening to the most,
said, the human voice.

Banana bliss...

31 July 2026: Yesterday, Jo provided some much needed light through her essential Jo-ness. Today, it was BabyCat's turn, showing off her glorious fluff while passed out after playing with the old catnip-filled banana. 

Dramatic snoozing...

30 July 2026: Another day about which, boringly and depressingly, I feel compelled to say that so much is bad and sad and hard. Grateful for the light that shines through, including from this silly, dramatic bundle of chaos and love.

Hadestown

29 July 2026: Got a chance to see the filmed version of Hadestown just before it ended its theatrical run. Really enjoyed it and found myself thinking about all the Orpheus-themed works I've encountered over the years. Really is the summer of being grateful for your early training in mythology. 

Caught her mid-prance...

28 July 2026: This cat loves to prance. I always think she looks like a cat ballerina when she walks.

"This Isn't Final"

27 July 2026: 

"Don't give up on all that you love

Just because it's getting hard

And don't give up on the person you've become

Just because it's getting dark" --Lily Kershaw, "This Isn't Final"

Sunday snapshots...

26 July 2026: Some images from today that make me happy. 

(BabyCat lives here, too, and is always worth looking at--I just didn't catch her posing when I had my phone out.)

Home makes me happy.

First day in WV...

25 July 2026: Made it back to West Virginia in great time and she's getting settled in. Not happy, but does seem to like the open window. She'll stay in the office by herself for a least a couple of days, I think.

Lots of Big Thoughts on my drive. So much sadness. It's the anniversary of losing Ryan, too. 

But it's a profound thing to take an animal in and commit to loving it and caring for it. And it's striking how quickly they work their way right into your heart. 

Somewhere in New Jersey, "You Are the Sunshine of My Life" came on. I thought to myself, "this little cat is just that--sunshine breaking through all this darkness. And 'that's while I'll always be around' for her." 

I don't like change and this will be a big adjustment for Jo and Veronica. But we'll make it work. 

Cat-napping...

24 July 2026: Tomorrow morning, this little one, my parents' cat Annie, will join me for the long ride to West Virginia. Praying that she adjusts well to life with Veronica and Jo (and me). She's a real sweetie and just the perfect amount of weird.

We meet again...

23 July 2026: Stopped by my youthful angst stomping ground this morning on my walk. 

Slightly better vibes than the previous two stops.