"I know a lot of it is nonsense, but it's hard..."

31 March 2023: "If I step back from my mind, I know a lot of it is nonsense, but it's hard to do that." --one of my students today talking about how his mind talks him into inaction when he's trying to work. I think there's such wisdom and self-awareness here, and I told him so. 

Opening Day!

30 March 2023: Opening day always lifts my spirits. And a 5-0 win with both Judge and Gleyber hitting homers? We will take it! Welcome back, boys of summer! 

Challenging conversation...

29 March 2023: Had to have a challenging conversation with some people today and found myself so impressed by a colleague's composure and grace. The conversation didn't end in any definitive way except everyone (I think) felt heard and better than before we talked. 

Favorite campus tree...

28 March 2023: Favorite tree on campus is doing its thing again. Spring vibes helping me get through a busy day that also included a double-cat vet visit.

"I think I shall write books..."

27 March 2023: "I think I shall write books, and get rich and famous; that would suit me, so that is my favorite dream." --Jo March in Little Women

On a related note, Jo March Hanrahan's favoite toy of the moment is this pen she dug out of the coffee table drawer. Not a bad visual representation of parts of the writing process... 

Looking up...

26 March 2023: Snapped this while passing under the trees by University Heights. No prettier time of year. And hoping, praying, hoping, praying that this post's title fits a double-meaning I am willing into existence.  

Literacy Leaders Conference

25 March 2023: Spent this morning attending and giving two presentations at the Literacy Leaders conference on campus, sponsored by the School of Education. Most attendees were local K12 teachers--the folks with some of the hardest and most important jobs in the world. It really was a privilege to talk to them about teaching and writing. 

Getting there...

24 March 2023: Started off the work day meeting Senator Manchin at 8:30. Ended the day 12 hours later, finishing details on two presentations I have to give at a conference tomorrow. The middle? Teaching, a boatload of advising appointment and conferences, grading, so many emails, and lots of "you can do this" pep-talks to myself. This weekend will be a bear, too, but I think this is the end of the cruelest month of the semester. 

Much needed win

23 March 2023: Today was a lot. This whole week has been a lot. I could go on and on about everything that's frustrating, dumb, infuriating, and overwhelming, but I want (need) to focus on a win that rolled in early this evening. A student/advisee has a hold on her account because she has a balance. This student has been through it this semester--for reasons out of her control. And she needs to stay on track to graduate ASAP and get out on her own. I don't know the specifics, but I know that's true. I asked--if she was comfortable sharing--how much the balance was. Just over $300. For so many students, this amount of money is the difference between continuing with an education or leaving. 

Sent a quick email to our VP of Enrollment Management wondering if Last Dollar Funds might help her. This was at maybe 3:00. Just before 5:00, I got the email that she had been awarded the funds. On a day where I had cried some overwhelmed and frustrated tears at my desk, literal tears of joy and relief filled my eyes. 

The Lord provides. 

76!

22 March 2023: Happy to celebrate my mother's 76th birthday with her and my dad this evening.

Hobby research...

21 March 2023: This evening I got to hear my friend and colleague, Larry, from Psychology, talk about his research into the psychology of hobbies today. It was so interesting. I could have asked a thousand more questions. And once again so impressed by the people I get to work with everyday. 

Office hours' conversation

20 March 2023: An office hours conversation with a student today started off being about his major project for the class. I could kind of sense he wanted to linger, so I gave a "that's okay" signal and we kept talking about school stuff, but also more than that--books, his writing, etc. I'd never had a conversation that long with that student and for reasons I will be vague about, it meant a great deal to me that he stayed and felt comfortable. 

When you have the time and energy to do it/give it, one of the best parts of teaching is that you can give students time to talk and be heard. That's such a privilege. 

"A Pedagogy of Kindness"

19 March 2023: Grateful for my colleague, Valerie, who shared this article with me. 

"A pedagogy of kindness asks us to apply compassion in every situation we can, and not to default to suspicion or anger. When suspicion or anger is our first response, a pedagogy of kindness asks us to step back and do the reflective work of asking why we’re reacting in that manner and what other instances of disappointment or mistrust are coming to bear on a particular moment in a particular student-teacher interaction."

I try to live out these words. Though it isn't always easy, it rarely makes me feel angry or duped or resentful and it costs me nothing. 

The Book of Goose

18 March 2023: Just finished The Book of Goose, the selection for my book club this month. It's a peculiar book: dark, vivid, funny--and the pages flew by when I actually had time to devote to it. Yiyun Li's take on the all-consuming intimacy of a certain kind of young female friendship is as wrenching and painful as it is beautiful. "Can't you see  that we've already lived past the best times of our lives?" Fabienne asks Agnes, as the book concludes--and I felt it in my chest. Laura Miller, in this piece on Slate, puts it very well, writing of "the unsoothable longing of its conclusion." 

St. Patrick's Day 2023

17 March 2023: Today slipped by quickly in many ways. Spent most of it at the Virginia Forum sessions, which seemed to go very well. Also had lunch with Hannah, which always moves a day way up on the "good" meter. Still feeling a bit under the weather (frustrating!), but happy to be settled at home with corned beef in the oven and some good TV to watch. St. Patrick's Day twenty years ago--especially on Friday night--might have looked very different, but it's okay to be long done with all of that. 

Today is Bing's birthday (he'd be 21!) and it's been nice to think about him on and off today. Facebook "memories" helped, as did telling Amy the story of the time he got stuck behind the fridge. Hannah said Jo's got a lot of his spirit, which seems spot-on to me. 

So a quiet break overall (with the weekend still to go), but I can't complain too much--and a lot to be grateful for. 

“No Two Alike...”

16 March 2023: Got to listen to the opening plenary session of the Virginia Forum, which is happening at Shepherd this year thanks to my colleague, Jim. The session, entitled "“No Two Alike: From the Frontlines of Virginia’s School Desegregation, Diverse Pioneers Tell You Their Stories," was really fascinating, as four people told of their experiencing with school desegregation. To state the obvious, this was not that long ago. Yet today, so many are unwilling to hear these stories and learn these lessons--and are working to keep others from doing so, too. 

Afternoon off...

15 March 2023: Finished my Gilman entry this morning and knocked some more stuff off my to-do list. As a kind of reward, I only worked until 11:15 today and took the rest of the afternoon off. Amy and I got lunch and watched Scream VI, which was a lot of fun. Back home now, still nursing this lingering cold, and watching the second season of Perry Mason. Might get some more work done with this episode is over, but taking a little pause felt good. 

Sidekick...

14 March 2022: A year ago, it was Wes sitting here with me, my permanent sidekick. I still miss him (and Bing) so much and the adjustments since Jo's arrival have been kind of hard at times. But when I look over and see her here--where the boys used to sit--it makes me feel very blessed.

"Thank you for everything..."

13 March 2023: I found myself saying the words in this post's title out loud as I pulled into a parking spot today. I was thinking about--of all things--how many great podcast episodes I had to listen to and the specific ones I'd play on my walk. I just felt grateful for little things like that: people talking about ideas, art, and culture. 

As soon as I said it, I was struck by how seemingly silly it was to thank God for something like that, but I also realized the "everything" was a gesture outward--to all the wonderful parts of this life, all the gifts God gives us (and how they help us through the hard times). The moment stretched into more moments, and this gratitude has been on my mind all day. 

Actually feeling a bit melancholy today--cloudy weather, work stress, a long list of work to do on this "Spring Break," and a this lingering illness are all bringing me down. But having this gratitude running alongside all that is itself such a gift. 

Snowy Sunday walk

 12 March 2023: Even though I wanted to stay away from campus all weekend, I found myself up there getting a couple of hours of work done. Then, just after the snow started falling, I set out of my usual "when I'm on campus" walk through town. This isn't the best picture, but I liked the idea of stopping in one of my favorite spots for a "seasonal/walking shot" to take in the beauty. The snow won't come to much--and I think that we might just go a whole seaosn without a signifcant snowfall--but it was still really pretty and invigorating.

Catherine and Stephen...

11 March 2023: 

[Catch-up post...]

Lovely time celebrating Catherine and Stephen's wedding last night...

Made it...

10 March 2023: Well, today tested me, but we made it: Spring Break. Honestly, nothing on my list but getting work done, doing some spring cleaning, and not setting an alarm for a week, but I am so glad for that. 

Almost there...

9 March 2023: We are creeping closer and closer to Spring Break and boy, do I need it. My cold seems to have taken a turn for the better, though I anticipate the sore throat sticking around a bit longer and a cough that lingers too long. I just know I need to rest and catch up on some work. Exhibit A in proving my need for rest: I got all the way to school today when I realized I had on black pants, not blue--and considering my shoes, socks, belt, and jacket were all brown--I got right back in the car, drove home, and changed. And, to be clear, I got dressed that morning with the lights on. Just running on a depleted battery...

But I can see it up ahead: break!

Night off...

8 March 2023: Long and busy day with some stressful conflict resolution work involved. Though I think I am feeling better, I sound worse and am kind of dragging. So I have more or less given myself the night off. Came home at bit after 5:00, took a long bath, and am now settling in for TV and then an early bedtime. 

The microchip has been compromised...

7 March 2023: Look, I ain't no Chris Traeger, but this keeps running through my head as I deal with this (not a big deal) cold:

I had everything sort of queued up to get me through to Spring Break, including Giving Day, writing deadlines, and grading. And this cold means the microchip has been compromised. Some of it won't get done or will only get it done with 60% effort... 

It's okay. It'll be okay, but kind of a bummer. 

A cold?

6 March 2023: A head cold feels almost quaint--though annoying as ever--in 2023. I took a COVID test early this morning and another late this afternoon, both negative. I'll take another tomorrow and probably tbe next day, too, but I think it's just a cold. Not exactly what I need for this very busy week before break, but okay: pushing on through. Also admitting I am a human being and letting go of a few things. 

Home again...

5 March 2023: Trip back home was uneventful, which we love. Glad to be back and settled in. Now there's just the big push to through this week to make it to Spring Break. We can do this.

Nashville

4 March 2023: 

[Catch-up post]

Tim and I delivered our presentation on Saturday morning to a small crowd, but we did just fine and it was fun. In the afternoon, he and Kevin (and Tim's friend Janet from college) showed me some of their favorite sites. (Tim went to Belmont.) As with any "Tim Venture," the food was top-notch. A good day--with over 20K steps, which is how you know you did a lot. 

To Nashville...eventually!

3 March 2022: 

[Catch-up post]

Friday was a long day. Tim, Kevin, and I flew down to Nashville, where Tim and I were presenting at the N.O.S.S. conference on Saturday morning. Bad weather led to flight delays, long rental car lines, and just a heck of a trip. Thought we'd be getting to the hotel at 7 or so. Was actually after midnight. But we made it.

 

Phyllis...

2 March 2023: I got to meet the woman who took care of Jo when she was brought into the shelter--when she was sick and tiny and needed so much care. It was really lovely to meet her, hear about Jo's early days, and tell her how well she is doing now. This little cat--as much work as she can be--is just pure love and joy. 

Work husband...

1 March 2023: Today was kind of a blur--13 hours passed between me leaving the house and getting home and I still didn't feel like I had enough time to get through everything I wanted to. Things are stressful and bad and hard even as other things (and sometimes the same things?) are fun and delightful and going very well. And tonight, with the conference in Nashville that we are presenting at just a couple days away, I am grateful (again) for Tim and how often he plays a key role in making the good stuff as good as it is and the hard/bad stuff not as bad.