A bit uneasy if hopeful...

30 April 2023: Another rather rainy day found me working on grant documentation (almost done with this monkey on my back), along with my book's entry on romanticism and a few other odds and ends. Feeling kind of overwhelmed but hoping that once the grant is done and I have a chance to really plan my summer writing, I'll feel more at ease. It will also help to have my Tuesday meeting with my fellow contributing editor for Studies in American Humor where we finalize our respective reading lists for the "Year's Work in Humor Studies" (the other big project of the summer for me). Once I know just what I need to do, everything gets clearer.   

Video chat...

29 April 2023: After a strange and at times frustrating day (minor HVAC drama and too much to do), I am so grateful that my college crew and I got to do a video chat tonight for the first time in a long while. Love them all so much.

Spring 2023 Grading: DONE!

28 April 2023: Just clicked "submit" on the practicum final grades, so that's that! The satisfaction here is a bit muted by all the other dumb stuff I have to get done (not related to teaching, of course). 

But still, for now, the briefest of pauses for some chair-dancing, this time to a gem from my college years...

Trip planning...

27 April 2023: Spent some time tonight planning a late-summer trip with Vogel. Most of the details are still TBD, but needless to say, I can't wait. 

Spring grading: nearly done...

26 April 2023: Finished with grading my two 3-credit classes (and the graduate student). Almost done with the 1-credit practicum, but the students have until Friday to submit things, so I am not really done yet. No chair-dancing post just yet. But it's close! 

Still so much other stuff to do, but it's feeling good to be almost done with these parts. 

"Here I Am, Lord"

25 April 2023: Working on the department newsletter in my office, with Youtube just playing music in the background. This song came up and I found myself singing along and getting a bit teary. This song has always meant so much to me, and to hear it again in this moment gave my soul a bit of restoration. The sweet comfort and assurance that we are seen, called, lead, and loved--and called upon to love others. 

Time suck...

24 April 2023: After being at Midnight Breakfast until early this morning, I slept in a bit and got a later-than-usual start on the workday. Even still, I am amazed that I spent more or less the whole day (minus a couple of meetings) working on these documents for this darn congressional earmark, currently the most unwelcome monkey on my back. What a time suck! Cannot wait for this to be done. Trying not to dwell on the other work I could have gotten done today if this weren't dumped on me. 

Mess-ups...

23 April 2023: Having a kind of Big Feelings/Big Thoughts kind of day, in big part because of a mess-up I committed. Trying to make peace with it all, especially since the mess-up is something I can't fix. And the one thing I can't fix has me thinking about so much other stuff I can't fix. It'll be okay--and I realize the need to sit with feeling bad--but it ain't fun.

Hoping my mood lifts a bit when I head out to Midnight Breakfast later.  

Saturday break...

22 April 2023: Despite a pretty big to-do list for the weekend, I snuck away for most of the afternoon with Amy to see Dungeons and Dragons and have lunch. Fun movie, good food, and just a nice break. Because that break has been sandwiched between a productive morning (mowed the lawn, did laundry, cleaned around the house) and a productive evening (some research, typing up notes), it feels even better. 

"...a great vexation"

21 April 2023: Laughed out loud when I came across the opening to this article--just as I probably did when I first read it and annotated it with the very helpful "ha!" Not only are the epigraphs very funny, but they do a perfect job previewing Elbert's fantastic thesis.

Work Cited

Elbert, Monika M. “Elizabeth Palmer Peabody’s Problematic Feminism and the Feminization of Transcendentalism.” Reinventing the Peabody Sisters, edited by Monika M. Elbert, Julie E. Hall, and Katharine Rodier, U of Iowa P, 2006. pp. 199-215.

Dinner at Alma Bea

20 April 2023: 

[Catch-up post]

After the BOG meeting yesterday, Amy, Tim, Hannah, and I had dinner at Alma Bea. Every part of it was amazing--the food, the conversation, the pause in a busy time of year. Just lovely. 

"I wanna know why you like stuff"

 19 April 2023: “I take all your recommendations seriously. I wanna know why you like stuff.” –Gregory to Janine in the latest episode of Abbott Elementary. That’s my kind of pick-up line. Swoon! 

Boxes of books...

18 April 2023: Some of our majors came by to go through some books that had been donated today. Because they helped pick them up from the donor, they got first choice when we opened the boxes. It was a bit like Christmas for the students, which felt good since the donor wasn't giving them up under the best circumstances. It's comforting to see joy come from a sad place. 

But it was also just nice to hear the students laughing and talking with each other--nice to be reminded of their enthusiasm, their friendships with each other, their exhuberance, their silliness, and their youth. That last part makes me feel simultaneously older and younger, which I'll take.  

Eleven more meetings...

17 April 2023: Presided over our last Faculty Senate meeting of the academic year today. That means I've got one year left in my term and just eleven more meetings before I am (blessedly) term-limited out. 

I've got a clock in my head, and about a year and a half from now, with the Senate over and my book done, things get a lot less busy in my life. It's so sweet to think about.

Back to the misogyny mines...

16 April 2023: Took a tiny break from working on my entry on realism to pet Jo, who is collapsing into one of those epic kitten naps that turn on and off like a switch. Part of what spurred the break was knowing my next task is to dig up the origin of/citation for some anxiety-driven masculinist b.s. from William Dean Howells (the need for literature that reflects "the world of men's activities"). Needed to stretch a bit before that digging.

Gave her a few pets and scratches and laughed at myself as I told her, "Okay: back to the misogyny!"

Anyway, back to the misogyny mines...

Unbothered by nineteenth-century misogyny while the human writes.

A Man's Place

15 April 2023: "His greatest satisfaction, possibly even the raison d'etre of his existence, was the fact that I belonged to the world which had scorned him" (88). 

When I heard my colleague speak about Annie Ernaux's work back in February, and asked her for a good place to start, she recommended A Man's Place, saying it gave a good sense of her writing style and her ability to connect the very specific and personal outlines of an individual life to the wider history of mid-century France. (Turns out, she sure isn't wrong.) Anyway, when it was my turn to pick our book club's next book, I chose this one. Tore through it today. What an achievement--a powerful book about families and class.

Work Cited

Ernaux, Annie. A Man's Place. 1983. Seven Stories Press, 2012.

Luminaria Booth

14 April 2023: Had a lot of fun working the luminaria booth at Relay for Life this evening with Stacey and Amy. Long day, long week, but this was a nice way to end it.

Jo and the tree...

13 April 2023: Came home this evening after a pretty good day on campus (got some good work done, gave a little speech at the Phi Kappa Phi induction) and opened the windows upstairs so Jo could look at the redbud tree. 

Reminded me of this photo of Wes from just over three years ago, in the early days of COVID, while we were finishing up the spring semester online.

New Rambler...

12 April 2023: Got a new Rambler this morning as I started to get worried about how the old one was fraying at the corners. That one--my second--was maybe ten years old?

I kind of like this one--my hair looks so red! 

1203...

11 April 2023: Meant to make this post on day 1200, but missed the milestone. Anyway, today marks 1203 consecutive days of at least ten-thousand steps. I took today's long walk--on a mid-morning work break--in short sleeves on what turned out to be a kind of perfect spring day. 

View out back...

10 April 2023: Made sure to get home when it was light out today--just brought my work home with me. Why? Well, I wanted to break too-long streak of 13+ hour days and get home to my knuckleheads. But I also wanted to appreciate the view of the redbud from the back door. It's blooming every year just fills me with joy. When the TV is off, it reflects the flowers, too, so in lots of ways, it's hard not to see the blooms from the living room. 

Easter 2023

9 April 2023: 

First mow...

8 April 2023: First mow of the season today--the surefire sign that spring is here, even if we've got a freeze warning for tonight. 

Friday afternoon softball...

7 April 2023: Took in my first Shepherd softball game of the semester. Got to see my student hit a three-run homer in a come-from-behind win. Very glad that I decided to take a break from working in my office (though I did go back after and still didn't get home until after 7:30).

"Teaching that Empowers Academic Belonging"

6 April 2023: "We need to learn about belonging from people who had have to belong to themselves." --Hakeem Leonard

Attended a really terrific workshop today, led by Dr. Leonard, entitled "Teaching that Empowers Academic Belonging." His point above will stick with me for a long time. 

Someone else's deadlines...

5 April 2023: Found myself regretting some comments I made today about meeting someone else's deadline. I still think the ask was unreasonable, but I suggested it was arbitrary, when it almost certainly wasn't. I shouldn't have assumed that.

I keep thinking how I would feel if someone would have assumed that about a deadline that I imposed--students wondering why a paper was due when it was due, not realizing how precisely these windows of time work. Or one group--the Faculty Senate, perhaps--pushing back and not realizing that I needed to get info to another group. 

I think I did a decent enough job explaining to the folks who need to know that I regretted my comments--and seriously, I am sure no one is thinking about this as much as I am. But I want to kind of focus on it for a bit longer, sit in feeling bad about it for a bit longer (then stop that part), and then remember it so I don't do it again. I think this is right and even healthy. 

Standing up for herself...

4 April 2023: I've been watching Veronica very closely lately, to make sure she isn't letting Jo run all over her (sometimes literally), especially as Jo gets bigger. For instance, Veronica often lets Jo grab a treat before her or backs off when Jo tries to get her other food.

This evening, I have the front window open and Veronica has claimed the window seat for herself. Each time Jo tries to sort of (play)fight her off it, Veronica slaps back (firmly, with a bit of playfulness). I'm like, "Good for you, BabyCat! You tell her!" 

I keep telling myself that it can take a year for them to get completely used to each other--and maybe more. And Veronica--a unique cat in lots of ways--had years and years of just living with two old boys to whom she deferred on just about everything.  

So...step by step, little by little. 

Little notes...

3 April 2023: Grateful today for the folks who either during or after virtual meetings send little notes and messages letting me know I am (or was) doing a good job dealing with difficult people or frustrating conversations.These messages make me feel like I am not losing my mind or my cool. Makes a world of difference. 

Sunday composing...

2 April 2023: Getting some writing done from home on a Sunday, which is going pretty well considering the editor/distractor over my shoulder. Actually managed to stay away from campus all weekend (so far). 

Robot friends...

1 April 2023: Just now, I said to the robot vaccuum, "Can you get those crumbs? Good job! Thank you!" Jo, who most of the time counts the robot among her favorite playmates, ran over to me in jealousy, I think. Trying to figure out which of us is more ridiculous. 

(Yes, it's me.)