"The Better Part of Bravery"

1 November 2026:

"The only truth that can remain
The better part of bravery
Is in the letting go" 

Wildwood is astonishing. 

Halloween 2026

31 October 2026: Dug out some of Bing and Wes's old gear for Annie and Jo. (Annie was much more compliant and, as I write this, still has hers on.)

And then, what a delight to see Theo (and his family) a little later!

Investiture Day!

30 October 2026: Perfect day to celebrate President Wesson!

Providence...

29 October 2026: Attended a really lovely reception this evening for President Wesson on the eve of his official investiture ceremony. In some brief remarks, he shared that he believes in divine providence--that he's come to Shepherd as part of that plan. Boy, does that feel right. 

Late October sunset...

28 October 2026: 

Snapped this after a stop at Kohl's on my way to Wednesday trivia. Picture doesn't do it justice.

Take the motivation where you can get it...

27 October 2026: I am working on a writing project right now that is so boring and strange that I am not enjoying it at all. (It's a paid gig--and good money, so that's why I am doing it.) Right now, though, I am deciding to think about how good it will feel to have it done and using that as motivation. Let's hope it works!

"After Words"

26 October 2026: 

"I stood at the door and flashed
on a day the week before
he died, when I asked him
what was he living for, really, what
was left for him?, a question borne
of bone-deep exhaustion and fear." --Kelly Beard, "After Words"

There's been a kind of gloominess hovering over me these last few days. Lots of strange dreams and thoughts about my parents. Guilt and sadness on a loop. 

Nothing dire; I'm okay. It's just there.

Beard's poem, which is new to me, and the little "About This Poem" segment, found me welling up here in my office this morning. Grateful for this moment. 

Caroline

25 October 2026: "Carefully, Caroline closed the Bible around the splinter and slipped it back into the trunk. She felt the way she had felt when her brother died, and when her children were born. Open, so that everything reached straight through to her heart. Entirely conscious of the current of life coursing through her. Until this day, she hadn't noticed the concordant notes between the two. This was the feeling that came over her each time the veil between this world and the next was lifted" (Miller 329).

This morning, I finished Caroline, my book club's selection for this month. I am not quite sure what I think about it, but this passage felt true to me. It's how I've felt over this last year: kind of cracked open to life, death, pain, joy...like a live nerve. 

Work Cited

Miller, Sarah. Caroline: Little House, Revisited. William Morrow, 2018.

"The Zit"

24 October 2026: It's so strange to rewatch My So-Called Life at age 49, with both of my parents gone...

I rewatched "The Zit" this evening and moved all over again--though in ways that hit differently than in 1994. 

Anyway, here's Angela's closing monologue: "Sometimes it seems like we're all living in some kind of prison. And the crime is how much we hate ourselves. It's good to get really dressed up once in a while. And admit the truth. That when you really looked closely, people are so strange, and so complicated, that they're actually... beautiful. Possibly even me." 

Volleyball!

23 October 2026: It's been such a busy semester that only tonight was I able to see my first Shepherd volleyball game. Felt great to see them back in action--and to see them win.

Fall Break Vibes...

22 October 2026: Won't be a work-free Fall Break, but I am grateful for a chance to catch up on some stuff when I can and just...be grateful in general. On my way home from getting my hair cut this morning, I actually said out loud, "You are having a good day." 

Also...cutest (and mostly hidden) attendee at the BOG Finance Committee meeting.

First place!

21 October 2026: After a long, non-stop day at work, I barely had time to feed the cats, change the litter boxes, and pull the trash can down to the curb before heading out to the casino for Wednesday night trivia. But I had been looking forward to it all day. 

Had a blast today even before we came in first. That's the first time it's happened since I've been playing with these folks. The win is just the cherry on top, though. 

Sometimes brave, sometimes not...

20 October 2026: An HVAC tech came by this morning to do the yearly inspection. Jo stood at the door when he arrived, went right up to him, and was generally pretty nosy for the first half of his visit here. Something must have changed, though--maybe too many loud noises?--because after I had been working at the table for awhile, I realized I had some company hiding on the chair next to me.

I love this about her; sometimes she's so audacious and sometimes she just a scaredy cat. And when she's the latter, I love that she finds comfort near me.

Dinner with Lee

19 October 2026: Way back in July, Valerie, Sadie, and I planned on taking Lee, our SUWP admin, out for a meal to thank her once her position ended (when the grant ended). Then...life intervened. 

Tonight, we finally made it happen. Felt really good to thank Lee and just catch up with her. 

(Sadie's daughter was sick so she had to miss...)

The Midlife Plot Twist...

18 October 2026: Listened to this episode of Depresh Mode on my walk this morning and once again found myself thinking how often John Moe's work makes me think and moves me.