Busy Tuesday...

13 October 2026: Two meetings, one doctor appointment, one presentation/pitch, and fourteen essays graded. Not bad for one day. Even more encouraging is that part of me found the rush exciting and even energizing. 

The sunshine and warm temperatures certainly helped, even as the leaves covered the sidewalks on walk this morning. 

Doing all the appointments and meetings on (and around) campus before 2:00 and then getting home to grade and do other work from 2:00-6:00 also helped--a lot. 

I was sort of dreading this week, but so far, I am handling it and can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Sort of...

"Maybe we lived between hurting and healing..."

12 October 2026: On my walk this morning, I was thinking about sadness, anger, and guilt, emotions that I wrestle with these days in the aftermath of the last ten months. This morning, I found myself wondering about the relationship between the three. Does one drive the others? Does one feed the others? Do the roles switch? I feel like figuring that hierarchy out is important--but not to get past them. Just to understand and keep going. 

When I got back to my office, I looked over my notes for the Young Adult Lit class. We were finishing up Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, which included a discussion of the line that gives this post its title. 

Seeing that line in my notes seemed important. Trying to figure out if that's where I am...I think so? And that's a good space for thinking and thinking and thinking...

World Series...

11 October 2026: Got up really early to drive back from Pennsylvania in time to play with my Wednesday trivia friends on the "World Series." We came in 11th out of 50 teams (and were only 2 points away from 10th place). I had a blast, too. 

Favorite person/favorite place...

10 October 2026: Longwood Gardens might not be my favorite place, but it's high on my list, mostly because I am always there with Vogel. 

I thought springtime with the tulips was the best, but holy cow, the fall flowers are beautiful, too.

Cucina Massi

9 October 2026: Joined Tim, Michael, and Nina tonight in Frederick for dinner at the restaurant where Denis works. He's leaving both the restaurant and Shepherd next week we had never visited him there. It was a really lovely, fun, and bittersweet time. 

Almost 52...

8 October 2026: The days before October 9 are always bittersweet. Tomorrow would have been Ryan's 52 birthday. 

I wonder what he'd be like today if he were still here. 

I wonder what these last years would have been like if he had been with us. 

Mostly, I just miss him and find myself wondering, wondering, wondering...

Late afternoon sun...

7 October 2026: With fall kinda-sorta-maybe starting to settle in, it was nice to get home before 4:30 today, open the windows, and spend some time with the girls before heading back out for trivia at the casino.

 The days are getting shorter and the mornings colder. Sunlight and open windows are on their way out...things that aren't great for my mood. Feels good to seize the chances I still have.

Badges...

6 October 2026: If I knew how easy it was to document and process badges (micro-credentials) through NWP, I would have started doing it long ago. It's my own fault and I am kicking myself, but now I am ready to transition to a badge evangelist.

(Issued 24 "Teacher Consultant" badges this morning...)

Monday madness...

5 October 2026: Wild to have spent so much of Sunday getting caught up and even ahead on some projects and tasks and then spend today feeling very behind and overwhelmed. Managed to wrestle the to-do list down quite a bit, but man...what a tough stretch this will be. 

Alma mater bummer...

4 October 2026: Earlier this morning, I read through Roanoke's latest magazine. Man, did it bum me out. 

A story about a new three-year degree and a story about a human-looking AI agent as a "virtual engagement officer" focused on fundraising. 

What the heck are we doing? Chasing every shiny trend. Chipping away at what made the place great... 

Still grateful for what Roanoke did for me, but if "Rose" (the AI) asks me for money, I'm done. How can one ethically invest in a future so antithetical to the place I loved? 

Yankees and spiders...

3 October 2026: Watching the Yankees play in game one of the ALDS. As always, excited to see them in the playoffs and grateful no matter how far they go. 

An otherwise quiet day (in a good way). Cleaned the house, ran some errands, took a walk, watched some TV, and got some work done. 

Also got bit by a spider, who I caught in the act (and then squished). The squishing got in the way of any identification, but considering it's been a few hours, I suspect I am fine. I would make a Spiderman joke, but honestly, I am too tired for the great responsibility that comes with great power. 

The path ahead...

2 October 2026: I'm in the middle of another stretch of relatively non-stop weeks (though notably, this particular weekend is like an eye in the storm). It's a combination of work stuff and personal obligations; some good stuff/fun stuff and some not-so-fun. 

Regardless, part of me hates stretches like this so much, in part because I don't like life unfolding like something to be "got through." I know I do it to myself--the commitments and the way I frame them--and I need to change that. But until then, I just hate it.

I keep thinking of last year, with its own marathon through late October and early November. I felt so good when I was done with it and the very next day, my dad went into the hospital. It's a pattern that's repeated since then, too: I think I have made it out of a tough stretch and think, "okay, I can breath now" ...and the bottom falls out.

This morning on my walk, I was going over all of this in my head. Then I looked up and found myself moved by the simple beauty of this stretch of High Street that I've admired so many times before. 

I know it's cringey and cheesy, but I said to myself, "the path might be long, but there's also beauty." Gotta try to remember that. 

Hang it in the Louvre!

1 October 2026: My genius cat created a version of me in pasta and I won't accept any other answers. (I just helped her finish it a bit with some digital assistance.)

Like bison...

30 September 2026: According to Saeed Jones on the episode of Vibe Check that I listened to this morning, folks say that bison walk (or run) towards storms, somehow knowing that they'll get out faster when they do than if they run from them. "If you go toward the storm," he explained, "you can get to the other side instead of being chased by it."

Maybe, he and Zach suggested, this is how we should treat grief. 

Zach noted, "If you go through it, you'll get through it."

"Keep walking," Saeed added.

Walking up High Street, on a morning when my parents had been on my mind, I thought to myself, "Amen"...and kept going. 

Good morning, moon...

29 September 2026: The combination of feeling sick, stressed, and low-key sad, mixed with a super-long to-do list and another busy week, with (I am guessing?) a splash of the "hormone fun that comes at 49" means that I was wide awake and out of bed before 5:00 and on campus as the sun came up and the moon was still out.

I don't hate it. Like I said, I am wide awake and will get a much earlier start on my list. But I do wonder when the fatigue bill will come due...couldn't have gotten much more than 4 hours sleep last night.