"Surprised by joy"

11 February 2026: Yesterday, Tim told me--when we were talking about changes on campus--that he was happy to see me looking hopeful. So that's been on my mind (in a good way).

As I am starting to wrap up a stretch of extra-intense work (might fully catch my breath a week from tomorrow? fingers crossed!), it felt great to get over to the women's basketball game this evening and watch them notch another win. They're 6-10 now, but are on a little hot streak. Just fun, fun, fun to see them win. 

This post's title, the titular opening words of a Wordsworth poem, came into my head today when I was thinking about all of this: "Surprised by joy..." 

What I remember about studying this poem for the first time is how it shifts even in that first line--there's such drama in it. It opens not in the moment of joy, but in the moment after, when the speaker realizes he is surprised by it. And then it shifts to grief. 

I was surprised by joy--and yes, right there in the surprise, in fact, pushing it into being was (is) grief. But the grief didn't swallow the joy. 

There is something else there, though, ridiing alongside joy and surprise...a fear that the rug will be pulled out again. Can't let that fear take over, though. 

Tara's birthday

10 February 2026: I can't be with my sister today as she celebrates her birthday, but we got to talk on the phone (and yes, I sang "Happy Birthday" to her). She's getting over being sick, but was still so positive and sunny. Everything we've gone through in the past few months makes me appreciate all over again what an exceptionally kind and decent person she is--and so strong. 

Just so grateful to be her sister.

"His Heart's Desire"

9 February 2026: What fun it was to teach Alice Dunbar-Nelson's "His Heart's Desire" today in my seminar. These students are so good at talking about this material and it continues to be a delight to teach things I've never taught before.

Long, long, busy, busy days, but those three hours this morning with my students? The best.

Super Bowl Sunday

8 February 2026:

My grief for my father hits me in strange ways sometimes. 

This evening, after a quiet but good day of getting lots of work done and feeling fine (even good!), I find myself tearing up. 

It’s Super Bowl Sunday. I don’t really care about football and won’t be watching the game. But I started thinking about how my mom and dad watched every year, sometimes hosting my siblings and sometimes going over to their houses. I would sometimes call and do the whole “phone passed around” thing. 

And he’s not there this year. 

I felt similarly on New Year’s Eve, though it resonated in a different way. I thought, “This is my first New Year’s Eve without my dad being alive.” And I have so many memories of New Year’s Eves in the past. 

Again, what do I care about the Super Bowl? Why am I crying about him missing get-togethers that I never went to? That he and my mom usually left by halftime? I know the answers are right there and not very deep. Because he’s gone and it’s really hard and sad. 

(My mom told me yesterday that Chris and Jennifer—bless them!—were going to come by the house, bring some food, and watch the first half there.)

Paranormal Activity

7 February 2026: Had a great time this afternoon with Tim, Kevin, Hannah, and Cory. After a really delicious lunch in Rockville, we headed to DC to see Paranormal Activity, a new, original play that doesn't have much in common with the film except its focus on a haunted couple and their home. I think this is the first "horror" play I've ever seen (though scenes in certain plays have certainly scared me in the past). Pretty cool experience!

Still in the midst of these very busy (and very cold!) days, it felt great to just do something fun and different with four of my favorite people. 

"Uncle Christopher's"

6 February 2026: What a blast I had today teaching Alice Cary's "Uncle Christopher's" for the first time. This story has stuck with me since I first read it for my entry on Cary in my book and I was eager to see what students would think. I knew it would be a good discussion when students were ready to tell me as I came in the room how mad it made them. Score!

WFH day...

5 February 2026: A long WFH day is exactly what I needed. I made good progress on a bunch of fronts which is letting me breath easier as I move through these busy weeks. 

The extra reward: a new episode of The Pitt. 

Talking sports with boys...

4 February 2026: Long-ass day--like, 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 p.m. with essentially only an hour of alone time to get some work done. But? A pretty good day overall.

I just want to focus on/write about 90 minutes of it here: the time I spent in conferences with three ENGL 102 students. I had a blast talking with these three young men about their essays--one on Nikola Jokic, one on Mark Cuban and the Mavericks, and one on VJ Edgecomb. 

I didn't know much about the first and third topics, but I learned a lot (and am now obsessed with Jokic). It's just fun to listen to students talk about their passions and help them write about them.

Some quick math shows me that I spent 270 minutes today teaching and conferences--out of 720 minutes on campus. Those 270 minutes remind me of why it's all worth it. 

Back to trivia...

3 February 2026: Back at trivia for the first time in three weeks (funeral two weeks ago; snow cancellation last week). As always, feels good to be back with those folks. Even sweeter, the team that is always so kind and generous gave me a card, balloon, and a box of chocolate to celebrate my award. 

I was feeling so overwhelmed today but half-way through the game, I realized all of that had dropped away. Even now that I am home and looking at my lists of things to do, I still feel better than I did earlier. 

So yeah--this continues to be a great Tuesday night gig. 

Another W

2 Feburary 2026: Long Monday, but happy to end the public part of my day watching the women's basketball team score another win. They are still just 6-13, but that's better than last year--and you can see them coming together in cool ways. It's fun to watch. 

Loyalty Tournament

1 February 2026: Heading into a busy stretch of weeks--presidential candidates on campus (with five dinners I have to go to in the next ten days), lecturer candidates here, too, student conferences, etc. I can feel the tension creeping in because the work piles aren't getting smaller.

Even still, I am so glad I spent a few hours today helping out at the Flagship Trivia "Loyalty Tournament," where teams who play a lot but don't win a lot get their own special game. It was a lot of fun to be around these folks. They play because they have fun and they like being with each other. I didn't know most of the teams (I only know the ones who play at Rumsey and Bender's), but I felt so warmly towards all of them.

Score another win for one additional never-completed project: Project Balance. 

Long month...

31 January 2026: As we close out what feels like an exceptionally long January, our Arctic spell continues and most folks' yards have what are essentially ice-rinks on them. That's been hard, but at least the sun has been shining.

Cleaned the house this morning, did lunch and a movie this afternoon (The Bone Temple, which I found gory, scary, hilarious, and quite moving), and have been working on and off since then (mostly on). 

Work keeps coming. That's mostly good, but it is tiring (mentally) and the list is making me anxious.

***

On the phone with my mom today, she told me how the funeral home delivered a book they had made with pictures of my dad. 

When she asked me "What's new with you?" I couldn't answer her at first. I didn't want her to know I was fighting tears. 

But I had to say something even as I knew my voice would betray me.

"That just got me," I said so softly that I couldn't believe she heard me. 

"I know," she said. "It's very hard."

Later she said, "You know what's hard? Cooking for one."

Send Help

30 January 2026: Felt good and normal to leave campus at 3:00 on a Friday to go see a movie and grab some dinner after. Send Help is a lot of fun, too. 

It keeps on coming...

29 January 2026: Spent a lot of this work-from-home day feeling good about making progress on several fronts. 

NEA grant? Submitted. 

ENGL 101 assessement? Just waiting for the go-ahead to drop the final pieces into place. 

Studies in American Humor work? Nothing outstanding. 

ENGL 101 textbook revision? Got the ball rolling yesterday and sort of in a holding pattern for now

So...yeah. Feeling okay. 

I even thought to myself, "Wait...after I finish this list, is there really only one big thing (not teaching related) I need to tackle?"  (A manuscript to review for my new-ish Associate Editor gig with McFarland.)

Was low-key giddy at the very idea. But the "low-key" is probably because I sensed that I was wrong...

Late in the afternoon, I remembered something...a grant application for NWP. 

And a thousand small teaching-related things...

No rest for the weary, but on we go, I guess...

No thawing in sight, but...

28 January 2026: We are still locked in a cold spell and this snow and ice isn't really going anywhere, but I did venture out in the car twice today (for the first time since Saturday afternoon). Still kind of dicey once you get off main roads, but a bit of freedom felt pretty good. 

Even better? Looks like classes will be normal on Friday. (I don't teach on Thursday, but campus opens at 9:00 then.)