Cheerleading works...

30 November 2022: A student who transferred to Shepherd just this semester and has been taking two classes with me has struggled a bit. She's so insecure about her abilities but has finally come around to asking for help and coming to office hours. I think it's making a difference. And I have been telling her (again and again), "You can do this! You have good ideas!"

Today she gave me a little Christmas gift. Inside was a very nice card that read, in part, "You believed in me better than my own parent." The thing is, I don't think I did that much, so she's probably being too nice. (And it makes me feel bad that she didn't feel supported before.) 

But my goodness: what an absolute privilege is it sometimes to do this work. 

"My sensitivity is my strength."

29 November 2022: This post's title comes from something one of the students in our GWST 201 class shared today as we talked about their reflective essays and started to wrap up the semester. Some excerpts from other students: 

• "I'm writing about how this class gave me confidence."
• "Sometimes you have to break the rules to make a change."
• "I realized I have to hold myself accountable when I see injustice."
• "I learned that I have to keep learning."
• "This class helped me understand my past experiences better."

What a gift these students are! 

"...while you rest"

28 November 2022: I've had the absolute pleasure of having an older student (late 60s/early 70s) audit my Victorian Literature class this semester. He's been wonderful--and insists on doing all the work (which he doesn't have to do.) 

Today, he handed in his critical essay (early, by the way). He said, "A little something to do in your free time," and then laughed. The he added that when he was a boy, he used to work for his uncle. When he would take a break, his uncle would hand him more work to do, saying, "Here's something for you to do while you rest." We laughed some more, even as I thought about how much I do that to myself: "Here's a task you can work on when you are watching TV. Here's the thing I can read when I take my bath before bed." Good joke that also made think a bit. 

Flying Solo

27 November 2022: I haven't finished it yet--50 pages to go--but I am enjoying Linda Holmes' Flying Solo so much. When it was my turn to pick the book for the newly revived book club that I am in, I really wanted something lighter and fun. Boy, does this fit the bill. It's delightful. And again, I have that feeling of the book upstairs on the nightstand, tugging at me to get back to it. The best--especially at a time when everything else feels so hard. 

Today's (cute) obstacles and distractions...

26 November 2022: Trying to get some work done today and avoiding the office for two reasons: 1) there's a big old football game on campus, which means parking is a challenge and 2) I want to keep an eye on Wesley. Wesley is completely fine with this development, as he is more clingy than he has been in some time. Either that, or he's as clingy as he's always been and I just too willing to indulge him. Regardless, when he's up in your face like this, it's hard to get work done.

How can one write under these conditions, with his little face tucked into my hand?

How can one type in these conditions, with his little paw on the touchpad and his slumber so easily distrubed?

Veronica is also distracting, albeit in different ways. Snapped these earlier today, when gently yelling at her NOT to chew the decades-old fake-flowery thing in this Thanksgiving decoration that used to be my nana's. I ended up winning this battle, but I think it was because I looked away and if she can't play a mind game with me, sometimes she just gives up.

Having just very gently and and successfully relocated Wesley to the couch, I am going to move upstairs to try to get some work done there. 

This is all faux complaining, of course. Blessed and grateful for these adorable, distracting obstacles. 

"Are there any lives of women?"

25 November 2022: Just a little excerpt from Stowe's The Pearl of Orr's Island: Mara asks Mr. Sewell about Plutarch's Lives, "Are there any lives of women?" He answers, "No, my dear...in the old times, women did not get their lives written, though I don't doubt many of them were much better worth writing than the men's."

Joan D. Hedrick uses this passage and the epigraph to Harriet Beecher Stowe: A Life, which is a pretty terrific choice in so many ways.

Thanksgiving 2022

24 November 2022:

His biggest (cat) fan...

23 November 2022: I feel like we are getting close to the end with Wes and I kind can't bear to type about it right now. (He's still eating and purring and happy, but there are some new signs.) 

I can list so many ways this will be crushing, but I am sad right now thinking about how Veronica will miss him. It's wild because he is so mean to her and she has to sneak up to get close to him. She jumped up here after he was settled and kind of asleep. If she gets too close, he might hiss at her. But she is tenacious. She will get up and follow him out of a room. She tries so hard. It's too much to think about her without him. 

She'll be okay. I'll be okay. But it will be hard. 

Basketball time...

22 November 2022: Lots and lots on my mind today, but an unquestionably good part of the day was watching the women's basketball team play their home opener. They didn't win--it's a rebuilding year, so it will be a rough one--but it was so great to see them back in action. Lately, it seems so much threatens to overwhelm me, but seeing those women play is an unqualified "good" and gives me a couple hours of peace.

The Menu

21 November 2022: Snuck away from papers to grade, administrative work to do, and housework to get done to see The Menu today. What a fun, weird movie! Had a blast watching it. 

Home to my boy...

20 November 2022: I could have crashed at Tim and Kevin's last night--even brought an overnight bag (at their insistence) in case I needed it. But I sure do like sleeping in my own bed. And, I as inelegantly explained to them last night, it's harder and harder to leave Wes alone for long periods. My reasons are almost completely ridiculous and of my own making, but he does get clingy and upset when he's on his own too much. And there are tiny signs we are getting closer to the end. 

So, I came home. And he proceeded to barely notice? Hilarious.

Today, though, he's back to his usual shadow-status. No complaints on my end.

Break hang-out...

19 November 2022: 

[Catch-up post]

Hung out at Tim and Kevin's until late last night. Hannah and Cory were there, too. So fun, so cozy. Perfect way to start off the break.

The kids got jokes...

18 November 2022: Limping (metaphorically) into Thanksgiving Break, but we did it. A whole lot of today (and this week) was spent meeting one-on-one with students working on their final projects. This is important and tiring work, but they keep me on my toes, especially when they have jokes.

Shot of confidence...

17 November 2022: Spent some time today meeting with a student who--like so many students (especially young women!) I work with--just doesn't believe in her abilities. I said to her--and have said to many others like her)--"I wish I could give you an injection of confidence! Get you to see what I see..." 

I see a younger version of myself in her and young women like her. I told her the story about a graduate class I took in my second semester of M.A. work and how out of my element I felt. That class drove me to tears. And even talking about it today, I found myself getting emotional again, the memory was so powerful. 

Of course, there isn't a magical shot to get these women to believe in themselves, but I am hoping that among the voices in their heads telling them they can't do it, they can hear mine, saying they can. 

(Yikes, this is a cheesy post, esp. the end, but I am tired and sentimental this evening.) 

The good stuff...

15 November 2022: Another long day today--completely booked without a break built in from 10:00 until after 5:00. But the last meeting of the day, with a Gender and Women's Studies student, was a highlight. She came in to talk about her paper, but spent twenty minutes after that just wanting to talk about how much the class had been blowing her mind (in good ways). She was nearly giddy talking about it. 

I could feel my eyes looking bleary, with piles of work around me, knowing I'd be on campus until nearly 7:00, but there was no way I was rushing this kid off. This was, after all, the good stuff. 

First flurries...

15 November 2022: Though the morning was nice (if cold), it turned into a rainy day--and then (briefly) a snowy day. And then back to rain. And then, by time I left campus at 6:00, an icy and sleety day. Yuck. But grateful for a warm coat, seat warmers in my car, and a warm house to come home to. 

Walgreen's tonight...

14 November 2022: As I was about to pay for my purchase at Walgreen's this evening, an angry woman came walking over to the register, upset that the pharmacy was closed. In her defense, the hours at this location have changed a lot over the past year, having been cut way back. She was certain they were open until 6:30, but apparently on Monday, they close at 6:00. (The pharmacist actually walked out of the store as she walked in, but she didn't notice.)

"My husband is very, very sick," she said. "He needs these pills." She also did a bit of cursing. It seemed for a moment, that it could get...dramatic. 

I just sort of stepped aside and let her say what she needed to say to the cashier and the other worker on duty. They were both was kind and professional to her, though they couldn't give great advice. The woman on line behind me and I shared some ideas: call the other location that's still open, explain what you need, etc. 

The woman said--more than once--that she wasn't mad at the people at the register. She knew it wasn't their fault. But she was mad and upset and stressed. "He's very, very sick," she said again. And she cursed some more, too. But she thanked everyone and apologized. She was so frazzled and seemed overwhelmed. 

She left saying she would give the Martinsburg location a call. I hope she got what she needed.

After she walked out, I got to pay for my purchase and told the cashier that she and the other worker handled it so well--so kindly. I think some folks might have matched her rhetoric and tone (esp. when she was dropping f-bombs), but they didn't. They were professional, but kind. And whereas I would have, perhaps, in the past, not said a word, especially when she was so heated, I felt better gently trying to help. 

I think I'll remember this for some time--the simple decision everyone made to act with kindness, to not escalate, to try to help. Sure, we maybe do this all the time (I try to?), but it was nice to see it happen in this moment and across the board. 

Will say some prayers for this woman and her husband tonight. 

Interrupting buddy...

13 November 2022: Two Wes posts in a row, but a) they do a good job of capturing a work-filled weekend and b) they do a good job representing two of this three modes these days: sleeping and being sweetly needy and demanding. (The third is begging for food.) 

Honestly can't believe I finished everything on my list and wasn't miserable doing it. 

Sleepy buddy...

12 November 2022: Work-filled day, but a pretty good one, especially with this guy snoozing by my side. 

A decade of Krista...

11 November 2022: Krista turned 10 today, which is hard to believe. When I spoke to her today, I said, "I can't believe it's been ten years since you arrived!" 

"Neither can I!" she said.

"A decade!"

"A decade of Krista!" she added. 

Love that kid so much. 

"Good [electric?] fences make good neighbors..."

10 November 2022: One of the students in GWST today brought up her neighbor as an example of someone whose actions don't always match his politics. "He's racist, homophobic, all that...but he helped me put up my electric fence..." I nearly cried laughing at the very West Virginia take on Frost's "Mending Wall." 

Deep sigh of relief/deep sigh of fatigue

9 November 2022: 

[Catch-up post...]

Stayed up too late Tuesday night following election news once it was clear that the news was going to be good (though still not good enough, of course), which meant that I paid the price a bit on Wednesday. And Wednesday was another long day and I literally forgot to post something--even though it was on my list. Thus, this is a catch-up post. I think it works because it's a pretty good record of Wednesday. Ha.

Election Day

8 November 2022: When will Election Day not fill me with existential dread? Anyway, here's a poem that helped me today even as it makes me sob.

Getting proposals approved...

7 November 2022: Today I met with three of out the five students in my Victorian Lit class whose proposals for their critical essays needed some work before I signed off on them. In other words, the proposals they handed in on Friday had not yet been approved. 

Each of them walked in feeling nervous and scared, I think, but by the time they left, they felt better and even (I hope? think?) energized. These meetings--where we talk about ideas, hammer out a rough outline, and even work on a tentative thesis--are a lot of work but are often so much fun. I get to show them that they have good ideas and hunches, that their interests are valid, and that they have things to say. It rocks. 

The Winter's Tale

6 November 2022: I saw the Rude Mechanicals' production of The Winter's Tale this afternoon and found myself moved to tears--something I wasn't expecting. When Leontes is so cruel--when he refuses to believe the his wife, his advisors, his friends, and even the oracle, even as everyone begs him to--it was too much: the misogyny, the tyranny, the refusal to admit when you are wrong. It's just too real in our modern moment. I saw a production years and years ago when I was at Oxford, but I sure didn't respond to it this way. It's a strange, strange play...perhaps sadly perfect for right now. 

"Someone You Used to Know"

5 November 2022: 

"Or how we used to argue
'Bout who loved who the most. 
Well I guess I won that one
'Cause I still need you so..."

High-impact...

4 November 2022: So cool to have Emma Copley Eisenberg visit my ENGL 301 class today. Talk about a "high-impact learning experience." 

Staying or going...

3 November 2022: Had a great conversation today with my Gender and Women's Studies students about Junot Diaz's "Drown" and that tension between staying and going (or feeling stuck versus escaping) that so many of them are so familiar with as West Virginians. "That's the gift of literature," I said, "that people from rural West Virginia can relate to a Dominican-American kid in urban New Jersey." (I've blogged about this before. It comes up often in literature classes, in fact.)

I mentioned that Emma Copley Eisenberg, the author of this year's Common Reading, The Third Rainbow Girl, make a similar point about young West Virginians in her book, specifically voiced by a Shepherd alum (a transgender man towards whom the place can seem so hostile). Tonight, during the Q&A after her lecture, Eisenberg mentioned that she think cities and rural areas are actually alike in that you often put up with a lot of misery to stay in this place you love. That point seems spot-on to me.

A simple request...

2 November 2022: "May I cut off the head of dead Miss Lucy?” This line from Dracula, as Van Helsing asks Arthur if he can cut off his dead fiancé's head, never fails to make students laugh. The entire section we discussed today in Victorian Lit is wild and so much fun.

"The Revolt of Mother" and "A New England Nun"

1 November 2022: Had a blast today talking about two Mary Wilkins Freeman stories with the GWST class. They are a great group this semester--very understanding of nuance and enthusiastic about the material. It's been a joy working with them.