Long month...

31 January 2026: As we close out what feels like an exceptionally long January, our Arctic spell continues and most folks' yards have what are essentially ice-rinks on them. That's been hard, but at least the sun has been shining.

Cleaned the house this morning, did lunch and a movie this afternoon (The Bone Temple, which I found gory, scary, hilarious, and quite moving), and have been working on and off since then (mostly on). 

Work keeps coming. That's mostly good, but it is tiring (mentally) and the list is making me anxious.

***

On the phone with my mom today, she told me how the funeral home delivered a book they had made with pictures of my dad. 

When she asked me "What's new with you?" I couldn't answer her at first. I didn't want her to know I was fighting tears. 

But I had to say something even as I knew my voice would betray me.

"That just got me," I said so softly that I couldn't believe she heard me. 

"I know," she said. "It's very hard."

Later she said, "You know what's hard? Cooking for one."

No thawing in sight, but...

28 January 2026: We are still locked in a cold spell and this snow and ice isn't really going anywhere, but I did venture out in the car twice today (for the first time since Saturday afternoon). Still kind of dicey once you get off main roads, but a bit of freedom felt pretty good. 

Even better? Looks like classes will be normal on Friday. (I don't teach on Thursday, but campus opens at 9:00 then.)

Caught on camera...

25 January 2026: All of the dueen the dark-eyed juncos have been all over the feeders out front. Their antics entertained Jo on this snowy day. And the Birdbuddy caught me in the background, clearing the driveway.

We got less snow than the forecast predicted--more sleet/less snow. Ended up with about 8 inches, I think. Apparently if it had been all snow, it would have been 15-20 inches. I am not complaining, though a long stretch of cold weather means this mess will be around for a while.

Campus is closed tomorrow and Tuesday. We'll see about Wednesday.

Incoming snow...

24 January 2026: What a moment we are in right now. A few hours ago, I was sitting at the women's basketball game, watching them win a thrilling upset against Kutztown. Looked at my phone and saw that ICE has killed another person--a VA nurse--in Minnesota. 

Walked home holding these two realities in my mind--folks playing and watching basketball while in another state, good people are being killed by the government. I want to scream. I want to shake the people who can make this stop. 

Settled in at home waiting for the snow to start. I hate being snowed in, but I think the low-level sadness and anxiety that's been omnipresent is dulling the usual snow-flavored blues...like they can't even really break through in their normal way. They are still there...just dulled.

Telling myself that being snowed in--assuming the heat pump and the pipes hold out--can be a good thing. Work to catch up on, stuff to watch, time with the girls. 

None of that, though, helps our brothers and sisters in Minnesota and our brothers and sisters disappearing from streets all over the country. 

It's just so much. 

How I've Spent My Snow Day...

12 February 2025: Proofing, proofing, proofing. Course prep for Friday. Emails. A million other things. And proofing, proofing, proofing. 

(Shoveling took maybe 5 minutes, plus the 10 my neighbor came over to chat in the driveway.)

Jo cannot believe we are still doing this. Lots of trying to disrupt and lots of protest napping.

Snow day!

11 February 2025: For the first time in all of my years at Shepherd, I am unqualifiedly happy about the snow day tomorrow. Due to some pre-planning and serendipity, I've been able to more or less let every class avoid any annoying online "learning" to keep us on schedule. Just telling 80 students to enjoy their snow day? Feels good!

And the bigger bonus? I get to keep working on Round Three of proofing the book. All. Day. Long. 

Proofing and indexing...

19 January 2025: The snow set in by 10:00 or so and made my walk really pretty--and slip-free, since it hadn't started sticking yet. That changed by 1:00 when it really poured and piled up. I think we've got five inches or so? I cleared the first three or four from the driveway around 5:00. The rest can wait until tomorrow, though Lord knows it will be pretty icy by that point. (Now a few days of bitter cold sets in and I am trying really hard not to let that get in my head too much.)

Otherwise, a productive and pleasant day mostly inside. Some chores, some TV, and some work on the book's proofs and index. 

Boy, I have been worried about the index and the proofing since the start. Fortunately, though, I think I have figured out the big intellectual puzzles of the index. (Not surprisingly, not that much of a puzzle. Just had to start it and figure out what I wanted to do.) 

Unfortunately, I am so anxious about missing mistakes as I proof. I've been reading the pages aloud to myself, a strange activity. With some cringing, I am proud to say that I do think the writing is pretty good. That's satisfying. But I keep telling myself, "slow down, be careful, don't miss anything." That part's not fun.

Anyway, about thirty-seven pages done. Two-hundred and sixty or so to go.

Bit by bit...

One of Them Days

18 January 2025: A low-key lovely Saturday, I think? Got up early-ish (for a Saturday), ran some errands, did my weekly housework, and even started working on the book proofs and edits. By mid-afternoon, my to-do list was pretty much done. 

Since the weather is looking bad for tomorrow, Amy and I decided to see a movie today instead of tomorrow (alas, no free popcorn from Regal on "National Popcorn Day" tomorrow). We saw One of Them Days, which was silly and funny and really hit the spot. It was also kind of cool to see a movie celebrating Los Angeles, particularly Black communities in Los Angeles, at this moment in time, with so much of the city suffering. 

After the movie, we had dinner (where I would have made my dad proud, using a pretty good coupon). Back home now, watching Brooklyn 99 reruns and just relaxing. Again, usually, with a snowstorm approaching, my mood might be more somber, but so far, it's okay. 

These kinds of posts are, I know, kind of boring and "laundry lists" that don't take too much creativity or thinking, but every once in a while, I don't mind them as kind of snapshots. 

Saturday snapshots...

11 January 2025: Some Saturday snapshots: a message I found in the new snow and a new box cycled in for the cats. (Guess what was in it.)

Better (snow) angels...

6 January 2025: I mean, at the risk of saying something very obvious that is also a ridiculous understatement, it is surreal watching certification of an election where the winner stoked a violent insurrection against the government. It's just infuriating, bewildering, and so very sad. 

Not good vibes for a snow day, which already aren't good vibes day for me.

But, as is so often the case, the Lord sends hope and light. 

As I did a first pass on my driveway this morning, my neighbors Pam and Ann came over to help me finish up. I told them I could handle it, but they insisted. As we finished up, I explained that I was grateful on this otherwise grim day for a reminder of good people doing good things for others. (We think alike, thank goodness.)

When I was done, I took a shorter version of my usual walk (thanks, YakTrax, as always). Of course, the first house that I passed was Pam and Ann's. Imagine my delight as I saw them--two women in their 50s--laying in the front yard, hands clasped, making snow angels. I yelled over, "I don't think you could be any cuter if you tried!" 

Then, maybe a half a block up, another neighbor--definitely in her late 50s/early 60s--passed me, walking back from shoveling someone else's driveway. At first, from far away, I thought she was another teenager, out making a few bucks. I told her as much and she said, "Thanks for the compliment!"

Anyway, goodness endures. People still take care of each other. We laugh. We play in the snow. We live and we love. It's the only option.

In for the night and beyond...

5 January 2025: After helping at the trivia championship game this afternoon, I am home now, likely not leaving (in a car, anyway) until Tuesday at the earliest. I hate it, but it is what it is and I have nowhere I have to be, a warm home, food to eat, work to do, TV to watch, and Veronica and Jo to keep me company. It's good to count blessings and realize you are being silly (even if that's not enough to make you stop being silly). 

Unexpected Snow Day

13 February 2024: For complicated and boring reasons, having campus close all day today when we got more snow than expected is not ideal. 

At the same time, it meant about six fewer hours of meetings that I had to go to.

Then my 11:00 a.m. dentist appointment got canceled and the whole darn day opened up. 

So...I powered through my next entry (admittedly a short one) and it's done. 

February 13 and two entries done for this month. Feels very good and the vibes of this whole week have taken a change since yesterday.

At the same time, I am lowkey bummed to be plan-less on Galentine's Day. I just wish I had more "hanging out" friends. It bums me out--enough that I don't even like to say it out loud. (Hilariously, "I Can't Make You Love Me" is playing on Pandora as I type this.)

But if I work on it for a bit, I can remind myself of the good vibes that I wrote about above and of the fact that I do have a couple gals here to hang with. Well, Jo, anyway. (BabyCat also lives here.) In a little bit, I'll finish the rest of my work up here in the office and head downstairs to chill with them both. Today, that and a completed entry is enough. 

Snow ducks...

19 January 2023: I think Jane got me this duck snowball (?) maker two years ago and I had no chance to use it. Busted it out today for the fresh snow that fell, canceling classes for another day. 

After all these years, when it comes to groups of youngsters, I still think in fives.  

Snow day...

16 January 2024: We got about 3 or 4 inches of snow here last night into today, enough to delay and eventually close campus. So, that means it's been pretty quiet. I helped my neighbor shovel the driveway of the older couple of who lives across the street and then he helped me finish mine. The snow is the kind that just pushes very easily, so it wasn't hard. Still, extra hands make the work go faster. It felt very, well...neighborly.

Then I walked up to school to do a bit of work, including a Zoom call with my practicum students. Headed back home, watched some TV, did some reading. Making dinner right now. Will probably watch some more TV, take my bath, read for fun, and get to bed early-ish. 

That's about it. Didn't get everything on my "to do" list done, but I am going to give myself a break here in the name of a gosh-darn snow day. (Plus, finished my latest entry super quickly on Monday, so I feel a bit more entitled to breathe. Ten more to go!)

Snowy day...

6 January 2024: If we have to have a snowy day, I am okay with it happening on a Saturday. Took my walk early (thank you, YakTrax), worked on finishing up my next entry (all done!), walked up to the basketball game (thank you again, YakTrax), and got all of my chores done. Having the game to walk to helped my mood quite a bit--it kept me from feeling so isolated, which a big reason I don't like snow. Settled in now for some TV and maybe some reading before bed. So...a good snowy day. 

Snowy Sunday walk

 12 March 2023: Even though I wanted to stay away from campus all weekend, I found myself up there getting a couple of hours of work done. Then, just after the snow started falling, I set out of my usual "when I'm on campus" walk through town. This isn't the best picture, but I liked the idea of stopping in one of my favorite spots for a "seasonal/walking shot" to take in the beauty. The snow won't come to much--and I think that we might just go a whole seaosn without a signifcant snowfall--but it was still really pretty and invigorating.

First flurries...

15 November 2022: Though the morning was nice (if cold), it turned into a rainy day--and then (briefly) a snowy day. And then back to rain. And then, by time I left campus at 6:00, an icy and sleety day. Yuck. But grateful for a warm coat, seat warmers in my car, and a warm house to come home to. 

Surprise April snow...

18 April 2022: Same spot as this post, just three days later.

Got home around 8:15 and here's the view of the house. Come back, Spring!

A May Moment...

16 January 2022: Weird day here. Went to campus early to get some work done there because I wanted to get out of the house (and back) before the impending storm. Got some decent work done and finished my weekly "Book Work To-Do List," a completely discrete weekly list (only book stuff!) that I started this semester. Washed the blackboards in the classrooms, too, for the first time what has to have been a year or more. Took a long, cold walk around town. Headed home. All of that felt good and satisfying. 

The snow started a bit after 2:00. It's pretty, but I guess. And there won't be too much. And tomorrow's a holiday, so the schedule won't be disturbed. These are all good things. Watched some TV, did some reading. Puttered around. Felt okay. Felt bad. Lather, rinse, repeat. Sunday blues, COVID-winter-style. 

It's cold and dark and I miss the sun and people and normal, which seems so distant. 

I think this every time the weather is extreme--standing outside in the blazing heat or in a foot of snow: "It is hard to believe that it can ever be cold enough to snow a foot" or "It's hard to believe it will ever be summer again..." One spot. One moment. And just six months later, it can be so different. 

Maybe that's why I've been thinking about this video on and off all day. May 27, 2021: not that long ago, but even then, I knew it was, as I wrote, a "Moment." So much feels different and worse right now. (I want to be clear that I mostly mean right now, because I know my emotions are mercurial.) It's cold and dark and gloomy. The windows and doors are closed, though drafty. Bing is gone and that still hurts so much. Wes is still here and sweet and such a blessing, but he's blind and clingy and there's a tinge of desperation to him so often. Veronica is lonely and doesn't understand he can't see her, so he hisses at her when she scares him. Omicron is raging and I have spent this weekend pretty damn alone. Was supposed to volunteer for an MLK Day of Service tomorrow, but COVID and snow put a stop to that. 

May seems so far away. Look at these posts from then. It's actually kind of stunning: first movies back in the theater, first trip to NY in over a year, happy hours and meals with friends, masks coming off, spring flowers in the ground. Hope and life and light.  

I know that I am stewing and wallowing. Trying to switch my brain to gratitude mode or at least distracted mode. And I've got an 8:00 video chat with my RC girls (and Mike), so that will help. But I miss May. 

Finishing March on a snow day...

31 January 2021: Got up a bit early (for a Sunday) and there was already a dusting of snow on the ground. Started my walk by 7:30 and it wasn't bad at all (except for when the snow would blow right in my face). Once again, I sing the praises of Yaktrax.

After I got back, I took a shower, did a bit of cleaning, and it's been reading, TV, and occasional shoveling since then. Not bad.

I finished Geraldine Brooks' March today, which is a beautifully written book that I enjoyed quite a bit. It's a book that you sit with kind of uneasily at times, as Brooks gives us, in March, an earnest and sympathetic protagonist who nonetheless comes across as out-of-touch, too idealistic, and frustrating at times. I was frustrated with the book at times, wondering if Brooks realized this. Then she does something really unexpected (at least to me) and welcome about two hundred pages in that made me get very excited. And the ending made me cry. When you think about it, it's quite a flex to try to riff on Little Women, much less foregrounding a man, but Brooks knows what she's doing. 

By the way, this book sat on a table in my bedroom for at least 10 years. Feels good to have finally read it.