Norfolk Reunion, Last Day

25 July 2021: Seven years ago, I was with some of these dear friends the day I learned about Ryan's death. In the aftermath of that, this friend group really helped sustain me, as they have through every challenge. We've sustained, supported, and taken care of each other, including when we lost Shannon. It was a kind of special synergy to be with them again this morning before we headed home.

"The Shannon Niehaus Lobe Fan Club"

4 October 2018: It's been just over a year since Shannon died. It is still hard to believe. But a final gift she gave my Roanoke friends and I was making us all closer, putting us back in daily conversation with each other. Back when she first got sick, the rest of us started this group text (actually on Messenger) and named it "The Shannon Niehaus Lobe Fan Club." That thread is still going strong and continues to be a place where we share updates and stories of our days, get support and advice from each other, and make each other laugh. Tonight is no exception. One of us texted that she needed some good vibes. The rest of us happily sent them her way. And now we are texting about silly stories from years past. The thing is, I didn't realize how much I needed this tonight until the messages started coming in.

What a blessing to have these women in my life 24 years (!) after we met.

One year ago...

28 May 2018: One year ago, Shannon celebrated her 40th birthday with a fierce determination to make it a great year. She was going to push herself to embrace light, positivity, and fun. She posted a beautiful, happy picture of herself saying as much. Just months later, she was gone. Looking back, it is still so stunning, unfair, cruel...almost absurd. Today I am trying to celebrate my dear friend's life and be grateful for what she gave us. But it is hard...

Couch shopping...

20 January 2018: [Catch-up post!] After a lot of searching, Mike--with help from Jane and I--found the perfect couch for his place. So grateful to have had the chance to help him out, spend some time with him, laugh a lot, and focus on the future with an eye (and lots of love) towards the past and memories of Shannon.

"I'll Be Seeing You"

1 October 2017:

"I'll be seeing you
In every lovely summer's day
In everything that's light and gay
I'll always think of you that way" --Billie Holiday

After I got back home today, I laid down on the couch and sort of half drifted off. Bing and Wes were kind enough to join me. And this song came on...kind of a perfect song to half drift off to while thinking about the loss of a dear friend and remembering good memories.

Saying goodbye...

30 September 2017: "We are gathered here not because Shannon died, but because she lived." --the celebrant at Shannon's service yesterday. I found those words very comforting on what was a very difficult day. Also more comforting than I can put into words: spending the day with my dear friends Jane, Beth, Allison, and Kate.

Shannon...

28 September 2017: "She could tell a great story..." --Jane today, on the phone with me, talking about our amazing, wonderful, irreplaceable friend, Shannon.

Shannon died last night. For me, the words to write about all of this aren't here yet. But on an otherwise sad and very hard day, those moments when we talked about her and the good times made me smile.

"You Got a Friend"

27 September 2017:

"If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow,
keep your head together and call my name out loud.
Soon I will be knocking upon your door." --James Taylor (and really Carole King!), "You've Got a Friend"

This came on while I was at Wednesday lunch group, thinking about Shannon. Made me stop mid-sentence.

"It's who you love..."

25 September 2017: "It's not about what you do. It's who you love." --Cat Grant on Supergirl explaining how you find happiness in life.

Look, it ain't a perfect or especially profound answer or explanation, but it's one that I am really appreciating tonight. It's been a long day. I've only been home for a bit and am decompressing after a hard day. Tonight I am thinking about the people I love--one person in particular, my dear friend Shannon, whose health has taken a very bad turn. I am tired and sad and words are failing me, but that's about all I've got for now.

A laugh when I needed it...

13 September 2017: "I mean, it had to get old after awhile?" --a student in my Bible as Literature class, half-heartedly making the argument that Jacob (in Genesis) might have grown tired of his two wives and their two servants demanding to sleep with him all the time.

If you haven't read Genesis in a while, you should. Lots of crazy stuff happens, stuff that they don't focus too much in Sunday School. We've have fun talking about it in class and this student's comment today cracked me up.

I feel like I post all the time about how my students and how being in the classroom makes me happy even on the worst day. I am a bit like a broken record, I suppose. But it is just true. And today, while my mind was on my friend, this bit of laughter was especially appreciated.

By the way, now that she has made the news public, I can stop being sort of coded about it all: my dear friend Shannon has lung cancer. It's awful, terrible, shocking, devastating news. But she is strong and fighting. She's amazing.

For Shannon...

Update: it's working now. I had to re-up-load it, and delete the old one, but it "processed" right away.

A "thank-you note" of sorts for Aunt Shannon, from Bing and Wesley. Also worth noting: how quickly play turns into fighting for these two--play fighting, yes, but still...



They really like the new toy, Shannon. On Sunday morning, one of them had dragged it all the way upstairs and left it at the foot of the bed.

Visiting Allison...

Last week, when Shannon drove up for a short visit, we took a quick trip about an hour North to visit with Allison and her family. And we took Mini-Jane along. Some pictures:


Shannon, Cameron, and Allison. Matthew (Allison's son) and Greg (Allison's fiance) were there, too, but they both kind of disappeared after dinner.


Cameron on her scooter, with Mini-Jane riding along. Right about this time, Cameron started asking me, "Can I keep her?" I had to be the bad guy and say no.

I snapped this one when Cameron was shaking her head "No," I think in response to me asking for Mini-Jane back. As you can tell from her smile, though, she thought it was all pretty funny.

So that about sums up my time with Mini-Jane. In the next couple of days, I'll put her in the mail and she'll spend some time with the Tran family and baby Abigail.

Greensboro Visit: Around town...

There are certain almost mandatory stops on any return trip to Greensboro. One of these is, of course, Old Towne. We got there at 5 on Friday and I am pretty sure we left after midnight. Wow.


Vogel, David, and Sara at Old Towne. (It's still light out at this point.) Hmmm...no more pictures from that night. Weird.


Another required stop: Thai Garden on Tate Street. Here's Vogel and David after lunch.


And look who came with me! It's Mini-Jane! (Look for her to be popping up in a few more posts...) Here she poses with my yummy leftovers (Chicken Pad Thai, of course.)

(Who the heck is mini-Jane? Well, she's like our own version of Flat Stanley, handmade by Shannon, and a stand-in for the real Jane, who is off doing great work in Azerbaijan. You can read about some of mini-Jane's previous adventures here, here, here, and here. So far she's been to Northern VA, Richmond, New Jersey and Arkansas. Now I've got her and find that she might be getting kind of bored. My life isn't nearly as exciting as the lives of my friends. I also think I might be a bit crazy, because I think I purposely shielded mini-Jane from the more debauched aspects of the Greensboro visit. That is crazy on at least two counts: 1) it's a freaking doll and 2) the real Jane is all about the occasional bout of debauchery.)

Dr. Heidi: World Traveler

Did you know I am currently touring Azerbaijan? That's me on the top, with Jane and Shannon below. Read all about it here.

Time wasters with weird pay-offs...

Actually, I found this link by doing a google image search* for my name.

Check out what it says under "Editorial Reviews." That's me, baby!

Yes, yes...I'll get back to work...

*That's a fun and often really weird thing to do. For instance, if you type my friend Shannon's first and last name into the google image search (in quotation marks), you get one picture--of our friend Heather's pregnant belly. Bizarre.

RCs Class of '99 catches the blogging bug

As I mentioned below, my good friends Heather and Burt have a blog for their son, Will, who at this point is playing coy. (His due date was June 14 and they are still waiting for him to show up). But although they are the first, they aren't my only college friends who have recently jumped onto the blogging bandwagon.

Jane, one of my best friends in the world, has just started AzerbaiJane, a blog all about her experience in the Peace Corps. She leaves on the 24th to start her training before flying to Azerbaijan on June 26th. What she writes will definitely be worth checking out--she's an awesome, interesting, and fun person and I sure she'll be able to capture that all in her writing as she does this very important work. By the way, isn't her blog's name awesome? I wonder what amazingly clever and witty person came up with it.

Then there's my good friend, Shannon, who keeps a blog about her cats, especially an epileptic stray she recently took in (you can't make this stuff up!). She hasn't updated it in awhile, but it's a good read, especially if you are a cat fan.