"Crowded Table"

30 April 2020: Got genuinely teary watching this video.

“...and bring us back together when the day is done.”



Also check out this great little piece from CBS This Morning.

A genuine WHOOP...

29 April 2020: "Wipeout Revival Hits TBS, Balls and All"

This headline made me WHOOP with joy. (I am a person with *diverse* tastes.)

True story: last weekend, I noticed that a local station is airing reruns at 2:00 a.m. on Sunday mornings. I immediately set the DVR to record them all. So, I think I made this happen?

Thanks, tall dude!

28 April 2020: Today was a weirdly hard day. Nothing dramatic...just very few pure moments of happy and lots of moments of frustration or gloom. (Another cloudy/rainy day didn't help.)

But there was one great moment that took place during my now fortnightly* trip to the grocery store: a genuine firefighter (judging by what his t-shirt said) reached up on a high shelf for me and got me the specific kind of chocolate I couldn't reach. Talk about a hero!

*fun to bust out a pretentious word I remember learning when I was like seven and have never had a genuine occasion to use.

"Wicked Love"

27 April 2020:

"You said I think too much
You said I always mess it up
It was so easy to believe
I've always said the same things

Stay out, honey, I can see you're wicked
And I don't want your wicked love
Don't need what makes me feel addicted
I don't want your wicked love"



These days, I often find my mental powers quite depleted by early in the evening. So, I am okay with letting music do the talking...

A little note...

26 April 2020: Found a little note at the end one of my YA Lit student's projects. Made me smile.

The project is pretty cool, by the way, reassuring me that this isn't just about trying to get a good grade. She's created a board game based on Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe.

"Dimming of the Day"

25 April 2020:

Virtual Happy Hour

24 April 2020: Celebrated the end of the craziest and toughest academic year of my life today by raising a glass with Tim, Carrie, James, Carrie, and Kevin over Zoom. I mean, there's still a lot of grading left to do, but simply getting to the end of classes feels like a tiny triumph worth celebrating.

Hang Up and Listen

[Catch-up post]

23 April 2020: I am not sure how I missed posting yesterday. I think I just took my eyes off my to-do list. I would also throw some blame at man responsible for Lysol having to issue a statement about it not being safe to inject their products into your body. Dear Lord.

But I want to give a little shout-out to the dudes who host the Hang Up and Listen podcast at Slate. There are no sports right now, which is a bummer, but these guys keep the top-notch content coming. The two "Afterballs" on this week's episode--one a genuinely thrilling recounting of Stefan's kid's online Scrabble tournament and the other a heck of a micro-story about a 1920s boxer--were flat-out delightful.

Zoom crasher...

22 April 2020: First attempt at a synchronous class today--an optional review session for my ENGL 204 course. Went pretty well until somebody crashed it. Actually, the students were like, "We want to see him!"

Quarantine Care-package...

21 April 2020: Care packages from good friends (in this case, Heather) look very different these days, but these contents make me very happy.

At the end of my commute...

20 April 2020:

Look at that little face waiting for me to come downstairs, pretending she doesn't care.

Good Girls

19 April 2020: I was looking for something new to watch that wasn't too intense or heavy. I started Good Girls today and, so far, it's hitting the spot. Of course, the show takes on some serious topics (lack of decent health care for children, for instance), but it's also funny and binge-able with three amazing female leads. It'll do.

Alumni Weekend 2020

18 April 2020: A different kind of Alumni Weekend this year, but I still celebrated with my favorite crew from the Class of 99.

"No One Has To Know"

17 April 2020: What a week. Found myself looking for the "just right" thing to watch tonight as I try to pretend Friday night's mean anything these days. Finally decided to start the last three episodes of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel that I've been sitting on since December. And darn it if this little number didn't break my heart (in a good way?).

Remembering Mr. Vogel...

16 April 2020:

The other day, one of my best friends lost her father. I can't imagine what this must be like, especially with the world the way it is right now. It is keeping me from being there for her and paying my respect in the usual way. But I've been thinking about him and her and sending them so much love.

Mr. Vogel was a great man. My favorite thing about him was how much he loved his daughter. And, of course, how much she loved him back. It was just delightful to see it.

He really struggled in the end, with dementia taking so much away. But I told her I was sure he always knew how much she loved him right back. I don't think he could have asked for a better daughter, which is, in itself, a tribute to him.

I spent some lovely time at their house in Cape Cod years ago, times I will always cherish. In fact, when I want to find some peace, sometimes I think about the picture above, taken from their back deck. I had that experience because of Mr. Vogel and the kind of man he was. A hard worker, a family man, a generous and kind man. What a blessing he was to the world.

Another day...

15 April 2020: Today found me feeling anxious and down at times. It's hard. Rumblings about how long this could last make me so uneasy.

So when I feel particularly bad, I try to remember the good things. Today, walking back from dropping some forms off on campus, I found myself struck by the beauty of the trees in the yard. I know I've posted about them recently, but this darn dogwood is in full bloom and I could see the gorgeous redbud out back and the sky was so blue and the lawn was so green. "You are so blessed," I told myself.

Look, I'm not going to say that this fixed everything. Even as I type this, I can feel the blues and anxiety setting in again. But just trying to focus on the good stuff for a bit? The light comes in.

Run

14 April 2020: After a long and stressful day (so much to do, and it all takes so long), I watched the first episode of Run. What to say? Merritt Wever is just amazing. I'd watch her do anything. And the show has this electric energy. As the title implies, it just keeps moving in so many ways.

The chemistry between Wever and Dohnall Gleeson is pretty great, too. I do wonder if some of what made me respond to them, though, is this moment we're in. When they touch hands or run through a crowded train, boy do I feel a kind of vicarious longing for human contact. Ha. Best not to think about that too long, I suppose.

"The Way We Love Something Small"

13 April 2020: What a strange day today has been. Felt out of rhythm and step all day. Felt stressed and anxious more than not. Trying to relax this evening. This poem helps. In the little explanation that accompanied it in the poem-a-day email, Kimberly Blaeser explains it:

“This poem comes from a series of similar pieces all called ‘The Way We Love Something Small,’ pieces grounded in an understanding of poetry as an act of attention. Each poem focuses on those heightened moments common to our experience in which a place, sound, personal exchange, natural creatures, even an object suddenly resonates or becomes transformative. While rescuing a newborn mouse, I saw for the first time the pup’s delicate, nearly invisible claws, and writing of that moment illuminated it. Because the poems arise from ‘small’ epiphanies, I use an airy, slight form. I see the pieces in this series as aspiring to an impact similar to haiku: simultaneously grounded in image and allusive, they invite a re-seeing of what is before us.”

Looking around me in this space, a space I am blessed to have, I see all around me small things I love: a glimpse though the window of the redbud tree in full bloom out back; just a piece of BabyCat's white foot as she stretches out nearby (always nearby), but not fully in sight; the streetlight's beam outside, casting a pinkish gold on the blacktop.

So yes...surprise: poetry helps.

16 years of Wes...

12 April 2020: Did you think I wouldn't make a cake for Wesley's Sweet 16? And not walk around all day singing customized versions of "16 Candles" and "Happy Birthday, Sweet 16" to him? It's not like quarantine is making me less of a weirdo. But seriously: so grateful for 16 years of this sweet guy.

My old crew...

11 April 2020: Had my first "grocery store with a homemade mask on" experience today. I hated it. I felt anxious and rushed and just...sad. And it was even more of a bummer because a) I like going to the grocery store--like genuinely enjoy it and b) because I am doing my best to only go every 10-14 days, I was looking forward to this as almost an "outing." (These are weird times.)

So, I was bummed.

Came home, had video/phone conferences with some students, mowed the lawn, graded some papers. It was all okay. Good even.

But what really made my mood lift? Video-chatting with Beth, Jane, Allison, and Heather. What a blessing they are through all of this.

"This is Chance! Redux"

10 April 2020: Listened to this episode of 99% Invisible on my walk this morning. I remember listening to it when it first aired a few years ago and I loved it so much then. As Roman explains in the beginning of this re-airing, in April 2020, it is perhaps even more powerful, a piece that takes you away from our present moment even as you can't help but see connections. And significantly, those connections are uplifting--bits of light and hope for what people are capable of in the face of unexpected tumult.

Right now (appropriate for Good Friday) we are in the midst of that darkness, but the promise of light (and Easter) gives me faith. (Well, I mean, it is because of my faith, but let's not get too "Lutheran Confirmation Class" up in here...)

Blooming out front...

9 April 2020: Little dogwood, doing its thing out front.

Also an anniversary of a kind of big day, one of the best of my life. The 24 hours that started when I heard my name? Magical.

One year ago. So much has changed, but I am still so unbelievably grateful for that day, those 24 hours, the lovely happiness of that spring and early summer, and what it has meant since then. The memories make me smile. 

Co-worker contemplating...

8 April 2020:

So long, Schitt's Creek

7 April 2020: "You'll always be my happy ending." --David to Patrick, in his wedding vows. This line, incredibly sweet and hilarious, sums up some of what I am going to miss about this gift of a show. It has been such a source of light and happiness and a bit of escapism when things were hard.

"Non-Stop"

6 April 2020: The idea haunting this article has been in the back of my mind for weeks now. It is part of what is pushing me to get as much up and running as soon as possible for the rest of the semester. And it's had "Non-Stop" in my head, too. [I could not make this up: this is literally the song playing on my iPod as I write this.]

Quiet, random, big thoughts...

5 April 2020: I don't know what to focus on, so I'll just list some stuff from today.

1) Listened to this episode of Everything is Alive this morning on my walk and adored it. It's sweet, sad, interesting, funny, even a bit romantic (?), and everything that is wonderful about this show.

2) Re-watched Portrait of a Lady on Fire today while getting some work done and surprise: still love it. Then re-watched Phantom Thread while still getting work done. Yeah: still love this one, too. Stopped myself from watching more.

3) Got texts from Tara with pictures of her family checking on my parents. Tara said my mom bounded out of the house (complete with mask that Christian dropped off yesterday) to see the kids. My dad was already outside weeding.  And looking at those pictures, I felt all kind of things, including deep love and sadness. I have no idea when I will see any of them again, which sounds more dramatic than I mean for it to, but it is factually true and that's just strange.

4) Currently re-reading A Tale for the Time Being, which we are starting later this week in American Ethnic Literature. And yeah: still love this one, too. What a perfect time to dip back into it.

5) Put the ipod on shuffle earlier today and this track by the Wailin' Jennys came on. Thinking about  it now, as evening just starts to set in. 

"All o'er the world, as it turns and it turns, the stars twinkle off and on,

And we come and go: away, but never gone."

Checking in with my favorite tree on campus...

4 April 2020: My favorite tree on campus bloomed over the past week while I was mostly away from campus. I snapped some pictures a week ago, when it was kind of gloomy out, but the tree was gorgeous...

Snapped a couple more today, past its peak, but still a beauty.

I don't have anything too profound to say about it. Just grateful for the chance to get these looks at something so lovely that makes me happy every year.

Teaching tip...

3 April 2020: I feel prepared to give exactly *one* piece of advice about shifting to teaching online in the midst of…everything. And it’s this: if you need a break between class meetings or discussion board grading or whatever, I suggest a ridiculous dance break. (Personal experience shows this works for a lot of situations these days.) Today’s numbers included Whitney’s “I Wanna Dance with Somebody,” Paul Simon’s “Obvious Child,” Beyonce’s “Love on Top,” and Stevie Wonder’s “Signed, Sealed, Delivered.” It’s also a great way to entertain/confuse your pets, though mine are getting used to it.

Posted this on Facebook earlier and have been getting great suggestions.

One week down...

Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose.

2 April 2020: Jason Katims on how Friday Night Lights would have addressed the pandemic. This literally made me tear up.

"A Rose for Emily"

4/1/2020: It is kind of thrilling and fun to use the 50 minutes of class time to respond to my students' forum posts. (They have much more time than that to post, though some are doing it during those 50 minutes, too.) Anyway, here's a gem from this morning's discussion of "A Rose for Emily," which I love in part because I feel the same way: "The more I think about this story, the more disturbed I get, which only makes me want to think about it more."