"Closer to You"

30 September 2018: Another lovely Sunday featuring an appearance by this lovely song...

"Someday we might learn to tell the truth
We might even find the fountains of our youth
We all needed something real we all need proof
I just want to be closer to you."

Service learning...

29 September 2018: After I got some work done this morning, Amy and I spent four hours this afternoon doing some service-learning hours with our GWST students at a women's shelter in Martinsburg. The students painted a long hallway on the first floor and Amy and I cleaned four apartments and got them ready for new inhabitants. We closed out our shift organizing piles of donated toiletries. (I loved that part the most because I am, well...me.)

It was such a cool experience. I never really thought about the fact that the people who work at these places often do all of the work and that includes the cleaning and maintenance. To be able to pitch in for just a few hours made a difference in their work load. And I can't stop thinking about the three women who will soon move into those apartments we got ready for them today.

Founders Day 2018

28 September 2018: 

[Catch up post...]

Celebrated Founders Day 2018 with one of my favorite people. After the procession and ceremony, we got take-out Thai, went to my house, and watched a rom-com double feature. Not a bad way to spend a Friday night after a long week.

Look for the light...

27 September 2018: It's been another really rough run of news stories. But, through it all, I have been reminded of the wonderful community of women that surrounds and supports me--and how lucky I am to have them. I am working on a major project and three amazing women I work with--from three different disciplines, none of which is English--have taken time out of their schedules to meet with me individually, give me advice, and encourage me. Their kindness and support makes me hopeful for the students they teach and for the world.

Wasn't in the job description, but...

26 September 2018: In a little while, I am heading back up to campus to judge a Broadway-themed Homecoming lip sync competition. Add this to the list of things I never anticipated being part of my job. And as with so many of the items on that list, this is not a complaint. I mean, part of me has been waiting for this moment my whole life.

More from Jane Eyre

25 September 2019: "We were born to strive and endure--you as well as I: do so." --Jane to Rochester, in Jane Eyre.

What a pleasure to re-read this intense and crazy scene from Brontë's novel. 

"The Fire Thief"

24 September 2018: A good (if a bit strange) day here for the most part. Feeling kind of frustrated by the combination of a busy day and non-stop rain; that's a one-two punch that will keep me from taking a walk for the second day in a row. (I love walking at night, but doing so in a rain like this seems just a bit dangerous. Drivers aren't expecting pedestrians.)

So I was feeling a bit restless/tense, especially when I first got home. This song somehow came to mind. It calmed me down..

"Sometimes a heart can break and make it's own relief
The way a cold dark night invites the fire thief
He wants to show us how
So we can take comfort now
We can take comfort now
We can take comfort now
Leave the light on"

This is certainly a look...

23 September 2018: It's like he is trying to become a meme... (Don't worry. He cheered up in a couple of minutes.) Meanwhile, I had another pretty decent Sunday, working most of the morning and early afternoon, reading (for fun!) in the afternoon, and spending the evening at Amy's for dinner and Pandemic. Not bad...

"Balance" Update #3

22 September 2018: Feeling like today was a pretty good day for Project Balance. (We'll keep workshopping the name. Ha.) Got a lot of work done this morning on a big and intimidating project and finished my course prep for Monday. Then Amy and I spent a couple of hours finalizing revisions for a journal article we've got coming out soon. All of that gave me a good enough excuse to take a long walk with her, go see a movie, and get dinner after. Now I am back home, doing laundry, and taking care of some (albeit work-related) odds and ends.

So I think this is good?

Sigh...

21 September 2018: "No sooner did I see that his attention was riveted on them, and that I might gaze without being observed, than my eyes were drawn involuntarily to his face; I could not keep their lids under control: they would rise, and the irids would fix on him. I looked, and had an acute pleasure in looking,—a precious yet poignant pleasure; pure gold, with a steely point of agony: a pleasure like what the thirst-perishing man might feel who knows the well to which he has crept is poisoned, yet stoops and drinks divine draughts nevertheless." --Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

Working my way through the pre-attic-revelation section of the book again. Continually awed by Brontë's ability to capture so perfectly what this kind of longing and love can feel like. The scene a chapter or so earlier, where Jane tears into herself over ever imagining that Rochester could love her? Brutal.

"On Small Talk"

20 September 2018: Almost on cue, I engaged in some hard core (inner) freaking out today over the precise issues I had convinced myself would be okay the day before. In the midst of all that freaking out, little moments of light and peace would find their way through:

• The distraction of the podcasts I listened to as I mowed the lawn on a rather pretty day. 
• The kindness of a colleague who took time out of her day to not only have lunch with me to talk about a big project I am working on (the source of a lot of this anxiety), but gave me great advice and insisted on paying. (I was going to treat her, but she beat me to it.) 
• The panel I attended tonight where WV teachers (including a beloved former student) talked about why they stay in this difficult, amazing, frustrating, wonderful state. What an inspiring group they are.
• The dinner I had with Amy where she let me get right to the point of tears without making a big deal out of it, basically pretending she didn't notice, which was actually what I needed at that moment. 
• The phone call with Jane, which always works for what ails me. Even more impressive on her part since she was dealing with some sad news about a friend.
• The news that Veronica Mars is coming back.
• And this poem...

"Balance" Update #2

19 September 2018: [Maybe there will be a series of posts on this subject? We'll see...]

I made myself a ridiculously long to-do for today. Like a list that guaranteed coming home to a couple hours of work (or staying in the office until 8:00). And for most of the day, I was plugging along, getting stuff done.

At about 2:00, I got an email from Amy (who was also in the midst of a long and frustrating day) suggesting that we take care of an errand in Martinsburg and then go see a movie we knew would be bad but that she still wanted to see.* I took a look at my list and said, "Yeah. Let's do it."

Still worked until 6:30, but then hopped in her car and off we went. Got home by 9:45 or so, took a walk, sent some emails, watched Jeopardy! on the DVR and, well, here we are. Those items on the list that I didn't get to? Well, they'll get done tomorrow. It will be okay.

*Only $5 at the cheap theater--totally worth it.

American Vandal: Season 2

18 September 2018: Lots of things on my mind lately...big deadlines approaching, to-do lists getting longer. Doing my best to keep my head above water and stay calm. You know what's helped? Season 2 of American Vandal. This show is so freaking smart and funny and the perfect mental break.

These students...

17 September 2018: I attended a presentation today about the generation of students we are seeing in our classrooms these days. I tend to feel a great deal of skepticism towards generalizations about Shepherd students, but darn it if this assertion didn't feel so right: "They want to be involved in something important. They want to change the world for the better. But they may not know how."

Beating those blues back...

16 September 2018: The trick to combating the Sunday blues so far this semester is pretty straightforward. Do something fun. Last week it was Sunday-Nunday. Today, after a productive day work-wise, Amy came over for dinner, a walk, and then a couple rounds of Pandemic. Chase, chase, chase those blues away...