30 June 2020: "I'd already a number of exceptionally kind people on my walk, so many that the kindness was ceasing to be exceptional." --Andrew Forsthoefel, Walking to Listen
Working my way through Forsthoefel's book. The audacity of his project is kind of amazing. But insights like the one above serve as good reminders of something I believe but sometimes forget.
Tuesday, June 30, 2020
Monday, June 29, 2020
"Here for It, or How to Save Your Soul in America"
29 June 2020: "And if ever there was a time to play the national anthem, it's then. It's in this place where something new is being built, where people are united in one goal, with one voice, where the future is hard to make out but, yes, it's there. We're there. Better and more complicated. That's the only country I can survive in. I don't live in that country, but every day by existing, by speaking, by loving, by writing, I make a vow to get there, step-by-step." --R. Eric Thomas
I finished Here for It early today--just after midnight--and closed it with that sad satisfaction that comes at the end of every great book. Thomas finished the book before our current moment of dual (linked) crises, but it is amazingly such a gift for this time. It is so hard not to get bogged down in the hopelessness that seems to surround us right now. But Thomas looks at hopelessness and brings in what has always helped us endure in America--love, family, friendship, joy. Those don't erase the bad parts, but they give us a kind of antidote, or at least to kind of squint into the distance to see something better. That is--and has long been--a profoundly moving part of American identity.
Starting another book today that in some ways couldn't be more different: Walking to Listen, by Andrew Forsthoefel, this year's Common Reading at Shepherd. But already, I can see some connections.
And whose voice was in my head as I read the words quoted above--from Thomas's penultimate chapter, about his wedding? Of course, it was Walt. And whose book does Forsthoefel carry with him on his journey across America? Do I even have to write it?
I finished Here for It early today--just after midnight--and closed it with that sad satisfaction that comes at the end of every great book. Thomas finished the book before our current moment of dual (linked) crises, but it is amazingly such a gift for this time. It is so hard not to get bogged down in the hopelessness that seems to surround us right now. But Thomas looks at hopelessness and brings in what has always helped us endure in America--love, family, friendship, joy. Those don't erase the bad parts, but they give us a kind of antidote, or at least to kind of squint into the distance to see something better. That is--and has long been--a profoundly moving part of American identity.
Starting another book today that in some ways couldn't be more different: Walking to Listen, by Andrew Forsthoefel, this year's Common Reading at Shepherd. But already, I can see some connections.
And whose voice was in my head as I read the words quoted above--from Thomas's penultimate chapter, about his wedding? Of course, it was Walt. And whose book does Forsthoefel carry with him on his journey across America? Do I even have to write it?
Sunday, June 28, 2020
"Better go with the limerick..."
28 June 2020: "There’s a pace and a rhythm between grief and humor. And one of the things I try to show in working-class families is that a lot of the joking and the humorous set-ups are a way to process what you can’t stand—you’ll make a joke of it. I find that a lot and I think it’s a problem in most of Southern writing, because you shift into that headset in which everything instead of being tragic is being funny. The problem is if you take it too far it’s more of a source of contempt and self-hatred—you’ve got to be careful. But it makes the whole difference. And I think that’s true of queers, and I think it’s true of everybody who lives on the edge . . . that slightly canted vision of how the world works: you could cry, you could shoot yourself in the head, or you could turn it into a really nasty limerick. Better to go with the limerick, you know? It’s a survival strategy. And it makes a better writing. Deeper." --Dorothy Allison
I read two really great interviews with Allison today, including the one quoted above and cited below.
Grué, Mélanie. “‘Great Writing Always Sings’: Dorothy Allison Speaks.” Southern Quarterly: A Journal of the Arts in the South, vol. 53, no. 2, 2016, pp. 131–145. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1353/soq.2016.0016.
I read two really great interviews with Allison today, including the one quoted above and cited below.
Grué, Mélanie. “‘Great Writing Always Sings’: Dorothy Allison Speaks.” Southern Quarterly: A Journal of the Arts in the South, vol. 53, no. 2, 2016, pp. 131–145. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1353/soq.2016.0016.
Saturday, June 27, 2020
Hitting "submit"
27 June 2020: Just hit submit on a conference abstract for a paper about Call the Midwife that I've been kicking around in my head for years now. Let's see if it gets accepted, but it feels good to get it out there, at least in abstract form.
Also feeling good about a long phone conversation with Vogel which was ostensibly about getting her to look the abstract over, but as our conversations often do, was also about a million other things.
Also feeling good about a long phone conversation with Vogel which was ostensibly about getting her to look the abstract over, but as our conversations often do, was also about a million other things.
Friday, June 26, 2020
Here For It
26 June 2020: I have been portioning out chapters of R. Eric Thomas's Here For It like delicious treats. It's hard to think of another book in which I've written "ha!" (my annotations are pretty simple) so many times or one that has made me put a star (again, I keep it simple folks) or some double lines for emphasis right after those "ha!" marks. The book is hilarious, smart, moving, and so welcome for times like these. *gestures broadly at everything*
Settled down and made my way through a few more chapters tonight, not long after catching up with some beloved grad school friends on Zoom. This section, where he talks about having brunch with a friend in Spring 2017 (when things were so very bad politically, but wow...we had no idea) and deciding they were going to try to find moments of joy, feels so important to me tonight: "We are fighting against nihilism itself. We are fighting to care. What makes you happy or sad or brings you joy or makes you feel anything at all--it matters."
Settled down and made my way through a few more chapters tonight, not long after catching up with some beloved grad school friends on Zoom. This section, where he talks about having brunch with a friend in Spring 2017 (when things were so very bad politically, but wow...we had no idea) and deciding they were going to try to find moments of joy, feels so important to me tonight: "We are fighting against nihilism itself. We are fighting to care. What makes you happy or sad or brings you joy or makes you feel anything at all--it matters."
Thursday, June 25, 2020
Thirst Aid Kit returns...
25 June 2020: After a hiatus that started in April--and that I was really worried was going to be permanent--Thirst Aid Kit returned. This episode, featuring Jason Matzoukas, was such a welcome treat. I was also really struck by the way Jason talked about his COVID-age life, too, especially in the beginning. Well worth a listen!
Wednesday, June 24, 2020
Tuesday, June 23, 2020
Cavedweller
23 June 2020: "Oh, baby, more has been ruined by hot and stupid than people ever want to admit." --Delia, in Dorothy Allison's Cavedweller
I finished this novel tonight, as thunderstorms roll in and out. Lots on my mind, but this little moment of wisdom made me chuckle.
I finished this novel tonight, as thunderstorms roll in and out. Lots on my mind, but this little moment of wisdom made me chuckle.
Monday, June 22, 2020
Sunday, June 21, 2020
Slow Burn: Season 4
21 June 2020: On a bonus episode for Slate Plus members, one of the producers of Season 4 of Slow Burn said they are hearing from some folks saying now is not the time for an intense discussion of David Duke and what he represented (and represents) in American politics. I think I see their point, but I gotta say, it just feels so important for this moment. Can't recommend it enough. That's all.
Saturday, June 20, 2020
The Mercies
20 June 2020: "Many of them seem past caring what is true or not, only desperate for some reason, some order to the rearrangement of their lives, even if it is brought about by a lie."
These lines from Kiran Millwood Hargrave's The Mercies--a book set in 16717 in a small Norwegian village in the aftermath of a disaster--jumped out at me as startlingly relevant in June 2020, as so much of the country seems determined to believe so much that is not true.
These lines from Kiran Millwood Hargrave's The Mercies--a book set in 16717 in a small Norwegian village in the aftermath of a disaster--jumped out at me as startlingly relevant in June 2020, as so much of the country seems determined to believe so much that is not true.
Friday, June 19, 2020
A bit of everything...
19 June 2020: This summer has been much busier than I ever could have anticipated early in the Spring semester (when I usually just begin thinking about what I'll try to get done and how I'll spend my time). I've had several big tasks dropped on me, so those in and of themselves have changed my perspective on what I can accomplish (though I am still holding onto my main research goals).
Beyond that, though, the way these big tasks work their way into every day means my days are rather eclectic. Today alone I had conferences with my summer students, advising work to do (though no meetings with those students), appointments with my colleagues, and so many emails to respond to.
Tucked into a quiet hour here and a quiet 45 minutes there, I managed to get some reading and even a bit of writing done. That felt great. I just need to find more ways to do it...
(I realize that old "balance" initiative of mine is pretty much...dead for now. It's complicated, but for now, I think it's okay. Work keeps me from thinking about other things, I guess.)
Beyond that, though, the way these big tasks work their way into every day means my days are rather eclectic. Today alone I had conferences with my summer students, advising work to do (though no meetings with those students), appointments with my colleagues, and so many emails to respond to.
Tucked into a quiet hour here and a quiet 45 minutes there, I managed to get some reading and even a bit of writing done. That felt great. I just need to find more ways to do it...
(I realize that old "balance" initiative of mine is pretty much...dead for now. It's complicated, but for now, I think it's okay. Work keeps me from thinking about other things, I guess.)
Thursday, June 18, 2020
These little visits...
18 June 2020: So grateful for little outdoors visits with friends. They will get me through these weird and hard times. Also sharing this video again because I keep thinking about it and singing it. That's all.
Wednesday, June 17, 2020
"Praise"
17 June 2020: Every time I find myself feeling weary by extra work I am being asked to do these days, I remind myself how my privileged existence so far has made my burden so much lighter than that placed on Black folks. My own fatigue is nothing compared to that--not even close. It's laughable to even invite a serious comparison.
That's a long way of introducing Angelo Geter's "Praise," a poem that celebrates the miracle of resilient Black bodies and souls. Here are the closing lines:
"Praise yourself
For being able to praise.
For waking up,
When you had every reason not to."
Read the whole thing.
That's a long way of introducing Angelo Geter's "Praise," a poem that celebrates the miracle of resilient Black bodies and souls. Here are the closing lines:
"Praise yourself
For being able to praise.
For waking up,
When you had every reason not to."
Read the whole thing.
Tuesday, June 16, 2020
Still looking good...
16 June 2020: Bing had his annual check-up today. It's a bit different in the age of COVID. I had to wait in the car, which was both better and worse. The doctor called me gave me the report. Basically, he's looking pretty good for 18. Possible thing with his heart, but could also be stress and it would require sedation to know for sure. So we'll keep an eye on it.
Anyway, he bounced back quickly from the morning's trauma. I am profoundly grateful.
Anyway, he bounced back quickly from the morning's trauma. I am profoundly grateful.
Monday, June 15, 2020
Victory
15 June 2020: Sometimes it is hard to believe it when you hear genuinely good news. But this is amazing and feels so wonderful.
States where you can now work as openly LGBTQ without fear of being fired are shaded in gray pic.twitter.com/LqouK6Bt2D— Michael Del Moro (@MikeDelMoro) June 15, 2020
Sunday, June 14, 2020
"...the beautiful, dark work of God"
14 June 2020: "Lately, I have been paying closer attention to the use of language, particularly the language around dark and light, black and white, and the values that are placed on those words. Let's consider the beautiful, dark work of God."
Lately, I have been paying closer attention to the use of language, particularly the language around dark and light, black and white, and the values that are placed on those words. Let's consider the beautiful, dark work of God. pic.twitter.com/sZOCH3Xy5g— Bishop Eaton (@ELCABishopEaton) June 14, 2020
Saturday, June 13, 2020
"Simply splendid!"
13 June 2020: That's how my beloved little weirdo niece Krista described the fun we had today while hanging out with her, Isla, Erin, and Eric for the first time since January. I could go on, but I think this is enough: it was lovely and I am very lucky and grateful.
Friday, June 12, 2020
Mail merge...
12 June 2020: Most boring post title ever? Maybe? But I am proud of myself for figuring out how to do a mail merge and send out 220 emails in the blink of an eye. (As always, youtube provides answers and patient guidance.)
And having those emails sent--they are important--makes me feel ready for the next step.
And having those emails sent--they are important--makes me feel ready for the next step.
Thursday, June 11, 2020
"Vacation"
11 June 2020: This song (plus a bunch of other bangers) was in my friends' Zoom trivia tonight. Instantly lifts your mood, right? And so did hanging with those awesome folks for a bit.
Wednesday, June 10, 2020
"...we got a love that the world won’t take away”
10 June 2020:
This is four minutes of brilliance and uplift from Dr. West. Amazing. I started writing down highlights and couldn't stop:
“What is it about these Black people, so thoroughly subjugated but wanting freedom from everybody? That’s a great gift to the world.”
“Couldn’t take it, man. Been at this for over 50 years. And yet…I got to bounce back, and I will bounce back, because we got a love that the world won’t take away.”
“We in it together, brother. And the beautiful thing about tears is: Socrates never cries, but Jeremiah does, and so does Jesus.”
This is four minutes of brilliance and uplift from Dr. West. Amazing. I started writing down highlights and couldn't stop:
“What is it about these Black people, so thoroughly subjugated but wanting freedom from everybody? That’s a great gift to the world.”
“Couldn’t take it, man. Been at this for over 50 years. And yet…I got to bounce back, and I will bounce back, because we got a love that the world won’t take away.”
“We in it together, brother. And the beautiful thing about tears is: Socrates never cries, but Jeremiah does, and so does Jesus.”
Tuesday, June 9, 2020
Whew...
9 June 2020: I sat here for 15 minutes trying to decide on a post title. We'll go with that silly bit of inelegance above. Things have been low-key crazy since Friday. Busy, too, with a thousand different--wildly different tasks. Yesterday, I managed it all with real skill and grace, until some really upsetting and discouraging emails last night. Today started out rough and stressful, but some really promising developments lifted my spirits and now, though I still feel a bit overwhelmed, I am not as discouraged and sad. (Have to keep it all vague...)
One other factor: Orientation for first-year students started this week, but thanks to COVID, it is very different. All one-on-one appointments, all via Zoom or over the phone. It's been going well, but I miss the normal way. Trying to focus on the good part, though: interacting with students excited to start Shepherd.
One other factor: Orientation for first-year students started this week, but thanks to COVID, it is very different. All one-on-one appointments, all via Zoom or over the phone. It's been going well, but I miss the normal way. Trying to focus on the good part, though: interacting with students excited to start Shepherd.
Monday, June 8, 2020
Five...
8 June 2020: Bird-watching on her 5th birthday. Li'l Soups for everyone to follow later tonight.
Sunday, June 7, 2020
Saturday, June 6, 2020
Fresh coat...
6 June 2020: Put a couple coats of fresh paint on the set that used to be on my patio. I bought this set 11 year ago (!) in the months before I closed on the house, so it's served me well. Looks good in its new spot on the back deck. I get such a sense of satisfaction from seeing it--a bit of control and progress in some crazy times.
Friday, June 5, 2020
Thursday, June 4, 2020
"Goodbye Yellow Brick Road"
4 June 2020: Always loved this song and have taken comfort in it lately. This version, by the amazing Yola, is pretty great. (And I adore this version.)
Wednesday, June 3, 2020
Deck is ready!
3 June 2020: Today my friend Kevin finished repairing my old deck, which was in bad shape (complete with unusable, broken stairs). Basically, he took down everything but the posts and rebuilt it. Right now it's two-tone because he says to wait a year to paint the new wood, which is fine because the two-tone looks kind of cool.
Tuesday, June 2, 2020
A bit of light...
2 June 2020: Cancer and sickness fighters supporting those who are fighting a very different kind of cancerous condition.
Healthcare workers @sloan_kettering come out to cheer on and take a knee in support of protestors. The same people NYC has been honoring every night at 7pm now returning the support. pic.twitter.com/ezWpQtFdr0— Katy Tur (@KatyTurNBC) June 2, 2020
Monday, June 1, 2020
Live-streams...
1 June 2020: Just watched a live-stream of a couple of friends getting married down in Arkansas.
In a little while, I'll watch Brandi Carlile do a life-stream performance of By the Way, I Forgive You. A ticket and a little extra to support the band/crew is a small price to pay for the respite it will provide.
Everything in the country is awful and sad and bad. But these things are very good and nice and I am grateful.
In a little while, I'll watch Brandi Carlile do a life-stream performance of By the Way, I Forgive You. A ticket and a little extra to support the band/crew is a small price to pay for the respite it will provide.
Everything in the country is awful and sad and bad. But these things are very good and nice and I am grateful.
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