Finally...a taste of spring...

14 April 2018: After a restful sleep, woke up this morning to birds singing, breezes coming through the open window, and two snuggle-y cats. (BabyCat on the floor outside in the doorway, as usual.) What a way to open an all-around lovely day. Mowed the lawn (for the first time this season), saw a movie, got some grading done, did some chores, went to a poetry reading, had a good dinner out, talked about plans for the summer... Days like this--quiet, lovely, spent with people I love--I just savor them...

"And we said these songs are true
These days are ours
These tears are free
And hey
The cross is in the ballpark..."

Wes at 14

This handsome fellow turned 14 on Thursday. Still acts and sounds like a kitten.

"Days"

13 April 2018:

"What are days for?
Days are where we live. 
They come, they wake us 
Time and time over.
They are to be happy in: 
Where can we live but days?

Ah, solving that question
Brings the priest and the doctor 
In their long coats
Running over the fields." --Philip Larkin, "Days"

A friend posted this poem this morning and it immediately drew me away from what I was supposed to be doing (grading...). Like so many initial responses to poetry, I suppose your reaction the tone of its two stanzas reflects a lot about where you are in your life and how you feel about that. These days, I find myself embracing the "They are to be happy in" part and chuckling a bit over the doctors and priests in "their long coats."

Rainy morning reading and grading...

12 April 2018:

"To miss you, Sue,
is power.
The stimulus
of Loss makes
most Possession
mean.
To live lasts
always, but to
love is firmer
than to live.
No Heart that
broke but further
went than
Immortality" --Emily Dickinson to Susan Gilbert Dickinson, around 1870 or so

"The Legacy of Childhood Trauma"

11 April 2018: When I posted my first Díaz-related status this week, I hadn't yet had the chance to read this piece in The New Yorker. Well, I finished it this morning and it's so incredibly powerful: sad, moving, and (maybe?) ultimately a bit hopeful.

More Oscar Wao appreciation...

10 April 2018: "I know I've thrown a lot of fantasy and sci-fi into the mix but this is supposed to be a true account of the Brief Wondrous Life of Osacar Wao. Can't we believe that an Ybón can exist and that a brother like Oscar might be due a little luck after twenty-three years?" --Junot Díaz, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao

Two posts in a row on this book, I know...and I know it's not a big swing--this book is awesome and everyone knows it. But every time I get to the ending, I just cry and smile and swoon and all that. And every time I read the passage above, I nod my head in agreement with what I wrote in the margins on my first read: "Yes." Yes, we can believe it, no matter how foolish it might be, no matter how much the world tries to tell us otherwise.

Back to Oscar Wao...

9 April 2018: "It's in the future past..." --a student in my ENGL 360 class discussing the way that Junot Díaz plays with our conceptions of time in The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao. Now I know that comment appears to make little sense to people who haven't read the book, but all of us knew exactly what she meant.

I always love returning to this text and teaching it. And in a semester/year (decade?) where I have been thinking some big thoughts, I am continually grateful for the novel's assertion that sometimes "The only way out is in..."

Brain Games...

8 April 2018: No one else I'd rather have as a co-judge at this year's Brain Games fundraiser for Literacy Volunteers of the Eastern Panhandle. (Even if she can never resist doing finger guns in a picture.) Our third year in a row...

Conversations with myself, Part II

7 April 2018: Today I've been thinking about this post from last month and, connected to it, this larger question of how I am spending my time this year. Something has changed--something small in some ways--but meaningful, I think. Simply put, these days, I find myself doing what I want to do more and not feeling bad about it.

Since college, I guess, I just pushed myself to keep going, keep working, keep saying yes. And it was easy because I loved it and I still love my work so much. (And as always, I realize what an incredible blessing this is.) I haven't been hugely successful by any definition of the word, but I've done okay (and lucky as heck) and it's been so rewarding and wonderful. My life is good.

But maybe it really is something about applying for full professor (the last (ever?) big push in terms of a promotion), turning 40, losing my friend Shannon, and just deciding that it was okay to be a bit self-focused and enjoy life more. Like the nerdiest (and therefore most "me") midlife [non]-crisis ever. And that's meant seemingly silly things like having entire evenings or weekend days where no work gets done. Or leaving the office some days as soon as my office hours are over to go for a long walk. (I practically skipped to my car yesterday at 3:00.) Or seeing two movies in a weekend. Or not stressing about passing on an event on campus.

Today has been a good day: got some work done this morning, did a bit of cleaning, then saw a movie and went for a walk with Amy, and hung out with Anna and Josh in the evening. I'll spend a big chunk of tomorrow volunteering as a judge at a trivia tournament that raises money for a local literacy program. At some point today, I realized that I am probably not going to get that stack of papers that I collected yesterday graded by Monday (thus the thinking about this post). And once again, I realized that's fine..

If this is 40 for me, I am (gradually becoming) okay with that.

Scenes from a campus walk...

6 April 2018: I mean, cats are still the official animal of my life, but this dog and baby combo is pretty darn cute.

“Child Sexual Abuse: A Community Panel Discussion”

5 April 2018: This event will stick with me a long time. The five women on the panel are amazing, doing such important work every day.

An unexpected gift...

4 April 2018:

Today a student dropped off a gift she picked up for me (it was at a "free" table at the library). Her kindness made my day.

Great (Dating) Expectations...

3 April 2018: Today we finished up our discussion of Great Expectations in ENGL 311. As usual, the class had lots of smart things to say as we wrestled with the strange (and plural!) endings of this book. I asked them what they thought of (spoiler?) Biddy marrying Joe and joked that, "hey, he's got a job and he's nice." Somehow that got us talking about who we would date from the book (lots of "anyone but Pip!" responses...poor Pip!).

Half joking, half serious, I wondered aloud if that might make a good final exam essay prompt--something about having them write about which character (or writer?) from over the course of the semester would be a good spouse/match. It's certainly a different kind of prompt, but one that can trick them into doing some actual critical thinking. And, as someone who does a lot of exam grading, something fun might be more, well...fun to grade. I have to think about it some more, but the class liked the idea. We shall see...

"Don't Worry Baby"

2 April 2018:

"Well its been building up inside of me
For oh I don't know how long
I don't know why
But I keep thinking
Something's bound to go wrong
But she looks in my eyes

And makes me realize
And she says 'Don't worry baby'
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright" --The Beach Boys, "Don't Worry Baby"

A day that started with snow ended on quite a lovely note. This song, which came on as I was making dinner, fit the mood pretty nicely.

Easter 2018

1 April 2018: Once again, I got to spend Easter with Erin, Eric, Krista, and Isla: a wonderful way to spend the day.