Two good things...

28 February 2019: It's been a busy and kind of stressful week made even more complicated by a cold. But today also brought some very good things.

1) I found out that I was awarded a professional development grant to fund some research in Massachusetts for my Lucy Larcom project this summer. I am nervously excited to set up the archival visits and see what I can find.

2) Right before I left my office for the day, one of my favorite students stopped by to give me two pieces of candy and a cute pencil. "You seemed to be having a tough time, so I wanted to give you this," she said. I was so moved that I almost doubled over. These students...they just make it all worth it time and again. 

Senior Day

27 February 2019: A busy and long day during which I actually lost my temper (privately) a time or two, something that doesn't happen often. I don't feel too great when that happens.

So it was nice, if bittersweet, to have the last home women's basketball game to go to this evening. These young women just impress the heck out of me. They work hard, even if they don't always win. They support each other. They are just fun to watch. It was "Senior Night," too, which meant saying good-bye to three who are graduating. Again, bittersweet, but a nice way to end the public part of my day.

Good press!

26 February 2019: Today a colleague brought by this article that appeared in the Hagerstown paper, discussing an achievement by one of the strongest students I've had worked with. It was a lovely gesture on his part, especially since I hadn't seen it before. 

On mentoring...

25 February 2019: "If a university wants to know what its greatest marketing campaign and value proposition is, it need look no further. Faculty who mentor students are the lodestone in higher education." This article from insidehighered.com is perfect for a Monday morning when my coming-down-with-a-cold-self is dragging and mostly on campus for meeting with students in a mentoring capacity.

One of the reasons I didn't pursue that administrative position I wrote about last week--and one of the biggest reasons--is because I didn't want to lose this kind of relationship with my students. So thank you, universe, for another sign.

Russian Doll

24 February 2019:

[Catch-up post, as the power kept going out yesterday...]

Do I even need to write that Russian Doll is excellent and absolutely worth seeking out? I watched the entire thing yesterday, while nursing the early stage of a cold, and it was perfect.

In the Amber Chamber

23 February 2019: My good friend and colleague had a release party and reading for her new book tonight. It was amazing. She is amazing. You should buy it.

Field trip...

22 February 2019: Finally got to take part in Shepherd's annual field trip to Storer College and it was as moving, important, and memorable as everyone who has been said it would be.

Clarity...

21 February 2019: Made a decision today that on one level might look strange, but actually gave me such clarity on what matters and, by extension, who I am. And that clarity--coming packaged with lots of peace and gratitude, is such a gift.

My biggest fan/perpetual supporter, perched on my arm, as usual, no doubt glad that I won't be taking on anything that means less time with him.

Hints, clues, signs?

20 February 2019: On a day when I've spent a lot of time thinking about my professional future and goals and how I want my life to look in the next couple of years, the universe does seem to be offering hints, clues, or signs about the decision I should make, including:

• A bunch of posts (inspired by the WV teachers' strike) from my former students that remind me just how much my teaching means to me and the difference I want to keep making.
• This image getting shared by my colleagues, about how this job can take you away from what really matters to you if you aren't paying attention.
  
• This poem, which doesn't fit my situation exactly, but does remind me to think about how to read signs and interrogate narratives of "success" that push us towards something that might not make us happy. 

I am not sure what I will do yet, but I guess I am also grateful for the time that a snow day provides to think about it. And for the friends who have listened and given me advice and support. 

"Chioke, Grain of Sand"

19 February 2019: Today was a heck of a day for a bunch of reasons (pondering a potentially big professional opportunity), but I am so grateful that it started off with me listening to this episode of Everything is Alive. In general, this podcast is terrific, but this one stuck me as particularly moving and profound. It just goes to all of these unexpected places, including a very moving interview with Eleanor Hamilton, one of the voices of the London Underground. What a gift to open the day with!

"They're a family..."

18 February 2019: "I told them, 'I need you all. I need help.'" --Jasmine, a student on Shepherd's Multicultural Leadership Team, talking about how, in the aftermath of a tough incident, she reached out for help and support from the rest of the team.

Someone in one of the dorms on campus left racist notes on the door of an R.A. who is biracial. Jasmine, who talked about the incident today in her interview to be on the Team next year, is friends with the R.A. and immediately reached out to her, providing love and support. But then she needed support because it upset her so much. So she reached out to the Team, who swung into action. They are taking care of each other and the victim, planning how to respond, having important conversations.

As Jasmine explained all of this, I turned to the graduate student who oversees the team. "What a great tribute to what you all have built," I said. She nodded, saying, "They're a family."

The incident itself is depressing and upsetting, but the aftermath and the way these students shined? Amazing.

On Mrs. Joe...

17 February 2019: "It was the first time that a grave had opened in my road of life, and the gap it made in the smooth ground was wonderful. The figure of my sister in her chair by the kitchen fire, haunted me night and day. That the place could possibly be, without her, was something my mind seemed unable to compass; and whereas she had seldom or never been in my thoughts of late, I had now the strangest ideas that she was coming towards me in the street, or that she would presently knock at the door. In my rooms too, with which she had never been at all associated, there was at once the blankness of death and a perpetual suggestion of the sound of her voice or the turn of her face or figure, as if she were still alive and had been often there....Whatever my fortunes might have been, I could scarcely have recalled my sister with much tenderness. But I suppose there is a shock of regret which may exist without much tenderness." --Pip, after his sister's death, in Great Expectations

On yet another turn through Great Expectations for me, this time for ENGL 341, the book continues to give me new gems to focus on. Pip's inability to imagine a world without his sister--such a dominant figure in his life--is well-rendered, right down to his seemingly unanticipated feeling of regret even though she was never warm towards him. Loss is complex, especially when the family member is someone like Mrs. Joe.

The Apple Tree

16 February 2019: "Why doesn't she just have someone kill the other woman afterwards?" --Amy's solution to the dilemma in "The Lady or the Tiger?" section of The Apple Tree, a really fun show we saw tonight. Very crafty, that one...

Little pauses...

15 February 2019: Sometimes I have a day that is so darn pleasant and lovely that I make myself pause for a moment and take a note of it. I'm not talking about extraordinary or special days, but in fact those that are rather ordinary and so good in part because they are so ordinary.

These are almost always moments when I am alone, but don't feel alone. Today it was as I tied up my sneakers before an afternoon walk.

It's like I tell myself, "Remember this feeling for the moments when you don't feel this way. Remember how, in so many ways, this moment isn't that different from those."

And I try to think about why and try to capture some kind of an answer so that I can turn to it during the next not-so-pleasant moment.

And I know I might not be able to pull off that trick. But I also try to imagine me in that future moment, remembering this one, and telling myself it will be okay.

In other words, today was a pretty good day and I want to remember sitting there, tying my shoes, and smiling while thinking about how sweet life can be.

More treats...

14 February 2019: Just some more evidence of how lucky I am to do what I love: a thank you note and gift from one of our very best students.

Galentine's Day 2019

13 February 2019: Still a favorite holiday for me! Highlights include a visit with Hannah (whose birthday is today) and dinner at Waffle House with Amy, followed by watching the delightfully silly and fun Happy Death Day 2.

Candy-Gram!

12 February 2019: A busy but good day today. The candy-gram I got from a student was a bit of icing on the cake.

"Here You Come Again"

11 February 2019: This one's been playing in my head since the tribute to Dolly on the Grammy Awards last night. Such a great song with some "I know that's true" lyrics.

"Weakness"

10 February 2019:

Sunday night pondering, Grammy Nominee edition.

"I'm worried for no reason
I'm worried and I'm blue
There's no better cure for it
Than being next to you
I can't hide what I am, guess it's plain to see
Sometimes my weakness is stronger than me" --Margo Price, "Weakness"

"The School of Nights & Hyphens"

9 February 2019: An A+ day all around--got some work done in the morning, celebrated Hannah's b-day (a bit early) in the afternoon, walked with Amy after that, then off to dinner and a movie with her, Hannah, and Cory. Back home settled in with the boys and Veronica. Not bad, Saturday, not bad at all.

And also, there's this poem, which just makes me happy. Sigh-worthy, even. (Linked to another Chen Chen poem in this post...)

More good press for our efforts...

8 February 2019: Loving this recognition of Sigma Tau Delta and our work. And this photo of the group. I am so blessed to work with this amazing group of students.

It's official!

7 February 2019: See this handsome little dude, all dressed up for his big day? He's my (now official) nephew, Evan, and my sister and her husband finalized his adoption today. So thrilled for him...and us!

"The air in the room is different when two women respect each other..."

6 February 2019: Oh man, this interview is giving me life this afternoon. A few of the best lines:

From Brandi: "I was already getting to a point where I was feeling like I’d heard just about enough from male country singers. I wanted to hear somebody that was loud and fierce and able to hold their ground, who had real grit and who could just deliver on all levels -- emotionally, intellectually, vocally. Margo could. You can hear her strength on her records. That is not a tiny voice."

From Margo: "The air in the room is different when two women respect each other. It was refreshing to go out and open for someone who was not from mainstream male country."

From Brandi: " My fantasy, even when I was 10, was having a log cabin with a creek and a horse that nobody fucked with, where I’d play my music and make my own money. I’m proud to say I made it happen."

Love, love, love. 

He's not wrong...

5 February 2019: My students were killing it today with smart points and unexpected connections. The one that made me laugh the most? "It reminds me of the debate about 'Baby It's Cold Outside." What was he talking about? Robert Browning's "Porphyria's Lover." Ha!

Monday evening gratitude

4 February 2019: Sitting here tonight thinking about all the people I interacted with today who made the day (and my job and my life) better. The Sigma Tau Delta students, who are so ambitious, responsible, and kind to/supportive of each other. The folks on the Faculty Senate, who, despite our differences, put students first and really care about the university. The friends/colleagues I met up with for a quick drink and snack after a long day. Good stuff all around.

Assessing portfolios...

3 February 2019: Because one of my colleagues is on sabbatical this semester, I am covering her position, serving as an interim director of first-year writing and rhetoric. That means I also have to do the assessment of last semester's ENGL 101 classes. I am only about 15 portfolios (out of about 100+) into the (virtual) pile, but as always when I do something like this, one thought keeps coming to mind: it is so hard to teach first-year writing and we are so lucky to have great instructors doing this work for us at Shepherd.

"Fragmentary Blue"

2 February 2019: Grateful for a sunny and warm(er) day today, featuring plenty of blue sky. I found myself smiling up at the sky, soaking it in. So "Fragmentary Blue," by Robert Frost seemed an especially appropriate "Poem of the Day."

"Fragmentary Blue"

Why make so much of fragmentary blue
In here and there a bird, or butterfly,
Or flower, or wearing-stone, or open eye,
When heaven presents in sheets the solid hue?

Since earth is earth, perhaps, not heaven (as yet)—
Though some savants make earth include the sky;
And blue so far above us comes so high,
It only gives our wish for blue a whet. 

“Teaching Today’s Learners: Research-Based Instruction for Generation Z”

1 February 2019: Despite the challenges posed by some snowy and messy weather, I attended a very interesting workshop today, given by Dr. Mark Taylor. One big idea I am taking with me: "Whoever does the work does the learning."