When it's very hard for them...

17 September 2025: Thinking today about the student who met with me to talk about her coursework. She got a text midway through our conversation that clearly unnerved her. I could see her losing focus and getting noticeably uneasy the more we talked. 

When we were done, I said, "Are you okay?" 

And out it all came, tears and all: she's struggling with a health issue and can't find a provider in the area who takes her parents' insurance. Because she isn't getting treatment, it's impacting her relationship with a live-in partner. That partner now says they need to break up. And not live together. All of this, all at once. With the world on fire. And classes. And a job. 

"I try to keep it all inside, but it's hard." 

What could I say? 

I made sure she was okay and safe. (She said she was.) I made sure she was connected with campus resources. (She is.) 

And I told her that I was cheering for her and that it all sounded really hard and that I was sorry. And that she could do it--she could and would get through it all, but that it sucks that she has to. Told her again how fond we are all of her. That I was here if she needed me. Told her to go to the library, get herself a treat, and be kind to herself. And she left. 

And I am still thinking about it.

God forbid we had a working health care system for everyone. 

Every semester, so many conversations like these. Every semester. 

Draft: DONE!

16 September 2025: Finished a draft of my half of the "Year's Work" essay late this afternoon and man, that feels great. Next step is editing and revising, then swapping halves with my co-writer. I think I got myself more worked up about being behind than I needed to, but that's just because chunks of time I ahd assumed I could use for writing got swallowed up in the first few weeks of the semester. 

But our deadline to submit to each other is October 1, so I've got two weeks left on my end--and will probably send it to my co-author pretty soon. 

The deadline for us to submit to the journal is October 15. We've got this and that feels good. 

Focus on the good...

15 September 2025: Lots to be unhappy and anxious about at work (though nothing teaching-related; the best part of the job, etc.). Still, I am so glad that Tim shared some great news about staffing our program and then, when things got more negative over the course of the rest of our conversation, he brought it up again. Grateful for a treasured friend who reminds me to focus on the good.

Leaning into cozy...

14 September 2025: Tonight our little book club discussed Hiro Arikawa's The Passengers on the Hankyu Line, a sweet and cozy book about people's lives intertwining on a Japanese railway. When it came time to choose the next book, we were--as we are so often--torn between two titles. Cory described one as "cozy," though, and Kaitlyn and I cut to the chase: with the world the way it is now, let's go with cozy. 

Auralee Wallace's In the Company of Witches, here we come.

Saturday reset...

13 September 2025: Grateful for a sunny mid-September Saturday when I can tackle a bunch of chores and work-related tasks, filled with the satisfication of crossing items off a long list. It's been a quiet day so far--mostly me puttering around, with occasional pauses to admire or play with BabyCat and Jojo. In a little while, I'll pick up Amy for a movie (the new--and last?--Downton Abbey film) and we'll probably grab some dinner. A day like this--low-key, productive, and satisfying--helps me reset after a week like the one we've just been through.

Sources of Strength

12 September 2025: Took part in a six-hour Sources of Strength training this afternoon into the evening. (Actually missed the first hour because I was in class.) This has been a long week and I have so much to do. And I am running on a sleep deficit.

But it was really powerful and important. I am glad I did it and grateful to have spent time with the wonderful folks in the group. (A bit too tired to even try to be more eloquent!)

Shiny Happy Dreams

11 September 2025: I am so grateful that the hope and energy of my early-ish post yesterday carried me through the rest of the day as things grew much darker in the wake of more gun violence.

Woke up with that darkness weighing on me. Then I heard two songs on my brief run to and from Sheetz this morning: "Shiny Happy People" and "Dreams." Sunny, optimistic songs from 1991 and 1993, when I was so young and the world at least pretended to make more sense. 

On the two minute drive to Sheetz, the juxtaposition of "Shiny Happy People" to my emotions almost made me laugh. 

When I got back in the car and "Dreams" was playing? I just cried. 

I can't really say what all of this means--why it stands out to me. But I want to mark it and remember it. 

They are so good at this...

10 September 2025: I want to remember how good my American Fiction class was today. 

We finished up Huck Finn through the lens of really spikey pieces of criticism and we start James on Monday. Before we got that part started, though, listening to their pre-class chatter, I asked them what 9-11 means to their generation. Boy, did that spark an enlightening conversation. (They weren't born then, of course.) Somehow--but it's actually not that much of a mystery if you think about it--we made that connection back to Twain and his, to quote Toni Morrison (whose piece they read!), "amazing, troubling book."

These kids are so angry about our world. Used to the specter of violence hanging over them for every day of their lives. (Returned to my office to see news of a shooting of a right-wing figure on a college campus and a shooting at a high school in Colorado. It's always appalling and soul-crushing, but less shocking every time.)

These students are jaded and cynical and...angry. 

But also not without energy and hope. 

And they are so damn smart and decent. 

They give me so much hope. 

Need some writing time...

9 September 2025: The last three days for which I set aside blocks of time to work on the Year's Work essay...it didn't happen. Including today.

Other annoying stuff just piles up and demands attention. Stuff takes longer than you think it would. And none of this "stuff" is preparing for classes or grading. 

The writing will get done, but wow...

Jeopardy! is back!

8 September 2025: Long Monday (see previous post re: a bruiser of a week). Got home after Jeopardy! started--and not even aware that we were back to new episodes, but the DVR caught it. Having it back in my evening routine? Now it's a fall semester. 

Busy Sunday...

7 September 2025: Apologies for repetitive post titles and content this weekend, but when it works, it works?

Supermarket in the morning, brunch and an early movie after that, then mowed the lawn (the first time in about a month; it's been so dry!), worked on a home improvement project, and tackled some work-work. Still a lot to go, which isn't great for a Sunday evening, but all in all, feeling okay. 

This week ahead is a bruiser, schedule-wise. One step at a time. 

Busy Saturday...

6 September 2025: 

Really cool, useful, and even moving workshop this morning about holistic teaching and yoga.

Fun women's soccer game where they won 2-0.

Nice evening with a friend who came over to watch a movie.

Excellent long phone call with Vogel after my friend left.

All the weekly chores knocked out in the in-between times.

Not a bad Saturday at all. 

The Conjuring: Last Rites

5 September 2025: I am tired in my bones, but so glad that Amy and I went to see the latest (and last?) Conjuring movie this evening. So much fun. I would watch a million more of these movies. Keep 'em coming!

"Moving Out" in the Food Lion

4 September 2025: Long day where I didn't get enough done and still have a couple of hours work to do. And tomorrow will be really long, too. But at the grocery store this evening (getting just cat food, ha), this song came on and I sang it under my breath and even swayed a bit at the self-check out. It ruled.

Kitchen floor crashing...

3 September 2025: First thing I did when I came through the door after being gone for eleven hours? 

Dropped my bag and got on the kitchen floor with Jo, who was very happy to see me. 

Long day...lots to do, lots to worry about. Seems pretty early in the semester for "miles to go before I sleep" to be in my head... 

But it'll be okay. I've got this--with some help from this girl and good friend.

(BabyCat also lives here.) 

A bit of relief...

2 September 2025: So grateful today that a dear friend's mom received some encouraging news about some medical concerns. Still a ways to go until on the journey of figuring everything out, but man: when everything is so hard everywhere, it feels like such a relief and gift to have some decent news. 

Progress!

1 September 2025: Finally--over the past two days--I have had the time and the mental space to get some writing done on my portion of the Year's Work essay. It feels so good to be in that groove. Right now, the Twain section is drafted and needs another round of reading-through, revising, and editing. 

Next up is the "literature" section about all the non-Twain stuff. Hoping to knock a lot of that out this week. 

(Always funny to make progress on work on Labor Day, but the freedom from a regular work day makes it possible!

Bird-watching...

31 August 2025: With a frequency and intensity that is almost too much, given their intense beauty against the blue sky, the goldfinches have returned to my birdfeeders, having been absent since the early spring. They join the most common birds regularly convening there: red finches, cardinals, and (to a lesser extent) black-headed chickadees. 

The girls are pleased and every once in a while even manage to share window space to watch them. This late-summer snapshot of a Sunday morning makes me smile.

Department get-together...

30 August 2025: Enjoyed a really lovely get-together with my colleagues at Keith's house this evening. Our department looks different this year--three new folks and some folks who have left--but it's still a good group and I am lucky to work with them.

One week down...

29 August 2025: All in all, a good first week where (again!) the best part was (of course!) the students and that time in the classroom. In between classes, annoying emails and university b.s. put me in a funk. Then I stepped into Knutti 202 and all that slipped away.

Hiding...

28 August 2025: Someone ran out the front door today and then tried to hide. Or perhaps she just appreciates the new views, too.

Late August blooms...

27 August 2025: It's been dry here again and I am having to water the front bushes, which are still young and vulnerable. When I got home this evening and started watering, I found myself so pleased again with how well this flower bed has turned out. The annuals are thriving. They started out as tiny plants in cell packs and look at them now! The bushes are doing well, too. I am obsessed with the butterfly bushes. I can't say enough about how much this long-delayed landscaping change pleases me.

Day Two...

26 August 2025: Co-taught the opening session of GWST 201 today, which went quite well, as it usually does. We get the greatest variety of cool students in that course. The rest of the day flew by too quickly, with administrative and other kinds of work sucking up a lot of time. Silly me thought I'd have time for writing. Oh well--at least we've got a long weekend coming. 

Another "day one"...

25 August 2025: Hard to think of another Day One where the divide between the awesomeness of the classroom sits in stark contrast to the bullshit everywhere else. But that awesomeness--and seeing busy hallways and my terrific colleagues again--tips the scales on the side of "good" for today.

And, like the end of so many other Day Ones, I am exhausted.

Here comes year 26...

 24 August 2025: About a week ago, I realized that I taught my first college class in August 2000, I had a milestone coming up: about to start Year 25 of teaching. Then--like just tonight--I realized I missed the milestone. Last year was the start of Year 25.

I remember the day of that first class so clearly. Got to campus early. All dressed up. Anxious as heck in the parking garage beforehand. Such a kid! 

So...year 26. Not as flashy, but still something to mark. 

Hats

23 August 2025: My dad turned 79 today. When I saw him earlier this week, I gave him his birthday gifts, which included this hat.

I had my eyes on it for him for a couple of years, but finally decided this was the year. First, it's just cool looking...subtle and fun. And I love the idea of stuff that positions him as a dad and not just a grandfather (well, an opa, technically). 

He seems to like it, too, and mentioned I had given him a dad hat before--when I was really little. I didn't remember that, sure enough, last night he sent me photo evidence (including pictures of two other hats I've given him over the years).

When I talked to him today, I said, "Well, you know I've always loved a baseball hat" and he laughed.

Like his new hat says, he's just a cool dad. 

Convocation 2025...

22 August 2025: We met the class of 2025 and our transfer students today. Always a long, busy, and exciting day. One more weekend and then it's the new academic year...

Professional Development Day

21 August 2025: Today was the second annual professional development day for faculty. Once again, the best part was seeing my peers and getting more evidence of how superb they are. Long day, but gratifying.

Family visit

20 August 2025: Got to spend some time today with my parents, Erin, Krista, and Isla. We celebrated my dad's 79th birthday a few days early, too.

A touch of procrastination...

19 August 2025: I had intended to get some more writing done on my portion of the Year's Work essay today, but ended up telling myself it was okay a) instead focus more on other little work-related tasks and b) once those were done, just not work anymore for the day. I've got, not counting weekends, about one more day of break left, so this little indulgence feels okay. 

The writing will get done--and likely much more easily when the regular rhythm of the semester kicks in. 

Getting the classrooms ready...

18 August 2025: Tim and I spent some time today checking on the second-floor classrooms in Knutti, making sure everything is ready for Monday. We are (mostly) there, but we probably tried out four configurations of tables and chairs in one classroom before finally getting it right--or right enough until we hear otherwise. We were joking about all of this "other duties as assigned" work, but that is kind of the Shepherd way. 

One more week...

17 August 2025: Classes start a week from tomorrow. I am mostly ready. I miss the students. But there is always a melancholy lurking for me this time of year--particularly this week or so before it all starts. Sunday evenings, of course, multiply the melancholy. 

Grateful for the good parts I am looking forward to, the fact that the heat broke a couple of hours ago, spaghetti for dinner, Bob's Burgers reruns on the TV, and a decent book waiting for me to get back to it.

And, as always, for Veronica and Jo. 

Zoom hang...

16 August 2025: What an absolute blast it was to do a Zoom hang-out with Vogel and our grad school friend Deidre today. These two women are so cool and funny and it felt almost like we were in the same room at times.  

East of Wall

15 August 2025: Went into East of Wall knowing nothing about it except that it had good reviews and that I really liked a couple of actors in it. What a beautiful film--in every sense of the word! 

New role...

14 August 2025: The last month or so has involved a lot of personnel work in the English program, with one colleague moving on to a new school and a flurry of work to replace him and staff his classes. That has meant--among other things--that I am now taking on the role of Coordinator of Rhetoric and Composition (with a course release). 

In that capacity, I've been helping Tim, the new department chair, with adjunct hiring and training. So, in the past couple of weeks, I've gotten to meet some great new folks who will be teaching for us. 

It's a minor miracle to get a quality teacher--especially at the last minutes, especially given what we pay--for composition classes. But we have received three of those miracles this summer. I met with the last hire, a really impressive young woman named Ali, for the first time in person today. She's great. It was so much fun to talk to her, too, about teaching and her syllabus. 

The new role will mean new work and it won't all be smooth sailing, but I am looking forward to a lot of it. 

Buddy Birthday Lunch

13 August 2025: Best part of the day? Having a birthday lunch with Hannah at Kome. Hard to decide which gift I love more: the winter hat that Cory made for me or the little picture of Theo in his Yankee outfit that I hung right on my fridge. 

48

12 August 2025: It's been a very nice birthday: quiet day mostly at home with Jo and Veronica, lovely calls and messages from friends and family, and then a fun night at trivia. Those folks really made me smile. A couple of teams brought cards or sweets. Someone gave me balloons and flowers from her yard. And they all sang, which made me blush and smile. Feeling very blessed.

New tires...

11 August 2025: Spent most of the morning at the dealership, including getting new tires. Kind of hard to believe how long I've had the car. I managed to get a bunch of little tasks done (emails, emails, emails) and even a bit of writing for the Year's Work essay. 

The best part, though, was getting to catch up with Emma. She just always impresses the heck out of me. We talked a bit about how she's in a kind of "women in leadership" class/group with Subaru and how it feels to move through a male-dominated space (not all bad!). We could have talked for hours, I think, but she was, of course, at work. Still delighted to have seen her. 

Jo at three...

10 August 2025: Josephine March Hanrahan is three years old today. She's a total joy and a bundle of mischief and love. 

Weapons

9 August 2025: I really enjoyed Weapons, a completely original movie that you should just settle into, confident that you have no idea where it's going, but you are in good hands. It's scary and gross and sad and moving and funny. It knows just how much detail to give to let you know what you need to know. And the ending? Most other movies would add an extra scene or beat or something. This one, though? Perfect. 

Home again...

8 August 2025: Had breakfast with Vogel before we both hit the road. Drove home filled with gratitude for such a meaningful friendship. 

Back to "normal" now...

Megaliths...

7 August 2025:

[Catch-up post...]

On Wednesday, I asked a shopkeeper for recommendations of places we should be sure to see. She told us about this park with megaliths and we figured "sure" and added it to our list of things to do on Thursday. (I am not linking to it because they seem a bit strict about how you post pictures and I want to respect that!)

What a cool place! We walked and wandered. We stopped and sat in the woods for a bit and just talked. I tease* Vogel about her interest in "energy" and all that, but being in this space on that day? I kind of get it. 

*just a bit! it's more that she assumes I am teasing her!

Together again...

6 August 2025: 

[Catch-up post...]

Closed out my summer break travel with quick get-together with Vogel in the Poconos. Hard to think of many people who know me more, understand me better, or mean as much to me.

Little campus tour...

5 July 2025: Spent a tiny part of today giving a new adjunct a quick tour of campus. At each stop, it was so cool to see people who I am so fond of and introduce her to them. Working at Shepherd can be exhausting and hard and frustrating and heartbreaking, but the people? The best in the business. 

Lunch with Frank...

 4 August 2025: Had a bittersweet (but mostly sweet!) lunch with Frank, who graduated from our program a few years ago. He's been working at Shepherd as an admissions counselor, but is now moving onto a new place and a new position. 

He's such a good guy. I told him how clearly I remember meeting him and helping him make his first schedule when he started at Shepherd. He was so quiet and seemed shy. And he was far from home, having come from Puerto Rico to live with an aunt and uncle after Hurricane Maria. I worried if he would last. Each semester, there he was--still here and thriving. And when I had him in class for the first time? What an utter delight. 

It's been nice to have him around after he graduated, but I am also glad he's spreading his wings a bit and seeing what else the world offers. Low-key jealous of everyone who gets to meet him for the first time and learn what an absolute gem he is. 

Another summer Sunday...

3 August 2025: Another nice summer Sunday unrolling here today. Amy and I hit up an antique story in Frederick, had lunch at Lucky Corner, then walked through the big antique mall in Boonsboro. (We each bought exactly ONE small thing, but the browsing is the fun part.) Then a quick stop at Rock Hill Creamery. 

After I got home, I walked up to Food Lion to knock out some more steps and get a few things. And now (big surprise!), I'm watching Bob's Burgers and taking care of some little chores and tasks. 

The post-heat wave temperatures have been really lovely. Sitting here with the breeze blowing through the open windows is just one of my favorite things. 

Forever

2 August 2025: Slowly working my way through Forever on Netflix. I still have about an episode and a half to go, but it strikes me as a really beauitful show. 

The two kids at the heart of it are so sweet and swoony. They feel real. (A credit to the actors--and all the actors involved.) The parents also seem real and nuanced. They remind me of how hard it must be to love your kids so much yet have this wall that springs up when they reach adolescene. 

Little moments are skillfully realized, from the way the kids text each other (or not--lots of hot and cold at times!) to the confrontations between them and their parents. 

It's a slow and quiet show, the kind that sometimes get overlooked by larger audiences, but it really is a gem.  

Nostalgia machine...

1 August 2025: Amy and I saw the new Naked Gun movie tonight. I laughed a lot--so many dumb jokes!* An added bonus: the movie worked like a nostalgia machine for me, bringing me back to watching these movies with my siblings when we were kids. 

*One joke landed with a real thud for me, though; we do not to be dropping the r-word back into things.

A Midsummer Night's Dream

31 July 2025: 

[Catch-up post...]

I had a delightful time last night seeing A Midsummer Night's Dream last night at the Olney Theater. It was a production but on by Synetic Theatre (they do wordless shows--which are always very cool). It really was terrific--beautifully interpreted with great music, dancing, and lots of great comic moments/performances.

Tim organized the whole thing for a group that also included Kevin (of course!) and our new colleague Michael and his fiance. 

Making progress on the "Year's Work"

30 July 2025: I think I've just finished my last batch of reading and note-taking for my portion of the "Year's Work" essay, having made my way through The Routledge Companion to Absurdist Literature. Feels good to have this part of the task done. Next comes writing, of course, but that's on a little pause until my co-author and I can talk about a new approach to that task.  

"Come here and see."

29 July 2025: This post's title comes from the last line of These Days, by Lucy Caldwell, the novel my little book club is reading this month. Reading it on my kindle, I didn't realize that was the last line--and when I did, my breath caught and I almost had to stifle a sob. It's hard to explain why, but I'll try. 

The book's subject matter--a family (and others) in the days of the 1941 Belfast Blitz--is dark and heavy. Yet the book is so beautiful and intricately rendered. What do you do in the face of such cruel, meaningless devastation? "Just keep going" is way too simple an answer, perhaps (though we know it's true). "Come here and see," though? In this book--which shows such a profound reverance for people, their everyday lives, their hidden thoughts and dreams, and desires--"come here and see" serves a kind of ethos and answer. 

"River Waltz"

28 July 2025: Felt the need to listen to this track, which I have just loved since my friend Wilkie introduced me to it over twenty (!) years ago. Just a perfect song.

Nonpareils...

27 July 2025: The first night in our hotel, when the staff did a turn-down service while we were out, they left a rose and two little nonpareil candies on a pillow. Those were Ryan's favorite candy. I teared up as soon as I made the connection. 

Erin, Tara, and I talked about how meaningful it was that our get-together coincided with the anniversary of his death. In fact, we talked about him and much more (some very painful, but also with lots of laughter) all weekend long. 

Sisters' trip, day two...

26 July 2025: 

[Catch-up post...]

From starting off at the Central Market to shopping to visiting Wheatland to a night-time round of mini-golf, we really made the most of our full day together. 

Sisters' trip!

25 July 2025: 

[Catch-up post...]

So much fun to get together with Tara and Erin for a couple of days in Lancaster.

Somebody Somewhere, again...

24 July 2025: Not a ton of "new" stuff that I am watching right now, but I was searching for something that could make me feel okay--even happy--for evening watching. Decided to rewatch (for the fourth time, maybe?) Somebody Somewhere. I know I've written about it before (more than once), but it's just perfect. Each watch reveals something new. Grateful to have it in my life. 

Car ride with a reticent teen...

23 July 2025: Got the chance to drive a friend's kid to and from her creative writing club meeting at the Charles Town Library. I've known this kid since she was an infant and it kind of blows my mind that she's going into tenth grade. She's a quieter kid and I didn't force too much conversation. I told her mom afterwards that I "respect and honor a reticent teen." 

It was nice to do her parents a favor and to feel good about helping. And it was just nice to spend some time with her. 

(Plus, between dropping her offf and picking her up, I went to Panera for the first time in forever and got some work done.)

Nougat and Leroy...

22 July 2025: Every Tuesday night, I get to realize again how much I enjoy hosting trivia. It's so cool to see the teams gather week after week--people who just like hanging out with each other. It makes me happy and hopeful.

They make me laugh, too. For instance, this post's title comes from two separate funny guesses to a question: The Three Muskateers were Athos, Porthos, and who? 

"Leroy" just made me chuckle.

"Nougat" took me a second and then I burst out laughing.

Almost eleven years...

21 July 2025: Coming up on eleven years this week since we lost Ryan. Two things made me cry a bit thinking of him. First, I heard a Chris Cornell cover of "Nothing Compares 2U" and it made me think (and then read about) his tragic ends. Decades spent trying to beat these demons...

Then I saw the news about Malcolm Jamal Warner's death and thought, "classic brother with a bunch of sisters. Good kid who tried his best..." And there he was again...

Grateful that I'll spend time with Tara and Erin on the 25th. We can, I hope, talk about the good memories, too. 

Pretty sweet Sunday...

20 July 2025: I know I sometimes document days like today--posts that are basically lists of things I did. They aren't the most interesting posts, I know, but for me, they can serve as little snapshots of ordinary but sweet days. So here's one:

I got an early start with a trip to campus (my first in over a week!) to do a little work and (almost more important to me, at least emotionally) water my plants. 

It's pretty cool to be close to the end of my reading for the "Year's Work" essay. My syllabi are coming along well, too. On Friday, I accepted a new role--Coordinator of First-Year Writing--that means a course release for me, which cut that syllabizing work down quite a bit.

Once I got home, I took my walk through the neighborhood. Laughed really hard at an Extra Hot Great episode. 

From there, I was basically inside the rest of the afternoon. (Still pretty hot out there; it's been an intense summer.) I watched some TV (finished You, which was okay) and read a horror novel by a local writer. I'm enjoying it and have about 120 pages to go.

Then Amy and I saw Magdalene, a CATF play. I really enjoyed it; terrific acting, as always, and some cool ideas. From there, we had dinner at King's.

Home now and just finished a phone call with Tim. Bob's Burgers time (it continues to be my comfort show) until some more reading, bath, and bed!

A summer stunner...

19 July 2025: The zinnias that I planted this year--especially around the mailbox--are doing really well. The bloom below isn't perfect, but it is huge and really pleases me, imperfections and all. Grateful for this kind of beauty.

Humming the old hymn...

18 July 2025: Praying for a friend tonight whose mother is facing a medical challenge. Just another situation when all you can do is try to be there for your friend and support her and pray, pray, pray. Trying to remind myself of the strange comfort being able to "take it to the Lord in prayer." 

A very good day...

17 July 2025: Hard to think of a more pleasant recent day. Hannah and Theo came over--and so did Amy, who got to meet him for the first time. We had lunch and just visited for a long time (though Amy had to get back to work). The baby has changed so much since I last saw him in person. He's smiley and curious and basically just chilled and vibed. Then this evening, I had dinner with Eva (who was in town), Tim, Betty, Carrie, James, and Rachel at Rumsey Tavern. We just sat and talked forever. 

So blessed. So grateful. 

Kevin Kling: Unraveled

16 July 2025: I went into Kevin Kling: Unraveled knowing just about nothing about it--and I am really glad I did. It's one thing to be moved, delighted, and entertained. It's another thing when you completely didn't see it coming. I'm grateful to have another work of art that reminds me of goodness, light, storytelling, and just the simple beauty of living and doing your best.

Before the show started, I was talking with the guy sitting next to me, a friendly and smart guy. He lives in MA now and is, if I heard him correctly, is in town because of a screening of a documentary he worked on. We talked about Shepherdstown a bit and I said it's just a "gem" of a place. CATF is another facet of that gem.

We love a good mutter...

15 July 2025: "'A girl's best friend is her mutter,' observers [Dorothy] Parker, playing on the traditional notion of a girl's dependency on her mother while suggesting that she hide her defiant thoughts through the muted indirection of muttering" (57).

I don't know much about the very witty and cool twentieth-century women writers that Sabrina Fuchs Abrams writes about in her book, but it is a lot of fun learning about them. (Another text for the "Year's Work" essay...)

Work Cited

Fuchs Abrams, Sabrina. New York Women of Wit in the Twentieth Century, The Pennsylvania State UP, 2024.

Hoffman's brick of a book

14 July 2025: Spent some of the day working my way through an 800-page book that I need some sense of for the Year's Work essay. There is no way to "cover" everything in it--we spend about a paragraph on each work, if that--but I am grateful for skills I learned way back in my undergrad work to get a sense of a book and its arguments relatively quickly and accurately. 

The book's title gives you some sense of its scope and size: Perspectives on Values the Network of Satire and Humor, the Tragic and the Absurd, the Grotesque and the Monstrous, Play and Irony, Parody and the Comic Mode. I mean, come on...it's also very German--like those huge words we laugh at--in that it is about exactly what the title promises.

The author, Gerhard Hoffman, turned a manuscript in shortly before his death in 2018. Hoffman was one of the leading scholars of American Studies in Germany and, according to the book's preface, written by a former student, he transformed the field. So this text--this absolute brick of a book--is a sort of magnum opus. A team of folks helped get it into print, including Hoffman's wife (who died in 2020). 

The book is huge and sweeping and just awe-inspiring in its scope. For me, it's almost too much--too much to take in, too completely at ease with its terminology and philosophy, and overwhelming for a reader. But that says more about me as a reader. 

Yet I did my best and carved out some notes and thoughts for that single paragraph. 

I am not sure how many of his arguments will stick in my brain, but I know I will hold onto the story of the book's journey to publication. Every bit of it is quietly moving. 

"joyful rigor"

13 July 2025: Another great episode of Vibe Check this week. I loved Saeed talking about the "joyful rigor" of writing. And even segments about shows I don't watch (like Love Island) are still so interesting and fun. 

Still places to be found...

12 July 2025: I've lived in this area since 2007 and it's still really cool to "find" new places. A few weeks ago, Amy went to the Pennsylvania Dutch Market in Hagerstown for the first time. She said it was worth checking out. We went this afternoon and it was cool; good people watching and lots of good food--both groceries, etc. and food to eat there. Not the most thrilling "special thing" to do on a weekend day, but still fun and definitely worth it. 

"Superman is the angel of our best nature"

11 July 2025: I saw Superman last night and really enjoyed its open heart and its faith in goodness and simply doing the right thing. Walter Chaw says it all so much better than I could--and does so much more. Check it out. 

Here's the piece's ending: "This country made a promise to me once–and the promise I made back to it, before I got so sour, is that I would care about others. That every life mattered to me, that making peace mattered, that standing up for the persecuted was not only my duty but also my absolute privilege. And, in particular, that I would not turn away from my responsibility in mourning. Blessed are those who mourn: they haven’t forgotten how irreplaceable every single life is. Blessed are the merciful, and those who are poor and hungry for fucking righteousness. Up up and away, motherfuckers, time to fly."

"Two Men Arrive in a Village"

10 July 2025: Listened to Edwidge Danticat read this Zadie Smith story on the New Yorker Fiction Podcast today while I mowed the lawn. So good and sadly, eternally timely. 

Fall syllabizing...

9 July 2025: Spent a decent amount of time today working on my ENGL 346: American Fiction syllabus. I haven't taught this one--a course on the novel up to 1900--since 2019. This time, because Percival Everett is going to be at the F. Scott Fitzgerald Festival, I am shaking things up, starting with Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and the moving on to James. It's a funky way to start (I usually go chronologically--and it meant dropping a couple of other books), but maybe that will make it fun in new ways.

Staying close...

8 July 2025: She always stays especially close after a thunderstorm, even after she comes out from under whatever chair in which I am sitting or desk at which I am working. 

"Replicants"

7 July 2025: Working my way through the latest season of The Bear. It's good (duh), with moments of absolute greatness, but continues to perhaps take too long and retreads familiar ground. 

But, man: the first scene of "Replicants," in which Kate Berlant (in a one-off performance, I think?) talks about her love, frustration, anger, and profound sadness towards her addict brother? I am adding it to the canon of texts that feel so sadly right to me.

I was already thinking about Ryan today, after hearing that a friend lost her sister to an overdose...

Back at it...

6 July 2025: Besides some emails, I haven't done any substantial academic work in over a week. It has felt bizarre. Got back to it today, working my way through a book for the "Year's Work" essay. Rest assured, my co-worker also reported for duty. 

Her little paw on the book prompted me to take the picture. "I'm on it," she seems to be saying, both literally and metaphorically, of course.

Nine!

5 July 2025: Eric sent me this picture from Isla's pool party for her 9th (!) birthday today. I am glad to see she put this silly little bag that I sent her to use on the one day is it relevant. 

My goodness, is time flying! Colin turned 21 this past Tuesday, which also blows my mind. 

Independence Day

4 July 2025: The bad guys can't take the Fourth of July or patriotism away from us. 

Did the day right: town parade this morning, low-key afternoon, and a night at the ballpark complete with fireworks.

(Amy took the picture of the back of my head; I kind of like it even though I said, "look at all that white hair!)

"Tired of Love Poems"

3 July 2025: 

"What we tire of is that we never tire of it.

How it guts us. How it fails, then reappears.

Because what is the bird compared to you?"

Saeed Jones read Megan Fernandes's "Tired of Love Poems" on this week's Vibe Check and I really enjoyed it. That was before the awful news about the dumb bill passing and just more and more awfulness closing in everywhere. 

I read the poem again this evening and I am thinking about it still, glad for the reminder that we never tire of love (even when it is a big risk, when it hurts, or when it ends badly), and that love feeds hope, and both keep us going and fighting. 

Home again!

2 July 2025: After a good trip, it is lovely to be home with my girls. Jo was literally bouncing off the walls with excitement and Veronica couldn't help but come down, be seen, and do some staring that I will describe as "not-so-secretly glad to see me."

Sleepy Hollow Cemetery

1 July 2025: Today's return to Sleepy Hollow Cemetery moved me more than ever before and it's hard to explain why--at least quickly. 

But I found myself crying standing in front of the tiny marker that just says "Henry," Louisa May Alcott's stone and the American flag she earned working as a nurse in D.C., Hawthorne's family group, and, of course, Emerson's rock. 

The pens, pencils, and little notes left by others get me every time, but even more this time. They are little offerings of gratitude and connection. 

So much in our country seems broken right now, on the day that stupid "big beautiful bill" passes in the Senate. 

These writers, though? They point us to a better way. And they made me who I am--the kind of person who wants to help shape that better way for everyone else. 

There they all are, at eternal rest together, but their words live on. It's corny and cheesy, but it's beautiful and left me wiping my eyes on the Authors' Ridge today. 

"Draw Me Ishmael"

30 June 2025: I hadn't realized this exhibit was still at the Peabody Essex Museum and was thrilled to get a chance to see it. What a gem this museum is, too. I will think about Anila Quayyum Agha's beautiful "All the Flowers Are for Me" for a long time, too.

Wheatley's grave...

29 June 2025: We had a good day in Boston, but the part I keep thinking about is Copp's Hill Burial Ground. At lunch, I read that Phillis Wheatley was buried there and instantly knew I wanted us to stop by. 

Now if I had read a bit closer, I would have learned that it is believed she is buried there--in what was an unmarked grave in plot for Black Americans--with her newborn baby who died just around the time she did. 

And if I had thought about it more closely, I would have doubted that her burial spot would have been much for anyone to commemorate back in 1784.

But it still felt right and good to walk there, to walk around the grounds, and feel both her presence and her absense.  

Back to Massachusetts

28 June 2025: Spent most of the day in the car with Jane, heading up to Massachusetts for a few days. A bit tired as I write this, but ready for a full day tomorrow. 

Andor

27 June 2025: Given all the political news (including just awful stuff out of the Supreme Court today), it's a heck of a week to start watching Andor. But seeing it was available for a limited time on Hulu, I decided to give it a shot, given all I have heard about how good it is. 

Me being me, I teared up time and again while watching, especially "One Way Out" and "Rix Road." What a show for this moment. 

(On to Season 2, I guess. We'll see how far I can get before the free window on Hulu runs out.) 

"Least Complicated"

26 June 2025: Been humming this one all day after yesterday's concert. (They didn't sing this one, but that's okay!)

Indigo Girls!

25 June 2025: 

[Catch-up post]

Last night, Allison and I saw the Indigo Girls in Richmond. A great show with a great friend!

And I got the bonus of seeing Mike, Matt, and all the pets. 

(Back up to WV this morning.)

Zohran!

24 June 2025: Holy cow! Not sure how it will all shake out in the end, but it's hard not to be very excited about the first round of votes in the NYC mayoral race. There isn't a lot to be excited about, politics-wise, these days. And the establishment Democrats continue to shoot themselves in the foot. 

But this guy? These results? 

Gives me hope!

Heat wave...

24 June 2025: A heat wave settled in today (actually yesterday, but today was fiercer!). Should last until Thursday. Yuck. Got out early and mowed the lawn and did a bit of yard work. I've been more or less inside all day since then except for a brief trip to Walgreen's. 

Reading for the Year's Work essay, taking notes, watching TV, getting the rest of my steps in doing laps around the first floor...there are a lot worse ways to get through a heat wave. 

Grateful for AC that works, a job that lets me stay inside when it's hot, and two cats who aren't that upset about the shut-up windows and are glad to have me here with them.

2006!

22 June 2025: I was sort of keeping track of the upcoming milestone of 2000 days of at least 10,000 steps, but then lost sight of it. Checked yesterday and saw that that was day 2005. Ha!

Anyway, today I hit 2006 days. I think it's pretty cool and weird, but in a good way.

(By the way, a while ago, I realized I was calculating the days a bit incorrectly. So my milestone posts marking the first 1800 days or so were off by a day. Day 365, for instance, was actually day 366.) 

Highs and lows...

21 June 2025: Man, we (Amy, Jason, and I) had a nice night at the Boxcars game: free straw hats, great conversation, and a win in the tenth inning.

Hell of a thing come home to tonight's news. Grateful for the bits of joy in such an overwhelmingly sad moment for our nation and the world. (I swear, at the park I even thought, "I bet I'll look at my phone and see that maniac bombed Iran...")

BabyBud...

20 June 2025: Got to meet Theo today and see Hannah for the first time in a while. Just a wonderful experience all around. 

Board member...

19 June 2025: I could write 10,000 words about this, but will settle for much fewer: I became an official member of Shepherd's Board of Governors today. Big responsibility and not something I am excited about, but I'll do my best. 

"Altitude"

18 June 2025:  Check out Airea D. Matthews' "Altitude," a reimagining of the Icarus story. The whole thing is great, but here's the ending: 

"My fall, well, yes,

those depths matter less.

What I learned by height—

that’s the story."

I read this poem first thing this morning, after another restless night, this time thanks to multiple astonishingly loud thunderstorms, and it--a bit like thunder--knocked me out. 

Long, good day

17 June 2025: 

Things I did today: slept in a tiny bit because I slept awful the night before, mowed the lawn, had lunch with Tim and two recent graduates, helped do a bit of advising for the last group of entering first-year students, did some planning for next semester with Tim (we are taking our students to the Poe House), did some research work, hosted trivia, played with BabyCat and the laser pointer (a promise I made to her yesterday), and listened to a heck of a thunderstorm roll through (with Jo hiding under my chair). 

Not the most exciting post, but I kind of like days like this. 

Only queens...

16 June 2025: Still thinking about Saturday...

The Life of Chuck

15 June 2025: When a movie opens with Walt Whitman, it has my attention. And The Life of Chuck is a sweet and moving film that earns its evocation of the Good Gray Poet. I found myself tearing up and smiling and just really loved it. 

No Kings!

14 June 2025: Didn't take too many pictures, but it was amazing to see hundreds and hundreds of people say "No Kings!" in Shepherdstown. So much love and hope!

Guy who I didn't know says to me, "I'm a Red Sox fan, but we are on the same team here." And then we talked about Aaron Judge for a few minutes. It was awesome. God bless America and baseball.

Nineteenth-century snark...

13 June 2025: Laughed out loud at this bit about nineteenth-century American poet Phoebe Cary (sister of Alice): "Once asked whether she and her unmarried sister had ever had their hearts broken she replied, 'No, but a great many of my married friends have'" (qtd. in Petrino 200).

Interesting to think about especially after seeing Materialists this evening.

Work Cited

Petrino, Elizabeth A. "Speaking Double: Parody as Resistance in Nineteenth-Century American Women's Poetry." Studies in American Humor, vol. 10, no. 2, 2024, pp. 186-207.

Fixed!

12 June 2025: Very happy to report that the HVAC is fixed. And me, the cheapskate, immediately shut it off. (I got a new tower fan that works quite nicely right now.)

Jo was also impressed by Dustin, the HVAC man, who gave her some head scratches. Here she is, watching him right before he departs, perhaps a bit smitten.

"Don't Worry Baby"

11 June 2025: Thinking about Brian Wilson today with the news of his death. This is one of my favorite Beach Boys songs. A little story that is so cool, so romantic, with tinges of melancholy and (weirdly in a good way?) even maybe the hint of an impending tragedy.

Summer Advising

10 June 2025: I can't even begin to write about the state of the country right now--and more and more, I ask myself how "normal" it is to keep acting like things are normal. But I can't/won't let the bad guys steal every moment of peace or happiness. So, here's a post about some good stuff.

I got to help another group of incoming English majors register for their first semeter--and helped some students in other majors, too. It's not nearly as much fun as it used to be, as I know I have posted about so many times. But I still got to meet these new students and spend time with my colleagues and just feel good about the work we do. 

I'll take it.

Breeze catchers...

9 June 2025: 

First comment about this picture: where were these kinds of poses yesterday, BabyCat? (Don't miss Jo by the door, also catching breezes.)

Second comment: I am so glad this house has that back door with the screen. On days like this, it provides much needed circulation and cool breezes (not to mention the bird songs). It's especially good on a day like this, where the very nice HVAC technician diagnosed a burned out motor on my system. A new part has been ordered and until then, we'll continue to make due without much discomfort. (Ceiling fans help, too!)

Third comment: I am so grateful to have the resources to handle a big-ish expense like this repair. This third comment, in fact, inspired the whole post. Grateful, grateful, grateful. 

Ten!

8 June 2025: She won't pose for a decent picture, but here she is, full of deep thoughts and Lil Soup.

She is still so much herself. The most complicated cat I've ever known.

And man, I just love her more and more every year. 

Boxcars!

7 June 2025: Long day today, but happy to cap it off with some friends at our first Boxcars game this summer.

Almost done...

6 May 2025: A couple of days ago, I titled my post "Almost there..." I want to argue that today's post, titled "Almost done..." sounds the same, but it actually means something different in my head. In the first post, I was talking about an idea--almost having it down. I (think I) finally got it--yesterday.

Today "Almost done..." refers to a decent complete draft of the paper. I have a couple of places where I need to write another sentence or two, but I think I can knock them out on Sunday. (Tomorrow is booked from start to finish with other stuff.)

If I can knock those sentences out, that'll be the last item on my weekly "to do" list: a complete draft. (Yes, those lists are back, and that's okay.) 

It does feel a bit weird to be pressuring myself to have a solid, polished draft of this thing done in the next week or so. The conference is in November and I don't know yet if I'll have 15 or 20 minutes. But the one thing I know is that if I can get things done ahead of time--before the semester starts--I'll be happier. 

Lost and found...

5 June 2025: Last fall, my old laptop just stopped working. I felt mostly okay about its abrupt exit because everything was backed up. But later, I realized a few things weren't including, almost all of my video files. 

I figured this out when I went looking for a series of videos of me arriving home from work and waking up Bing who had, by that time, gone deaf. He always woke up happy to see me and it made me happy. 

And they were gone. 

So, I was bummed.

Every once in a while, I would think, I should just try one more time to see if that old computer will turn on. Today, I finally tried. 

And it worked.

From October 2020, with bonus Wesley content that also made me smile and tear up. Those amazing boys...

You can be darn sure I backed those videos up. 

Almost there...

4 June 2025: I am in a phase of drafting my SSAWW paper where the nuanced version central idea is starting to come together. (I have a thesis, but usually there’s a more specific one lurking, waiting to emerge.) A piece just clicked into place a couple of hours ago—about a lack of authorial intention—that feels promising. There’s just one more piece, I think, and I am on the verge. 

It’s a cool place to be. The frustrating is slowly receding and the next step—a complete first draft—is coming up, Lord willing.

"a 'boom' in it"

3 June 2025: Made my way through a really cool new edition of Twain's Pudd'nhead Wilson today and was delighted by a couple of excerpts from his letters that appeared in the editor's introduction.

First, in 1892, he writes about his enthuiasm for the book and notes, “I believe there’s a ‘boom’ in it” (520). 

Second, in 1893, he tells a friend, “I’ve finished the book & revised it. The book didn’t cost me any fatigue, but revising it nearly killed me. Revising books is a mistake” (545).

Work Cited

Griffin, Benjamin, editor. Pudd’nhead Wilson: Manuscript and Revised Versions with “Those Extraordinary Twins.” By Mark Twain, U of California P, 2024. 

A study in contrasts...

2 June 2025: For the "Year's Work" essay, I spent some time this afternoon reading through a new collection of Twain's writing, a collection with a pretty cool theme and idea driving it. I was so disappointed, though, that the editor made a point of highlighting and celebrating these awful AI-generated illustrations he included. They are so janky-looking and depressing. 

Moreover, right after, I reviewed another new collection, this one structured around gathering and celebrating human-created illustrations. The constrasts between the two approaches and their results are stunning. 

And, of course, I keep thinking about the piece I read and blogged about specifically about what Twain can teach us about AI.

Graduation Brunch...

1 June 2025: I was in a melancholy mood for a lot of yesterday, so I am grateful that today offered an opportunity to bring my spirits up. I was invited to a graduation brunch for Louisa, Lucy, and Flora (the first two, from high school, and Flora, from college). I've known these kids since they were little--since the younger ones were in pre-school--so it is mind-blowing to see them so grown-up. But they are also three kids who will do great things in the world. There's that hope I was talking about yesterday.

“lonely old courage-teacher”

31 May 2025: 

“Ah, dear father, graybeard, lonely old courage-teacher, what America did you have when Charon quit poling his ferry and you got out on a smoking bank and stood watching the boat disappear on the black waters of Lethe?” –Allen Ginsberg’s closing line to “A Supermarket in California”

Like every year when we reach May 31, I find myself thinking about Whitman. This year, with everything that he loved about America under attack, I find myself voicing the least poetic and almost embarrassing echo of Allen Ginsberg’s “A Supermarket in California.” 

This could not have been the America Whitman had in mind when he took his last breath. The ignorance, hate, and cruelty can bring you to your knees with sadness. (And here I think of the bowed knees in "The Wound Dresser," an symbol of devastation, exhaustion, and deepest pain, but also respect, holiness, humility, and servitude.)

And here I see that maybe I am wrong or at least not completely right—and here I contradict myself, I guess—because he also would see a lot to love and so many to root for. On a quiet Saturday night, my mind fills with images of those who give me faith and hope, even if they sit alongside all of what makes me despair. 

Our “lonely old courage-teacher” is more important than ever. 

Even As We Breathe

30 May 2025: Just finished Even As We Breathe, by Anne Saunooke Clapsaddle, this fall's Appalachian Heritage Writer-in-Residence. I enjoyed it, especially the way Clapsaddle plays with memory and storytelling, with our young narrator conjuring, for instance, vivid memories of moments he couldn't possibly remember (or could he?). 

I also admire a book that honors the kind of relationships or love that defy easy categorization. In one scene, Cowney, as an old man, reflects back on his youthful, love-struck self: "I couldn't understand why we weren't an automatic fit for each other, a promised pair in this strange place. In the years since, I have learned that not all love is made of equal parts. There are more kinds of deep affection than we are sometimes willing to accept in our society" (106).

Work Cited

Clapsaddle, Annette Saunooke. Even As We Breathe. Fireside Industries Books, 2020. 

Still scared and nosy...

29 May 2025: A handywoman (who is also a former student) came over today for a couple of projects. Once again, Jo proved herself to be both scared and nosy, with nosy winning out eventually, as she crept closer even with the loud sander going.

Quite the resume...

28 May 2025: As I type up notes this evening, I am continuing the very slow first-time watch of C.S.I. (started last summer). I made it to season five, episode 15, where a very familiar face played the very much non-nurturing mother of an "adult baby." (This show is so wild...)

Anyway, the actress, Nan Martin, had a long career, but two iconic (to me) roles stand out: Freddy Krueger's mom in A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Child and Frieda Claxton on Golden Girls. 

What a career!