Sleepy Hollow Cemetery

1 July 2025: Today's return to Sleepy Hollow Cemetery moved me more than ever before and it's hard to explain why--at least quickly. 

But I found myself crying standing in front of the tiny marker that just says "Henry," Louisa May Alcott's stone and the American flag she earned working as a nurse in D.C., Hawthorne's family group, and, of course, Emerson's rock. 

The pens, pencils, and little notes left by others get me every time, but even more this time. They are little offerings of gratitude and connection. 

So much in our country seems broken right now, on the day that stupid "big beautiful bill" passes in the Senate. 

These writers, though? They point us to a better way. And they made me who I am--the kind of person who wants to help shape that better way for everyone else. 

There they all are, at eternal rest together, but their words live on. It's corny and cheesy, but it's beautiful and left me wiping my eyes on the Authors' Ridge today. 

"Draw Me Ishmael"

30 June 2025: I hadn't realized this exhibit was still at the Peabody Essex Museum and was thrilled to get a chance to see it. What a gem this museum is, too. I will think about Anila Quayyum Agha's beautiful "All the Flowers Are for Me" for a long time, too.

Wheatley's grave...

29 June 2025: We had a good day in Boston, but the part I keep thinking about is Copp's Hill Burial Ground. At lunch, I read that Phillis Wheatley was buried there and instantly knew I wanted us to stop by. 

Now if I had read a bit closer, I would have learned that it is believed she is buried there--in what was an unmarked grave in plot for Black Americans--with her newborn baby who died just around the time she did. 

And if I had thought about it more closely, I would have doubted that her burial spot would have been much for anyone to commemorate back in 1784.

But it still felt right and good to walk there, to walk around the grounds, and feel both her presence and her absense.  

Back to Massachusetts

28 June 2025: Spent most of the day in the car with Jane, heading up to Massachusetts for a few days. A bit tired as I write this, but ready for a full day tomorrow. 

Andor

27 June 2025: Given all the political news (including just awful stuff out of the Supreme Court today), it's a heck of a week to start watching Andor. But seeing it was available for a limited time on Hulu, I decided to give it a shot, given all I have heard about how good it is. 

Me being me, I teared up time and again while watching, especially "One Way Out" and "Rix Road." What a show for this moment. 

(On to Season 2, I guess. We'll see how far I can get before the free window on Hulu runs out.) 

"Least Complicated"

26 June 2025: Been humming this one all day after yesterday's concert. (They didn't sing this one, but that's okay!)

Indigo Girls!

25 June 2025: 

[Catch-up post]

Last night, Allison and I saw the Indigo Girls in Richmond. A great show with a great friend!

And I got the bonus of seeing Mike, Matt, and all the pets. 

(Back up to WV this morning.)

Zohran!

24 June 2025: Holy cow! Not sure how it will all shake out in the end, but it's hard not to be very excited about the first round of votes in the NYC mayoral race. There isn't a lot to be excited about, politics-wise, these days. And the establishment Democrats continue to shoot themselves in the foot. 

But this guy? These results? 

Gives me hope!

Heat wave...

24 June 2025: A heat wave settled in today (actually yesterday, but today was fiercer!). Should last until Thursday. Yuck. Got out early and mowed the lawn and did a bit of yard work. I've been more or less inside all day since then except for a brief trip to Walgreen's. 

Reading for the Year's Work essay, taking notes, watching TV, getting the rest of my steps in doing laps around the first floor...there are a lot worse ways to get through a heat wave. 

Grateful for AC that works, a job that lets me stay inside when it's hot, and two cats who aren't that upset about the shut-up windows and are glad to have me here with them.

2006!

22 June 2025: I was sort of keeping track of the upcoming milestone of 2000 days of at least 10,000 steps, but then lost sight of it. Checked yesterday and saw that that was day 2005. Ha!

Anyway, today I hit 2006 days. I think it's pretty cool and weird, but in a good way.

(By the way, a while ago, I realized I was calculating the days a bit incorrectly. So my milestone posts marking the first 1800 days or so were off by a day. Day 365, for instance, was actually day 366.) 

Highs and lows...

21 June 2025: Man, we (Amy, Jason, and I) had a nice night at the Boxcars game: free straw hats, great conversation, and a win in the tenth inning.

Hell of a thing come home to tonight's news. Grateful for the bits of joy in such an overwhelmingly sad moment for our nation and the world. (I swear, at the park I even thought, "I bet I'll look at my phone and see that maniac bombed Iran...")

BabyBud...

20 June 2025: Got to meet Theo today and see Hannah for the first time in a while. Just a wonderful experience all around. 

Board member...

19 June 2025: I could write 10,000 words about this, but will settle for much fewer: I became an official member of Shepherd's Board of Governors today. Big responsibility and not something I am excited about, but I'll do my best. 

"Altitude"

18 June 2025:  Check out Airea D. Matthews' "Altitude," a reimagining of the Icarus story. The whole thing is great, but here's the ending: 

"My fall, well, yes,

those depths matter less.

What I learned by height—

that’s the story."

I read this poem first thing this morning, after another restless night, this time thanks to multiple astonishingly loud thunderstorms, and it--a bit like thunder--knocked me out. 

Long, good day

17 June 2025: 

Things I did today: slept in a tiny bit because I slept awful the night before, mowed the lawn, had lunch with Tim and two recent graduates, helped do a bit of advising for the last group of entering first-year students, did some planning for next semester with Tim (we are taking our students to the Poe House), did some research work, hosted trivia, played with BabyCat and the laser pointer (a promise I made to her yesterday), and listened to a heck of a thunderstorm roll through (with Jo hiding under my chair). 

Not the most exciting post, but I kind of like days like this. 

Only queens...

16 June 2025: Still thinking about Saturday...

The Life of Chuck

15 June 2025: When a movie opens with Walt Whitman, it has my attention. And The Life of Chuck is a sweet and moving film that earns its evocation of the Good Gray Poet. I found myself tearing up and smiling and just really loved it. 

No Kings!

14 June 2025: Didn't take too many pictures, but it was amazing to see hundreds and hundreds of people say "No Kings!" in Shepherdstown. So much love and hope!

Guy who I didn't know says to me, "I'm a Red Sox fan, but we are on the same team here." And then we talked about Aaron Judge for a few minutes. It was awesome. God bless America and baseball.

Nineteenth-century snark...

13 June 2025: Laughed out loud at this bit about nineteenth-century American poet Phoebe Cary (sister of Alice): "Once asked whether she and her unmarried sister had ever had their hearts broken she replied, 'No, but a great many of my married friends have'" (qtd. in Petrino 200).

Interesting to think about especially after seeing Materialists this evening.

Work Cited

Petrino, Elizabeth A. "Speaking Double: Parody as Resistance in Nineteenth-Century American Women's Poetry." Studies in American Humor, vol. 10, no. 2, 2024, pp. 186-207.

Fixed!

12 June 2025: Very happy to report that the HVAC is fixed. And me, the cheapskate, immediately shut it off. (I got a new tower fan that works quite nicely right now.)

Jo was also impressed by Dustin, the HVAC man, who gave her some head scratches. Here she is, watching him right before he departs, perhaps a bit smitten.

"Don't Worry Baby"

11 June 2025: Thinking about Brian Wilson today with the news of his death. This is one of my favorite Beach Boys songs. A little story that is so cool, so romantic, with tinges of melancholy and (weirdly in a good way?) even maybe the hint of an impending tragedy.

Summer Advising

10 June 2025: I can't even begin to write about the state of the country right now--and more and more, I ask myself how "normal" it is to keep acting like things are normal. But I can't/won't let the bad guys steal every moment of peace or happiness. So, here's a post about some good stuff.

I got to help another group of incoming English majors register for their first semeter--and helped some students in other majors, too. It's not nearly as much fun as it used to be, as I know I have posted about so many times. But I still got to meet these new students and spend time with my colleagues and just feel good about the work we do. 

I'll take it.

Breeze catchers...

9 June 2025: 

First comment about this picture: where were these kinds of poses yesterday, BabyCat? (Don't miss Jo by the door, also catching breezes.)

Second comment: I am so glad this house has that back door with the screen. On days like this, it provides much needed circulation and cool breezes (not to mention the bird songs). It's especially good on a day like this, where the very nice HVAC technician diagnosed a burned out motor on my system. A new part has been ordered and until then, we'll continue to make due without much discomfort. (Ceiling fans help, too!)

Third comment: I am so grateful to have the resources to handle a big-ish expense like this repair. This third comment, in fact, inspired the whole post. Grateful, grateful, grateful. 

Ten!

8 June 2025: She won't pose for a decent picture, but here she is, full of deep thoughts and Lil Soup.

She is still so much herself. The most complicated cat I've ever known.

And man, I just love her more and more every year. 

Boxcars!

7 June 2025: Long day today, but happy to cap it off with some friends at our first Boxcars game this summer.

Almost done...

6 May 2025: A couple of days ago, I titled my post "Almost there..." I want to argue that today's post, titled "Almost done..." sounds the same, but it actually means something different in my head. In the first post, I was talking about an idea--almost having it down. I (think I) finally got it--yesterday.

Today "Almost done..." refers to a decent complete draft of the paper. I have a couple of places where I need to write another sentence or two, but I think I can knock them out on Sunday. (Tomorrow is booked from start to finish with other stuff.)

If I can knock those sentences out, that'll be the last item on my weekly "to do" list: a complete draft. (Yes, those lists are back, and that's okay.) 

It does feel a bit weird to be pressuring myself to have a solid, polished draft of this thing done in the next week or so. The conference is in November and I don't know yet if I'll have 15 or 20 minutes. But the one thing I know is that if I can get things done ahead of time--before the semester starts--I'll be happier. 

Lost and found...

5 June 2025: Last fall, my old laptop just stopped working. I felt mostly okay about its abrupt exit because everything was backed up. But later, I realized a few things weren't including, almost all of my video files. 

I figured this out when I went looking for a series of videos of me arriving home from work and waking up Bing who had, by that time, gone deaf. He always woke up happy to see me and it made me happy. 

And they were gone. 

So, I was bummed.

Every once in a while, I would think, I should just try one more time to see if that old computer will turn on. Today, I finally tried. 

And it worked.

From October 2020, with bonus Wesley content that also made me smile and tear up. Those amazing boys...

You can be darn sure I backed those videos up. 

Almost there...

4 June 2025: I am in a phase of drafting my SSAWW paper where the nuanced version central idea is starting to come together. (I have a thesis, but usually there’s a more specific one lurking, waiting to emerge.) A piece just clicked into place a couple of hours ago—about a lack of authorial intention—that feels promising. There’s just one more piece, I think, and I am on the verge. 

It’s a cool place to be. The frustrating is slowly receding and the next step—a complete first draft—is coming up, Lord willing.

"a 'boom' in it"

3 June 2025: Made my way through a really cool new edition of Twain's Pudd'nhead Wilson today and was delighted by a couple of excerpts from his letters that appeared in the editor's introduction.

First, in 1892, he writes about his enthuiasm for the book and notes, “I believe there’s a ‘boom’ in it” (520). 

Second, in 1893, he tells a friend, “I’ve finished the book & revised it. The book didn’t cost me any fatigue, but revising it nearly killed me. Revising books is a mistake” (545).

Work Cited

Griffin, Benjamin, editor. Pudd’nhead Wilson: Manuscript and Revised Versions with “Those Extraordinary Twins.” By Mark Twain, U of California P, 2024. 

A study in contrasts...

2 June 2025: For the "Year's Work" essay, I spent some time this afternoon reading through a new collection of Twain's writing, a collection with a pretty cool theme and idea driving it. I was so disappointed, though, that the editor made a point of highlighting and celebrating these awful AI-generated illustrations he included. They are so janky-looking and depressing. 

Moreover, right after, I reviewed another new collection, this one structured around gathering and celebrating human-created illustrations. The constrasts between the two approaches and their results are stunning. 

And, of course, I keep thinking about the piece I read and blogged about specifically about what Twain can teach us about AI.

Graduation Brunch...

1 June 2025: I was in a melancholy mood for a lot of yesterday, so I am grateful that today offered an opportunity to bring my spirits up. I was invited to a graduation brunch for Louisa, Lucy, and Flora (the first two, from high school, and Flora, from college). I've known these kids since they were little--since the younger ones were in pre-school--so it is mind-blowing to see them so grown-up. But they are also three kids who will do great things in the world. There's that hope I was talking about yesterday.

“lonely old courage-teacher”

31 May 2025: 

“Ah, dear father, graybeard, lonely old courage-teacher, what America did you have when Charon quit poling his ferry and you got out on a smoking bank and stood watching the boat disappear on the black waters of Lethe?” –Allen Ginsberg’s closing line to “A Supermarket in California”

Like every year when we reach May 31, I find myself thinking about Whitman. This year, with everything that he loved about America under attack, I find myself voicing the least poetic and almost embarrassing echo of Allen Ginsberg’s “A Supermarket in California.” 

This could not have been the America Whitman had in mind when he took his last breath. The ignorance, hate, and cruelty can bring you to your knees with sadness. (And here I think of the bowed knees in "The Wound Dresser," an symbol of devastation, exhaustion, and deepest pain, but also respect, holiness, humility, and servitude.)

And here I see that maybe I am wrong or at least not completely right—and here I contradict myself, I guess—because he also would see a lot to love and so many to root for. On a quiet Saturday night, my mind fills with images of those who give me faith and hope, even if they sit alongside all of what makes me despair. 

Our “lonely old courage-teacher” is more important than ever. 

Even As We Breathe

30 May 2025: Just finished Even As We Breathe, by Anne Saunooke Clapsaddle, this fall's Appalachian Heritage Writer-in-Residence. I enjoyed it, especially the way Clapsaddle plays with memory and storytelling, with our young narrator conjuring, for instance, vivid memories of moments he couldn't possibly remember (or could he?). 

I also admire a book that honors the kind of relationships or love that defy easy categorization. In one scene, Cowney, as an old man, reflects back on his youthful, love-struck self: "I couldn't understand why we weren't an automatic fit for each other, a promised pair in this strange place. In the years since, I have learned that not all love is made of equal parts. There are more kinds of deep affection than we are sometimes willing to accept in our society" (106).

Work Cited

Clapsaddle, Annette Saunooke. Even As We Breathe. Fireside Industries Books, 2020. 

Still scared and nosy...

29 May 2025: A handywoman (who is also a former student) came over today for a couple of projects. Once again, Jo proved herself to be both scared and nosy, with nosy winning out eventually, as she crept closer even with the loud sander going.

Quite the resume...

28 May 2025: As I type up notes this evening, I am continuing the very slow first-time watch of C.S.I. (started last summer). I made it to season five, episode 15, where a very familiar face played the very much non-nurturing mother of an "adult baby." (This show is so wild...)

Anyway, the actress, Nan Martin, had a long career, but two iconic (to me) roles stand out: Freddy Krueger's mom in A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Child and Frieda Claxton on Golden Girls. 

What a career! 

Do cats hallucinate?

27 May 2025: When I got home from trivia a bit ago, Jo was chasing something around the house quite insistently. But I didn't see anything. She would stop for a bit, then take off again, agitated as heck. But still, I couldn't see anything. I was like, "Ummm...is she seeing something that isn't there?" Was she hallucinating? 

And then I went into a mini-spiral: is it because she only has one eye? Is it because she's sick? She did sneeze a time or two and had a little more sleep in her eye than usual? And if she is seeing things, what does that mean? 

Never was more relieved when an actual fly moved through the room. Whew! 

(It even dive-bombed my head as I typed this; I suspect she's already made contact with it and it isn't at full-abiilties!)

And, yes: they can hallucinate, apparently, but she wasn't. 

He even taught the cat tricks...

26 May 2025: I really love a piece like Kevin Mac Donnell's essay on George Griffin, who worked as a butler of sorts for Sam Clemens and his family for years and who a model for Jim in Huck Finn (along with two other men). It's a combination biography, literary criticism, and detective story. Mac Donnell tells readers the story of George's life--a truly astounding one, fit for a movie or a stand-alone book. Then he introduces and does a close reading of a recent discovery--the only known photo of this extraordinary man. 

Mac Donnell is such a good writer that he makes it work better that you expect it to--the whole thing: the biography, the historiography, the authentication and verification of that photo. It's a lot to do in a limited space. And then he just nails the ending, explaining why that photo matters.

“We have had a much longer time to think about Mr. Griffin than Huck had to think about Jim, but have we really seen Mr. Griffin before us all that time? If not, we can certainly see Mr. Griffin before us now. He meets our gazes, eye-to-eye, confident, human, knowing. Do we see his humanity? We Americans—all of us—have had a very long time to look into the faces of others who do not look like us—others—whose races, ages, sexes, ethnicities, heights, weights, disabilities, sexual identities, religions, and socioeconomic classes do not mirror our own. Surely, we see their humanity. But as we move forward, shall we, like Huck, be willing to go to hell for the sake of our common humanity?” (44).

[And yes: Griffin taught one of the Clemens' cats, Abner, how to ring the bell four times "like a servant" (19).]

Work Cited

Mac Donnell, Kevin. “George Griffin: Meeting Mark Twain’s Butler Face-to-Face.” Mark Twain Journal, vol. 62, no. 1, 2024, pp. 11–58.

"Exodus"

25 May 2025: Finally getting caught up on the last season of The Handmaid's Tale and though there are lots of legitimate criticisms to make of the show, darn it if it still doesn't get to me. One line in "Exodus," the episode I just finished, made me tear up (even as I was annoyed at myself for being taken in): 

"We're rising up because in each and every one of us is this immaculate soul that was given to us by God that is just crying out for dignity and freedom."

Pretty good writing, especially in these hard days.

"Sometime in the Morning"

24 May 2025: Felt the urge to listen to The Monkees on my evening walk. I remembered how much I really liked this one when I was little.

Late afternoon soak...

23 May 2025: My nightly bath is a simple luxury, a way to wind down before bed--and I love it so much. But a new(ish) player on the scene--a late afternoon soak--is also quite nice. Took one today around 4:00 when I got home from working on campus. Especially on a Friday with no plans, this earlier indulgence works really well.

"not a labor of exposition so much as a labor of discovery"

22 May 2025: Getting started in earnest working through the articles and books for the “Year’s Work in Humor Studies” that I am once again co-writing, beginning with the Twain stuff. I found myself really into Bruce Michelson’s piece about what Twain can teach us about AI. Here’s a long passage that I enthusiastically marked up (setting up Michelson’s point that Twain is a writer work turning to on this topic): 

“Utterance that matters to us is not a labor of exposition so much as a labor of discovery. We become who we are, we construct and furbish our own consciousness by struggling for the right words; and the result—again, if we are lucky—is not just felicitous utterance but deeper and richer inner life. The kind of writing that matters is never a low-engagement process of fitting discourse together like pieces from an IKEA flat-pack. The effort of revision, of ruthlessly interrogating ourselves on relationships between each possible utterance and the next, is not a tidying up but a telling of a story— in some dimensions always a fiction—of one’s own mind in motion, describing or implying cognitive and emotional journeys with more poise and clearer steadier direction than the actual jumps, backtracks, and flashes from which presentable thinking might (thanks to these private struggles to find the words and the order) eventually emerge. Which leads to at least one collateral paradox: though veteran teachers may see a measure of truth in my attempt here to describe these dynamics, they also recognize how difficult it can be to convey it, given the imperatives and longstanding practices embedded in how American colleges and universities normally teach the production of passable expository prose” (4-5).

Work Cited

Michelson, Bruce. "Mark Twain Legacies in the Dawn of Gen AI." The Mark Twain Annual, vol. 22, 2024, p. 1-20.

Old school research tools...

21 May 2025: Betty has mostly moved out of her office leaving just a few remants behind, including a big stack of these: old school volumes of the MLA Bibliography. I never had to use these paper copies--databases came just in time for me--and holy cow, I am grateful for that.

Summer Institute planning...

20 May 2025: We had a really good and productive meeting this afternoon planning for our NWP Summer Institute. I love the reminder of how smart and creative my colleagues are. 

Now I need to prepare for my "day" of the pre-institute. Here's hoping some good inspiration hits me tonight or tomorrow morning. 

"Sugar in the Tank"

19 May 2025: Digging this one...

Quiet May Sunday...

18 May 2025: Maybe the most public part of my day today was getting a breakfast sandwich at Sheetz. Didn't even really pass too many people on my walk later in the morning. Spent the rest of the day home with Jo and Veronica, just taking it easy. 

It's been a nice day overall. Finishing it up by doing some early work on this year's "Year's Work" essay for Studies in American Humor and watching the Yankees/Mets game. 

Tote painting...

17 May 2025: After a strage start and hard start to the day--meeting with the claims adjustor for my parents' house--I was glad to spend the afternoon with Jane. We painted these tote bags that came as part of an arts & crafts subscription for adults subscription that Erin and her family gave me for Christmas. Then we got lunch in town and ice-cream at Rockhill Creamery. Just a really nice day.

My tote; I am so bad at art, so I went for simple and Whitman-esque.

Jane's tote, which is much prettier and much more ambitious!

"all kinds of magic in the world..."

16 May 2025: “There are all kinds of magic in the world…And the sort of magic that ensures that when someone has decided that they would like a cat, a cat finds their way into their life” (59).

Working on some more notes for my SSAWW paper and came across this quotation that delighted me the first time I read Not Quite a Ghost. (I alluded to the book's cat in this post earlier this week.)

Makes me think of these two, who bring me so much happiness.

Work Cited

Ursu, Anne. Not Quite a Ghost. HarperCollins Publishers, 2024.

Jo, But Make It Lil Jo...

15 May 2025: Riffing on a social media account for my title here, but I realized yesterday that there's a connection between my first view of Jo (on Petfinder) and her "new" skill/habit--which she has gotten better at.

This morning, I found another example, though not as dramatic...

Fresh cut...

14 May 2025: Got my hair cut this morning and once again had a great conversation with Isabelle. This time we talked about her recent family cruise where she and her husband renewed their vows, along with her daughter and son-in-law. It was an especially fun conversation because we talked about the plans during my previous visits. Sounds like everything went really well, though she said it was tiring (ha!). She even showed me a sweet video. 

"Return need not be regression"

13 May 2025: “Power, too, can be adapted—that is, destabilized, disrupted—and again both memory and mutation, theme and variation are at work. Return need not be regression” (Hutcheon 175).

Thinking a lot about Hutcheon's work on adaptation--particularly this idea--as I conceptuatlize my SSAWW paper, about a YA book inspired by Gilman's "The Yellow Wallpaper." 

Work Cited

Hutcheon, Linda. A Theory of Adaptation. 2nd ed., Routledge, 2013. 

Yardwork day...

12 May 2025: I had planned to do some work in the yard today--a trip to Home Depot for some plants that I would then plant/pot when I got home. Then tomorrow, I thought I'd go to the really good nursery in Maryland for the rest of my plants and put them in the ground in the next couple of days. But the weather was so nice today and Home Depot's selections were not great. Plus, I realized that it's supposed to start raining this evening and there's rain in the forecast for until Thursday...so I also wanted to mow the lawn today. By about 9:30 a.m., I was ready to go "all in" on a yardwork day. 

Cleaned out the flower beds and then mowed the lawn (mowing over all the weeds I had pulled). Drove to the other nursery and got the good stuff. Put it all in the ground or in pots on the porch and deck. Feeling tired, but accomplished.

The SSAWW essay work I had planned for today (most of it, anyway) can wait until tomorrow--a better rainy day activity than mowing or planting! 

Jo's new skill...

11 May 2025: This one is sort of my fault: I would place a toy on top of their new scratching post for Jo to stretch up to and knock down. She loves it when I do this. But her new skill must be, in her mind, the next, natural step. 

Can't be comfortable but she does it again and again. Such a cute little weirdo.

Graduation 2025

10 May 2025: Another graduation in the books! Managed to get most of our graduates in this picture.

School Spirits

9 May 2025: Besides a bit of work on my SSAWW paper and some little things on campus, I've been kind of lazy when it comes to work these past two days. And that's okay. One sign of that laziness? I just kind of randomly decided to start a new series on Paramount+, School Spirits. Since yesterday, I've watched the first six episodes and it is fun and smart, with some Veronica Mars and Buffy vibes. 

"Let me just exist with you..."

8 May 2025: This morning, I finished reading (well, listening to) Pageboy, Elliot Page's memoir. It's really a terrific book--smart, searing, sad, and, ultimately, uplifting. It's also structurally fascinating--non-linear, with some chapters that are just vingettes and others that stretch into deep dives. Ultimately, I just found myself rooting for him again and again, wanting him to find peace, love, and comfort, a set of wishes for him that extend so effortlessly (because of his artistry) to everyone else who struggles with their identity. 

Just a couple of powerful passages:

About the life-sustaining and indeed life-saving importance of representation and visibility: "My heart aches for my younger self. A tiny bug running to the rim of an upside-down juice glass. What a difference it would have been to sit with queer and trans pals and have them say, 'I feel that way, too. I felt that way, too. We don't have to feel that way. You don't have to feel that way.' Not a magic eraser of shame, but it would have undoubtedly quickened things up.”

And, towards the end: “Let me just exist with you, happier than ever.” Such a simple plea--"Let me just exist with you"--but one that is somehow controversial today.  

"And Zero at the Bone"

7 May 2025: Every time I come across these neighbors--every time, no matter the size--Dickinson's last line comes to mind.

"there should be a cat in every book..."

6 May 2025: Started working in earnest on my SSAWW 2025 paper today, which included revisiting this charming interview with Anne Ursu, whose YA novel, Not Quite a Ghost,  I am writing about. Hard to disagree with her on why she added a cat to the book: "I did have to have her discover a cat because, I mean, first of all, there should be a cat in every book, but also, she needed something to interact with." 

A bit of good news!

5 May 2025: Very pleased and grateful to have gotten an award today--and to see some of my favorite colleagues get some recognition, too.

Nickel Boys

4 May 2025: I finally watched Nickel Boys today and really liked it. I read the book when it came out and realized that more of it stuck than I thought. This might seem like a bit of a strange comparison, but the adaptation reminds me of Fun Home's journey from graphic memoir to musical. The adaptation is faithful, but also so distinctly itself. Nickel Boys (the movie) is so beautiful and plays with perspective in fascinating ways. 

"The Piano Tuner's Wives"

3 May 2025: Listened to this story today while doing chores and taking my walk. Like every William Trevor that I've come across, I found it so beautiful and moving. 

Betty' retirement...

2 May 2025: 

[Catch-up post]

Yesterday, we celebrated our beloved department chair's well-earned retirement. Sally and her husband hosted a really lovely gathering. It was one of the nicest night I can remember in a long while and a perfect celebration of someone who has meant so much to all of us. 

Spring 2025 Grading: DONE!

1 May 2025: Just hit "submit" on my last set of grades of the semester. These English 204 exams were kind of fun, especially when the students let themselves respond to prompts as genuine people. Talk about what surprised you, what you liked, which texts stuck with you. That stuff is so great. 

Anyway, here's to another semester in the books (almost) and to (we pray) a relaxing and restorative summer.

But first, some chair dancing, to this 80s classic that popped up on Pandora: Madonna's "Who's That Girl?"

Sinners

30 April 2025: Holy cow, is Sinners a fun movie! Believe the hype. Scary, beautiful, sexy, and so smart. 

Newslettering...

29 April 2025: Since I am temporarily out of things to grade, today has very much been an "odds and ends" kind of day, taking care of some of the less pressing tasks on my list(s). Today most of that involved getting pieces together for the English and Modern Languages newsletter, particularly the pieces I put myself in charge of (in contrast to those assigned to my practicum students). It is never the most thrilling work, but I pushed through all of it and that feels great. 

Plus it's just always cool to brag about the stuff we got done this semester. 

Three down, one to go...

28 April 2025: Really pushed myself to get a lot of grading done over the weekend and today. That means that, as of right now, I am all caught up with grading and final grades submitted for three of four classes. (The practicum grades are already in, too.) The final set of assignments--the ENGL 204 finals--come in on Wednesday afternoon. So, if the stars align, I should be done with everything by Thursday. So close! 

Theodore...

27 April 2025: Baby Theodore arrived last night. And wow: does our world need this little boy, born to two of the finest people I know. Even before he got here, he has given me (and everyone who loves his parents) such hope and joy. 

Front yard refresher...

26 April 2025: This afternoon, Billy, a landscaper I met through a student's kids' homegrown little newspaper (one of my favorite things I've read this semester!) finished up a project he started a couple of weeks ago. First, he dug out the very overgrown bushes that were basically hiding the front of the house. Then he put down some mulch. That alone was a huge glow-up for the yard. People were literally saying "wow" as they walked by. We waited a couple of weeks to minimize free risks and today, Billy put the new shrubs in. Gotta keep everything well-watered and hope the rocky ground doesn't make too much trouble, but I am so happy about how it looks.

Last day of classes...

25 April 2025: The last day of classes is always kind of surreal, but it went well today. In the spring semester, that last day also means the McMurran Convocation. This year's was especially lovely, with a beloved colleague, Karen, delivering the "Last Lecture." It was one of the best speeches I've ever heard. Add to that getting to hear about the 45 or so terrific students being honored, and it was a really nice afternoon.  

Dinner with Tim...

24 April 2025: Tim and I had dinner after the second set of English capstones this evening. He's got so much on his plate right now and I wish I could make things better or at least easier. I hope just spending time with him and talking did a little something. 

Continually counting my blessing as we move through such dark times, it's always lovely to spend time with someone who ranks so high on that list. 

Early morning flood...

23 April 2025: For about ten minutes this morning, I thought I was in the middle of a homeowner's nightmare. A line going into the guest room toilet burst when I was taking a shower in the master bathroom. By the time I realized it (couldn't have been long at all), water was shooting all over, pouring down into the first floor bathroom, and into the crawl space below. I thought I was going to lose my mind.

I climbed into that crawl space in nothing but a robe and turned off the water. (The toilet valve wouldn't work.) Eventually the water stopped. I used every towel in my house to mop it up. 

And like a pair of superheroes sent from above, Ron and Russ, my long-time plumbing go-to guys, came by and got everything fixed by 9:15 or so. I only had to cancel one class (that 9:10 class).

I keep thinking about how much worse it could have been. If the burst happened 20 minutes later, I would have been gone, off on campus from 7:00 a.m. until 6:00 p.m. And that water would have been going the whole time. I can't even imagine. In fact, when I do, it makes my anxiety surge.

At the risk of repeating a frequent theme these days, gratitude cuts through so much that is hard. 

I've also been thinking all day about Ron, who shared with me his grief over losing his wife in October. It's always hard to know what to say, but it was a privilege to just listen to him to about her and about his grief, to see the pictures that he shared of her, and to be a witness to such a deep love. 

SSAWW 2025!

22 April 2025: (Once again trying to start the day with a positive post!) I realized this morning that I hadn't stopped to really feel good about an email I got yesterday: my abstract for SSAWW 2025 was accepted. I am delighted to get to work on a weird little paper about a YA book inspired by "The Yellow Wallpaper." It should be a fun summer project. And SSAWW is in Philadelphia, one of my favorite conference cities (with a nearby Vogel bonus). 

Sidewalk beauty...

21 April 2025: I knew today would have some hard moments, so I made myself pause at a sight that strikes me with its bittersweet beauty every spring on my walks: these little sidewalk crack that fill with redbud petals. 

Easter 2025

20 April 2025: Spent the day with the McNetts. Fun and nourishing in all the best ways. Blessed beyond measure. 

Saturday buddy...

19 April 2025: I felt crummy enough (emotionally/mentally) yesterday, that I was a bit anxious about how I would feel today--and how I would fill the day. (Weirdly all caught up on grading and work!) 

Pushed through and embraced the quiet, the productivity, the lovely weather, and the chill vibes. Even got some burgers and grilled for the first time this season. Told myself this was an early soft-summer-launch.

And my goodness, did it help that a certain little girl kept checking in and staying close. (BabyCat, too, but from a further distance.)

3:00 bells...

18 April 2025: It's been a strange, long, and at times very hard week (filled, too, with moments of joy and satisfaction). 

Sitting here working with a student this afternoon, I noticed a church bell that kept ringing and ringing. Then I realized it was 3:00, the time of Jesus's death in the Bible. The bells mark that profoundly sacred moment.

The realization--the holy interruption--threw me off for a moment, but in a blessed way. The pain of Good Friday points to the light and healing of Easter. But we must stop, acknowledge, and some how gesture at imagining that pain and loss. The bells made me do that and continue to do so right now, hours after they stopped. 

Sorry 'bout that!

17 April 2025: "While reading these articles, I have been exposed to topics like sadism, mental instability, folklore, and more..." --a student writing about her annotated bibliography, a deep dive into Brontë scholarship. Made me laugh out loud. 

(She also had two sources about infanticide.)

When it works...

16 April 2025: Long but good day, starting with an ENGL 102 conference when a frustrated and overwhelmed student came in. Just didn't know where to go next with her essay or why it wasn't working. (These are real "I got this!" moments for me, so I was ready.)

So, we got to work. By the end? 

"You unstuck me!" she said. 

Felt great. 

(And happened a few more times today!)

Sweet treats...

15 April 2025: A "sweet" day here in lots of ways. Spent a lot of it getting stuff done and working from home (always sweet!): grading (work, yes, but sweetly moving at times), mowing the lawn (sweet satisfaction), writing a sympathy card/letter (so bittersweet), and, as always, so many emails (some of them sweet?). Being home with Veronica and Jo made it all sweeter.

Since I got home from trivia, I've been thinking about the sweet treats some of my regular players sent me home with. Shirley, one of my absolute favorites, gave me two homemade Easter cookies. She also (for the second time!) gave me a clipping from a recent newspaper piece about an event I did. That's just such lovely energy. A member of another team--who wasn't even there tonight!--sent little Easter treats for her teammates, along with a special bag for me. 

What to say about all that sweetness, literal and figurative? Nothing but that I am very blessed and that this silly once-a-week hosting gig makes me happy. 

Did the thing...

14 April 2025: Did the thing today and I think it went well. People have been very kind and supportive. I think I'll sleep well tonight (?) and I am glad it's done. Now to the next steps--but first, some TV and then early to bed. 

Gratitude Fuel

13 April 2025: I've got a big thing coming up tomorrow afternoon. Something that I am worried about doing but know I have to do. And so much else is hard and bleak in our world. 

Thus I am so profoundly grateful for all the moments this weekend offered me that made me happy or realize how lucky I am this. Yesterday: Relay for Life, lunch and a movie with Amy. Today: seeing one of my favorite students (yes, there are many who fit that label) play in her one of her last home softball games and then seeing the Rude Mechanicals put on their productions of student-written plays. (This was also Betty's last show before retirement. Genuinely moved beyond measure by that.) Then sharing a draft for what I have to say tomorrow and getting reassuring feedback from some of my most cherished colleagues. My cup runneth over. 

So this gratitude is nourishing and well-timed. And it's fuel for tomrrow.

Relay for Life 2025

12 April 2025: Like previous years, I volunteered to help sell luminarias at Relay for Life. I found the experience--especially the opening lap--particularly moving this year. 

Also always wonderful to spent time with Stacey and Amy. 

Friday dinner...

11 April 2025: It's been a long week with lots of sadness and worry (along with lots of very bright spots). Today was especially wearying, so it was actually good timing to have dinner with my parents, who are in town for a few days. I tend to be kind of taciturn and reticent with them, but I just sort told myself to make it a nice evening and we talked for a lot longer than usual, about things we don't usually talk about. Nothing dire or too serious, but it was nice and I'm glad. 

Another conference story...

10 April 2025: While the actual highlight of my day was talking to Vogel on her birthday, in keeping with the trend of "stuff my students say," I am going with this dialogue from a conference with an ENGL 102 student.

[Student explains that her draft is the first "complete" version. She pushed on through and got it out.] 

Me: That's great--it's good to get there and you still have lots of time. How does that feel?

[long pause]

Student: Dead. 

Linguistically, grammatically...it doesn't work as an answer. But baby, it sure worked to express what she was feeling. She's a high school senior who is doing too much. She is tired. But she has her sense of humor and we laughed about it.

And the paper will be fine. 

The way we laughed...

9 April 2025: This afternoon I met with one of my favorite students, who I'll just call J., to talk about his capstone paper. It's a big, complicated, and smart project about Catcher in the Rye and Go Tell It on the Mountain, specifically about how their protagonists are able to move through the world (or not). 

I haven't read the Baldwin novel, so I was relying on him explaining it to me. Discussing how both protagnoists perform masculinity or are challenged about how well they are doing it, I tried to echo back what I thought he was saying. I said something like, "And that's harder for John because...well, Holden's biggest problem there is that he's kind of a...nerd? But John--he's gay..."

J. responded, "Exactly! I mean, I'd rather be a nerd than gay..."

There's a bit of a pause and I realize we are both thinking it. J. finishes his thought, "But I'm both!" 

The way we laughed! "I wasn't gonna say it," I tell him.

I just adore this kid. He's bright, funny, kind, and so unapologetically himself. 

"like wearing shoes that don't fit..."

8 April 2025: One cool experience this semester has been working with English 102 students who are athletes and seeing them write about their sport in language that reveals their deep knowledge of it. I love seeing them slide into a discourse they know so well. 

Today I was working with a soccer play on her essay on the use of VAR. She is opposed to it, for reasons that are not exactly logical, but still quite compelling, philosophical, and just interesting. At one point, she used a "fancy" word ("elucidate") and it kind of delighted me, so I commented on it. I think she thought I was teasing her or calling her out on it. "Sometimes when I use a word like that," she said, "I feel weird about it...like I'm wearing shoes that don't fit." I insisted that I understood, but she used it right and shouldn't feel weird.

The cool analogy she used--"like wearing shoes that don't fit"--has been on my mind on and off all day. I eventually realized that for a soccer player, that similie carries some extra weight.  

"tragically becalmed"

7 April 2025: I’ve written lots before about how ENGL 204 is my favorite class to teach. There are lots of reasons, but a major one is that you get students from all different majors and backgrounds. This semester, I’ve got another great batch, including a Biology major who immediately got on my radar for his incredibly insightful comments. Science students who also excel at the humanities give me such hope. I wasn’t surprised to see this kid’s name on the list of this year’s McMurran Scholars.

Anyway, today in class, day one of discussing A Streetcar Named Desire, I was talking through some biographical info about Tennessee Williams, including how his sister’s experience—including a lobotomy—might have impacted the way he writes his most memorable female characters. This particular student brought to my attention a phrase I had previously overlooked in reading and re-reading the anthology’s introduction to the play: “tragically becalmed.” (Frustratingly, the introduction puts it in quotation marks, but doesn’t attribute it.) “That really got to me,” the student said, “that phrase ‘tragically becalmed.’” 

You see what I mean, don’t you? What a phrase--achingly powerful. And this student--he saw it. This is a special young man. A sensitive and careful and smart reader who made me think about this text in new ways. It’s just a privilege to get to work with people like him.

The Friend

6 April 2025: I wasn't sure what to expect from The Friend, but I really enjoyed it--even as it made me sob. I told Amy after that maybe one of my favorite genres is "smart classy people in New York showing how lovely it would be to live there." Add some deep meditations on complicated relationships, writing, and pets? I am seated. 

Redbud 2025

4 April 2025:

[Catch-up post]

The best tree in my yard hit its stride on Saturday. Just breath-taking.

Morning watch...

4 April 2025: Especially when she was little, Jo had this habit of leaping on my shoulder in the morning when I opened the curtains. She would then stretch forward and survey the neighborhood. 

I thought she had outgrown it, but this morning she startled me all over again. (My hair is wet--hadn't dried it yet.) 

Once she gave me the "all clear," I was free to finish getting ready and start the rest of my day. 

Room with a view...

3 April 2025: Can't argue with the view out of the home office window this time of year.

Stadium Tree

2 April 2025: I started my walk this morning in maybe not the best mood, though it's hard to say why. I couldn't help but notice, though, how the morning sun was coloring the sky (especially just beyond the Potomac, though I didn't get a picture of that). As I came to the top of the hill near Ram Stadium, I stopped to admire this tree, doing its thing this year like it does every year, with that pretty light in the backgroud. It didn't fix everything, but it sure didn't hurt. 

Running Out of Air

1 April 2025: Got to hear a former student read from her debut novel on campus this evening. Another chance to just marvel at how lucky I am to get to do what I do. 

Must be "A Rose for Emily" Day...

31 March 2025: Excerpts from class discussion today in ENGL 204 that made me laugh...

"I mean, this may be a controversial opinion because...she murdered that guy, but I feel bad for her..."

A student disagrees--she doesn't feel bad for Emily--but adds, "I don't know if I feel bad about the murder part..."

Either way? Very little sympathy for poor old Homer Barron. 

Open window days...

30 March 2025: Finding all the weird poses on this open window day...

First visitor...

29 March 2025: After I got my parents a BirdBuddy feeder a couple of years ago, I asked them for one for myself (when I couldn't think of any other gifts to ask for!). Since today really felt like the end of winter (it's 77 degrees at nearly 7:00 p.m. when I type this), I finally set it up outside.

Behold the first visitor!

Just ahead...

28 March 2025: For a bunch of reasons (construction on Mill Street, the need for some variety), I don't think I had done my old, usual morning walk--with a stop at Rumsey Park--all semester long. This mornimg, I realized that the forsythia down that way might be doing their thing. I got excited at just the idea of seeing them. And just when I turned the bend, I could see that pop of yellow up ahead and my heart soared. 

1-0!

27 March 2025: Lucky enough to get to be home this afternoon and watch the Yanks win the season opener. Let's go, Yankees! Let's go, spring!

It's here!

26 March 2025: What a delight!

Getting closer...

25 March 2025: Stopped on my way into my office today to take a good look at this lovely lilac bush out behind Knutti. It won't bloom until late April, at the earliest, I think, but still...you can see they are on their way and that made me smile. Hopeful.

The universe also sent me a "yeah, but not too hopeful" message while I was looking the bush. A kind of big twig came falling down from above, hitting my head and making me jump. I laughed and said, "okay, okay..."

We have a tracking notice!

24 March 2025: My copies of my book? They are heading my way. Scheduled delivery is Wednesday. My goodness--what a cool feeling!

Back After This

23 March 2025: Our little book club read Linda Holmes's Back After This for this month and all three of us loved it. I could go on and on about all the ways it made me feel seen (sometimes almost uncomfortably!), but maybe just one (fun) quotation for now--from a part that made my toes curl: “His ear had worked like mine” (186). Cecily realizing that Will listened to that recording--more than once--and closely? And he hears what she hears? Baby, that's a keeper!

I have loved so much of what she written. She's just the best.

Work Cited

Holmes, Linda. Back After This: A Novel, Penguin Random House, 2025.

Breakfast with some of my favs...

22 March 2025: After a really great breakfast at a Turkish restaurant, I left this small contigent of our students (who were headed to the Warhol Museum) and headed home. (The other three headed home with Tim and Kevin a few hours earlier.) It's great to be home, but it was a really lovely few days. Affirming in all the best ways.

Convention, Day 2

21 March 2025: One of those days that flew by but also feels very long. But what a fun one! College students are the best (esp. English majors, duh) and Tim is the best. 

Convention Time!

20 March 2025: Writing this from my hotel room in Pittsburgh after a great first day at the Sigma Tau Delta Convention. Our students are so terrific and spending time with them is such a joy.

"Spring in the mischief in me"

19 March 2025: Crazy-busy day, but not a bad one. Been working non-stop with probably about an hour's more work to go before I let myself call it. At the same time, Frost's line from "Mending Wall" (in this post's title) has been in my head on and off all day. Part of the reason is that I taught the poem in ENGL 204 today. 

Beyond that, though, the idea of mischief (fueled by the transition to my favorite season) has been kind of fueling my attitude (in good ways). 

Anyway, this isn't the most thought-out or eloquent post, I know. (See above--so much more to do, "miles to go before I sleep," to borrow even more from Frost.) But it's enough to "count" for my daily post and get my butt back to work! 

"My Cool Friend, Michelle"

18 March 2025: I really dug this sweet and moving tribute to Michelle Trachtenberg, written by her childhood friend, Mara Wilson. Wilson does such a good job describing what it's like when the cool girl--especially when she's a couple of years older than you--also turns out to be the kind, smart, and friendly girl. 

The "cool girls" who I played basketball and softball with when I was just a nerdy, unathletic, and fat eighth grader were like that. Their friendship did nothing to make me a better ball player (ha!), but in every other way, it changed my life and made me a better person. I am forever grateful. 

It's really lovely to know that Michelle was that way, too. 

Black Bag

17 March 2025: Even though my day was long and busy and even though I slept really badly last night, I was happy to join Amy for a movie tonight (our first movie in weeks!). Black Bag is so much fun--smart, funny, sexy, and tight (93 minutes). Great way to spend the evening!

Flyer time...

16 March 2025: Spent some time today finishing up flyers for some of my fall courses. (No need to "advertise" ENGL 101.) It's a familiar and strange Spring Break tradition.

Decided to go old school for ENGL 345--that is, I just messed around in Word. I wanted to include the images of the books, so that seemed easiest. 

Decided to once again stick with the "America, heck yeah" theme for ENGL 204 because it's eye-catching enough and I just kind of refuse to cede iconic imagery of my country to the right wing. 

Anyway, glad to have them both done. I'll make copies tomorrow and post them around Knutti and then get my mind back to this semester.