Googled beforehand to make sure the cat made it...

30 June 2024: "I just saw a movie and thought about you the whole time!" --me to Jo, after getting home from seeing A Quiet Place: Day One. 

Street Fest 2024

29 June 2024: What a great day today was! This morning, I had a volunteer shift at Street Fest. Then I can home to meet Erin and the girls, who finally met Jo. That went swimmingly, of course. And we went to Street Fest. Hot as heck, but fun. 

Youth consult...

28 June 2024: Decided to get Isla some earrings for her birthday and ultimately decided on some pairs at Kohl's. I was half-heartedly looking around, hoping to ask a young person if they thought an almost-eight-year-old (going on eighteen) would like them. 

At one point, I overheard an older customer being really difficult with an associate (maybe mid-twenties?), making snarky comments about how expensive things are, how the store had really gone downhill, etc. The associate was so professional and calm, it really impressed me. After the old woman walked away, I walked by associate and said, "Good job" and rolled my eyes. We whispered a bit about how she tried her best, she was great, etc.

Eventually, I went to the front to pay. And that same associate checked me out. I put the earrings down and said, "niece's birthday!" She said, "oh, these are cute!" and then rang up the next pair--and she was wearing the same ones. She complimented all of my choices and then I said what I wrote above: that I was hoping for a young person's take on them. She (and another associate, probably the same age) laughed as a left about being called "young people," since obviously they didn't feel young. It's all relative, after all. 

Anyway, we'll see what the kid herself thinks about them tomorrow when she and the rest of her gang come to visit. 

An email that changed my life...

27 June 2024: Was doing some cleaning/filing today and found a print-out of an email that changed my life. Wonderful to have a reminder of that day and everything that followed it. Also always nice to remember Charles, who was so kind and nurturing to me as a department chair.

An aging milestone...

26 June 2024: Writing this on the first day of trying out my brand-new glasses with my first-ever progressive glasses. I know it will take some time to adjust, but better to learn this sooner rather than later. Also seems appropriate that we saw Thelma this evening, a nice little movie about a much older woman (93!) dealing with the challenges of aging. 

Just hit "send"!

25 June 2024: As the last chorus of "I've Had the Time of My Life" played (not making that part up, but how perfect is that?), I hit "send" on my book manuscript. Wild, wild feeling. A last minute conversation with Vogel was enough to make me take a break, stop obsessing, and just hit the button. That also feels kind of perfect. (And three months early!)

And now for some more chair-dancing, to this fun track that just came on, also perfect given my almost spiritual connection to Footloose. 

Revolutionary Suicide

24 June 2024: "In our innocence we planned to be doctors, lawyers, pilots, boxers, and builders. How could we know then that we were not going anywhere? Nothing in our experience had shown us yet that the American dream was not for us. We, too, had great expectations. And then we went to school" (16). 

This passage, which ends the first chapter of Huey P. Newton's Revolutionary Suicide, is just one example of his powerful and often arresting prose. Newton's biography is our book club selection this month. It's unlike a lot of what I read, but it sure is engaging. 

Work Cited

Newton, Huey P. Revolutionary Suicide. 1973. Penguin, 2009. 

2000 vibes...

23 June 2024: Twenty-four years after everyone else, I just started watching C.S.I. The Again with This podcast discussed an episode in which Mary Margaret Humes guest-starred, so I watched that one. And then I thought, "A pretty decent, well-respected procedural with 15 seasons? Maybe just what I need?" About six episodes in and it's working: soothing, fun, distracting stuff. 

Out early, then inside all day...

22 June 2024: The song playing on Pandora right now is pretty on point: 

A heat wave has settled into its most intense (I hope?) day so far. This screenshot from just a few minutes ago says it all. 

I planned ahead--got my walk and my trip to the supermarket done early. Since then, I've been inside with the girls. Lots of chores done, some work on the book (soooooo close!), and some work on fall syllabi (!). Ready to call it quitting time and do some vegging. The girls, of course, have this vegging thing down pat. 

"The neurologist gives us permission"

21 June 2024: Haven't done a poetry post in a bit, but this one, by Seema Reza arrived in my inbox this morning and just made me sigh. I am always moved by how joy and sadness ride side-by-side or amplify each other through contrast. And my goodness--what a title! 

Here's what she says about it in the blurb with the email: "This poem is about how living on the brink of bad news heightens the experience of joy. It’s a poem about aging and falling in love and knowing it will all end. It does all end."

Grateful...

20 June 2024: Feeling very grateful today for access to decent health care with two walk-in appointments in less than two weeks. It's nothing major at all--just persistent and annoying. But being able to walk in, not wait all that long, and get friendly and helpful care means so much. I am especially grateful because I know so many people cannot access anything even close to that kind of care. 

So close...

19 June 2024: There's a decent chance that I will feel ready to send the manuscript in by the end of next week, if not sooner. In fact, if I put in a couple (like, literally--maybe two) days of solid work, it would be ready (enough). 

At the same time, I am telling myself to slow down these next few days, giving myself time to reflect, think, and do some more revision to a couple sections. I am way ahead of schedule, never dreaming I'd have it ready by the end of June, so there's no need to rush. 

It's a strange bundle of feelings: excitement, satisfication, a touch of pride, and anxiety. 

Summer Advising 2024

18 June 2024: Well, Summer Advising was very different than ever before. Just one day for me this year (it was divided by colleges) and budget cuts meant all I could do was get a small stipend to help my chair. Of course, I said yes, but man, it's just not the same.

Still...there's something wonderful and energizing about helping a student make that very first schedule and seeing all of my colleagues work so well as a team. 

Still Life for Summer 2024

17 June 2024: Somewhat hilariously (and I say this with lots of relief), the "Chronology" section of my book--the part I worried about the most at times--has been tremendously easy to do. Knocked out an entire draft today. I am busy with Summer Advising most of tomorrow, which is probably a good thing--some space to not think about it while also sort of thinking about it (and hoping some "I need to include/fix that" ideas come through). 

Snapped this picture of the whole (double-sided) manuscript (a verson from May 2024) near a sleeping Jo earlier in the day. I kept this big old paper copy--all kinds of marked up--since I knew it would be useful for the chronology. But it is pretty cool to have a picture of the stack of pages as a record. (It's a bit longer now!) It also cracks me up how the perspective makes her look so tiny. 

Father's Day 2024

16 June 2024: A really lovely Sunday here. This morning, I picked Betty up and we drove to Rockville to meet Tim. Then we metroed in to DC to have lunch and see a production of Metamorphoses at the Folger (where I hadn't been before). 

Then home by 6:00 or so to call my dad, who seemed to be having a very nice Father's Day. That on its own would have been enough to make my day great. He's just such a good dude, perfectly happy to spend his day doing some weeding, hearing from his kids, and grilling some burgers for dinner.  

Inside Out 2

15 June 2024: Caught a mid-morning showing of Inside Out 2 and, not surprisingly, cried more than once. (I also laughed a lot.) It a powerful and important decision to take children and their emotions seriously. And as a formerly anxious child (and now often anxious adult), I was quite moved by the depiction of Anxiety. 

Otherwise a kind of somber afternoon, for reasons I'll leave unsaid. But the combination of the movie's gentle warmth and the day's lovely light breeze helped and are still helping.  

Two strikes, you're out?

14 June 2024: Plans to catch a minor league baseball game tonight with friends hit a couple of obstacles. First, the local team, the Hagerstown Flying Boxcars, were basically sold out. Some of us tried for the Frederick Keys, but first the game was delayed (even though it wasn't yet raining) for a good hour. Then they played 1.5 innings before another rain delay started. So, we gave up. At the same time, those hours just sitting in the stands, hanging out, laughing? Worth every penny. 

Almost done with the introduction...

13 June 2024: "(I once asked a young dissertation writer whether her suddenly grayed hair was due to ill-health or personal tragedy; she answered It was the footnotes)" (Russ 137). 

I am low-keyed obsessed with this paranthetical from Russ's classic How to Suppress Women's Writing. First, it's just so funny and rings with such authenticity. Second, it's a bit of a time-capsule: 1) footnotes in the 1980s must have been a nightmare and 2) you kind of can't imagine someone asking a woman this question in this way today. Third, my own current version of this drama might be, "It was the introduction."

But today--the very day I re(read) those words--I think I've made it through a decent draft of the darn thing. Going to print it out and give it a read-through before calling it quits on this part of the project for the day, but this feels pretty okay (???). 

Unrelated photo of someone who is not at all getting gray hair through any kind of worrying today.

Work Cited

Russ, Joanna. How to Suppress Women’s Writing. U of Texas P, 1983.

Never gets old...

12 June 2024: So delighted to receive this in the mail today. (I think it actually arrived last week, but I kept forgetting to carry the package down to my office from the mail room and open it...)

Jo on the mend...

11 June 2024: Jo was not feeling well this morning; she threw up some, seemed uncomfortable, and just crashed most of the morning on the living room chair. Because I am me, I was concerned and watched the heck out of her. 

She was still pretty tired by the afternoon, as Picture #1 shows. She came up to the office and slept on my lap while I read. When she woke up, though, like happens for us sometimes, it appears that lots of sleep is just what she needed. 

Picture #2, from around 5:00, shows a cat almost completely back to her version of "normal." I will still keep an eye on her (because I am me), but I think she's good. 

Scared the heck out of the cat...

10 June 2024: Heard some news today that made me literally scream with happiness. Can't say much, but just so darn delighted and happy. 

"The Phantom of the World's Fair"

9 June 2024: I listened to this episode of StoryCorps on my walk today and found it just riveting. The story unfolds in such complex layers--whimsy and adventure, then deep sadness, and finally, hope and strength. Amazing. 

Veronica at 9

8 June 2024: I actually took this video of BabyCat last night, before her unofficial birthday today. From the very beginning, she's been such an interesting cat to just watch--which is a good thing, considering her "look but don't touch" policy. And I think she actually often loves being watched--and spends just as much time watching me. 

Anyway, if you listen closely you can hear Brandi Carlile's "Beginning to Feel the Years" playing in the background. The lyrics seem to work for me and this nut I have been trying to crack for nine years.

"You carry me along with you

Keep my spirit strong, you do

Maybe I was meant to be

Under your lock and key

The hard times that I had

Really, don't seem all that bad

Yesterday is long ago and far away

And I'm beginning to feel the years

But I'm going to be okay

As long as you're beside me along the way

Gonna make it through the night

And into the morning light..."

Quiet Friday evening...

7 June 2024: After a rather nice day--a bit of work at the office, a long lunch with a dear friend, and the first provost search committee meeting--I am enjoying a really lovely summer evening. The front window and back door are open and there's just the perfect little breeze. The girls are either snoozing or looking outside. I am tinkering away at some not-terrible work. The Yankees are playing the Dodgers and I am getting to watch it on TV. Lovely, lovely, lovely. 

Hype music...

6 June 2024: Completed the final part of being Senate President today: giving a report at the BOG meeting. I put a lot of work and thought into my remarks and as I walked over to the meeting, I was like, "lemme ask my iPod for some hype music." This song came on and a) it made me laugh and b) it worked, baby!

 

Hiding close by...

5 June 2024: Some storms rolled through this afternoon and Jo took refuge under my desk while I was working. (That's her tucked up in the left corner.)  

I mean, I am already completely in the tank for this ball of sweet orange chaos, but her determination to stay close even when she hides is charming as heck. 

More progress...

4 June 2024: Finished up the preface and am trudging ahead on the introduction. I've decided on the "grabber" for that piece (a word I've been using instead of "hook" since I learned it Dr. Miller's intro to the history major class long ago). And I just need to keep practicing and polishing the BOG thing. 

Definitely interesting to be working on and reflecting on projects that are moving towards different versions of ending. 

(Maybe this is also somehow connected to my sleep being a bit restless over the past week or so?) 

Writing progress...

3 June 2024: Made progress today on three writing projects that have been idling in my mind for weeks: my remarks to the BOG on Thursday, the preface to the book, and the intro to the book. Each is now in a different stage, which is also kind of cool. Feeling some good momentum now! 

Meeting the new neighbors...

2 June 2024: John and Helen, my wonderful neighbors who are moving soon, invited a bunch of us over to meet Paul and Diane, the couple who has purchased their house. That gesture tells you all you need to know about John and Helen. I am surrounded by a great group of neighbors here; Paul and Diane will no doubt fit right in. 

Writing joy...

1 June 2024: My goodness, did we have a great in-personportion of our Shepherd University Writing Project Summer Institute today! I know this sounds so cheesy, but it it just the truth: these K12 teachers are so damn inspiring.