Best of 2023...

31 December 2023: Last night, I was sitting here thinking, "hmm, wonder where Jo is..." Right as I finished the thought, she jumped up out of nowhere (making that little meow she makes when she's excited) and I just burst out laughing. 

She is an absolute chaos agent. Still does parkour as she moves through spaces. Still chomps on whatever she wants to. Still steals all kinds of stuff. Still moves (small) furniture around through sheer will. She is also pure joy and life. Every night when I take my bath, she comes in and drops either a ball of paper (her favorite toy, still) or a toy mouse on the floor and then settles in on a towel on the ground. I am one of her favorite things (along with balled up paper) and that fills me with such delight.  

Jo has been the best gift to me (and Veronica, though she wouldn't admit it) in 2023. It was a hard, long year, but this little one is the undisputed and consistent bright spot. It will be a melancholy New Year's Eve, I think, but she and Veronica will make it sweeter.

"True Blue"

30 December 2023: Been waking up the past few mornings feeling stressed and uneasy about the work I need to get done, including this 102 syllabus. Today, before I got out of bed, I told myself, "You are going to power through that syllabus today and then it will be done." (Thinking back to this post already!) So, I got up and got to work on the stuff on my list. 

Then I hit Sheetz and heard "True Blue" playing. My goodness, do I love this song. Always have. Picture me walking through the store, singing quietly to myself, maybe even doing the tiniest bit of barely-detectable dancing. Instant mood-lifter/motivator. 

Here we go, Saturday Syllabizing (and chore doin')! Need a big old burst of productivity so I can take a break at 1:00 for the women's b-ball game. 

Gifts with Jane

29 December 2023: One of the highlights of every holiday season is getting together with Jane to exchange gifts and just hang out for awhile. We talk about big ideas and all the serious stuff, but laugh our heads off, too. Never fails to hit the spot.

Vibe Check

28 December 2023: "Thank you, Past Self, for taking care of Future Me." Love this bit of insight from Zach Stafford on this week's Vibe Check (ep. 75), especially on a morning when I powered through a task I did not want to do. But man, am I glad and proud that it's done. 

Vibe Check has been such a welcome addition to my podcast rotation. Saeed, Zach, and Sam always make me think, feel, and smile. I love their voices, their friendship, and their generosity towards themselves, each other, and the world. Their energy is the energy I want to carry into 2024. 

102 syllabizing...

27 December 2023: Spent some time today working on a new version of my ENGL 102 syllabus. For a bunch of reasons (including having course release time), I haven't taught ENGL 102 in eight years. A more or less complete rewrite is in order and this requires, as I knew it would, quite a bit of work and planning. Still, I am excited to get back to teaching this course (two sections, in fact). There is so much that is energizing about teaching first-year writing--the student population, the way you know it really matters.

So, all of the work and the stress/anziety that I am feeling about this syllabus is worth it. 

"Returns"

26 December 2023: Listened to Annie Ernaux's "Returns" on my walk today and could believe how...appropriate it felt. My goodness. 

The 10K streak also hit four years today, which is pretty darn...something?

Home again...

25 December 2023: 

[Catch-up post...]

For complicated reasons, I came home earlier than planned. The moment I walked in the door, I was reminded of the biggest gift of 2023: little Jo. She just brings so much love and laughter to my life. She settled right next to me when I fell asleep and was there with me when I woke up this morning. 

Christmas Eve 2023

24 December 2023: 

[Catch-up post...]

A couple of pictures from the nicest parts of the day...

"The Bleakening"

23 December 2023:

[Catch-up post]

Made to NY in pretty good time on Saturday. That evening, I was thrilled to introduce Krista and Isla to Bob's Burgers, specifically to "The Bleakening." 

Packing obstacle...

22 December 2023: I had just finished cleaning all of a certain orange cat's hair off of this suitcase. Turned around...

Three in December/Twelve in the Fall

21 December 2023: Finished my twelfth entry this fall (basically, September-December). Finished it nine days early, in fact. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to pull off three entries a month, but it feels good to have done it. 

This leaves twelve more entries total, though maybe another one or two will pop up at some point. (The one I just finished, on Wynema, only got on my list a month ago.) And next semester will be more demanding in some ways, with two sections of ENGL 102. I am still going to aim for three a month, getting me "done" by May 1. All the more reason to get started on the next one right away...

But right now I am feeling pretty good about where I am. 

Furry gangsters...

20 December 2023: Came across this band of furry gangsters on my walk today. There are actually many more members of this group and I always wave to them (each one) when I pass them. There's actually another all black one just to the right and if you look way into the distance, you can see another orange one stretched under a tree. Anyway, imagine my delight when--for the first time ever--two of them let me get some pets in.  

Pre-Christmas Buddy Lunch

19 December 2023: It was an absolute delight to have lunch with Hannah today. We exchanged Christmas gifts and then went to Kome and just talked and talked. There are some tough days ahead, but I know that for me, this friendship helps sustain me through them. And I am doing my best to make sure that's mutual. 

"Those Who Carry Us"

18 December 2023: Finally listened to Silas House's wonderful poem, read aloud at the Kentucky Governor's inauguration. Like all things Silas writes, it's specific and universal and celebrates humanity while making us want to be even better.

Sunday things...

17 December 2023: I know I just did this kind of post on Friday, but today had a lot of good things worth remembering:

1) On our way to Winchester (more about that in a bit), Amy and I stopped at the new Tudor's Biscuit World in Inwood. It was packed but the line moved quick enough considering and the food was delicious, of course.

2) We saw Waitress (the filmed stage version with Sara Bareilles), which was so lovely. I had seen a stage version at the National Theater with Jane and it was great, but hearing Sara sing the song--and getting a close up view of the actors--was terrific. 

3) After, we did some Christmas shopping and I crossed a few more things off my list.

4) At one store, a young woman sort of did a double-take and said, "You were my teacher, I think?" She looked familiar and when she said her name, I absolutely remembered her. I won't put in writing here the really kind thing she told me about my class, but after we talked and I walked away, I felt myself get teared up over how amazingly lucky I am to get to do what I do and get to hear things like that. She's a Spanish teacher now, which also makes me happy. 

Came home, wrapped some gifts, and am chilling for a bit with Jo and Veronica. New Christmas Bob's Burgers tonight and then probably and then probably an early bedtime. For a very dark, foggy, and rainy day, there was a lot of metaphorical sunlight shining through. 

Big sister, little sister...

16 December 2023: Kind of cheat post, since I took the pictures last night, but they have been making me smile all day today.

Anyway, last night I wanted to snap a cute picture of Veronica's habit (year after year) of sitting and looking at the tree. Got it, along with a pretty spot-on depiction of what it's like to live with a little sister. Veronica's face in that second photo kills me. 

Friday things...

15 December 2023: Gonna do a little list for this post...

1) Fall 2024 course evaluations got released today. I never really worry about these until the moment before I look at them and then I think to myself, "Is this the semester where it all turns? Where I am revealed to be an imposter?" Well, the "not-an-imposter" streak continues, at least for another semester, because they were really lovely.

2) Spent a big part of today working on the syllabus for my Dickinson seminar. That also meant spending time thinking about the last time I taught it--that strange, tough semester that was Fall 2020. That course, that material, and that group of students turned out to be one of the most important teaching, sustaining, and meaningful experiences of my life. Eager to give it another go.

3) Good reviews and the realization that man who made Paddington 2 also made it were enough to persuade me to see Wonka. And you know what? It was delightful. Very sweet and fun.

4) Just watched Susan Lucci win a lifetime acheivement award at the Daytime Emmys and man, do I miss my soaps. They really did help form me.  

The Secret Garden

14 December 2023: Hit a big old writer's block today (to twist the metaphor a bit) and was just stuck. Decided to switch my music to an album that served me well in similar situations in the past, especially in grad school days: the original cast recording of The Secret Garden. And sure enough, it still works. Powered through that block, took my walk, put it back on, and kept going. Finished a draft of my next entry just before the BOG meeting this afternoon. 

Mare of Easttown

13 December 2023: I saw Dream Scenario last week and really didn't like it (though I am glad I saw it). What I did like--loved, even--about it was Julianne Nicholson's performance. That was enough to solidify my desire to rewatch Mare of Easttown, remembering how superb she and Kate Winslet were in it. So, I've been rewatching it this week. (Currently on episode 6 of 7 as I write this.) It's as good as I remember, but like with any rewatch, different elements register either for the first time or in new ways.

Sitting here tonight, I am so wrenched by its straightforward and unblinking look at mental illness and addiction--and the slow, sometimes quiet agony of those left behind after a suicide. I feel like I can't put in writing my thoughts about a particular scene that has just hit me like a punch in the gut. It's so obvious that it's almost dumb to write it, but here it is: this ache never really goes away. 

Grateful for works of art that honor the memories of those we've lost and those who have endured, and that make us feel less alone. 

Some good things...

12 December 2023: Today's "in-between" day has been a pretty good one. Some reasons why:

• Started off the day with a mammogram. Look, that's not fun, but I am grateful for insurance, good providers, and science. And seriously: the young woman who did ran the machine, etc. was really sweet and kind.
• Treated myself to a post-mammogram biscuit from the just-opened Tudor's Biscuit World in Inwood. A bit out of the way (15 minutes from the medical center), but 100% worth it.
• Sped through (in a good way!) the reading on my to-do list for my next entry. Mostly through with the notes. Should finish them soon.
• With Amy, Carrie, and Heidi D., I watched the women's basketball team play an afternoon game.
• And the women crushed it. It's terrific to see them pull out a win.

These in-between days...

11 December 2023: First "in-between" day of the break. These are sometimes hard for me, rhythm-wise and mood-wise. Today, though, felt more normal than not; spent most of the day on campus. Had a couple of meetings and then read, read, read, took lots of notes, and gathered sources for my next entry. Before I knew it, it was nearly 6:30. 

I think it might be even harder to "relax" this break since I am starting to (barely, barely, barely) see the outline of complete book draft and want to keep this pace up. Moreover, I have a new ENGL 102 course to prep, along with revamping the Dickinson seminar. 

Just a lot on my mind, work-wise, pulling me in lots of different ways. 

On top of all of that, my sleep has been off for weeks now. I wake up at least once a night (sometimes twice) at 2:00 or 4:00. And I am wide awake. It's strange and kind of hard. 

Anyway, it seems to me that the best strategy for all of the above is keeping a steady routine as much as I can. We'll see how it goes. 

Godzilla Minus One

10 December 2023: I did not expect to enjoy Godzilla Minus One as much as I did--or to find it as moving as I did. It really impressed the heck out of me. 

Chugging along...

9 December 2023: Kind of pleased with myself for finishing my Zitkala-Ša entry today (one day ahead of schedule) and staying right on track to complete twelve entries this semester. Also making the day sweet, I managed to finish it after a lovely mid-day break to have brunch with friends and do a bit of Christmas shopping on German Street. 

Fall 2023 Grading: DONE!

8 December 2023: Just hit "submit" on the last set of grades. Cue some holiday chair-dancing!

The kid has a point...

7 December 2023: Chuckled at a student's final exam "mini essay" about "A Rose for Emily." The student quotes this line: "She looked bloated, like a body long submerged in motionless water, and of that pallid hue." Then the student wries, "When I first read this, all I could think of was the word 'rude.'" 

"Christmas Scandal"

6 December 2023: Working late into the evening after being on campus for eleven hours calls for TV comfort food. Tonight Parks and Rec's season two episode, "Christmas Scandal" is hitting the spot. 

One year...

5 December 2023: One year without my GrayBaby. Some moments from that day are so vivid and others are like a fog. I still miss him and wish he was still here, but remain grateful for all the sweet time I had with him. I am also grateful for the bundle of love and mischief that is Jo. And for the secretly-sweet BabyCat who owns more of my heart than I ever could have expected. 

If I try to write more, I'll end up crying a bit and that will give me headache and I've still got too much to do. So, it's just enough to say that I love him and I miss him.

Midnight Breakfast!

4 December 2023: This is kind of a cheat since the picture was taken on December 3, but since Midnight Breakfast kept me out until early this morning, I am counting the event as the thing I want to post about today. I had a fantastic time working the hot cocoa station with Hannah. I was joking that I was a "cocoa concierge," and basically spent my time encouraging students and hyping their cocoa creations. Also always a good time when I get to hang out with the amazing Coach Ford. 

Mel (always "Coach Ford" to me), me, and Hannah. I don't like most pictures of myself, but darn it if don't always love my "Midnight Breakfast" smiles.

I will say that I was wiped out most of today but strangely resilient. I think that's what Midnight Breakfast does to you. You pay a price the next day (especially when you don't sleep well and have to be back on campus super-early), but it's so freaking worth it. 

New tree...

3 December 2023: I didn't put up a tree last year because I thought I might have Wesley through the holiday season and a tree wouldn't have been practical (for complicated reasons). And then he died just a couple of days after I made that decision and it was just too sad to think about putting it up. 

This year, I wanted to get back to normal, but also remembered that the old tree's lights were acting up and making me a bit nervous. So I got a new one. It's not as full or nice as the old one and I miss the LED lights, but it's good enough and looks pretty. So far, Jo has been Level 4 of "naughty," but I imagine there will be some escalation. 

Holiday spirit settling in...

2 December 2023: Festive and busy day today. Started off with a bit of grading and then the Shepherdstown Christmas Parade--always so much fun. Then we help a great NWP event for the community ("How to Write a Christmas Movie" with Brian Ruberry). Then home for chores, putting up the Christmas lights, and a good walk. I am wiped out, but in a pretty good way. 

Jo's First Advent Calendar...

1 December 2023: On Thanksgiving, Erin, Eric, and the girls gave Jo and Veronica a Trader Joe's advent calendar. I give the girls a Lego calendar every year and today Erin sent me a picture of Isla opening the first door. I felt it was only right to reciprocate. (I did save a treat for Veronica, who had gone upstairs.)