Summer writing...

29 June 2023: "But the past few weeks have reminded me of two other lessons we don’t often hear: first, that we can count on curveballs more than we can depend on plans, and second, that joy, not just a sense of duty or obligation, serves us well and keeps us writing." --Mary Anne Lewis Cusato, in this great Inside HigherEd piece

It arrives in my inbox on a day when: 

a) I opened the link to the piece and finally read it...5 hours later,

b) I've been more or less working all day,

c) That work has included some work on my book, but also (time-consuming) odds and ends as I close out my assistant dean role,

d) I am also realizing how hard it will be for me to accomplish my typed-out-and-printed "Weekly Book Goals" list,

e) I feel very tempted to say "so what? I got other stuff done and that's okay,"

f) and I feel early guilt about doing that.

So Cusato's reminder about joy's role in writing is a welcome one. Right now--with everything I have to do this afternoon and tonight in preparation for a weekend away--this week's goals might not happen. But whatever I do get done--whenever I get it done--will have a closer connection to that joy if I just relax, at least right now. 

"Aunt Linda"

28 June 2023: Working on my entry on Iola Leroy and really enjoying thinking about the character of Aunt Linda, particularly critics pointing out (rightfully so!) how savvy she is. One of my favorite lines? “No, I didn’t; ef you buys me for a fool you loses your money shore” (69).

Work Cited

Harper, Frances E.W. Iola Leroy; Or, Shadows Uplifted. 1892. Edited with an introduction by Koritha Mitchell, Broadview, 2018.

"And even I'm getting tired / Of useless desires..."

27 June 2023: Seems like an appropriate song for this summer as I think about my evolving, complicated relationship with the university, particularly as I work on a document that might end up meaning nothing but one that I have to do anyway... "The place will never love you back," I keep telling myself. "The people might, but the place--the institution never will." 

Good distractions...

26 June 2023: Very long day, with a hard Faculty Senate meeting. Grateful to have had guest-hosting trivia to rush off to. A couple of hours of distraction. And then home for a Listen to Sassy watch-along to Pretty Woman. Not a bad one-two distraction punch. 

Birnam Wood

25 June 2023: I ended up really enjoying Birnam Wood, my book club's selection for this month. It's a slow (not in a bad way) start, really focused on character building. Then the plot starts to take off. Then--really close to the end--it really takes off. And all that character-building earlier pays off even more. I also enjoyed how Eleanor Catton creates these characters who made me cringe, made me mad, but also made me really feel for them. 

Of course, the really wonderful pay-off was the fun discussion and get-together I had with Cory and Kaitlyn this afternoon, a visit that stretched into dinner. 

Streetfest 2023

24 June 2023: Had a lot of fun volunteering at Streetfest today. I worked a "security" shift, basically politely asking folks to stay in the beer garden area. Great for people-watching and catching up with the folks I knew who walked by. Then I hung around and listened to some of the bands with Carrie. The rain threatened but held off all day. Lovely way to enjoy this amazing town. 

A foggy week...

23 June 2023: Sitting here reflecting on the work week, the adjective that comes to mind is "foggy." I don't mean literally--though it's been cold and rainy for days. I mean it more in terms of how impressionistic it is to me from even a short distance: Monday at Bender's seems a long time ago. What even was Tuesday night into Wednesday afternooon, other than the sickest and most "off my game" that I've felt in a long time? Thursday felt blessedly normal in some ways, though the vibes on campus are bad, bad, bad. And today was a flurry: meetings, dealing with scheduling an emergency Senate meeting, presenting at a virtual conference (!), finishing another entry for the book, and then dinner and a movie with Amy. 

Those last few clauses in the "Friday list" above are decent proof that I am definitely on the mend. I am grateful for the good stuff, as next week looks to be challenging. 

On we go...

"Whoops!"

22 June 2023: The post’s title comes from my (hastily scrawled, I must note) marginal note when I came across this passage, discussing Mary Elizabeth Sherwood’s 1897 Manners and Social Usage:

“In her comments qualifying the link between penmanship and character, Sherwood nonetheless reminds her readers of the importance of letters ‘agreeable to the eye,’ and of the general link between correspondence and character: ‘We cannot enter into that great question as to whether or not handwriting is indicative of character, but we hold that a person’s notes are generally characteristic, and that a neat, flowing, and graceful hand, and a clean sheet, free from blots, are always agreeable to the eye’” (Mahoney 417).

Look, she isn’t saying people with my kind of handwriting are trash. She’ll leave that for others to prove. Fair enough. 

Work Cited

Mahoney, Deirdre M. “‘More Than an Accomplishment’: Advice on Letter Writing for Nineteenth-Century American Women.” Huntington Library Quarterly: Studies in English and American History and Literature, vol. 66, no. 3–4, 2003, pp. 411–23. EBSCOhost.

Crashing with Tylenol and Jo...

21 June 2023: Some (minor) medical stuff meant I barely slept last night and felt really rough this morning and afternoon. Like, really. After advising, I picked up some Tylenol (only thing I can take with the antibiotic I am on) and crashed for a few hours. Like, basically crawled up to bed and just crashed. 

Jo was the perfect crash buddy. She was like, "Oh, is this what we're doing? Got it!" and sprawled OUT. Made cute little noises and stretched herself when I moved. Perfect.

Got out of bed a few hours later to meet my parents for dinner and felt so much better. The wonders of antibiotics, Tylenol, and Jo! 

Still a ways to go to get to normal, but I can see it around the bend, I think. 

Nineteenth-Century Feedback...

20 June 2023: Writing advice from the nineteenth century doesn't seem that different from writing advice from 2023: "From the 1830s through the 1890s, an age of transformation in the literary marketplace, many of the advisors' themes were consistent. In tones flat, pleading, or scolding, editors urged, Do not submit poems and stories you have just dashed off....Revise carefully, advisors reiterated. Your submissions are verbose. Strike out lines, sentences, and paragraphs, especially those you think uncommonly fine" (De Jong 15). 

Chuckled a bit while reading this piece. 

Work Cited

De Jong, Mary. “‘My Dear Unknown’: Advice to Literary Aspirants in Nineteenth-Century Periodicals.” Popular Nineteenth-Century American Women Writers and the Literary Marketplace, edited by Earl Yarington and Mary De Jong, Cambridge Scholars Publishing, 2007, pp. 10–34. 

Substitute hosting...

19 June 2023: Started a four-week gig substitute-hosting trivia at Captain Benders. That's a long stretch but I am more excited about it than I thought I would be. And for that two-plus hours, I didn't think about the bad stuff at work (which occupied most of the my day otherwise). 

"The one they pick's the one you'll know by..."

18 June 2023: Sitting here and thinking about my dad and about this song, which I can remember hearing him sing along to when I was a kid (badly, but that made it all the more charming).

When I called home today to wish my dad a happy Father's Day, I got around to telling him about my Assistant Dean position being eliminated. It shouldn't surprise me at all that he was wonderful about it. He said all the right things, including something I didn't realize I wanted to hear from him so much: that he thinks it's great that I am comfortable and happy enough professionally to not really want to be anything more than a professor. I told him how glad I was to hear him say it; it feels so good to be seen by him--and valued, loved, accepted. There isn't much more you can ask for from a parent. 

Twain's on fire...

17 June 2023: Was literally reading an article that discussed how Twain uses self-immolation imagery when this song--a cover I'd never heard before--came on. 

I do love this song, as I've posted about before. 

  

Session D stairwell thoughts...

16 June 2023: There was a moment today--in the midst of a busy advising session, when I was walking a piece of paper down to the room where I could get an override entered for a student--when I thought to myself, "God, I love this." 

And then I sort of laughed because remembered how hard this week (month? year?) has been in many aspects of my work life. And how hard things are going to be for the University for the next couple of years (at least). 

I sort of smiled to think that I had forgotten all of that in the moments before--in fact, during the entire time I was advising incoming students this morning. And I was so grateful for the good parts--always the best parts: working with students. What a blessing that the good parts will--in every way--help us through the hard parts.

Then I got my head back in the game, got the override approved, and headed back upstairs. 

"little Tippler..."

15 June 2023: Working on my entry on the temperance movement and this made me laugh: “The Dickinson sisters made wine together that they would drink with family and friends at the same time that their father was publicly supporting the temperance movement” (24). Worth remembering, of course, that temperance and abstinence weren't/aren't the same thing, but it's still funny. 

Post's title comes from Dickinson's best-known poem that invokes alcohol.

Works Cited

Young, Jake. “Dissolving Metaphors in Emily Dickinson’s Poems about Drink.” The Emily Dickinson Journal, vol. 28, no. 1, 2019, pp. 23–42. Project Muse.

Soothing baseball vibes...

14 June 2023: Grateful for a string of Yankee games that I have been able to watch over these past few days because they've been on FOX, TBS, and ESPN. Even when they lose, I am soothed enough and happy to get out of my own head a bit, even as I am reading during the commercials or half-paying attention while typing notes. 

Big Brother's Birthday

13 June 2023: As I sometimes do on days when I am not already certain what I am going to post about, I was sitting here thinking, "What parts of today stand out?" Today's answer is making me happy: it was my phone conversation with Christian, whose birthday is today. We talked longer than I thought we would--about his plans for his birthday dinner, about his yard, about the cats, about Aidan getting ready for college. Every part of the conversation made me smile. Just very grateful to have such a wonderful guy as my big brother. 

Tiny bit fired...

12 June 2023: Strange day that culimated with me learning my Assistant Dean position is being eliminated due to the financial challenges the university is facing. I kind of saw it coming, so it's not a shock. I have a lot of thoughts about it, but just feel pretty tired right now. I'll be fine; more time in the classroom is always a good thing. Other good things: fewer meetings, fewer emails, less to worry about. I feel bad for the folks who report to me, but I have faith they'll do just fine without me. 

"Buried"

11 June 2023: Another quiet and work-filled Sunday. No real complaints, though already feeling some of that anxiety/pre-emptive sadness over another largely lackluster summer. The soundtrack for a bit of today--Brandy Clark's terrific new album--probably didn't help with that mood, but man, it's good.

Some favorite alums...

10 June 2023: Got to hang out with Claudia, Linnea, and Alex for a couple hours today at a coffee shop in Martinsburg. It was just a blast to talk with them about books, TV, movies and life in general. I also love that they all live together. I keep telling them that's a sitcom I would watch. 

2 down, 3 to go...

9 June 2023: Completed Session B of Summer Advising today, which went much better than Tuesday (stressful!). It's not nearly as much fun as it was back when I started (before they switched formats and made everything so rushed), but it still is lovely to meet and work with the new students. 

Eight!

8 June 2023: Quite a year for BabyCat! We lost Wes in December, which broke her heart. Then we welcomed Jo in January, which I think makes Veronica happier than she'll admit. And then we had her recent medical adventure and confinement when she got more scratches, pets, and lap-time with me than she's had in her first 8 years combined. Now we are back to "normal," just in time for her 8th birthday. I got home late today, but stopped at Food Lion to get her (and Jo) some Lil Soups. 

It's a strange thing to love an animal like her so much--who literally keeps you just beyond arm's reach, who never fully trusts you or lets you get close except when she has no choice and then just gives in. 

I thought a lot about it that month we spent, just the two of us, mourning Wes and feeling that absence. That strange December with its patch of bitter cold, its "canceled" NY Christmas. She'd just come in the room and meow at me. "It's just you and me," I would say to her, so grateful to have her. 

And I thought about it all even more when I was so worried about her last month, just beside myself with guilt and so certain of my love for her--just the way she is. 

Happy 8th birthday, Veronica. Just the way you are. 

Mrs. Morgan

7 June 2023: Attended a funeral service for a friend/colleague's mom today and found myself quietly overwhelmed emotionally: a life well-lived, so much love, so many loved ones, and a path shaped by love and faith. 

"An Angel in Hell"

6 June 2023: 

"I was not the lead character in my own life for a long, long time. Cordelia knew she wasn’t the lead character either, but she protagonized herself. She stole the life out from under the less interesting man at the center of the story."

This essay is so good.  

"Gloria" on a "Four Hat Day"

5 June 2023: Wearing (at least?) four hats today and getting stuff done: Advisor, Assistant Dean, book author, and Contributing Editor. It's a lot, but--as always--podcasts help. Today Mark and Sarah Talk About Songs kicked off a new season with an episode that included this absolute banger from my childhood (which has also appeared recently in the perfect show Somebody, Somewhere).

Across the Spider-Verse

4 June 2023: Every time I see a Spider-Man movie, I leave the theater wishing I could shoot webs and swing between buildings. I think I even move a bit differently for the first hour or so--which is hilariously absurd for too many reasons to count. But man, he's just my favorite superhero. And these Miles Morales movies are like nothing else. 

A "two festival" day...

3 June 2023: Had a blast hanging out with Jane today, first at the Herndon Festival and then at the Reston Pride Festival. Always, always, always restores my soul to hang out with Jane. 

June Friday...

2 June 2023: Finished my entry on the Civil War today, attended the summer advising training, and handled (as well as possible) an Assistant Dean crisis. Left work a bit early to take in movie and take the evening off. Saw Boogeyman (it was fine/good enough) and got some dinner. 

Springing the patient...

1 June 2023: This evening, I freed BabyCat from the cage and the cone. I carried her downstairs and she promptly squirmed, hissed, jumped down, and ran back upstairs. She's since come back down (and gone back up again...and again) and is hissing at Jo, but it feels good to have her out and about. Three weeks felt like an eternity. 

When she jumped up on the coffee table--the exact spot where I started to think she might not be feeling well three Thursdays ago when she wouldn't chase the laser--I teared up. We're back, baby!