"Other Bodies"

28 November 2021: I've been thinking a lot over this past week about the pain people carry with them. Some of this comes from listening to the latest episode of Slow Burn and hearing about Rodney King's hard, sad life after his beating. In so many ways, he makes me think of Ryan, who also walked around with addiction, depression, mental illness, and got in trouble with the law as a result of all of that. So often, I think how different his life would have been if he weren't white and middle class, how much earlier it might have ended, how much more violently, perhaps. 

And then I learned of the death of my former student and friend, who also suffered with mental illness and addiction. And who was, like my brother, brilliant and hilarious and could be so much fun. But there it always was: pain. 

I haven't been thinking about this all in an entirely depressing way. It's more like a useful set of reminders and a call to be compassionate and kind. For that, I am grateful. And there's beauty in recognizing what can emerge from that compassion and connection. 

This episode of The Memory Palace, which came up during my walk today, seems like a perfect companion to these thoughts. The story of  Jane Froman, a beautiful singer from the 30s and 40s who suffered life-long pain after a plane crash but still made lovely music, is worth hearing. Host Roman Mars moves towards a conclusion by pointing out how often we forget that those around us--including people we love--have bodies in pain. He adds, "We can't hold [other people's pains] in our heads because they are our heads. The best we can do is pause to imagine and try to remember."

I suppose that's an encapsulation of the theme/discussion going on in my head this Thanksgiving Break.