Once I got back to my office, I was on the phone, in meetings, or in class pretty much non-stop. My only non-work moments included 1) a call with the vet's office about refilling Wesley's food* and 2) thirty minutes sitting at Wednesday Lunch with a couple of colleagues. But I almost broke down in tears during the first one and couldn't focus or enjoy myself during the second one.
Most of today's stress involved that big work project I am in charge of. Just minor, stupid, urgent, time-consuming stuff. And so much of it.
The thing is--and I know I have said and written about this before--the three hours in the classroom (and the two more spent meeting with students and re-teaching a class for a quarantined student)? That part was wonderful. It always is. Always the best part of any work day.
Going into my afternoon classes, I was feeling that acutely, actually looking forward to them so much. And I told my students that. "The best part of the job," I said, "is the actual job, the part that got me into it." It's so worth remembering. I need to remember that and start letting other stuff take less of my energy.
*The message they left said they couldn't give me the refill it until I brought him in for a visit. I called back and said "he's 17 and you have to sedate him to see him..." and went on for a bit and nearly cried. I added, "I've been bringing my cats to you faithfully since 2007. And I just lost my 19 year old cat..."** By that point, the woman I was speaking to--who was really kind and lovely--said they were just following procedure but she understood and she would talk to the doctor about overriding the requirement. So we'll see. I just don't want to bring him in unless I have to.
**Losing Bing is really hitting me hard these past few days. I am not sure why. I think part of it is just being stressed and wishing for comfort and knowing he's not here. And I guess I didn't let myself feel all of this too much at first.
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