"The Light in the Darkness Around Us"

31 January 2018: I have been joking for a while now (well, maybe 30 days?) that January seems like the longest month ever. Like it is January 74th today. It's been a long, hard month--even with all the good stuff. It is so hard to feel alienated and discouraged and like the world is just getting worse. Thus I am so grateful that a friend of mine shared this link today, Parker Palmer's reflection on William Stafford’s “A Ritual to Read to Each Other.” I wasn't familiar with the poem, but it's worthy of careful reading and reflection.

The closing lines:

"For it is important that awake people be awake,
or a breaking line may discourage them back to
          sleep;
the signals we give — yes or no, or maybe —
should be clear: the darkness around us is deep."

"John Henry Crosses the Threshold"

30 January 2018: Digging on this poem tonight. Feels just a bit like counter-programming for the State of the Union, too.

Here's the closing (by Samiya Bashir):

"...and folks thought
I was crazy try’n’a dream us up a
future even if I couldn’t see it
through all that dust       those sudden
                                                                           shouts and screams."

#Squadgoals

29 January 2018: At the end of a long day, it was quite nice to come home and find this waiting in my mailbox. And it is so cool to share the credit with my co-authors, two of the best colleagues I have at Shepherd.

Rasselas

28 January 2018: "'No disease of the imagination,' answered Imlac, 'is so difficult to cure, as that which is complicated with the dread of guilt: fancy and conscience then act interchangeably upon us, and so often shift their places, that the illusions of one are not distinguished from the dictates of the other.'" --Samuel Johnson, Rasselas

Johnson's text, written in 1759, is full of lines of wisdom, but the ones quoted above struck me with a particular poignancy as I read them over today in preparation for teaching the text on Tuesday. Johnson here shows such an astute sensitivity to the human mind--to the powers of guilt and anxiety.

"Having a Coke with You"

27 January 2018: "'Having a Coke with You' is about the everyday moment exalted to a new level of revelry, superseding the varied experiences the world offers, simply because of the presence of another person." --Jac Kuntz, writing on O'Hara's poem.

Kuntz's essay is a lovely appreciation, reminding me of just why this poem is so delightful. O'Hara's voice is so sweet and excited and passionate and funny here, caught up in energizing, transformative love, when the ordinary is extraordinary.

Current favorite lines:

"I look
at you and I would rather look at you than all the portraits in the world
except possibly for the Polish Rider occasionally and anyway it’s in the Frick
which thank heavens you haven’t gone to yet so we can go together the first time."

The Shape of Water

26 January 2018: "But when I think of her - of Elisa - the only thing that comes to mind is a poem, whispered by someone in love, hundreds of years ago: 'Unable to perceive the shape of You, I find You all around me. Your presence fills my eyes with Your love, It humbles my heart, For You are everywhere.'" --Giles, The Shape of Water

The lovely bit of dialogue quoted above made me smile and even swoon a bit. That is how it can feel to be in love, isn't it?

It's been a long week, very good in some ways, but very tough in others. Bad news flooding in from all over...and feeling like there isn't anything I can do about it. The work day ended with a difficult decision (forgive my vague description) at the end of a long day. Walking to my car and then on the brief drive home, I found myself playing upbeat music to lift my spirits. (Thanks, ABBA!) But even blasting and singing along to "Waterloo" probably wouldn't have been enough. It worked out quite well, then, that I finally had the chance to see The Shape of Water tonight. What a beautiful film. Enchanting (though also hard to watch in places) and packed with terrific performances.

Call Me by Your Name

25 January 2018: "We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster than we should that we go bankrupt by the age of thirty and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste!" --Professor Perlman, in Call Me by Your Name

Man, this movie. I feel like I am still basking in its light and beauty a full twenty-four hours after seeing it.

Tom Buchanan

24 January 2018: "Have you read The Rise of the Colored Empires by this man Goddard? ... Well, it's a fine book, and everybody ought to read it. The idea is if we don't look out the white race will be -- will be utterly submerged. It's all scientific stuff; it's been proved." --Tom Buchanan, in The Great Gatsby

We read The Great Gatsby every semester in my ENGL 301 class and I never get tired talking about Tom Buchanan. He's an awful, despicable, deplorable character, but so well-drawn. The "cruel body," the peaking-at-21, the yearning for a lost football game. I say to students, "You know someone like Tom Buchanan," and they nod their heads. He's a villain, but what a villain. (I do think there is a moment late in the book--in the scene where everything comes out in the open--that I do feel a twinge of pity for him, but that's another post, maybe...) The quotation above, in which he reveals his racist anxiety, is so important for understanding how white, male privilege responds when even the hint of a threat emerges.

Just like yesterday, students didn't need me to do anything for them to see Tom Buchanan's (and the damage they can do/are doing) everywhere today. So far, a good week for validating my career choices.

Gulliver's Travels

23 January 2018: "He is taller by almost the breadth of my nail, than any of his court, which alone is enough to strike an awe into the beholders." --a proclamation describing the Emperor of Lilliput, in Gulliver's Travels.

Although just about everything about or current political situation makes me sad, I am grateful (again and again) for reminders of just how relevant classic literature is for our current times. Today we took on Gulliver's Travels in ENGL 311. It wasn't lost on the students how much the petty, malicious Lilliputians remind us our worst selves (and worst presidents, though I let them make that leap on their own). One student rolled her eyes and mentioned the infamous "my button is bigger." And, of course, the kind of behavior Swift satirizes isn't confined to one party or worldview.

So the short version of this post? The humanities matter. (Duh.)

Back to Hemingway, Part II

22 January 2018: A pretty good day all around (featuring amazing "you don't need a coat" weather) and one of the highlights was definitely the first day of discussing The Sun Also Rises with my ENGL 360 students. (I posted about preparing for this class last week.) They love it (so far) and had some really great responses. They are drawn to Brett, even as she troubles then. They are already debating (sometimes with themselves) the big issues. They sighed or just nodded their heads in agreement as I shared my love for a certain passage. The class was a delight. On to Day Two!

"Trust in Me"

21 January 2018:

"Trust in me in all you do
Have the faith I have in you
Love will see us through
If only you trust in me
Why don't you, you trust me" --Etta James, "Trust in Me"

Got back early this afternoon from the short trip to Richmond with my head full of big old thoughts. Took a brief nap with Bing. Took a long walk. Spent the evening working on prepping for teaching Gulliver's Travels and continuing to think those big old thoughts. When this old number came up on Pandora, it seemed to fit the mood, if not the reading material. Ha.

Couch shopping...

20 January 2018: [Catch-up post!] After a lot of searching, Mike--with help from Jane and I--found the perfect couch for his place. So grateful to have had the chance to help him out, spend some time with him, laugh a lot, and focus on the future with an eye (and lots of love) towards the past and memories of Shannon.

Back to Hemingway...

(A rare day with two posts...)

Every time I teach ENGL 360 and go back to The Sun Also Rises, I am charmed, captivated, frustrated, and energized anew by what Hemingway is up to. This early exchange between Brett and Jake kills me:

"It's funny, I said. "It's very funny. And it's a lot of fun, to, to be in love."

"Do you think so?" her eyes looked flat again.

"I don't mean fun that way. In a way it's an enjoyable feeling."

"No," she said. "I think it's hell on earth."

"It's good to see each other."

"No. I don't think it is."

"Don't you want to?"

"I have to."

They are both right, aren't they? And that's why it's fun and hell on earth.

"Sugartooth"

19 January 2018: "What In the world are you going to do when the world has made its mind up about you?" --Brandi Carlile, "Sugartooth"

I have written before about how a Brandi Carlile song has helped and continues to help me process my brother's life and death. Today I listened to "Sugartooth." All I can say is how thankful I am for the gift of this kind of song for those of us who have lost loved ones to addiction.

Some Reflections Upon Marriage

18 January 2018: "But some sage Persons may perhaps object that were Women allow'd to Improve themselves, and not amongst other discouragements driven back by those wise Jests and Scoffs that are put upon a Woman of Sense or Learning, a Philosophical lady as she is call'd by way of Ridicule, they would be too Wise and too Good for the Men; I grant it, for vicious and foolish Men. Nor is it to be wonder'd that he is affraid he shou'd not be able to Govern them were their Understandings improv'd, who is resolv'd not to take too much Pains with his own. But these 'tis to be hop'd are no very considerable Number, the foolish at least; and therefore this is so far from being an Argument against their Improvement, that it is a strong one for it, if we do but suppose the Men to be as capable of Improvement as the Women, but much more if according to Tradition we believe they have greater Capacities." --Mary Astell, Some Reflections Upon Marriage

Each time I read Astell's text, which we discussed in my ENGL 311 class today, it surprises me with its relevance to our day and age. Especially during our current cultural moment, Astell's point in the section quoted above--that men are capable of improvement when it comes to their views on women--strikes me as both hilarious and hopeful.

My students today--all women, interestingly--loved the piece and Astell's wit. And they get it. In the words of one of them, "This text is dangerous."