30 September 2022: Home by 7:00 tonight (early for this week!) and have just crashed here with Wes and Veronica. Watched some fun TV, ate some pizza, and just crashed. Listening to the last inning of the Yankees game and then it's sleepy time.
(Also: turned the heat on for the first time this season, a bit earlier than I would like, but it's rainy out and the house was at 63 when I got home. Fall is, in fact, here.)
28 September 2022: "It's a good way to earn my shelf place on the planet." --Barbara Kingsolver tonight, explaining why she writes.
Still find myself feeling blessed and amazed that my job gives me the opportunity to do things like meet and then introduce Kingsolver to a packed room of her fans tonight. A gift and privilege to hear her speak.
27 September 2022: Saw my women's healthcare provider today for my annual visit. These visits are never fun, but I kept thinking today how grateful I am to have coverage, a wonderful provider, and access to health care--including the referral for my yearly mammogram. It can be easy to see these appointments and procedures as unpleasant chores, but what a luxury take them for granted enough to see them that way.
25 September 2022: “…she was thinking of Preston when he came home from school. He would sit on the edge of a chair and watch those pillowcases for all he was worth. He’d race to tell her each time another sleeper struggled from its stupor to begin the slow climb, pressed between the soft walls of fabric. She and Preston would cheer for the stragglers, because at the end of the day, it was something they could do. Count the living and the dead, and do the math” --Barbara Kingsolver, Flight Behavior
In preparation for Kingsolver's visit to Shepherd this week, I've been thinking about this book quite a bit, particularly this section, where Dellarobia imagines watching frozen butterflies wake up and emerge. I feel like our world is in this position now: waiting, watching, counting.
24 September 2022: Had a very nice evening with my parents at the Appalachian Heritage Festival on campus. Felt good to share this with them on a lovely early Fall night.
23 September 2022: Been carrying around some big emotions about a work-related task and not sure how to move forward. Yesterday I realized that talking with Tim about it--and enlisting his help--would maybe be the right step. Waited all day today until we were both free to talk about it. Felt a bit of the weight lifting from my shoulders as we talked. We've got a plan and I am reminded--for the thousandth time this year, I think--how lucky I am to work with him.
22 September 2022: Got a lot done today on campus today (not enough, but a lot!). Got a flu shot after work. Came home and mowed the lawn. (These Thursday evening mows have been really nice--three weeks in a row with great weather and good vibes for getting it done.) Did some more reading. Now I am watching the Yankees (could Aaron Judge hit 61 tonight?) and getting ready to do a bit more grading.
I don't like doing too many of these laundry list posts, but they seems dominant lately.
And really, there's just one moment I keep thinking about: a phone conversation with one of my favorite colleagues where I thanked her for all she's done on this huge project that got dumped into her lap. In a much lesser role, it got dumped on me, too, and it's not been great--and there hasn't been much recognition. So maybe that was on my mind, too, when I thanked her for all she's done--and she's been through some stuff along the way--and literally felt myself getting emotional. Like, I know my voice changed and she could sense it. It was silly, perhaps, to feel that way over something as dumb as this project is. But I am glad I let her know that I saw her, appreciated her, and am so grateful for her. I hope it helped.
21 September 2022: Making it to day 1001 of my streak was the easiest part of my day, even with the old plantar fasciitis acting up and with a really full calendar.
It's just a rough time.
Here's what's getting me through: my students, friends like Hannah and Tim, Wes (and BabyCat, ha), podcasts, nighttime TV, and walks. So much else is just...trash.
And making that list--and realizing how many other ways I am so blessed--also gets me through it.
18 September 2022: Weirdly busy day today--kind of non-stop until about an hour ago: working in the office, running some errands, and then heading the WISH reception. My goodness, just like last year, there's really no other event like it.
