One down...

30 September 2024: Today was a looooonnnng day, but a good one. Non-stop from 7:00 a.m. until nearly 9:30 (guest-hosting trivia at Bender's). I never had time for my walk, but am still at over 12K steps. 

One Provost finalist visit down, two more to go. 

Busy, boring, but okay Sunday...

29 September 2024: Spent most of today doing catch-up work from yesterday (weekly chores) and grading Annotated Bibliographies from my ENGL 301 students. Not a lot of fun. But I made steady progress and am almost ready for the kick-off to what will be a busy week. Step by step...

2024 F. Scott Fitzgerald Conference

28 September 2024: Today Tim and I took the biggest group we've ever taken to the F. Scott Fitzgerald Conference in Rockville where they got to hear from and meet Jesmyn Ward and Kiese Laymon. Then back to Tim and Kevin's for dinner and so much laughter. Exhausted, but a great day.

As usual, bit by bit...

27 September 2024: Woke up this morning feeling some stress and anxiety over...a bunch of things. Plus, I'm pre-exhausted for this weekend and next week (busy with students all day tomorrow, catching up on chores and grading 301 annotated bibliographies, and the the craziness of the provost candidate visits). 

But then it was just...a day--and a pretty good one. Too busy to dwell in anxiety. Just had to get stuff done and keep going. And when that stuff got done, that stress and anxiety diminished. 

I was especially anxious about a meeting with a student--but even it went better than I could have hoped.

Still pre-exhausted but once again realizing that I can do this. 

Starting to feel really real...

26 September 2024:

We have a cover!

"I've never run out of poetry to nourish me..."

25 September 2024: 

[Catch-up post because when I got home last night, my beloved old laptop died on me, mid-message.]

What a pleasure to once again listen to Mark Harshman talk about poetry and read some of his work. 

Trivia mood-lift...

24 September 2024: Got an annoying and upsetting work-related email towards the end of the workday. Once I found myself really thinking about it, all the anger and tension filled my body. But then I remembered that in just a little while, I'd be at trivia and that, for a couple of hours, I'd be having a good time. Worked like a charm.

"ecstatic cahoots"

23 September 2024: Thinking about this passage from The Great Gatsby that we talked about today in class: 

Just before I reached the hedge I remembered something and turned around.

“They’re a rotten crowd,” I shouted across the lawn. “You’re worth the whole damn bunch put together.”

I’ve always been glad I said that. It was the only compliment I ever gave him, because I disapproved of him from beginning to end. First he nodded politely, and then his face broke into that radiant and understanding smile, as if we’d been in ecstatic cahoots on that fact all the time. His gorgeous pink rag of a suit made a bright spot of colour against the white steps, and I thought of the night when I first came to his ancestral home, three months before. The lawn and drive had been crowded with the faces of those who guessed at his corruption—and he had stood on those steps, concealing his incorruptible dream, as he waved them goodbye.

Such good stuff. In particular today that description of that smile stood out to me--including "ecstatic cahoots." 

"One More Try"

22 September 2024: 

The way this song had a hold on 10/11-year-old me! It's wild to think about that--how it filled me with what I thought were very grown-up emotions. The way I remember specific moments when the camera pulls in on his so-very-handsome and tortured face! Like, when this came on Youtube today, I still knew when they were coming. 

Extra wild? It's still so moving to me. I am not sure I have listened to it from start to finish in years there are so many movements that are crushing. 

"...who just is unwilling to try...So cold...inside."  

But that final moment? When he says, "Maybe...just one more try..."? Something that undercuts the five and a half minutes before it, but also seems heartbreakingly inevitable? So good. Sigh--just as wistfully as 36 years (!) ago.  

McDaniel with Beth...

21 September 2024: What a treat it was to spend some some time with Beth today while her daughter, Caitlyn, finished up an overnight recruitment visit at McDaniel College. I got there around 1:00, heading straight to Westminster after finishing an open house at Shepherd. We had lunch, walked around campus, and just caught up for a while. 

Beth is the first friend that I made at Roanoke. That friendship sustained me during some of the hardest days in that early and very tough transition. The fact that we are still friends nearly 30 years later--her own kid is looking at colleges (!)--is such a gift.

The amazing Rob Rufus

20 September 2024: It's been a long (but good!) week and my brain is not going to let me be too articulate about this, but indisputably the best part of today was having Rob Rufus visit my Young Adult Lit class. My friend Leigh, who organizes the Shepherdstown Book Festival, contacted me months ago, asking if Rob, a featured author, could talk to students. I took a leap of faith and told Leigh 1) absolutely and 2) I would teach Rob's book Die Young With Me in the class, even though I hadn't read it yet.

Fast forward to these past two weeks. My students loved this book and were so excited to get to meet Rob and ask him questions. And Rob is just a wonderful human being--funny, smart, creative, and so unbelievably kind and empathetic. 

I had to run from that class to a meeting with a student--and then had two more back-to-back conferences. When I had a little break, I stepped into the hallway, peeked into the classroom, and saw that--over an hour later--he was still in there, talking to three students who lingered. I have no idea how long he was there, but it just took my breath away. This guy catapulted to the top of my favorite people list. 

12 years!

19 September 2024: Attended my last meeting today as a Director on the Shepherd University Foundation. Term limits mean I am done--term limits that kept me there for twelve years. Reflecting on it all, I am grateful for and proud of the experience. I learned a lot, met some terrific people, and felt like it made a difference. 

301 conferences...

18 September 2024: Started one-on-one conferences with my ENGL 301 students today: 20 minutes for us to talk about their first annotated bibliography entries. 

Perhaps I just got very lucky this semester, but like those ENGL 101 conferences, these students (by and large) get it and are doing pretty solid work. That's reassuring and a blessing since more than any of my classes this semester, I've felt "behind" on this one after missing a day when I was sick. 

ENGL 301 is a tough class for students--so much material to cover--so we aren't out of the woods, but I am certainly happy with this strong start. 

Get you a friend like Hannah...

17 September 2024: I say it all the time, but get you a friend like Hannah. I texted her a screenshot today of an email from my publisher that indicates an ISBN for my book. "I have an ISBN," I said. Her response? 

"It looks like such a slay ISBN!!!!" 

The way she always says the best thing!

"The Park. Sunday. Queens, New York."

16 September 2024: "Perhaps they, too, finally got a day as lovely as this one – a chance to rest, to play, to run their fingers through the grass of this strange new land they were hoping to call home." --Jasmine Garsd, on this episode of Code Switch. 

With all the outright racist and hateful discussion of immigrants right now, this episode had me riveted. People--just beautiful, real, and inspiring people--spending a day in the park. 

It's terrific and essential listening. 

September Sunday Sun...

15 September 2024: Impeccable vibes from Jo today, as usual. She is sending a message about the energy I need to embody.

"Blue Bayou"

14 September 2024: A good day and a peaceful evening unfolding here, but I'm also sad about some stuff involving people I love a lot. I wish I could fix things and, most of all, make my sister--the strongest person I know and one of the kindest--realize what she can change and what she can't. And, even more than that, that she doesn't have a thing to prove to anyone. I could get her to see herself the way I do. Sigh... 

This song, which has also been on my mind the last few days, kind of embodies this evening's...wistful (?) vibes...

Speak No Evil

13 September 2024: Seeing the trailer for the American version of Speak No Evil virtually every time I've been to the movies this summer got me interested enough in the original to check it out on Wednesday night. Actually, the other thing that made me interested in it was seeing pop-culture critics who I respect basically describing it as very good, but something you won't ever want to watch again. 

Turns out, that description was spot-on. What a bleak, dark, and powerful movie!

As for the 2024 Americanized version, which I saw tonight? Well, I feel like I could write paper upon paper about putting them in dialogue with each other. So strange to see the same beats--and the same dialogue in places--play out but also feel like the films are apples and oranges. 2024's film is fun and exciting and funny. It's enjoyable in a way the original isn't. But that first one? Much more powerful. 

Those 101 conferences...

12 September 2024: Just like yesterday, every one of them today was the good kind of surprising. What a gift to get to teach these students. 

23 years...

11 September 2024: Twenty-three years later and the day still makes you pause and mourn and remember. 

This year, I find myself thinking about the students in my ENGL 101 class, none of whom were born yet back in 2001. I met with one-on-one conferences with six of them today and every single one of them impressed me, albeit in different ways--and these are six pretty different students. Some of the conversations affirmed what I suspected about the students and their abilities. Some of the conversations surprised me--each time in a positive way. 

Each one made me feel hopeful about the future, an emotion that is quite welcome to ride side-by-side with all of the other emotions of this anniverary. 

Back at trivia!

10 September 2024: After missing last week, it was really nice to be back at trivia tonight. It was only one week, but I missed my teams. And so many people asked how I was doing and said they were glad I was back.That feels good. One guy--a guy I really like, along with his wife--even brought me some tomatoes, as he promised a couple weeks ago. It was a really nice night. 

Dinner with the Coven

9 September 2024: Had dinner with some of my favorite women on campus, a group that I affectionately call a "coven." They are powerful and get stuff done. They inspire me and make me laugh. It's just always the best time hanging out with them. 

AfrAId

8 September 2024: AfrAId was a perfectly delightful way to spend an hour and twenty-something minutes on a Sunday afternoon. Creepy, dumb, and just fun. 

Volleyball's back...

7 September 2024: Really nice Saturday so far. It was rainy this morning, so I did the weekly Saturday chores and got some work done. Then I walked up to watch the volleyball team play (and sweep their opponent). Even season, I forget until that very first game just how much fun they are to watch. When the game was over, the sun was out and I could take a really nice walk. Then a bit more work. And now "off" for the night. Just me, the girls, pizza, and TV. 

Made it through week 2...

6 September 2024: Normally making it through Week 2 of a semester isn't really something to celebrate, but when you are working your way through COVID, it's a different situation. It wasn't that bad, but I am tired and should sleep well tonight. Coming home tonight, taking a nice bath, and eating some take-out in front of the TV with Veronica and Jo has felt like the best treat. 

"Reading anything good?"

5 September 2024: This is kind of a cheat, since the thing I am writing about happened yesterday, but it's been making me smile today. I called Krista and Isla to find out how school was going and then asked them each if they were reading anything good.

Krista's answer was pure Krista: she had checked a book out from the library about mythologies from around the world.

Isla's answer: The Big Book of Butts, also from the library.

I told Hannah that story and she said, "The two sides of your brain!" Ha!

Chainsaws?

4 September 2024: I asked my ENGL 101 students if any of them did anything interesting or fun over the Labor Day Weekend. One said she went to Blackwater Falls; another went home "to see my dog." One said, "Well, I did some trainings at work."

"What kind of trainings?" I asked.

"Chainsaws," she said.

Then I remembered she works as a--I think the term is "fright actor"?--at a haunted house. 

Suddenly it made sense, but also opened up a whole new line of questioning. 

Revolution routine...

3 September 2024: I think BabyCat and I finally have her monthly (at least in spring/summer months) application of Revolution down to a workable routine. (Jo is not a dream when it comes to this process; so squirmy!) 

Anyway...

As soon as Veronica knows something is up, she hides under the guestroom bed. I shut the door. I gently poke her with a grabber I got for reaching high stuff (ha) and she eventually crawls out and sits on the chest by the bed, cowering and howling, and looking terrified and miserable, but also resolved. 

I brush her for a while and she relaxes. Then I put her in my lap (slowly, gently at every step) and brush her some more. 

Then I put the Revolution on. 

Then she is free to go. 

She hates and loves it and it's all so weird and perfectly "BabyCat and me." But it's so much less dramatic and messy than it usually is. 

And I am also often humming, singing, and sometimes playing our song.

Best Labor Day Vibes...

2 September 2024: The award for Best Labor Day Vibes goes to Veronica, who led from start to finish. 

As for me? Not too bad. Still tired, with a sore throat. That super-annoying last-phase-of-a-cold dry cough is coming on, too. But the day was gorgeous. I mowed the lawn and felt okay. Watched a lot of TV. Just relaxed as much as I could. Grateful for a day to do that. 

Sick but grateful

1 September 2024: To be honest, I was really bummed to wake up this morning and not feel a bit better. Now, I don't feel worse, but you just kind of expect a steady ascent by day four or whatever this is. Still really tired (the worst part), with some congestion (just a bit), a headache (on and off), and a sore throat (tolerable). 

But then I reminded myself of some good news I heard yesterday (not mine to share) and that was an instant mood lifter.

And then I appreciated anew having a long weekend to rest and recover.

And then, as the morning progressed, I took some time to count the acts of real kindness from my friends. Hannah brought me some groceries on Thursday, after a long day and a long week for her at work. Tim ordered delivery from King's for me last night (with plenty left over for dinner today)--especially amazing since he and Kevin have had a week that the world "wild" falls short of describing. Then today, Carrie and James brought me a few more groceries.

My tendency is to resist these offers from folks. I hate for people to go out of their way for me. But this time, I made myself think about how I would feel if someone I cared about needed something or if I could do something to make them happier and they told me "no, thank you." "You would want them to let you do it," I told myself. 

So, I did. And it's really brightened my spirit to think about all that kindness.