Chose this picture because I am pretty sure this is from a period of time when our relationship was at its most contentious (at least during childhood). He was my chief tormentor--so merciless at times. (Of course, I know annoyed the hell out of him, though unintentionally, for the most part.)
I look at it now and see a little boy, already wrestling with challenges.
But look at him here: so cool, performing a bit, and so darn cute. It's a kind of gift to be able to look back and see these images again, through the eyes of someone older.
Sometimes the pain of it all--his struggles, the chances lost, the long, sad decline--still hits like the biggest, saddest gut punch. But lately, at least most days, the sadness rides alongside gratitude for having known and loved him and for remembering him.
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