I'm curious if other people have had something in them break the last few weeks, where you realize "normal," or even a rough approximation of it is gone for a good long while. We've always known that at some level but I feel it intensely and viscerally right now.— Chris Hayes (@chrislhayes) July 6, 2020
Really feeling this today and am grateful to have someone else say it out loud.
When you live alone (on top of a really hard year emotionally) and this crisis has taken away so many things that make you happy, the idea that this thing has no end in sight? The things that got me through hard times this past year--teaching, my students, my colleagues, meeting up with friends, movies, trivia, baseball--they are all gone or dramatically different. So what do I do now? [There are answers: reading, writing, the cats, treasuring my walks now more than ever.] [And it doesn't help when I make stupid mistakes in the limited interactions I do have with people. Kicking myself so many times for the things I say, for my ridiculousness at times, for my lack of chill and yearning for more.]
It's overwhelming and just so sad. I haven't paid nearly the same price as so many others and I know that everyone's situation is difficult. I am, and continue to be, insanely blessed. I remind myself of that when I can. I can keep working on it and on me. Channeling my inner Burr here: "I am the one thing in life I can control."
But here's what really hurts and gives me that visceral reaction Hayes alludes to--and I know it's what most normal, decent people are thinking of in these moments, too: all of the other people who are already suffering and will continue to suffer who aren't as lucky. So much hurt already and so much more to come. And our leadership has utterly failed us, with no sign of correcting the course.
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