31 March 2018:
"I'm alright with a slow burn
Taking my time, let the world turn
I'm gonna do it my way, it'll be alright
If we burn it down and it takes all night
It's a slow burn, yeah" --Kacey Musgraves, "Slow Burns"
A friend sent me a link to this song today and I really like it. Like I responded to her, it's a great song for a quiet Saturday.
Saturday, March 31, 2018
Friday, March 30, 2018
"I Tried to Befriend Nikolas Cruz. He Still Killed My Friends."
30 March 2018:
"But students should not be expected to cure the ills of our genuinely troubled classmates, or even our friends, because we first and foremost go to school to learn. The implication that Mr. Cruz’s mental health problems could have been solved if only he had been loved more by his fellow students is both a gross misunderstanding of how these diseases work and a dangerous suggestion that puts children on the front line.
It is not the obligation of children to befriend classmates who have demonstrated aggressive, unpredictable or violent tendencies. It is the responsibility of the school administration and guidance department to seek out those students and get them the help that they need, even if it is extremely specialized attention that cannot be provided at the same institution." --Isabelle Robinson, a student at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School
Read the whole piece here. These kids are amazing, but the fact that they have to make these points is just so depressing.
"But students should not be expected to cure the ills of our genuinely troubled classmates, or even our friends, because we first and foremost go to school to learn. The implication that Mr. Cruz’s mental health problems could have been solved if only he had been loved more by his fellow students is both a gross misunderstanding of how these diseases work and a dangerous suggestion that puts children on the front line.
It is not the obligation of children to befriend classmates who have demonstrated aggressive, unpredictable or violent tendencies. It is the responsibility of the school administration and guidance department to seek out those students and get them the help that they need, even if it is extremely specialized attention that cannot be provided at the same institution." --Isabelle Robinson, a student at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School
Read the whole piece here. These kids are amazing, but the fact that they have to make these points is just so depressing.
Thursday, March 29, 2018
More on Great Expectations
29 March 2018: "She's beautiful and unattainable and empty." --a student in my ENGL 311 class on Estella in Great Expectations, in response to my question about what it is that makes Pip love her. This was such a concise and smart answer. The class has done a terrific job with this book so far, including the complicated character that is Pip.
This re-read has me focused mostly on the "adult Pip" looks back on "young Pip" and "young adult Pip." His voice isn't the voice of someone who has made peace with his past or gotten "past it," whatever that means. He is so hard on himself and the very process of telling these stories and relating his earlier self's thoughts is painful. That adds a layer of pain that largely escaped me on earlier readings. Maybe that's a reflection of my current self looking back on the 40 years behind me and surveying how much peace I had made with earlier selves. I think (hope?) that I am somewhere beyond "adult Pip," but maybe not completely.
This re-read has me focused mostly on the "adult Pip" looks back on "young Pip" and "young adult Pip." His voice isn't the voice of someone who has made peace with his past or gotten "past it," whatever that means. He is so hard on himself and the very process of telling these stories and relating his earlier self's thoughts is painful. That adds a layer of pain that largely escaped me on earlier readings. Maybe that's a reflection of my current self looking back on the 40 years behind me and surveying how much peace I had made with earlier selves. I think (hope?) that I am somewhere beyond "adult Pip," but maybe not completely.
Wednesday, March 28, 2018
Finishing up Fun Home
28 March 2018: "Again, the troubling gap between word and meaning. My feeble language skills could not bear the weight of such a laden experience." --Alison Bechdel, Fun Home
We finished up our discussion of Fun Home in ENGL 360 today and, on this read-through, I found myself especially drawn the changes young Alison goes through as she writes in her journal, first inserting a the phrase "I think" in between every assertion and later writing only the barest facts or including insincere/faux-ironic statements. It's so sad to watch her run away from her voice.
In a much less dramatic sense, this section also makes me think about my writing, including this blog, which is a kind of journal (more than a diary), existing for me more than anything else while also being somewhat public. I think everyday about what to post, how open to be about certain thoughts and topics, and will often avoid a topic completely if I feel I can't be honest or open. There are ways that actually makes the writing better (I think). It's all pretty interesting, though perhaps I am not up to the challenge of being more eloquent about it at the end of a long day.
(I brought my blog up as an example in class, calling it my "stupid little blog," and one of my students affectionately but fiercely chided me for such a description saying that if I wrote it, then it was important and that I shouldn't call it "stupid and little." Sweet, right? Again, these kids are alright.)
We finished up our discussion of Fun Home in ENGL 360 today and, on this read-through, I found myself especially drawn the changes young Alison goes through as she writes in her journal, first inserting a the phrase "I think" in between every assertion and later writing only the barest facts or including insincere/faux-ironic statements. It's so sad to watch her run away from her voice.
In a much less dramatic sense, this section also makes me think about my writing, including this blog, which is a kind of journal (more than a diary), existing for me more than anything else while also being somewhat public. I think everyday about what to post, how open to be about certain thoughts and topics, and will often avoid a topic completely if I feel I can't be honest or open. There are ways that actually makes the writing better (I think). It's all pretty interesting, though perhaps I am not up to the challenge of being more eloquent about it at the end of a long day.
(I brought my blog up as an example in class, calling it my "stupid little blog," and one of my students affectionately but fiercely chided me for such a description saying that if I wrote it, then it was important and that I shouldn't call it "stupid and little." Sweet, right? Again, these kids are alright.)
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
"Thoughts on Inspiration"
27 March 2018: "But let me tell you about my heaven. My heaven is an accessible bookstore followed by never-ending dinner and coffee with my Grandmothers."
The author of this blog post is someone I knew when we were both kids on Long Island way back when. For a couple of years (at most?), we went to the same school. And then wonder that is Facebook (yes, sometimes it is a force for good!) helped us reconnect maybe five years ago.
I feel like the beneficiary here as reading her writing has been such a treat. She is a terrific writer: keenly observant, grounded in reality while also concerned with "big" ideas, and wickedly funny. And importantly (for me), her work has helped me grow in my understanding of disabilities and the people who live with them. I think her writing is part of the reason why when I saw that cartoon she mentions in the piece, my radar pinged and I was like, "there's something janky about that." I promise that's not a realization I would have had even five years go. Then she writes lines like those quoted above I find myself (again) moved and challenged. What a powerful combination.
The author of this blog post is someone I knew when we were both kids on Long Island way back when. For a couple of years (at most?), we went to the same school. And then wonder that is Facebook (yes, sometimes it is a force for good!) helped us reconnect maybe five years ago.
I feel like the beneficiary here as reading her writing has been such a treat. She is a terrific writer: keenly observant, grounded in reality while also concerned with "big" ideas, and wickedly funny. And importantly (for me), her work has helped me grow in my understanding of disabilities and the people who live with them. I think her writing is part of the reason why when I saw that cartoon she mentions in the piece, my radar pinged and I was like, "there's something janky about that." I promise that's not a realization I would have had even five years go. Then she writes lines like those quoted above I find myself (again) moved and challenged. What a powerful combination.
Monday, March 26, 2018
Walking it out...
26 March 2018: A crazy-busy day today--so busy that I had to email a student that yes, I absolutely needed to see her that day, but that looking at her schedule and mine, the only time I could meet with her was between 2:00 and 2:10. (It worked for her, so whew!) And it was a day that pulled my head and heart in every possible direction: stress about getting everything done, concern for students who are either outwardly physically ill or just seem overwhelmed (two of them cried in my office), advising appointments, paperwork to process, meetings about issues from classroom civility to academic restructuring, stacks of papers to grade. And somewhere in there I also taught three pretty good classes. By the time I got home and met my parents (who are in town) for dinner, I was kind of wiped out and scattered.
But then I got to do something I haven't done for a week: took a good long walk. The snow and ice last week kept me in on Tuesday and Wednesday, and while I certainly got my steps in while in Ohio, that isn't the same as these walks for pleasure/relaxation. I didn't actually get out there tonight until after 8:00 p.m., but boy, was it nice to be back to "normal" in the cold night air...feeling a bit centered again.
But then I got to do something I haven't done for a week: took a good long walk. The snow and ice last week kept me in on Tuesday and Wednesday, and while I certainly got my steps in while in Ohio, that isn't the same as these walks for pleasure/relaxation. I didn't actually get out there tonight until after 8:00 p.m., but boy, was it nice to be back to "normal" in the cold night air...feeling a bit centered again.
Sunday, March 25, 2018
Home again...
25 March 2018: After a great convention and a long drive back, it was wonderful to get back home, see my feline crew, and spend some time with some of my favorite friends. Now onto spring and finishing the semester up on a good note!
Saturday, March 24, 2018
Safe crackin'
24 March 2018:
Safe crackin! (Or weird professor makes her student pretend to be a 19th-century criminal.)
Day Three in Cincinnati was a good one even though it snowed all day. The final set of Shepherd students presented their work and each and every one made us proud. By the evening, I was a bit punchy and Kylie was kind enough to indulge my silliness.
Safe crackin! (Or weird professor makes her student pretend to be a 19th-century criminal.)
Day Three in Cincinnati was a good one even though it snowed all day. The final set of Shepherd students presented their work and each and every one made us proud. By the evening, I was a bit punchy and Kylie was kind enough to indulge my silliness.
Harriet Beecher Stowe House
[Catch-up post]
23 March 2018: Day Two of the convention had plenty of highlights, but I am going to go with visiting the Stowe House. We learned so much on our visit, including the fact that when the house was a boarding house (in the early twentieth century) it was in the Green Book. That took my breath away.
23 March 2018: Day Two of the convention had plenty of highlights, but I am going to go with visiting the Stowe House. We learned so much on our visit, including the fact that when the house was a boarding house (in the early twentieth century) it was in the Green Book. That took my breath away.
Cincinnati, Day 1
[Catch-up post]
22 March 2018: After a long drive, we (me and four students) made it to Cincinnati for the Sigma Tau Delta Convention, meeting up with the car of students who had driven the day before. The previous days' snow had made everything a bit fraught, so it was wonderful to have everyone safe and arrived. Here's the group: seven very impressive young women.
22 March 2018: After a long drive, we (me and four students) made it to Cincinnati for the Sigma Tau Delta Convention, meeting up with the car of students who had driven the day before. The previous days' snow had made everything a bit fraught, so it was wonderful to have everyone safe and arrived. Here's the group: seven very impressive young women.
Wednesday, March 21, 2018
"Uncut footage of your lives..."
21 March 2018: "God will use the entire uncut footage of your lives for God's purpose. Which is to say nothing is lost. Nothing is wasted. The good is so good and the bad is so useful." --Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber
I came across this quotation as part of a post on the ELCA Advocacy Facebook page. They also posted a link to a wonderful sermon by Rev. Bolz-Weber. I really love the idea that God can use all the parts of our lives. Through him, we can, too. Good thoughts for another quiet, snow-filled day.
I came across this quotation as part of a post on the ELCA Advocacy Facebook page. They also posted a link to a wonderful sermon by Rev. Bolz-Weber. I really love the idea that God can use all the parts of our lives. Through him, we can, too. Good thoughts for another quiet, snow-filled day.
Tuesday, March 20, 2018
"Gate A-4"
20 March 2018: A colleague sent me this essay today after she was reminded of it in a meeting we both attended yesterday. I have always loved Naomi Nye, but this lovely piece was new to me. I needed its hope and light today.
Monday, March 19, 2018
"not far away..."
19 March 2018: Started the day off feeling weirdly anxious and just not feeling well (including physically--another stupid cold seems to be coming on right after I shook the previous one). So I was grateful when I saw a friend post a link to this Dietrich Bonhoeffer sermon. My friend is going through a medical crisis with her baby, so the sermon brought her some comfort, especially these lines: “Learn to recognize and understand the hour of the storm... This is the time when God is incredibly close to you, not far away.” Now my silly morning anxieties pale in comparison to what my friend is going through, but like I said, I was grateful to read these words.
Sunday, March 18, 2018
"High On You"
18 March 2018:
"Talkin' to myself, runnin' in the heat,
Beggin' for your touch in the middle
Of the street and I --
I can't stop thinking 'bout you girl.
I must be living in a fantasy world.
I've searched the whole world over
To find a heart so true.
Such complete intoxication,
I'm high on you." Survivor, "High On You"
Sunday turned out to be a gorgeous day--not a bad way to end Spring Break, though it did make me wish the rest of break had been a bit warmer/less dreary. Anyway, this song came on the radio and just made me happy, like it always does.
"Talkin' to myself, runnin' in the heat,
Beggin' for your touch in the middle
Of the street and I --
I can't stop thinking 'bout you girl.
I must be living in a fantasy world.
I've searched the whole world over
To find a heart so true.
Such complete intoxication,
I'm high on you." Survivor, "High On You"
Sunday turned out to be a gorgeous day--not a bad way to end Spring Break, though it did make me wish the rest of break had been a bit warmer/less dreary. Anyway, this song came on the radio and just made me happy, like it always does.
Saturday, March 17, 2018
Sweet 16
17 March 2018: Bing turned 16 today. Highlights of his day included napping with BabyCat, playing in a big box, and pretending to be interested in the ridiculous cake I made "for him."
Friday, March 16, 2018
Love, Simon
16 March 2018: (Lots of movie posts lately, I know...)
Saw this charming film today and really enjoyed it. But maybe my favorite part was outside of the film proper. At the film's conclusion, when the title character finally meets his love interest (and then every time they kissed), the young people in the theater squealed and cheered and clapped in delight. It was so sweet and so lovely. Gave me hope for the future.
Saw this charming film today and really enjoyed it. But maybe my favorite part was outside of the film proper. At the film's conclusion, when the title character finally meets his love interest (and then every time they kissed), the young people in the theater squealed and cheered and clapped in delight. It was so sweet and so lovely. Gave me hope for the future.
Thursday, March 15, 2018
The Florida Project
15 March 2018: Finally got a chance to see The Florida Project this evening. What an amazing film, simultaneously beautiful and painful, hard to watch and utterly engaging.
Wednesday, March 14, 2018
Back to Great Expectations
14 March 2018: "That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But it is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the formation of the first link on one memorable day." --Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
I spent part of today re-reading the open chapters of Great Expectations in preparation for my ENGL 311 class last week. The lines above always stand out to me, inviting the reader to contemplate how one small event can set a whole chain of events into motion.
I spent part of today re-reading the open chapters of Great Expectations in preparation for my ENGL 311 class last week. The lines above always stand out to me, inviting the reader to contemplate how one small event can set a whole chain of events into motion.
Tuesday, March 13, 2018
Daniel and Nicole...
13 March 2018: I was just talking with a friend today about how, if you are looking for some light and joy in the world (especially on a day like today, when the president fires his Secretary of State over effin' Twitter), you could do worse than to read Nicole Cliffe and Daniel Ortberg's tweets about his transition, their friendship, and his book tour. These are two wonderful, smart, and funny people, supporting each other through something big and it's just amazing to watch. And these interviews with Ortberg are also well worth your time.
Monday, March 12, 2018
"I Hear the Bells"
12 March 2018:
"I hear the bells, they are like emeralds, and
Glints in the night, commas and ampersands
Your moony face, so inaccessible
Your inner mind, so inexpressible" --Mike Doughty, "I Hear the Bells"
I have loved this song since I first heard it on Veronica Mars. With its just-barely-controlled-and-then-it's-not-controlled-at-all energy and its youthful exuberance ("let's go make out/up in the balcony" always makes me smile) expressed through a mature voice, it felt like the right song for the first day of Spring Break. Let's just say that some days--including today--I can relate.
"I hear the bells, they are like emeralds, and
Glints in the night, commas and ampersands
Your moony face, so inaccessible
Your inner mind, so inexpressible" --Mike Doughty, "I Hear the Bells"
I have loved this song since I first heard it on Veronica Mars. With its just-barely-controlled-and-then-it's-not-controlled-at-all energy and its youthful exuberance ("let's go make out/up in the balcony" always makes me smile) expressed through a mature voice, it felt like the right song for the first day of Spring Break. Let's just say that some days--including today--I can relate.
Sunday, March 11, 2018
A Wrinkle in Time
11 March 2018: A Wrinkle in Time feels like an important movie to me. It isn't perfect, but its power is undeniable. After I saw it today, I was catching up on my Entertainment Weekly magazines and came across an interview with the cast (available in video form here). In it, Ava DuVernay puts into words what I was feeling:
"It’s hard to explain how it feels to have Storm say to [costar Levi Miller], Meg say to Calvin, ‘Do you trust me?’ — a little black girl to a Caucasian boy. And he says yes, and he follows her. You’ve never seen that before on film. And so those are transformative images."
"It’s hard to explain how it feels to have Storm say to [costar Levi Miller], Meg say to Calvin, ‘Do you trust me?’ — a little black girl to a Caucasian boy. And he says yes, and he follows her. You’ve never seen that before on film. And so those are transformative images."
Saturday, March 10, 2018
"Something Large and Wild"
10 March 2018: "I realized that sometimes when things are really difficult for people, if you just are there with them, if you just walk beside them, it makes all the difference in the world--that so much of life can be lonely, but if you know that somebody is nearby, it changes everything." --Lynne Cox, explaining what she learned by helping a baby whale who had been separated from his mother. She--as a teenager--swam with the whale for over five hours until it could find its mother.
The people behind the amazing Criminal podcast have recently launched This is Love, which is just well...lovely.
The people behind the amazing Criminal podcast have recently launched This is Love, which is just well...lovely.
Friday, March 9, 2018
Poetry Festival
9 March 2018: Our Sigma Tau Delta chapter hosted a very successful Poetry Festival tonight. We had some local high school students show up (one of our main goals) and lots of people shared their work. I am exhausted as we finally hit Spring Break, but if I had to limp across the finish line, this was a nice way to do it.
Thursday, March 8, 2018
"Little Romance"
8 March 2018:
"Can I have this chance
To be your little romance?
Can I have the stance?
I am in the mood for love.." --Ingrid Michaelson, "Little Romance"
Still sort of dragging from this cold and that surprises me a bit as I thought I'd feel better by now. I mean, I feel much better than I did on Monday, but still... And I've been getting lots of sleep. But my head still feels full and heavy and all that. So..the little ditty quoted above, which always lifts my spirit, was quite welcome when it came on Pandora. I love its unabashed hope and optimism.
"Can I have this chance
To be your little romance?
Can I have the stance?
I am in the mood for love.." --Ingrid Michaelson, "Little Romance"
Still sort of dragging from this cold and that surprises me a bit as I thought I'd feel better by now. I mean, I feel much better than I did on Monday, but still... And I've been getting lots of sleep. But my head still feels full and heavy and all that. So..the little ditty quoted above, which always lifts my spirit, was quite welcome when it came on Pandora. I love its unabashed hope and optimism.
Wednesday, March 7, 2018
"The Foundations of the Earth"
7 March 2018:
"Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said,
Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?
Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me.
Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.
Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?
Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;
When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?" --Job 38:1-7
I taught Randall Kenan's "The Foundations of the Earth" today in my ENGL 360 class. It's a great story and I could write about so many different ideas, but I think I'll just stick to the part above, the excerpt from the book of Job that features prominently in the story and gives it its title. It is a powerful passage: beautifully written, moving, and frustrating. We talked about how Job (like Maggie in Kenan's story) doesn't get the answers he seeks from God, who just sort of shuts him down. Are God's words comforting for Job? Do they frustrate him into silence? We don't know. We can just imagine and imagine what we would do.
"Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said,
Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge?
Gird up now thy loins like a man; for I will demand of thee, and answer thou me.
Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding.
Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it?
Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof;
When the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy?" --Job 38:1-7
I taught Randall Kenan's "The Foundations of the Earth" today in my ENGL 360 class. It's a great story and I could write about so many different ideas, but I think I'll just stick to the part above, the excerpt from the book of Job that features prominently in the story and gives it its title. It is a powerful passage: beautifully written, moving, and frustrating. We talked about how Job (like Maggie in Kenan's story) doesn't get the answers he seeks from God, who just sort of shuts him down. Are God's words comforting for Job? Do they frustrate him into silence? We don't know. We can just imagine and imagine what we would do.
Tuesday, March 6, 2018
How about those teachers?
6 March 2018: I am just in awe of our WV public school teachers who successfully demanded more money--money they absolutely deserved--and somehow managed to get a raise for all state employees (including me). They managed to do what people have said (for years) couldn't be done. Simply put, they are amazing, dedicated, and strong. And I hope they serve as a model for teachers everywhere.
Art appreciation
[Another catch-up post...I blame this cold, which had me in bed earlier than usual...]
6 March 2018: Felt like garbage today (stupid cold) but this impressive artwork gifted to me by the 6 year-old daughter of a student is making my day brighter. Lots going on here (perfect for our discussion of deconstruction!).
6 March 2018: Felt like garbage today (stupid cold) but this impressive artwork gifted to me by the 6 year-old daughter of a student is making my day brighter. Lots going on here (perfect for our discussion of deconstruction!).
Sunday, March 4, 2018
Conversations with myself...
4 March 2018: To be honest, I am dragging today. This cold stinks and I am pretty darn tired. I have fourteen more Annotated Bibliographies to grade (and have had that many since Friday afternoon), but being busy and being sick has really frustrated my efforts. And I was bummed about that. I really wanted to have them done by Monday.
So today I had a conversation with myself. I always impose these ridiculous deadlines on myself to return stuff. Like, I never take a week. Which is crazy. And today I was like, "Who sets those deadlines? And why?" I set them for myself to please myself. That's it. The students don't care too much if they have to wait an extra couple of days. And if the self-imposed deadline no longer fits what I want to do/can do, then I get to change it.
I mean, it's so simple, isn't it? But I had to talk it out. Maybe this is some of the wisdom that comes with being 40?
So today I had a conversation with myself. I always impose these ridiculous deadlines on myself to return stuff. Like, I never take a week. Which is crazy. And today I was like, "Who sets those deadlines? And why?" I set them for myself to please myself. That's it. The students don't care too much if they have to wait an extra couple of days. And if the self-imposed deadline no longer fits what I want to do/can do, then I get to change it.
I mean, it's so simple, isn't it? But I had to talk it out. Maybe this is some of the wisdom that comes with being 40?
2018 Symposium
[Catch-up post #2]
3 March 2018: Shepherd was well represented at the Symposium. A good day.
3 March 2018: Shepherd was well represented at the Symposium. A good day.
Muriale's...
[Catch-up post #1]
But...when we got to Fairmont on Friday night, I took the students to this restaurant we've been to before when we visited the town (Muriale's). And it was kind of lovely. Just a good time, you know?
Thursday, March 1, 2018
More on Keats...
1 March 2018: I walked into my ENGL 311 class feeling a bit crummy. I might have a cold coming on--and I have no time for it. But by the end of the class, my mind was far from any impending crumminess--almost entirely because of the wonderful students and the great work they did with Keats' poems and letters.
I really knew we had hit our stride when we got to the last stanza of "Ode to a Nightingale." After one student read it out loud, I said, "I always find that last sentence so unsettling" And another student jumped right in: "This whole stanza is wild. It goes crazy here." That's the kind of reaction a teacher dreams of. On the surface, there's nothing wild or crazy about that stanza. You have to be really deeply engaged to see it. And they were, so they did.
I suppose it's all a bit meta, too, since in the poem Keats writes about wanting to escape materiality (including sickness) through poetry. For a good hour, I did just that.
I really knew we had hit our stride when we got to the last stanza of "Ode to a Nightingale." After one student read it out loud, I said, "I always find that last sentence so unsettling" And another student jumped right in: "This whole stanza is wild. It goes crazy here." That's the kind of reaction a teacher dreams of. On the surface, there's nothing wild or crazy about that stanza. You have to be really deeply engaged to see it. And they were, so they did.
I suppose it's all a bit meta, too, since in the poem Keats writes about wanting to escape materiality (including sickness) through poetry. For a good hour, I did just that.
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