Fleeting...

15 December 2025: Left Knutti at 4:50 or so and saw the sky looking like this. Felt blessed to see it. By the time I got to my car and turned onto German Street, it was over--just darkening shades of blue left. Made that moment seem even more special. 

Fall 2025 Grading: Done!

14 December 2025: A bit ago, I hit "submit" on the final set of grades for this semester. 

 

As if on cue, by the way, Jo jumped up right after I submitted and collapsed into a little nap (which ended kind of quickly, allowing me to type this). When she did so, I thought, "Yeah, this will do." No chair-dancing this year. Usually there's some sense of happiness associated with this moment, but this time, I'll settle for relief and a bit of comfort and love.

Last one...

13 December 2025: My dad always made sure there were some diet sodas in the fridge when I was in NY. (He made sure everyone had a drink they would enjoy.) These last two visits, he didn't have a chance to prepare, but there were, in fact, just enough to get me through both trips. Today, I took the very last one to drink on the road. 

It's silly because it's so small. But I picture him loading them into the fridge and it's just too much. So many everyday things he'll never do again. Moving though that house these past few days was a kind of surreal I can't describe.

I am back home in WV now; the services are over, the bags are unpacked, and I am working through final exams and papers. Life goes on, but his absence from it is just so sad. 

His legacy...

12 December 2025:

[Catch-up post...]

Rocky Point Beach...

11 December 2025: 

[Catch-up post...]

Cue pathetic fallacy...

Couple of thinkers...

10 December 2025: Rosy cheeks from the start...

Paperwork day...

9 December 2025: Today has been a "paperwork day." Sending lots of emails (for this NEA grant application), grading, and doing what needs to be done to onboard the new admin assistant supporting our NWP site. Trying to get everything done that I can get done before leaving town. It's stressful, but also soothing...and a decent distraction. 

Dad at 18...

8 December 2025: Just look at him!

"The Stone"

7 December 2025: 

"...she dreamed that she had entered a new episode of time, in which she and the stone would become the same through the endless repetition and decay of all things in the universe. Molecules that had existed in her body would be joined with the stone’s molecules, over and over in age after age. Flesh would become stone and stone become flesh, and someday they would meet in the mouth of a bird."

Couldn't have made a better choice of what to listen to on my walk today than Karen Russell reading Louise Erdrich's "The Stone" on The New Yorker Fiction Podcast. 

Saturday...

6 December 2025: Three things on my social calendar today.

1) Shepherdstown Christmas Parade this morning. Fun and sweet as always, though I found myself more emotional than I expected. Everything beautiful and sweet seems so fragile right now.

2) Women's basketball game this afternoon. They lost but they fought hard. And, as I said to Amy, they really seem to like each other, enjoying playing with each other even when the score doesn't go their way.

3) Yet to come, but starting soon: hosting Rachel and Carrie for a pizza and a movie.

Grateful for this community that I get to live in. 

Last day of the semester...

5 December 2025: I can't write about it--too many emotions--but both of my classes gave me cards at the end of class today, packed with lovely messages of thanks and support. 

Time and again, the privilege of teaching these students almost knocks me over. 

"Angel Baby"

4 December 2025: Letting music do the work for me for another day. 

"It's just like heaven, being here with you..."

"Teach Your Children"

3 December 2025: Can hear him singing along with this one when I close my eyes...

Day one...

2 December 2025: Made it through the first 24 hours without him. Spent the day with colleagues, students, and the gang at trivia. 

Everything is so hard and sad.

But so grateful for work that means something and that makes me happy. So grateful for the kind people I spend every Tuesday evening with. 

Blessed, blessed, blessed.  

Dad...

1 December 2025: I am maybe three years old. I am walking through a parking lot at a strip mall, blinking up into the sunlight and looking at my dad. I reach for his outstretched pinkie and wrap my tiny fingers around it. He’s got me and I feel safe and loved. 

Love you, Dad, so much and forever.