"Dancing Backwards in High Heels"

10 January 2018: I first heard about the study discussed in this piece a few days ago and found it both validating and depressing. Because in my bones, I know it is true. And almost all of my female colleagues would agree. And it does get wearying. And it does seem unfair at times. Even my dear "work husband" just doesn't get it. He tries, but he doesn't. And that's not his fault. He has the "good" reaction, which is "I don't understand, but I believe you."

As for the "bad" reaction(s), well, some of them are there in the comments. As always, though, don't read the comments, even though the ones here are relatively tame. But I will talk about the comments a bit: the fact that there are people in them trying their hardest to disprove what so many of know to be true is a further testament to the systemic problem. And it's not just this system, of course.

So yes: it's good to feel seen, even if so many are still trying to say "that's not what we are seeing."

Second "First Day"

9 January 2018: I am teaching five days a week this semester--for the first time in a long time (not counting the fall semesters when I teach one-third of Intro to Women's Studies). The reason for my weird schedule this semester is complicated, but needless to say, I wasn't thrilled. It is one of those "taking one for the team" moments and I am getting a bit weary of that. But ever onward, I guess?

So it was a relief (that shouldn't have surprised me) that the class this afternoon was lovely: a small group of all women, each of whom I've had in class before, each of whom I am happy to see again. I even made them sit through a boring lecture on the Restoration and Eighteenth Century and they listened and applied what I said to a short poem we read. These are those kinds of students.

Here's what I am taking from this: teaching every day will absolutely challenge my ability to get my research/writing done as it will make it harder to set aside blocks of time. And it will even make it harder to get service obligations done. It will just be different and I tend to hate "different." But I am also realizing that it might be a tough-ish semester for other reasons, so maybe I ought to be happy that my TRs will now include at least 75 minutes a day in the classroom and, as I wrote about yesterday, that's almost always a good thing.

A little warm-up...

7 January 2018: It's still pretty cold out, but just a bit warmer than it has been. With the Sunday blues kicking in, those few extra degrees of warmth made an evening walk possible. (Yesterday was just too cold.) And I needed that walk in the worst way. The pretty sunset helped, too.

Record Breaker...

4 January 2018: I've been to two Shepherd women's basketball games this season and at both games Morgan Arden, a senior, broke records. In the game I saw just before Christmas, not only did she win the game with a buzzer-beating three-pointer (one of the most thrilling live sports moments I've ever seen), but she also became the all-time leading scorer in Shepherd history. It was amazing.

Tonight, she scored 40 points and broke the Shepherd record for most points in a game. It, too, was amazing. My favorite part, though, was watching her face tonight as she realized how "on" she was, sinking basket after basket (so many from downtown, too!), hitting nothing but net. I leaned over to Amy and said, "Look how much fun she's having." But it was so charming because she was also trying to keep a game-face on. I am sure it's a night she'll remember for a long time. And I'll remember how much fun it was to watch her having fun.

366 good things...

31 December 2016: A year ago, I set out on this (relatively modest) goal of posting about "one good thing" per day. And--with this post--I've done it. Plus, there's a lovely circularity to the project as December 31's good thing also involved someone who figured large in January 1, 2016's post. So here it is: the last "one good thing" of 2016 was playing this game with Jane and her family as we waited for the new year to roll in.

I am not alone in seeing 2016 as a pretty rough year in a lot of ways. And I am really fumbling for some optimism to get 2017 off on the right foot, but this little project helped me in the ways I hoped it would, so I am glad to have done it.

Now I need to think if I can/will do another blogging goal for the year. I have a couple of ideas, but nothing concrete yet. I am going to sleep on it again and, if I decide on a daily thing, I will do some catch up posts.

"I told the truth in my sister’s obituary, so that others might choose to live"

30 December 2016: This piece in Washington Post speaks to a truth: when someone dies to suicide, families often don't want to talk about it. But doing so does a disservice to both the lost loved one and others who struggle with depression or addiction or some other mental illness. Silence means more people die. So yeah, this piece is today's good thing, especially this part, which I try to share whenever I can: "Here is the truth: You have value. You have worth. You are loved. Trust the voices of those who love you. Trust the enormous chorus of voices that say only one thing: You matter. Depression lies. We must tell the truth."

Bonus good thing: Believe everything you've heard about Fleabag, the terrific show you can stream on Amazon Prime. I finally watched it all yesterday and today (there are only 6 episodes, all less than 30 minutes). It's hilarious, so well-acted, and ultimately a very profound meditation on grief.

Blueberry pancakes

29 December 2016: It's quite nice to start the day with two delicious blueberry pancakes from Betty's Restaurant, but it was even nicer to do so while catching up with two of my favorite former students, one of whom is now the city editor at a local paper (moving up so quickly!) and the other who is home for the holidays from her position with AmeriCorps.

"The Individualism and Fist-Pumping of George Michael's 'Freedom '90'"

28 December 2016: I've written before about my love for NPR's Linda Holmes--and I do think we'd be friends if we met (does that sound stalker-ish?). She is such a talented writer, especially of course about pop culture and I delight in reading her work. So it is no surprise that this piece on George Michael's "Freedom '90" is just terrific. And today's good thing.

A deep bench

27 December 2016: My trivia team was down to just two members for tonight's game--just my friend Amy and I. Everyone else is out of town for the holidays. So I called upon my friends Anna and Josh and they joined us for the night. And having them play with us was delightful. We did pretty well (tied for second place with a bunch of other teams) and, more importantly, just played a fun, relaxing game. And it's good to know our bench of trivia players is a bit deeper than we thought!

"Freedom"

26 December 2016: I have always adored George Michael and always loved the heck out of this song. In honor of George, I sang my heart out as I drove back from NY today (even more than usual).

Awkward Family Photos Game

25 December 2016: This game, a gift from Erin and Eric, made a nice Christmas Day even nicer. We had a blast playing it.

As good as we can get...

24 December 2016: Here is the best shot I was able to get of all six grandkids. Like herding cats. But still, we'll call this the day's good thing.

Walking with Dad

23 December 2016: After driving up to NY for the holidays, I was a bit stir crazy on Friday and wanted to get some steps in. So I drove up to the track at the local high school and my dad came along. It had gotten a bit cold that evening, but not too bad and the night was clear and bright. He could only do about three laps, but it was nice to walk with him, just the two of us.

"A Small Needful Fact"

22 December 2016: Searching for another Ross Gay poem ("Sorrow Is Not My Name") led me to this poem, "A Small Needful Fact," and it stopped me in my tracks. Sometimes when I think about Eric Garner, I think about my brother. They were, at the end of their lives, similar in size and suffering from breathing issues. I remember my mother saying that if Ryan had been held down like that, he might have died, too. And, like so many black men who have recently died in police shootings, my (white, obviously) brother struggled with mental illness and addiction issues. (I am not saying that about Garner.) I wonder if we might have lost him much sooner had he been black, especially when he got into trouble.

And then along comes this poem which tells me something I didn't know about Garner--that he, like my brother, worked in landscaping. He, too, planted things in the earth. I don't know how to tie this all together in some elegant, profound way. I suspect that there isn't a way to do so...something about connection despite differences, but also about the protection that privilege offers... I don't know. But I like this poem for making me think about all of this as I sit here tonight.

“The Height to Be Superb Humanity”: Walt Whitman’s Christmas Greeting to a New Democracy

21 December 2016: My former colleague (whose work I've linked to before) does it again with this wonderful piece on Whitman's Christmas poem to Brazil. Whitman has been on my mind even more than usual (which is a lot) these days, so this essay spoke to me. Some highlights:

 And this is perhaps the big nugget of spiritual truth at the center of Whitman’s secular Christmas greeting: Meaningful participation in a self-governing society requires the same things of us that the spiritual Kingdom of God requires: loving our enemies, turning the other cheek, and doing unto others as we would have them do unto us. And it also requires charity, or the belief that our political opponents are, like us, decent human beings doing their best with limited understanding–and not fundamentally flawed human beings who are crazy, stupid, or evil....

...in other words, love thy political opponents.

All of this runs against the non-superb elements of human nature. But democracy calls us to be better than ordinary. So, too, did the one whose birth we celebrate on Christmas Day. He taught us to reject what was natural, and therefore easy, and to undergo a mighty change of heart. He taught us to seek first the Kingdom of God. And he showed us that the Kingdom of God was within us. And, perhaps most importantly, He taught us that there was no distinction we need to notice between God and other people.

Lin-Manuel Miranda reads Oscar Wao

20 December 2016: I had no idea that this happened, but it makes me want to buy the audiobook.

Carpool Karaoke: "All I Want for Christmas"

19 December 2016: This is so much fun!

"The Hilarious World of Depression"

18 December 2016: Just took a long (and cold!) walk through my neighborhood while listening to a what seems to be a great new podcast (which I heard about from "Pop Culture Happy Hour"): "The Hilarious World of Depression." The first episode features "Wait, Wait"'s Peter Sagal. Definitely worth a listen!

Do you wanna build a snow globe?

17 December 2016: Today's good thing is this super-cool snow globe I made at Anna and Josh's house tonight. That's Jayne from Firefly chilling in there. Pretty darn cool.

"You're Welcome"

16 December 2016: Today's good thing is this catchy song from Moana, which I took Krista to see today.