"the word 'terrorism' comes as close as any..."

22 May 2023: In No Visible Bruises: What We Don't Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us, Rachel Louise Snyer writes of the inadequacy of the term "domestic violence." She explains, "I have, for years, tried myself to coin a better term, and I've yet to conceive of anything, though I believe the word 'terrorism' comes as close as any to what such a relationship feels like from the inside" (17).

Snyder's book is this coming year's Common Reading selection, and I started it today at the vet while waiting for BabyCat to get her bandage changed. I had just read some sentences about an abuser buying the gun that he would use later that day to kill his wife, his two children, and himself--a gun he shouldn't have been able to buy. And then I found myself overhearing a conversation between a client and a tech who knew each other well and talked in that comfortable way friends do. I only overheard bits and pieces, but she said things like, "he came by and terrorized me again on Friday" and "he can get a gun at any time." The tech asked if she called the police and she said, "What for? They never do anything unless it's their family involved." They talked as if it were an everyday, common occurence--but it clearly is. 

"Terrorized," she said. More than once. 

Everyday, all around us. This won't be the easiest Common Reading, but it sure is necessary. 

Work Cited

Snyer, Rachel Louis. No Visible Bruises: What We Don't Know About Domestic Violence Can Kill Us. Bloomsbury Publishing, 2019.