"The Garden We Share"

30 November 2019: “… a joyless world is one in which we do not acknowledge or engage each other’s pain, you know?” –Ross Gay

I listened to this episode of the Poetry Off the Shelf podcast today while doing some late fall/early winter yard work. Honestly, this is one of my least favorite chores every year—cold and depressing. But listening to this episode which is about, among other things, gardening, joy, and human connection, made the work go faster.

Home again...

29 November 2019: Made it home by 3:30 today, which felt pretty good. Unpacked, got a good walk in, decorated inside the house (mostly) for Christmas (need to have it done this weekend since it's the only time I'll have to do it before the Sigma Tau holiday party on Friday), and got some other work done. A long, if kind of quiet day, with lots of time to do all kinds of thinking...

Thanksgiving...

28 November 2019: Three-year old niece just told me to "stop being a drama queen." Happy Thanksgiving, I guess?

Gratitude...

27 November 2019: Perspective always helps, so this was a welcome sight on Facebook today.

Reflection season...

26 November 2019: Walk along the C&O today. Water was so still that the reflections were near perfect. Good space for working through Big Thoughts.

"Corrie"

25 November 2019: “She gets up and quickly dresses and walks through every room in the house, introducing the walls and the furniture to this new idea. A cavity everywhere, most notably in her chest.” –Alice Munro, “Corrie”

Listened to this story today, read by Margaret Atwood, on the New Yorker Fiction Podcast. It kind of blew me away. The quiet revelation at the end. The sense of a profound shift in what you thought to be true (reflected in the passage above). The little details that pay off again and again. What a treat. And what a treat to listen to Atwood and Deborah Treisman talk about the piece. Atwood isn’t afraid to resist readings or interpretations she doesn’t like. There’s something refreshing about that.

"November"

24 November 2019:

"More welcome than voluptous gales
This keen, crisp air, as conscience clear:
November breathes no flattering tales;—
The plain truth-teller of the year,
Who wins her heart, and he alone,
Knows she has sweetness all her own." --Lucy Larcom, "November"

Very pleased to see Lucy Larcom, my old buddy (so to speak), featured in today's Poem-a-Day email. On my walk today, I found myself thinking similar thoughts about the beauty of this month.

Kelly and Charlie's Wedding...

[Catch-up post...]

23 November 2019: Had a great time celebrating Kelly and Charlie's wedding. To see them both so happy...it was quite moving.

Made it!

22 November 2019: Well, we did it: made it to Thanksgiving Break during this, one of the hardest semesters of my career at Shepherd. Whew!

And Friday was actually kind of awesome. Taught three terrific classes: The Awakening in one, "Sexy" in another, and "Song of Myself" in the third. I was feeling it all. (My fourth class, Bible as Literature, didn't meet--we've been doing paper conferences instead.) And right now I feel--temporarily--caught up. I can breathe a bit.

So the break starts on a good note...

"Season of Doubt"

21 November 2019: "Faith, like wintering-over carrots, still lives even in our winters. God still acts and nurtures even when we cannot. Doubt and questioning draw us into a deeper relationship with God. God can take it, and God will carry us through the winter."

Finding such comfort in the words above, from a column by the fantastic Bishop Eaton.

"Friendly reminder..."

20 November 2019: Though I am very grateful that Shepherd is taking such initiatives, an email with “a friendly reminder about the active shooter training” taking place today sure is a depressing reminder of our dark reality. The “friendly” is so quietly devastating. Again: no slight/shade toward the organizers. They are doing their very best in our broken world and I am so appreciative. (And let's not debate this--there's nothing to debate about what I saying here.)

Boundaries...

19 November 2019: Had just a bit of time today and was able to attend a portion of the "Mental Health Summit" held on campus. One of my favorite people on campus (on the planet?), Rhonda from Counseling Services, talked about relationship challenges our students might be facing and how to cultivate healthy relationships. So much, she explained, is about boundaries. Here's what I want to remember, for myself and others, in moments where we need to be honest: "We need to value ourselves enough to ride out those few seconds of discomfort to take care of ourselves."

"Places I've Never Been"

18 November 2018: Monday got rough with a long and tough Senate meeting. After I got home and took a long walk, I started grading papers and just felt uneasy. Then for some reason, this song came to mind, so I gave it a listen.

"Neon Moon"

17 November 2019: Moody and kind of blue Sunday night, so new this version of a classic seems appropriate.

What happened here?

16 November 2019: Spotted on my walk to the post office. What happened here? Peak-Shepherdstown crime scene?

Friday vibes...

15 November 2019: Since Sunday, I've been on campus working before 7:00 every day. Except for Sunday and Tuesday, when I left by 3 or 4, I've been getting home after 7:00. It's been exhausting. But this old banger came on Pandora this morning and gave me a bit of life to power me through the rest of the day (I hope?). Also hoping for an escape by 4:30...

"I have called you friends"

14 November 2019: “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.” --John 15: 11-17

Reading the Gospel of John this morning in preparation for tomorrow’s Bible as Literature class. Though I am tired and stressed, I am grateful for the quiet of this morning and the time to read the words above. I find myself moved by the Jesus that emerges in these pages: a man of peace, friendship, justice, sacrifice, and above all, love. None of this is new to anyone who has grown up in the church, but being reminded again—having the chance to read the words and be assured that Jesus is my friend and that he calls us to a life of love—is a welcome experience when times are hard.

#FreeQuilty

13 November 2019: Pretty exhausted and overwhelmed and all that, but Carrie told me about this story today and it is an instant mood-lifter. You are an inspiration, Quilty.

A whale of a proposal...

12 November 2019: Grading critical essay proposals from my upper-division students and this sentence, from the annotated bibliography section of a proposal about the book of Jonah, has made my morning: "Haupt delivers a surprising amount of logistics about whales and sharks and their ability to swallow people."  On a day when I am feeling a bit stressed and overwhelmed, I am extra-appreciative of this silly mood-lifter.

"Poor Joanna"

11 November 2019: "She was full o' feeling, and her troubles hurt her more than she could bear. I see it all now as I couldn't when I was young.” --Mrs. Fosdick on "Poor Joanna" in The Country of the Pointed Firs by Sarah Orne Jewett

I am working my way through this amazing little book with my ENGL 346 class and today find myself moved all over again by Jewett's careful and sensitive creation of characters like Joanna (who never actually appears in the text's "present"--she is just someone the other characters remember). I love what Mrs. Fosdick expresses here: the understanding and increased compassion that can come with growing older, especially for people who seem destined for great trials and sadness.

Dr. Sleep and balance...

10 November 2019: Got a very good night's sleep in my own bed on Saturday night. (That's my kind of Dr. Sleep.) Spent a good six hours working in my office on campus this morning. Still had (and have) so much to get done. This week is going to be rough.

But Amy and I made a plan to see a movie in the afternoon and we stuck to it. So off to Dr. Sleep we went. (A pretty good movie, by the way.) Came home, cooked dinner, and took a walk. Now watching my silly CW girl-power super-hero shows. Have a few more things to grade, but it should be okay, at least for tonight.

Not bad for balance on a Sunday.

Rocked it...

9 November 2019: We rocked our conference presentation today. Always a good feeling!

MAPACA, Day 2

8 November 2019: Was entirely delighted to find my old pal Aaron's name on the program. I got to hear his really great paper. Spoiler alert: he's still super smart.

MAPACA 2019

7 November 2019: In Pittsburgh for a couple of days to present a paper at MAPACA. It feels good--if a bit anxiety-producing--to get away for a bit, but so far, I've heard some great presentations and have gotten some inspiration for a couple of projects in the hopper.

Hoping to get out and about into the city a bit more tomorrow. So far, so good.

I mean, right?

6 November 2019: "I was interested in the sudden appearance of demons." --a student in my ENGL 402: Bible as Literature class today, the second day discussing the Gospel of Matthew. She ain't wrong, but it made me laugh.

Overheard in the hallway...

5 November 2019: "So wait...that bitch can cook pasta?" --a student in the hallway, talking to three of her peers about some kitchen device.

It's another day where I am feeling quite a bit of stress, but hearing that made me laugh and for that, I am grateful.

"The American Conversation"

4 November 2019: "It's not about what people call you. It's what you answer to." --Donna Brazile on Shepherd's campus tonight, sharing some advice she received from her mother when she was a child.

This event was the first in a series called "The American Conversation" sponsored by a new institute on campus.

"This Amazing, Troubling Book"

3 November 2019: "The source of my unease reading this amazing, troubling book now seems clear; an imperfect coming to terms with three matters Twain addresses—Huck Finn’s estrangement, soleness and morbidity as an outcast child; the disproportionate sadness at the center of Jim’s and his relationship; and the secrecy in which Huck’s engagement with (rather than escape from) a racist society is necessarily conducted. It is also clear that the rewards if my effort to come to terms have been abundant. My alarm, aroused by Twain’s precise rendering of childhood’s fear of death and abandonment, remains--as it should. It has been extremely worthwhile slogging through Jim’s shame and humiliation to recognize the sadness, the tragic implications at the center of his relationship with Huck. My fury at the maze of deceit, the risk of personal harm that a white child is forced to negotiate in a race-inflected society, is dissipated by the exquisite uses to which Twain puts that maze, that risk." --Toni Morrison, on Huck Finn

I re-read this remarkable piece today, in preparation for class later this week. There is so much to admire here, from Morrison's impeccable close reading to the way she melds the personal and the academic and--what really stood out to me on this reading--her ability to find "rewards" in such a problematic and complicated novel. She is such a model for what it means to be an engaged, critical, charitable, and open reader.

This will do...

2 November 2019: Today included a really fun Open House at Shepherd's Agricultural Innovation Center, a women's volleyball game (Senior Day--and they won), and a movie in the evening. I also managed to get a decent amount of work done. I still feel like I have so much to do, but I am telling myself that it will all get done--and I know I will.

So yeah...seems that November is off to a good start in terms of balance.

Project Balance: November Edition?

1 November 2019: Left campus by 3:30 today (after getting there at 7:00 a.m.). Went to a movie, got a new phone (finally!), had dinner. Felt slightly anxious about it all most of the time, but also felt good. So there's that?