Fall Break!

15 October 2025: I've got work to do, but I am grateful that we've made it to Fall Break. Catching my breath, getting some rest, getting some little projects done. It all sounds good to me.

You don't know until you are there...

14 October 2025: Spent a lot of today revisiting and chopping down my SSAWW paper. I finished a decent draft over the summer, but then set it aside until today. (I had planned for 20 minutes, but I am on a panel of four, so I needed to chop, chop, chop.)

Last weekend, I sent the session chair the information he requested, including an abstract. 

Reading the paper today, I realized that abstract doesn't really fit the paper. It's too broad, too generic. It doesn't say what the paper is actually about. But of course that's because I wrote it before I wrote the essay. 

So, I just emailed him with a new version.

This is a good lesson for my students: you shouldn't waste too much time on introductions or an exact thesis early on. You don't know what you are going to argue until you make the argument. Then you revise, revise, revise.

Feeling pretty good about it, but it is a weird little essay. 

Never fails me...

13 October 2025: Since I first read it in eleventh grade and it forever changed the way I felt about what a novel could do, The Scarlet Letter has never failed me. Today, in a tag-team operation with my students, it delivered 50 minutes of the absolute joy that is being in the classroom. My eyes still feel puffy and my head still feels stuffy from yesterday's tears, but I feel more restored and renewed. 

Good Boy

12 October 2025: Was not expecting an indie horror movie to send me into tears that haven't entirely stopped hours after I saw it. 

To be clear, Good Boy is a heck of a movie (and only 73 minutes!). But the plot (spoilers) involving a beloved dog watching his owner, a haunted and sick man, take his own life, with his sister finding the body...well, when I saw that was where it going, the tears just started. 

I felt it in my whole body. Even as I write this six hours later, I am crying a bit. 

Ryan would have turned 51 this past Thursday. 

He's been gone for over a decade. 

Most days, as I've written about, the good memories ride side-by-side with the bad. 

It's been a long time since the grief has hit me like this. So raw and just so sad. My mind is going to the saddest places--thinking about that last day and the aftermath. 

It's humbling. You think you are past it, but no.

I felt bad about being so upset and bumming out poor Amy. When I dropped her off, I said I was sorry again. Then I realized she's such a decent person and that she was more concerned than someone who need an apology. So I said, "It's okay. It's a good thing to grieve." 

I think I was thinking about this passage from Amy Tan's book that I posted about last week. 

Have had a bit of a headache and jaw ache from the emotion of it all day, but at one point, I laid down on my bed and listened to "Better Together," to think about Ryan and Sugie. And me and Jo and BabyCat. I cried some more. 

It's a good thing to grieve and remember that it comes from love. And that love goes on. 

Skipping it...

11 October 2025: Decided to skip a work-related event today and, oh my goodness, it feels so good. This Saturday is about 100 times better than it would have been if I had gone. Chilling with the girls, watching some TV, cleaning the house, and getting some other work done. It rocks. 

Good to remember Project Balance.

"You need me, I need you..."

10 October 2025: "There’s something about loving someone else and taking care of someone that makes the hierarchy of the world feel much smaller and more focused—and I do take everything so seriously and I am so engaged—but there’s a relief in coming home and saying, ‘You need me, I need you. Let’s lean in together.’" --Zach Sanders on this week's episode of Vibe Check, talking about his life now that he's adopted a dog. 

Listened to this on my walk this morning and couldn't agree with the sentiment more. It sums up how I feel about having Veronica and Jo in my life. 

Multitudes...

9 October 2025: The midterm exam prompt that gives me the most joy semester after semester in ENGL 204 is when I ask them to talk about a text that connects to something in their lives outside of the classroom. Here's some gold from an exam I graded today, where a student talks about "Song of Myself" and "contain[ing] multitudes": 

"Sometimes I feel like I can never pin down an idea of who I am to people, but I am large so of course it would be hard to put me in just one box." 

Looking out for me since 1999...

8 October 2025: I had a long overdue catch-up session with my dear friend Gretchen today. This was ostensibly to discuss me taking over for her as an assistant editor at Studies in American Humor. 

This is a few year after I took over for her as a contributing editor there. 

And over a decade since she helped me publish an article in a special issue she edited. 

And over 26 years after I met her in the very first graduate class I took back in 1999. 

She was much further along in her graduate work then--already a Ph.D. student, almost done with her coursework. I was 22 and...terrified? 

She was kind to me and looked out for me and has been there for me ever since. A friendship like that is a gift like none other. 

"Hey, Boo..."

7 October 2025: The public library invited me to lead a discussion of To Kill a Mockingbird today for Banned Books Week. To tell the truth, I was a bit nervous: wasn't sure of the audience, how'd I'd navigate that format, etc. But I think it went well and I had a great time.

What a pleasure it was to re-read this book, which has gotten more problematic for me since I first read it, but remains such a rich text. And that line in this post's title? The way it made me tear up and sob as I read it last week--even when I saw it coming! 

Jackson

6 November 2025: What to say when a former student sends you the kindest, most moving, out of the clear blue email of thanks just when you need it most? What is there to say but "thank you," both to him and to the Lord for the unexpected gift. 

Father of the Bride: Part 2

5 October 2025: Just caught the last 30 minutes of this movie, one of my favorites. Could not get enough of it when I was young. Man, it still works for me even as, just as when I was younger, its melancholy pulls at me. This closing song? Makes me smile and makes me want to cry.

The Backyard Bird Chronicles

4 October 2025: "It is good to mourn and wish it weren't so." --Amy Tan, The Backyard Bird Chronicles

Started listening to this one today while getting chores done. So far, it's beautiful reminder of the pains and rewards (linked so often) of paying attention to what's around us. 

"Message for Jim in Syria [Fall fell wind-wise]"

3 October 2025: My goodness--this poem, which I read this morning, has been on my mind all day. It's achingly specific for this poet, but also speaks to so many thoughts in my mind lately, especially as fall edges its way more fully into this corner of the world. 

Early October blooms...

2 October 2025: From my walk this morning down by Rumsey Park. These little purple beauties make me smile.

Wednesday night ramblings...

1 October 2025: Thought I might be home by 5:30 or so today. Turned out to be off by 90 minutes or so and rolled in a bit after 7:00. That's a bummer, but once I got home and did the evening's chores, I was able to unwind--as much as one can while watching the Yankees play. They won the second game of this Wild Card Series, so now it's all tied up.

Some more highlights from a shorter evening of chilling than I anticipated: 

Watching BabyCat burn off energy and get her 10-year-old version of zoomies on, which always makes me smile. 

Realizing the nights are getting colder. 

Deciding that the last "work" item on my list can wait until tomorrow and feeling very okay with that (esp. as my brain falls more asleep with every letter I type).

Realizing I am very lucky.