Her little face...

6 November 2024: I am not sure I actually slept last night. Just achingly sad--emotionally, intellectually, and even physically painful. When I finally sat up and turned on the lights at just after 5:00, there was Veronica sitting the hallway, looking in at me. I don't always find here there; most mornings, she either moves before I get up and see her or I just find her downstairs waiting.

"Good morning, BabyCat!" I said--and instantly welled up. 

This weird little cat and her weird little sister are just two sources of love and joy and hope that will keep me going. And I am so glad whatever goes on in her head had her planted right there to remind me that I will keep going. 

I could write so much more, but am telling myself that this is enough: her little face and what it meant and will mean in the days and years ahead. 

We've just go to...

5 November 2024: 

"Do you think we'll be okay?" a player at trivia asked me tonight as we headed home.

"What choice do we have?" I answered her. 

That's the hope I am holding onto, no matter what. We got through four years of him before and if we have to, well, we'll have to do it again. 

"To Ed"

4 November 2024: I realized on tonight's rewatch of "To Ed," the finale of Season 2 of Somebody, Somewhere, that the show encapsulates so much of what makes me love America. 

It gives us a world of flawed, beautiful, ordinary, extraordinary people, making mistakes but doing their best. It's about the families we are born into and the families we make--and how they sustain us and strain us and make us better. It's about what it means to have and live a good life. It's about how to be alone and how to be with others. It's about how to go on after unimaginable loss. It's about how values aren't "small town" or "city," but ways of living and relating to and caring for each other. 

After a long day at work, I hit "play" with so much weighing on my mind. And as I watched, I laughed out loud, teared up, cheered to myself, and just felt warm and full of love. 

Perfect Election Day Eve programming. 

(The completion of my rewatch also means I can now start the third and final season of this perfect miracle of a show.) 

Valentine

3 November 2024: Finally listened to "Valentine," the 100th episode of This is Love, an episode I knew was about the death of Phoebe's mother (whose first name gives the episode its title). Knowing and loving This is Love and Criminal the way I do, I knew it was going to be powerful episode so I wanted to honor it with my undivided attention and be in the right mindset when I listened. 

I am so glad I did. It's riveting and funny and sad and beautiful from start to finish. 

Also saw the Theater program's production of Our Town today and made a ton of progres on The Bog Wife, this month's book club selection. So, even more than usual, lots of Big Thoughts about life, death, and what it all means on this autumn Sunday.

High-tech and so absurd...

2 November 2024: Cat ownership in 2024, I guess: watching this (cute) dumb-dumb, sitting on the stove, waiting for her dumb toy to charge. (The charger is plugged in behind the toy.) 

And yes: I had to purchase a rechargeable battery and charger set for this toy, a Christmas gift "for me" from Amy last year.

Just wrapped around their furry little paws...

30 years ago...

1 November 2024: Social media tells me that this album--Nirvana's MTV Unplugged in New York--was released thirty years ago today. (The show was recorded the previous November.) Thirty years...my goodness.