Jo at 4

10 August 2026: Lil Soups for everyone today as we celebrated Jo turning 4! I woke up with her sleeping hard by my legs. On days like these, when I wake up sad, it means so much to feel her there.

Here's a photo that summarizes the big excitement in her life lately: being intrigued and intimidated by and sometimes angry at her new housemate. Really, she's been remarkably patient and easy-going about Annie's arrival, as has BabyCat. Very proud of them both. (Proud of Annie, too, but really hoping she gives up her aggressive colonizer attitude soon!)

There at 4:30 a.m.

9 August 2026: Made it back to WV by 2:00. 

Keep thinking about the wonder that is hospice. Called them at 4:30 this morning because my mom had a fever. There they were, ready to tell me and Yasmine what to do, what to look for, and to tell us to "get some rest." I can't even think about that kind of beautiful service without crying. 

As for the time between that call and when I left four hours later...it was like an alternate reality. Quiet. Profound. Ordinary. Sad. Normal. Just sat with her and thought and thought and thought and prayed. 

Saturday morning at Rocky Point Beach

8 August 2026: Back yet again. Took my walk early this morning as it's hot and humid here. 

The guy heading out in his kayak reminded me so much of Ryan that it almost took my breath away.

Another surreal day.

I leave tomorrow morning and thinking about how that will feel is almost beyond my imagination.

Yasmine

7 August 2026: Tonight, I watched my mom's caregiver feed her an entire Glucerna drink with a teaspoon.  In the midst of so much sadness, it was beautiful to witness.

Not even a year ago...

6 August 2026: Headed up to NY tomorrow for what will be a very hard visit. 

I was scrolling through blog entries from last August just to be sure I was right about Jo's birthday. (I was; it's on Monday.)

Felt my breath catch when I scolled by this post. Less than a year ago. 

Surreal.

She's home...

5 August 2026: For the first time since early June, my mom is home in her own bed tonight. So grateful.

Not Quite a Ghost, again...

4 August 2026: I am trying to get as much day-to-day course prep done ahead of time as possible, which is why I have spent the past couple of days rereading Not Quite a Ghost. I am teaching it for the first time, including it in the Young Adult Lit class. It's been fun working through it again through the lens of teaching and I find myself looking forward to diving into it with my students in October.

Comfort

3 August 2026:

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am." John 14: 1-3. 

My favorite superhero...

2 August 2026: Spider-Man remains my favorite superhero and I really enjoyed Brand New Day today. A kid from New York who wants to the right thing...

It was also good to get out for a bit after a couple of mostly solo and quiet days here. I just wasn't up for "cheap" society, to paraphrase Walden a bit. I even skipped a fundraiser last night that I had already bought a ticket for...but I just couldn't do it. 

Too sad. Too in my own head. 

But also okay. 

And (I think?) maybe more okay because I didn't go. I gave myself permission to stay home and just be. 

Then Spider-Man was a great way to get out for a bit. 

One day at a time...

"After My First Breakup, My Father Writes His First Email"

1 August 2026: This poem, by Emily Jungmin Yoon, has been in my inbox since it arrived via the Poem-a-Day email on Tuesday. I keep coming back to it. 

These last three stanzas, man...

How easy it was to forget this man’s sensitivity,
his love for music, that he took saxophone lessons,

             coming home to an unlit apartment.
             A taciturn man, who sings alone.
             Who, when years later asked 

what instrument he likes listening to the most,
said, the human voice.

Banana bliss...

31 July 2026: Yesterday, Jo provided some much needed light through her essential Jo-ness. Today, it was BabyCat's turn, showing off her glorious fluff while passed out after playing with the old catnip-filled banana. 

Dramatic snoozing...

30 July 2026: Another day about which, boringly and depressingly, I feel compelled to say that so much is bad and sad and hard. Grateful for the light that shines through, including from this silly, dramatic bundle of chaos and love.

Hadestown

29 July 2026: Got a chance to see the filmed version of Hadestown just before it ended its theatrical run. Really enjoyed it and found myself thinking about all the Orpheus-themed works I've encountered over the years. Really is the summer of being grateful for your early training in mythology. 

Caught her mid-prance...

28 July 2026: This cat loves to prance. I always think she looks like a cat ballerina when she walks.

"This Isn't Final"

27 July 2026: 

"Don't give up on all that you love

Just because it's getting hard

And don't give up on the person you've become

Just because it's getting dark" --Lily Kershaw, "This Isn't Final"