Back in The Pitt...

7 January 2026: In preparation for Season 2 dropping tomorrow, I am rewatching Season One of The Pitt. Just as with the first watch, this show--somehow--gives me such comfort and hope. Decent, compentent people who care and do their best. Everything is so dark right now--a violent, reckless government with so much blood on its hands--and helplessness and hopelessness are right there, calling us towards them. Art like this show, though, reminds us of the light. 

"Elephant"

6 January 2026: Traditionally, I listen to New Yorker Fiction Podcast episodes while putting up and taking down the Christmas lights. I don't think I did in November when I put them up for this season, but that was a surreal afternoon. Regardless, I kept the tradition today when the lights came down, listening to Miriam Toews read Raymond Carver's "Elephant." 

What an interesting story this one is! It made me laugh and feel stressed. And then it takes a beautiful turn. And, like everything lately, it made me think of my dad. 

Syllabus pieces...

5 January 2026: For the first time in my career, I am teaching a class on (just) American women writers--ENGL 407, a seminar. Early on, I decided to focus on short stories. But my planning got behind schedule (even in my head, where I do a lot of planning) with my dad's illness and death. When I thought about the class--tried to plan it in my head--all that showed up was stress and anxiety about planning it.

About ten days ago, I sat down, went through my book, and made a big list of every story I might include. Then I took a stack of old business cards (that they gave me when I was on the Foundation board of directors) and wrote a story on the back of each one. Laid them out on my desk and started moving pieces, making piles, messing with categories. 

Here's the photo evidence of that stack--the thing that really got the process going. I think it's a cool artifact, a reminder that syllabus writing is writing. Revising, moving things around, deleting, adding...

The folded pieces are category names--which also shifted and changed. The stack with the green clip are the "bonus" stories--pieces not on the syllabus, but each student will need to pick one to write about and respond to in a short paper.  

Eventually, the process worked--or worked well enough. Schedule is crafted. Syllabus is done. Feels pretty good. 

Three years...

4 January 2025: Hard to believe Jo March came home three years ago today. She is still so playful (and bad), fun, sweet, and cuddly. She has been such a blessing ever since. She and Veronica keep me grounded and bring me happiness when I need it. 

Just like that day three years ago, she remains hard to photograph at times--unless she's planning a pounce or feeling really sleepy. The photo below is evidence of the latter. 

Jane Time

3 January 2026: Hung out with Jane for the first time since June. We made candles, had lunch, exchanged both birthday and Christmas gifts, and just had a great time.

The Housemaid

2 January 2026: In another step/stumble towards normalcy, saw this fun, silly movie today and enjoyed it quite a bit. 

2026...

1 January 2026: Very quiet New Year's Day, but I can't complain about that. Spending lots of time with my girl.

I can complain about the word Merriam-Webster gave me, though. I keep joking that it better only be in reference to how my enemies are feeling.

Donut Drop!

31 December 2025: Carrie, James, and Charlotte invited me to join them at the Hagerstown Donut Drop this evening. I hadn't been before and now that they are holding it at the minor league ballpark, it is so completely up my alley. Free donuts? Getting to walk on the field? Fireworks? And the drop happens at 7:00 (home before 9)? Sign me up. 

Tuesday evening mood...

30 December 2025: Heading to trivia in a bit. It's cold out there and I am really not feeling like going. Worked in my office (still so cold!) most of the day and made some good progress. Now, being home, I just want to stay put.

I say this knowing that when I get there, I will have a good time and be grateful to see everyone. 

This is, I think, a symptom of this strange time of year. Connected to that, last week's game seems ages ago. Time feels extra broken every year during this week. Winter weather and early darkness just makes it harder.

Still, in about 40 minutes, I'll put on my coat, get in the car, and drive on over to Rumsey (where it's actually always a bit warm). And for a couple of hours, things will be just fine. 

Day at the office...

29 December 2025: Got to campus just after 8:00 and got home just after 4:00. Along the way, I took a walk and ran to Sheetz for lunch, but otherwise, I just hunkered down and got stuff done. 

It's always a bit darkly hilarious that campus is low-key hostile this time of year. The heat is turned way down and it's a ghost town. I always feel like I am channeling my inner Bob Cratchit, wishing for a bit more coal in the stove. 

Made decent progress on some fronts, but not as much as I would have liked on others. 

Will do it all over again tomorrow. 

Still, as I count the days left until things start up again, I think I've got this. 

Reading, thank-you notes, and course prep...

28 December 2025: Started the day off finishing my book club's latest novel, Food Person. I didn't love it, but I am glad to have read it and I am excited to talk about it with Kaitlyn and Cory next week. (We had to reschedule.) 

Next, I knocked out my thank-you notes. Some are for folks who sent flowers or other gifts when my dad died. The rest are for Christmas gifts. When you are feeling the way I am these days, taking the time to pick out the stationery I'll use, thinking about what to write, and addressing the correspondance is exactly the kind of work that can be satisfying and rewarding, reminding me of what I am thankful for. 

Finally, I've been working on my syllabi, particularly for ENGL 377. Making steady progress here and feeling excited about the work the students and I will take on this semester.

In between all of that, there's been walking (mostly around the house--too cold and rainy for me to venture out), movies, and TV. 

Almost got misty when I saw that Bob's Burgers reruns are on until 9:00 (and then the regular episode on Fox at 9:30). Perfect accompaniment for working through my list...

Still thinking about "What the Living Do," perhaps the perfect text for this "always strange but this year stranger than ever" time of year before the spring semester starts.

"What the Living Do"

27 December 2025: A little over two months ago, I kicked off what I called a marathon--one that I thought would be done in mid-November. I thought it was just about over by the time I wrote this post. I was wrong. 

It actually ended--I think? I hope?--yesterday when I got back to WV. 

Time now for stillness, I think/hope. Lots of work to do--so much--but I am catching my breath and hoping to settle in. 

I was in bed before 10:00 last night and, though I woke up--wide awake--at 4:00, I made myself drift back to sleep a few more times. I stayed in bed longer than I have in months. Jo insisted on staying with me--right up next to me or on me--for most of it. She's ready for stillness, too. 

Still so sad, though. Still so many Big Thoughts. 

Stillness is good--and so necessary. But I will lose my mind if that's all there is. I need things to do. Anchored in place, yes, but active. I need to do "What the Living Do."

On the drive back yesterday, I listened to Saeed Jones read Marie Howe's poem on the latest Vibe Check. Saeed called it a "Modern Scripture" for him and I think it might be for me, too.

This morning (walking past what used to be a video store!), I caught my reflection in the some window glass and thought of the poem's closing:

"But there are moments, walking, when I catch a glimpse of myself in the window glass,

say, the window of the corner video store, and I'm gripped by a cherishing so deep

for my own blowing hair, chapped face, and unbuttoned coat that I’m speechless:

I am living. I remember you."

Six years and one day...

26 December 2025: I know I realized my math was wrong a while ago, so my record-keeping might be suspect, but today my 10K walking streak hit six years and one day. Wild.

Spent a big chunk of today in my car, driving back from NY. By the time I got home, an icy rain was setting in, so I did most of my steps around the house. Weirdo.  

Christmas 2025

25 December 2025:

[Catch-up post...]

Muddled through somehow, as the song goes. Presents with my mom, church, a visit to the cemetery where Ryan is, a long, cold, windy walk (the only kind they are offering on LI these days, I guess), dinner at Tara's, Legos with Evan, then back to Palm Road for the Call the Midwife holiday episode. 

Christmas Eve 2025

24 December 2025: Long day filled with highs and lows and lots of big thoughts and feelings. Finding comfort and reassurance in these words...

Isaiah 9:6: "For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace."