"Samantha Smith vs. the Cold War"

30 September 2025: I didn't know anything about Samantha Smith before I listened to this episode of You're Wrong About... today on my walk.  Something about learning about this kid who pushed for peace and understanding--who did what grown-ups wouldn't do--moved me almost to tears on a day in which our president and his henchman declared war on American citizens. 

Back to Bender's

29 September 2025: Guest-hosting trivia at Captain Bender's this week and next. It has been a long day and I am bone-tired, but that was a nice way to spend a couple of hours this evening. Fun people who are always very kind to me! 

Letting myself off the hook a bit...

28 September 2025: My original "to do" list for today was pretty stacked. It would have meant a slog of a day, without much room to breath and relax. Then I realized that two of the items on that list are less pressing than I thought they were. My list of projects is about to get much shorter and that means more time to focus on others. Boring and vague sentences, but the specific don't matter. What does matter is that I've got time to get it all done.

So I let myself slow down today. I've still been working pretty much all day--and have about an hour's worth of stuff left, but the stress is lighter and I've found ways to sprinkle in some enjoyment. 

Grateful for the realization that doing so was possible. 

No Dunking...

 27 September 2025: Good thing someone posted this sign right by our table at this morning's open house. These three English professors and our dean would have been dunking like crazy otherwise.

The Wedding Banquet

26 September 2025: 

[Catch-up post]

What a sweet movie The Wedding Banquet is! Carrie and Rachel came over on Friday night to watch it. I had never seen the original version, but this one was delightful. And more importantly, it was nice to chill with a couple of friends, eat pizza, and even take a break from the movie to watch a pretty sunset from the porch. 

2101

25 September 2025: 

"Dr. Hanrahan!" 

That's how Roy, a student I don't think I've seen in at least a year, greeted me as I started my walk today. 

"On a walk? Mind if I join you?"

So he did. We mostly talked about his big passion: Civil War reenacting. He's a good kid--a baby face and an old soul. I just very fond of him and am rooting for him so hard. 

Not a bad way to get myself towards Day 2101. 

2100

24 September 2025: With apologies to Wallace Stevens, four ways of looking at my morning walk, from about 7:50 to 8:30 a.m., on this, the day my streak hit 2100 days.

One: Autumn is making its presence known, though summer still holds on. The sidewalk on the way down to the monument were thick with leaves, wet from yesterday's rain. I felt myself walking with the slightest bit of extra caution.

Two: At Rumsey Park, a woman was grooming a great big dog, who stood on a picnic table almost completely still, a model client. And a very "Shepherdstown" scene. 

Three: As I turned by the train station, I waved at a woman I had passed earlier. She came up behind me and said, "It's Heidi, right?" I have no idea how she knew me, but we started talking about her daughter, who took ENGL as a dual enrollment student and had a wonderful experience. The woman, Hillary, said she'd send me the instructor's name when she looked it up. "I will write you any testimonial you need!" she said. What a gift she gave me--making me feel good about our program, the work we do, and the extraordinary faculty in my program. We also talked about a colleague in a different department, her neighbor and friend. This woman is extraordinary and hearing about her from the perspective someone who knows her outside of Shepherd just made admire her more. 

Four: As Hillary ducked off to head to the post office, another colleague/friend walked by. As usual, her outfit was perfect. Just right for an early fall day in the Eastern Panhandle. 

Trying to book a modeling gig...

23 September 2025: Who knew that cats could get irritable bowel disease? Well, now I know because Jo has it. She'll be fine, but she scared me (only alluded to it in earlier posts) with some bloody vomit. Gross and terrifying! 

She spent a big chunk of today at the vet--which I hated--and came home with a shaved belly, some prescriptions, and guidance for a new "sensitive digestive system" diet. 

I came home about $900 poorer, but with my Jojo, so we'll take it.

Anyway, after initially being more muted than I've ever seen her--which really bummed me out, she seemed to have rebounded into her old self by the time I came home from trivia. 

Not sure if she will end up eating this new food (3 times more expensive than the old)*, but she is making a good pitch for being their new cover model.

*The wet food will cost maybe four times as much!

Monday night ruminations...

22 September 2025: Lots on my mind tonight (not all bad!) but doing an okay job working through things and staying steady. Thinking about the good parts: my students, my colleagues, my friends. Grateful for pleasant distractions, like Bob's Burgers and Dawson's Creek. Grateful that the big pot of soup that I made last night meant a low effort and delicous dinner tonight. Hoping to turn in by 10:30 or so. 

And determined to cross some things off the big lists tomorrow and make it a good day.

Walking buddy...

21 September 2025: Took my walk today while on the phone with Vogel (such developments are much easier since I joined the 21st century and actually have earbuds with a microphone). Made the time just fly by and almost felt like she was on the walk with me. It was awesome.

Darkly funny that I also saw The Long Walk today, a predictably disturbing movie that also gestures towards the power of love and friendship. (Not sure how I feel about it yet, though I don't want to watch it again and looked away a lot.)

Locked out...

20 September 2025: Having my old phone just stop working means that the new phone won't let me set up the Authenticator app on it which also means I am locked out of my work email, calendar, and other programs. It's unsettling and annoying but at least it's made it easy to not look at work email! 

Made it through Friday...

19 September 2025: The absolute ordeal to get to "this work week is over" has been wild. Busy, busy, busy as the world is on fire. Then add a feline health scare (looks okay now, but still keeping an eye on things). Then add my cellphone just deciding to stop working at 5:00 p.m. 

Did manage some items for the "good stuff" list: got great news about a friend's mom's surgery, taught two terrific classes, and got my flu and COVID shot. (Thanks, pre-existing conditions!)

Anyway, really, really need a couple of quiet days.

Common Reading Keynote...

18 September 2025: Long day, but one that ended on a really great note, with Shepherd alumnus and friend Joshua Cross reading his work for this year's Common Reading keynote.

When it's very hard for them...

17 September 2025: Thinking today about the student who met with me to talk about her coursework. She got a text midway through our conversation that clearly unnerved her. I could see her losing focus and getting noticeably uneasy the more we talked. 

When we were done, I said, "Are you okay?" 

And out it all came, tears and all: she's struggling with a health issue and can't find a provider in the area who takes her parents' insurance. Because she isn't getting treatment, it's impacting her relationship with a live-in partner. That partner now says they need to break up. And not live together. All of this, all at once. With the world on fire. And classes. And a job. 

"I try to keep it all inside, but it's hard." 

What could I say? 

I made sure she was okay and safe. (She said she was.) I made sure she was connected with campus resources. (She is.) 

And I told her that I was cheering for her and that it all sounded really hard and that I was sorry. And that she could do it--she could and would get through it all, but that it sucks that she has to. Told her again how fond we are all of her. That I was here if she needed me. Told her to go to the library, get herself a treat, and be kind to herself. And she left. 

And I am still thinking about it.

God forbid we had a working health care system for everyone. 

Every semester, so many conversations like these. Every semester. 

Draft: DONE!

16 September 2025: Finished a draft of my half of the "Year's Work" essay late this afternoon and man, that feels great. Next step is editing and revising, then swapping halves with my co-writer. I think I got myself more worked up about being behind than I needed to, but that's just because chunks of time I ahd assumed I could use for writing got swallowed up in the first few weeks of the semester. 

But our deadline to submit to each other is October 1, so I've got two weeks left on my end--and will probably send it to my co-author pretty soon. 

The deadline for us to submit to the journal is October 15. We've got this and that feels good. 

Focus on the good...

15 September 2025: Lots to be unhappy and anxious about at work (though nothing teaching-related; the best part of the job, etc.). Still, I am so glad that Tim shared some great news about staffing our program and then, when things got more negative over the course of the rest of our conversation, he brought it up again. Grateful for a treasured friend who reminds me to focus on the good.

Leaning into cozy...

14 September 2025: Tonight our little book club discussed Hiro Arikawa's The Passengers on the Hankyu Line, a sweet and cozy book about people's lives intertwining on a Japanese railway. When it came time to choose the next book, we were--as we are so often--torn between two titles. Cory described one as "cozy," though, and Kaitlyn and I cut to the chase: with the world the way it is now, let's go with cozy. 

Auralee Wallace's In the Company of Witches, here we come.

Saturday reset...

13 September 2025: Grateful for a sunny mid-September Saturday when I can tackle a bunch of chores and work-related tasks, filled with the satisfication of crossing items off a long list. It's been a quiet day so far--mostly me puttering around, with occasional pauses to admire or play with BabyCat and Jojo. In a little while, I'll pick up Amy for a movie (the new--and last?--Downton Abbey film) and we'll probably grab some dinner. A day like this--low-key, productive, and satisfying--helps me reset after a week like the one we've just been through.

Sources of Strength

12 September 2025: Took part in a six-hour Sources of Strength training this afternoon into the evening. (Actually missed the first hour because I was in class.) This has been a long week and I have so much to do. And I am running on a sleep deficit.

But it was really powerful and important. I am glad I did it and grateful to have spent time with the wonderful folks in the group. (A bit too tired to even try to be more eloquent!)

Shiny Happy Dreams

11 September 2025: I am so grateful that the hope and energy of my early-ish post yesterday carried me through the rest of the day as things grew much darker in the wake of more gun violence.

Woke up with that darkness weighing on me. Then I heard two songs on my brief run to and from Sheetz this morning: "Shiny Happy People" and "Dreams." Sunny, optimistic songs from 1991 and 1993, when I was so young and the world at least pretended to make more sense. 

On the two minute drive to Sheetz, the juxtaposition of "Shiny Happy People" to my emotions almost made me laugh. 

When I got back in the car and "Dreams" was playing? I just cried. 

I can't really say what all of this means--why it stands out to me. But I want to mark it and remember it. 

They are so good at this...

10 September 2025: I want to remember how good my American Fiction class was today. 

We finished up Huck Finn through the lens of really spikey pieces of criticism and we start James on Monday. Before we got that part started, though, listening to their pre-class chatter, I asked them what 9-11 means to their generation. Boy, did that spark an enlightening conversation. (They weren't born then, of course.) Somehow--but it's actually not that much of a mystery if you think about it--we made that connection back to Twain and his, to quote Toni Morrison (whose piece they read!), "amazing, troubling book."

These kids are so angry about our world. Used to the specter of violence hanging over them for every day of their lives. (Returned to my office to see news of a shooting of a right-wing figure on a college campus and a shooting at a high school in Colorado. It's always appalling and soul-crushing, but less shocking every time.)

These students are jaded and cynical and...angry. 

But also not without energy and hope. 

And they are so damn smart and decent. 

They give me so much hope. 

Need some writing time...

9 September 2025: The last three days for which I set aside blocks of time to work on the Year's Work essay...it didn't happen. Including today.

Other annoying stuff just piles up and demands attention. Stuff takes longer than you think it would. And none of this "stuff" is preparing for classes or grading. 

The writing will get done, but wow...

Jeopardy! is back!

8 September 2025: Long Monday (see previous post re: a bruiser of a week). Got home after Jeopardy! started--and not even aware that we were back to new episodes, but the DVR caught it. Having it back in my evening routine? Now it's a fall semester. 

Busy Sunday...

7 September 2025: Apologies for repetitive post titles and content this weekend, but when it works, it works?

Supermarket in the morning, brunch and an early movie after that, then mowed the lawn (the first time in about a month; it's been so dry!), worked on a home improvement project, and tackled some work-work. Still a lot to go, which isn't great for a Sunday evening, but all in all, feeling okay. 

This week ahead is a bruiser, schedule-wise. One step at a time. 

Busy Saturday...

6 September 2025: 

Really cool, useful, and even moving workshop this morning about holistic teaching and yoga.

Fun women's soccer game where they won 2-0.

Nice evening with a friend who came over to watch a movie.

Excellent long phone call with Vogel after my friend left.

All the weekly chores knocked out in the in-between times.

Not a bad Saturday at all. 

The Conjuring: Last Rites

5 September 2025: I am tired in my bones, but so glad that Amy and I went to see the latest (and last?) Conjuring movie this evening. So much fun. I would watch a million more of these movies. Keep 'em coming!

"Moving Out" in the Food Lion

4 September 2025: Long day where I didn't get enough done and still have a couple of hours work to do. And tomorrow will be really long, too. But at the grocery store this evening (getting just cat food, ha), this song came on and I sang it under my breath and even swayed a bit at the self-check out. It ruled.

Kitchen floor crashing...

3 September 2025: First thing I did when I came through the door after being gone for eleven hours? 

Dropped my bag and got on the kitchen floor with Jo, who was very happy to see me. 

Long day...lots to do, lots to worry about. Seems pretty early in the semester for "miles to go before I sleep" to be in my head... 

But it'll be okay. I've got this--with some help from this girl and good friend.

(BabyCat also lives here.) 

A bit of relief...

2 September 2025: So grateful today that a dear friend's mom received some encouraging news about some medical concerns. Still a ways to go until on the journey of figuring everything out, but man: when everything is so hard everywhere, it feels like such a relief and gift to have some decent news. 

Progress!

1 September 2025: Finally--over the past two days--I have had the time and the mental space to get some writing done on my portion of the Year's Work essay. It feels so good to be in that groove. Right now, the Twain section is drafted and needs another round of reading-through, revising, and editing. 

Next up is the "literature" section about all the non-Twain stuff. Hoping to knock a lot of that out this week. 

(Always funny to make progress on work on Labor Day, but the freedom from a regular work day makes it possible!