Guilt even with a finished list?

27 August 2023: Finished up my entire weekly "Book Work/Year's Work Essay" list a few hours ago. I also mowed the lawn, washed the bed linens, vacuumed floors, ran an errand or two--basically worked my way through most of my daily list. It is crazy, though, how weird and wrong it feels that I already watched two movies since/during all of that and might be about to hit "play" on another. 

I spend a lot of time imagining what it will be like when this book is done--when I plan on taking a break from the pressure of deadlines and all that. And when Senate is done. A weekend without work as the norm and not a rare treat. Fewer 12+ hour days on campus. 

That kind of freedom will be, I think (as evidenced by today's guilt), a strange and maybe even anxiety-inducing experience. 

But I am still so excited as it keeps creeping closer. 

(Also hilarious that my brain just said, "So why not do some more work tonight and get even closer to that part sooner?" We'll see...)