"A Living Prayer"

28 June 2018:

"Take my life and let it be
A living prayer
My God to thee..." --Alison Krauss and Union Station, "A Living Prayer"

This week has been simply awful as it seems like all of the fears from November 2016 are coming to fruition. I wake up in the morning and remember where we are heading and it is just so painful. What brings comfort and strength? I don't know, but these words from "A Living Prayer" provide some comfort and guidance.

Dear Prudence...

27 June 2018: "You will not be able to hate yourself out of this problem." --Dear Prudence dropping some serious wisdom on this week's podcast.

Nanette

26 June 2018: "But I have been questioning this whole comedy thing. I don’t feel very comfortable in it anymore. I built a career out of self-deprecating humor. That’s what I built a career on. And I don’t want to do that anymore. Because do you understand what self-deprecation means when it comes from somebody who already exists in the margins? It’s not humility. It’s humiliation. I put myself down in order to speak—in order to seek permission to speak. And I simply will not do that anymore, not to myself or to anybody who identifies with me." --Hannah Gadsby, in her comedy special, Nanette.

I started watching Nanette last night and the particular section I quoted above (discussed in more detail in this piece) really jumped out at me. I am always interested in what marginalized folks have to do to gain a voice--and the price they pay to do so. It is particularly interesting to think about this through the lens of comedy. As someone who likes to make people laugh, sometimes at my own expense, I find myself looking back at those moves and asking, "Wait, they laughed with me. But was it also at me? That doesn't feel great." (This happens less now than when I was younger...)

(Two posts in a row based on stand-up specials (by queer women, too), but avoiding repetition has never been reason enough for me to change my daily posting plans.)

Rape Jokes

25 June 2018: “You wanna leave a legacy? Get in the way.” –Cameron Esposito, towards the end of her comedy special Rape Jokes, which you can watch here. It's available for free, but you can (and should, if you are able) kick in a donation to RAINN. It's money well spent--one hour of great comedy with moments of real gravity and importance.

"Leopard"

24 June 2018: Listened to this story this morning on my walk. It's an amazing portrait of an eleven year old's mind. That it is read by David Sedaris, who then discusses it afterwards, is a terrific bonus. Give it a listen.

Ballpark fun!

23 June 2018: An evening at the ballpark with a couple of my favorite people. Lovely. (And a free bobble head!)

"Us Again"

22 June 2018:

Rainy day = plans to go blueberry picking with my sister and the girls are canceled

+

Rainy day = evening plans to see a baseball game with fireworks after probably also canceled

+

Frustration/guilt over not getting enough work done yet this summer

+

Mopey/big thoughts in general

=

1 Bad Mood.


BUT....

1 Bad Mood

+

This song 

=

1 Slowly-Getting-Better Mood

"a great navigator..."

21 June 2018: “She should have been a man—a great navigator…her strong, impervious will would never have been doubted by opposition or difficulty” –Constantin Heger (who was her tutor in Belgium) on Emily Brontë.

Spent some time today thinking about Brontë and preparing for my seminar in the fall. Endlessly fascinated by how often nineteenth-century folks wish out loud that talented women were men.

Summer 2018 Grading: DONE!

Just clicked "submit" on final grades. Feels good, but a bit more mellow than during the regular semester. So cue mellow chair-dancing.

Truth...

20 June 2018:

I haven't been able to stop thinking about those babies crying for their parents. I saw this image on Facebook and it really spoke to me, especially as someone who regularly teaches abolitionist texts and wonders what I would have done back in those days.

So I contacted my senators and congressman today. And I will keep doing it. And I want to do more. We must do more.

Tiny summer visitor

19 June 2018:

Don't look away...

18 June 2018: I just forced myself to listen to this entire recording. It is excruciating and I found myself sobbing out loud. This policy is evil. What else is there to say?

A summer story...

17 June 2018: A summer story in five pictures...

Sleepy pep talk...

16 June 2018: Saturday syllabizing with some encouragement from my biggest fan. He's like, "you got this, but I need a nap."

More on A Tale for the Time Being

15 June 2018: This book is dominating my posts this week. One reason is obvious, as we are moving through it in my summer class. But it is also resonating as we move through yet another horrific week for our country...children ripped from parents, put in cages...it's too much. So these words from one of Ozeki's characters, who is struck by the power of literature, move me yet again:

“I find myself drawn to literature more now than in the past; not the individual works as much as the idea of literature—the heroic effort and nobility of our human desire to make beauty of our minds, which moves me to tears, and I have to brush them away quickly, before anyone notices” (257).

Sounds good...

14 June 2018: "Let's all just write letters in longhand and love each other." -- a student in my class today, with some thoughts about how to make life (and the world) better.

Birthday boy...

13 June 2018:

Here's one of my favorite silly pictures of my big brother, Christian, who is celebrating a birthday today. This was on Thanksgiving back in 2011 (as if the turkey wasn't enough of a clue). He's a pretty cool dude (and an excellent cook--again, see turkey) and always up for something fun. I love him a lot. Happy birthday, buddy! Hope you have the great day/month/year you deserve.

Back to A Tale for the Time Being

12 June 2018: Re-reading this wonderful book, this time because I am teaching it (for the first time!) in my summer class. Since I read it this morning, this passage where Nao is explaining her complicated interactions with her father, has been on my mind:

“The important thing was that we were being polite and not saying all the things that were making us unhappy, which was the only way we knew how to love each other.”

How often do we act this way with each other, I wonder?

"The Things That Count"

11 June 2018: Though it's been a good day for the most part, I am feeling a bit melancholy this evening, a mixture of worrying about the world (another depressing and anxiety-inducing news day) and stewing over my own "stuff." This poem, from the poem-a-day email, has been sitting in my inbox for over a week, but I am glad that I looked at it today.

Here's the opening:

Now, dear, it isn’t the bold things,

Great deeds of valour and might,

That count the most in the summing up of life at the end of the day.

But it is the doing of old things,

Small acts that are just and right;

And doing them over and over again, no matter what others say...

Give the whole thing a read.

First of the season...

10 June 2018: A bit late in coming, but I had my first ice-cream cone (from an actual ice-cream shop) of the season today. It was melty and messy and delicious and a sure sign of summer (even if it was a cloudy, rainy day).

"The Third and Final Continent"

9 June 2018: Finished re-reading Interpreter of Maladies again for my summer class. (We're discussing it this upcoming week.) I just went back through the blog and found all the times I have already written about her work, particularly this text. What pleasure and reward her work has brought me over the years!

Today I found myself moved by an few lines from the closing story, "The Third and Final Continent," in which a man looks ahead (while he, as a narrator is actually looking back) and sees his future with his new wife: "Like me, Mala had traveled far from home, not knowing where she was going, or what she would find, for no reason other than to be my wife. As strange as it seemed, I knew in my heart that one day her death would affect me, and stranger still, that mine would affect her." It's such a cool moment, underplayed and realistic, profound and quiet.

Three years old...

8 June 2018: When the month started, I resolved to finally pick a date to celebrate BabyCat/Veronica's birthday. When my holiday-a-day calendar told me today was "Best Friends Day," I thought she would appreciate the sarcasm. Oh well...happy 3rd birthday to this beautiful and hard-to-crack nut.

"River in the Rain"

7 June 2018: Still floating from last night's concert, memories of which got me through some rougher moments today. So today's post is just a link to this song, the one she opened with last night. From the first lines, I was hooked.

Alison Krauss Concert

6 June 2018:

[Catch-up post]

Amy and I saw Alison Krauss (and David Crosby, who opened for her) last night at Wolf Trap. Simply put, one of the best concerts I've ever been to. From the first notes she sang, I had chills. What bliss!

A&R Session A: Done!

5 June 2018: We are back at it with Advising and Registration, completing to the first of four two-day sessions today. It's nice to spend time with my "camp" friends again and meet the new students. But I am also kind of worn out from a busy run of days. But that's okay: I don't mind it if I am doing work I love with people I really like.

"Because the Night"

4 June 2018: Long, crazy, busy, and kind of stressful day (but most of it okay) and this song has been giving me life as I move through it. That's all.

So long, Pittsburgh...

3 June 2018:

One last stop (at the top of the Duquesne Incline) before heading home. It was a great trip.

More Pittsburgh...

2 June 2018:

[Catch-up Post]

A great day in Pittsburgh. Some silly photo highlights...

With Cory at the Warhol Museum.

Tim and Kevin stealing the show at the Warhol.

Being ridiculous in front of the Willie Stargell statue at PNC Park.

Pittsburgh bound!

1 June 2018:

[Catch-up post]

Off for a quick road-trip to Pittsburgh with some of my favorite people: Tim, Kevin, Hannah, and Cory. We go here yesterday (Friday) and are having a blast so far. Just a couple of pictures might suffice for a post?

Pit-stop find: this inspiration to "share a Coke" with my favorite Williams.

Lord, this dinner we had a Lydia Bastianich's restaurant...whew! Delicious from start to finish--and the finish was this limoncello tiramisu.